Motherly talks with young housekeepers / embracing eighty-seven brief articles on topics of home interest, and about five hundred choice receipts for cooking, etc.

A YOUNG lady writes that this old adage is often repeated to her “in connection with grave warnings against early engagements and early marriages,” and asks for our opinion and advice.

This old proverb sounds very wise, and if taken literally may, for aught we know, be correct doctrine; but when used as a warning, in the connection which our friend suggests, we don’t more than half believe in it. We are no advocate for very long engagements or unreasonably early marriages; but we do believe that the happiest marriages are of those between whom the love was early plighted, and that close observation will prove that such are the most likely to stand the test of time, and pass through the many rough and hazardous paths of married life with the most cheerful fortitude. Those who have delayed marriage till their habits have become too firmly established to yield kindly to another’s wishes or peculiarities have not, we think, so sure a prospect of a pleasant and harmonious life. We would sooner trust an early union to carry the wedded pair down to a peaceful old age, not only without losing the love that first united them, but with the firm hope that it would grow brighter and brighter until that perfect day when both, having passed over the river, shall stand with clearer vision and purified affection before the throne of God.

When school-days are over and the young man enters upon his chosen occupation, and the maiden leaves her school-room to return to her mother’s care, then we believe that a betrothal formed with pure love for the basis is a great safeguard. It protects the lover from many temptations by which young men away from home are beset, especially in the city. They have little society save such transient companions as may cross their path, and who will, perhaps, seek to entice them to find pleasure in low and unrefined, if not in really impure and sinful courses. In the evening, after the day’s work is ended, time hangs heavy on their hands, they crave something, they know not what, and are easily entrapped.

Now, while a true love will teach a man to turn from such pleasures in disgust, it will also save the maiden any desire to indulge in the flirtations and coquetries with which gay and fashionable society tempts young and unguarded girls to degrade themselves. An engagement does not always prevent this, we are sorry to say, but pure love will prove an unfailing protection.

Neither do we believe an engagement should be protracted after the lover has entered upon his business or profession, until he has accumulated sufficient wealth to keep his bird in a golden cage.

Begin real life together. That is the true way, all the sweeter and happier if you begin small. The less style and display there is, the more time each will have to study the home character of the one they have accepted as a companion for life, and the better opportunity to learn easily how to bear and forbear, to tone down such peculiarities as are not conducive to mutual confidence and harmony. In all characters there will be such peculiarities,—it is quite right there should be,—but by carrying the same gentleness and courtesy into domestic life which was so easily and naturally given in the days of courtship, yielding a little, giving up one to the other, the early wedded become assimilated, and find in their union an ever-increasing joy, which a later marriage, when the habits become fixed and unyielding, seldom realizes.

“But to begin life in a small way, with limited means, subjects one to much drudgery and many deprivations; besides, we lose caste. Those who knew us in our father’s house, surrounded with comfort and luxury, would scarcely deign to notice us if found in circumstances so at variance with our parents’ mode of life.”

Such friends are scarcely worth the securing. You have outgrown babyhood and childhood, and, having entered upon man’s and woman’s estate, surely do not expect to be always cradled in your parents’ arms; but if you are of any worth you should cheerfully accept life as you find it. “Its rough ascents or flowing slopes,” if trod together and in love, will insure genuine happiness, and we often think one stores up quite as much real pleasure while passing through the rough places as when walking among the flowers. We know that the retrospection is often a source of unfailing enjoyment.

Many, we are aware, find great delight in selecting the house that is to be their home, and furnishing it as elaborately and tastefully as their means will permit, perhaps even beyond a safe limit, and then surprising the bride by ushering her into this unexpected establishment. The surprise is doubtless effected, but although the annoyance may be concealed, in nine cases out of ten we venture to say it is keenly felt. When possible, both should act together in selecting the house, or it may be “rooms,” where is to be their home, and the taste and judgment of both be consulted in selecting the furniture which they expect to have before their eyes daily. In examining and counseling together frequently, they modify each other’s tastes, and in the end are far better satisfied than if either had done the work alone.

The money for furnishing a house is often provided as a part of the bride’s outfit, and of course, if she chooses so to consider the matter, it is her right to select the furniture, without consulting another’s taste or wishes. But the older we grow the more we are satisfied that my rights should be erased from the matrimonial dictionary, and our rights substituted.