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"Mr. Punch's" Book of Arms cover

"Mr. Punch's" Book of Arms

Chapter 22: Marie, Countess Corelli.
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About This Book

A sequence of humorous mock coats of arms presents parody blazons, crests, supporters, and mottos that lampoon prominent public figures, institutions, and current events of the author's day. Each entry mimics heraldic language while twisting symbols into absurd, ironic descriptions that expose political foibles, journalistic excesses, and imperial pretensions. The work alternates detailed visual description with sharp, often bawdy wordplay, arranging entries like an illustrated armorial interspersed with brief epigrams. Through exaggerated symbolism and mock-formality, it satirizes power, public personalities, and civic ceremonial, inviting readers to view familiar characters and controversies through a comic, barbed heraldic lens.

Marie, Countess Corelli.

Arms / quarterly / i on a ground sable of reserve, invincible to the last, a log proper constitutionally averse to being rolled under a column and a half / ij in a servants' 'orle, a dog's-eared volume melodramatic and transpontine to the full, circulating urgent / iij two wild horses at speed, trainant from a studio a startling portrait of a talented authoress, painted under protest, and exhibited with obvious reluctance by the victim +members of the press and aristocracy most welcome, 4.30 to 7+ / iiij hidden under a bushel proper +of plate-glass+ a light of literature, shining in reclame / over all, on an escutcheon of reticence, a trumpet of glory, usually blown automatically, but quite at the service of the press, gratis. Crest / a startled fawn, proper, of timidity, seeking shelter urgent, from a wreath of laurels issuant from the suburbs. Supporters / dexter, a curate habited sable proper, and guileless to the verge of inanity passant in perusal proper of 'The Botherations of Beelzebub' / sinister, a cook-general proper guttee-de-larmes palpitant in pathos absorbent the 'Sorrers o' Syt'n.' Second Motto / 'If I am forgotten, it won't be my fault!'