XXVII.
HOW ABOUT THE LITTLE GIRLS?
“A SHORT time since you advocated ‘teaching little boys to be useful’ by training them to do, indoors or out, whatever, for the time being, lay within the compass of their strength and ability. But now we wish to ask, How about little girls? The boys say it isn’t fair to call upon them to perform ‘girls’ work,’ unless the girls are made to reciprocate the favor, and are willing to take their turn in doing ‘boys’ work’ when necessary.”
Bless your little hearts, dear boys! Who objects to that? Not the little girls, certainly. Isn’t it just what many of the big girls are seeking to do, and the big boys—“children of a larger growth” than you, my little man—are striving to prevent? Where is the girl, unless she has by fashion and conventionalities been unnaturally biassed, who would not gladly, once in a while, exchange sewing, sweeping, and dusting for a run out into the free air and glad sunshine, to take your place, and do your work,—feed the chickens, weed in the garden, hoe the corn, milk the cows, or rake the hay,—though modern improvements have of late cheated them of half such pleasures? Anything that little boys can do, little girls would think “such fun,” if they might occasionally have the privilege of doing it,—country girls, we mean,—God help those whose home is in the city! There are so few pleasures there that the young can enjoy in the open air. To walk on hard, cold sidewalks, dressed like little ballet-dancers, or ride over the rough pavements, with no free, untrammeled movement, or through the dirty streets, with their vile, impure smells, can give no such joys as our country damsels, with their larger inheritance and more abundant blessings, are in daily possession of. There is nothing equal to the pleasure our little folks may find, in any kind of outdoor employment, that is suited to their age and strength. These simple labors prepare them for larger and more important duties, and the knowledge will bring abiding comfort and self-reliance as they advance in age and intelligence.
“Will not such work make girls coarse, romping, and hoydenish? Rough, noisy boys are bad enough; would you have our girls become like them?”
Is it the outdoor work that makes them so? Is it not rather the overflow of animal spirits that can find no way of escape but by boisterous, wild action? It is not very agreeable to the old and staid, to be sure, and it certainly is less annoying outdoors than in; yet it promotes health, and is only what we all did, or longed to do, in our youth. Age will soon tame the wild spirits, or restrain a too exuberant overflow, and nothing keeps them in check like pleasant labor. There are, to be sure, sometimes unfortunate associations with really coarse, rude natures, which are very objectionable. We would never allow girls or boys to come under such influence if we could help it; but that evil is to be found in every position,—as often in the house as in the field,—and if not inherent in your child’s own character, the influence will soon be discarded, the dross be separated, and the purer nature rise dominant. You must go out of the world to insure safety from such contact.
“But country girls are not often ladylike and graceful; and work outdoors will tend to make them still more awkward. I couldn’t endure to see my little girl brought up under such influences.”
We have never found in the city more graceful, ladylike, intelligent, pure-minded girls than we have seen in the country; but we have sometimes noticed that those who live nearest to the city, or have spent much time there, too often acquire artificial habits, affectation, coquetry, loud, bold speech, or a fondness for dress, too stylish for a truly modest girl’s adorning, that is seldom seen in real country life. We do not think that any kind or amount of labor will make one less modest or ladylike. We believe that our girls should know how to do, with their own hands, everything that they have strength for, and thereby secure and establish vigor and capacity for duties that, in after years, may fall to their lot. We do not mean that outdoor labor should be their habitual employment. We wish them to have the actual knowledge; but the heavier work, which more appropriately belongs to boys and men, should be undertaken by girls and women only on an emergency. Then love or will, or both united, can make woman strong to do the hardest work, if she has the knowledge, while the necessity lasts. It is because such calls may be made on every one all through life, that we would have each one secure the knowledge early; but in extreme cases, the overstrain on a woman’s physical life, if long continued, will compel the payment of large interest in later years, and therefore should be undertaken through necessity only. God has not organized man and woman alike, physically; nor, do we believe, mentally either. We hasten to add, lest we should be arraigned for heresy, that we do not say they are not equal, but only different; the question of equality we wait for their own works to answer. Woman has sweeter, tenderer, dearer duties, demanding an organization distinct from that which fits man for his rougher, harder, more extended, more public, but not more noble work. We hear of women who have cut down their timber, built their walls, ploughed their fields, or done the blacksmithing for the neighborhood with their own hands, from choice,—a kind of work which we could not do, and would not if we could, unless driven to it by some pressing necessity; but we should like to store up the knowledge how to do it against the time of need. Still, we need not object if others take pleasure in it. Yet will not their own bodies, when they leave youth behind and go down to middle age, bear witness against the unnatural strain which they have been subjected to? Those whose office it is “to replenish the earth” cannot make these violent drafts upon their system with impunity. It is not for a regular, daily occupation that we would desire to have girls taught how to do their brothers’ work as well as their own, though much that pertains to that will always be pleasant and attractive, and light work in the open air will always furnish healthy exercise for our girls; but we want to see every member of the family so educated that there may never occur a vacancy about the home that some one, girl or boy, man or woman, is not able and willing to step into and fill satisfactorily. To this end, faithfully teach your little ones, girls or boys, to put their hands to any work that is necessary.
“Next you will tell us to let our girls saw and split wood, milk the cows, harness and unharness the horse, etc.”
Yes. Why not? They should know how to do all this, and do it well; and try it often enough to feel at ease and without fear in the effort, and that will be sufficient for the present. But suppose in a few years your daughter marries, and goes from you to some distant settlement where neighbors are scarce and “help” uncertain. Girls of wealth and refinement have done such things. Let the monotony of frontier life be occasionally enlivened by a real attack of chills and fever in which all take a part. When husband and “help,” if your daughter is so fortunate as to secure any, take their turn in shaking, will not the wife look back to the time when brother Will and she had their miniature saws and hatchets, and made much sport in preparing the kindlings? Won’t she see that the knowledge how to do this, which was simply amusement then, has been stored up for real service now? She little thought when grandpa taught her to milk old Brindle without fear of the gentle animal, how she would thank him for it in this far-off home. Are you sure that your little girl will never be placed in circumstances, for only a few hours perhaps, when she would be most thankful to know how to do any one of these things? Can you not imagine circumstances where it would be an incalculable blessing? We can, any number of them, not at all beyond the bounds of possibility. We have known cases where it was almost a matter of life or death, that a lady should have skill and courage to harness a horse and hasten for help. These cases may be rare; yet if they come but once in a lifetime, is not the lesson worth the learning? If you were driving a team—a very desirable accomplishment for any young lady—and the harness should break or become unfastened, ought you not, for your own safety, to know how to repair the mischief? Every girl should early learn how each part of the harness must be adjusted, else the pleasure and independence of being able to drive when older will be attended with much risk, and often with fatal consequences. Youth—early childhood—is the time to secure this knowledge, that you may be prepared to use it with confidence and self-control when needed. Even if it is never needed in later life, knowing how will not injure any one.