The Project Gutenberg eBook of My Opinions and Betsey Bobbet's
Title: My Opinions and Betsey Bobbet's
Author: Marietta Holley
Illustrator: J. C. Beard
Release date: September 21, 2017 [eBook #55594]
Most recently updated: October 23, 2024
Language: English
Credits: Produced by Emmy, MFR and the Online Distributed
Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was
produced from images generously made available by The
Internet Archive)
Transcriber’s Note: Obvious printer and punctuation errors have been corrected, but dialect, unconventional and inconsistent spellings (haint/hain’t, their/thier, etc) are left untouched.
Cover image created by the transcriber, and placed in the public domain.
MR. BOBBET TELLS NEWS.
MY OPINIONS
AND
BETSEY BOBBET’S.
DESIGNED AS
A BEACON LIGHT,
TO GUIDE WOMEN TO LIFE, LIBERTY AND THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS,
BUT WHICH MAY BE READ BY
MEMBERS OF THE STERNER SECT,
WITHOUT INJURY TO THEMSELVES
OR THE BOOK.
BY
JOSIAH ALLEN’S WIFE.
“Who will read the Book, Samantha, when it is rote?”
PUBLISHED BY SUBSCRIPTION ONLY,
HARTFORD, CONN.:
AMERICAN PUBLISHING COMPANY.
1884.
Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1872, by the
AMERICAN PUBLISHING COMPANY,
In the office of the Librarian of Congress, at Washington.
This Book is Dedicated
To my own Lawful Pardner,
JOSIAH.
Whom (although I have been his Consort
for a little upwards of 14 years)
I still Love with a
CAST-IRON DEVOTEDNESS.
PREFACE.
Which is to be read, if it haint askin’ too much of the kind hearted reader.
In the first days of our married life, I strained nearly every nerve to help my companion Josiah along and take care of his children by his former consort, the subject of black African slavery also wearin’ on me, and a mortgage of 200 and 50 dollars on the farm. But as we prospered and the mortgage was cleared, and the children were off to school, the black African also bein’ liberated about the same time of the mortgage, then my mind bein’ free from these cares—the great subject of Wimmen’s Rites kept a goarin’ me, and a voice kept a sayin’ inside of me,
“Josiah Allen’s wife, write a book givin’ your views on the great subject of Wimmen’s Rites.” But I hung back in spirit from the idea and says I, to myself, “I never went to school much and don’t know nothin’ about grammer, and I never could spell worth a cent.”
But still that deep voice kept a ’swaiden me—“Josiah Allen’s wife, write a book.”
Says I, “I can’t write a book, I don’t know no underground dungeons, I haint acquainted with no haunted houses, I never see a hero suspended over a abyss by his gallusses, I never beheld a heroine swoon away, I never see a Injun tommy hawked, nor a ghost; I never had any of these advantages; I can’t write a book.”
But still it kept a sayin’ inside of my mind, “Josiah Allen’s wife write a book about your life, as it passes in front of you and Josiah, daily, and your views on Wimmen’s Rites. The great publick wheel is a rollin’ on slowly, drawin’ the Femail Race into liberty; Josiah Allen’s wife, put your shoulder blades to the wheel.”
And so that almost hauntin’ voice inside of me kept a ’swaidin me, and finally I spoke out in a loud clear voice and answered it—
“I will put my shoulder blades to the wheel.”
I well remember the time I said it, for it skairt Josiah almost to death. It was night and we was both settin’ by the fire relapsted into silence and he—not knowin’ the conversation goin’ on inside of my mind, thought I was crazy, and jumped up as if he was shot, and says he, in tremblin’ tones,
“What is the matter Samantha?”
Says I, “Josiah I am goin’ to write a book.”
This skairt him worse than ever—I could see, by his ghastly countenance—and he started off on the run for the camfire bottle.
Says I, in firm but gentle axcents, “camfire can’t stop me Josiah, the book will be wrote.”
He see by my pale but calm countenance, that I was not delirious any, and (by experience) he knows that when my mind is made up, I have got a firm and almost cast iron resolution. He said no more, but he sot down and sithed hevily; finally he spoke out in a despairin’ tone, he is pretty close (but honest),
“Who will read the book Samantha? Remember if you write it you have got to stand the brunt of it yourself—I haint no money to hire folks with to read it.” And again he sithed two or three times. And he hadn’t much more than got through sithein’ when he asked me again in a tone of almost agony—
“Who will read the book Samantha after you write it?”
The same question was fillin’ me with agonizin’ apprehension, but I concealed it and answered with almost marble calm,
“I don’t know Josiah, but I am determined to put my shoulder blades to the wheel and write it.”
Josiah didn’t say no more then, but it wore on him—for that night in the ded of night he spoke out in his sleep in a kind of a wild way,
“Who will read the book?”
I hunched him with my elbo’ to wake him up, and he muttered—“I won’t pay out one cent of my money to hire any body to read it.”
I pitied him, for I was afraid it would end in the Night Mair, and I waked him up, and promised him then and there, that I never would ask him to pay out one cent to hire any body to read it. He has perfect confidence in me and he brightened up and haint never said a word sense against the idea, and that is the way this book come to be wrote.
WHAT IS IN THE BOOK.
| MARRIED TO JOSIAH ALLEN. | |
| Livin’ up to one Idee—Love at First Sight—A Marriage of Love—Why did I Love Josiah?—A Becon that has never gone out—Men can’t stand Flattery—My Present feelin’s towards Josiah—Objections to Widowers—Comparin’ Wives—Josiah not encouraged in it—Rule for Domestic Happiness | 17-20 |
| JOSIAH AND THE CHILDREN. | |
| A hard row for Step-Mothers—Thomas Jefferson and Tirzah Ann—Thomas J. on Foreordination—Tirzah Ann’s sentiments—A Hefty Angel—Makin’ excuses at table—How to make Bad Cake taste good—Our Farm on the Canal—Plenty of Garden Sass—4 Tons to the acre | 21-25 |
| AN UNMARRIED FEMALE. | |
| Betsey Bobbet introduced—While there is Life there is Hope of getting married—Betsey’s personal appearance—Betsey’s Opinions and Views of a Woman’s Speah—Betsey writes Poetry—A Specimen of it—Owed to Josiah—Josiah makes a Confession and gets Rebuked—Betsey Bobbet visits me unexpectedly—Gushin’s of a Tendeh Soul—The Editah with Twins—Weddin’ Affinities | 26-37 |
| HAVIN’ MY PICTURE TOOK. | |
| Down to Jonesville—In Mr. Gansey’s Aunty Room—Preparin’ for a Picture—The Editer of the Augur—Daughters of Bachus and Venus—Haunts of the Graces—“Logical Reveries”—A Poem—My Picture Took | 38-45 |
| OUR SURPRISE PARTIES. | |
| My opinions of Surprises—I am persuaded to go—A Surprise Party Surprised—Not wanted just then—An Upset in the snow—A Peaceful Evening at home—Josiah and I enjoying ourselves Doctorin’—Our Happiness interrupted—Surprised by a Party of 50—Fearful excitement of Josiah—The Enemy retire—The Editer surprised—Betsey writes a Poem upon it | 46-57 |
| A DAY OF TROUBLES. | |
| Sugerin’ Time—Woman’s work—Man’s work—The Editer brings his Twins—There first doin’s—The trouble begins—Betsey Bobbet arrives—I think of John Rogers and have Patience—Betsey and the twins—A Soothin’ Poultice—An Argument with Betsey—I Preach and Practice—Betsey asks Advice and gets It—Betsey reads a Poem—She gets more of my Opinions—Return of the Editer—Concludes to stay to Dinner—Sees Betsey and changes his mind—Grand Tableaux by the whole company | 58-68 |
| THE MINISTER’S BEDQUILT. | |
| Thomas J. believes in water for the Baptists—Reasons for goin’ to Quiltin’s—The Baptist Quiltin’ Party—We dispose of all our neighbors not present—Miss Dobbin, a peacemaker—The Minister’s wife discussed—Betsey Bobbet arrives—She labors under great excitement and overwhelms the party with her mysterious words—Astounding disclosures—Thomas J.’s story to Betsey—The story discussed—Handsome Ministers—Wimmen flingin’ stuns—The Minister arrives—The mystery solved | 69-84 |
| A ALLEGORY ON WIMMEN’S RIGHTS. | |
| A Wimmen’s Rights Meetin’—A Wimmen’s Rights man—Idiots, Lunatics and Wimmen—The Woman sheep-stealer—Wimmen have a right to go to Prison and be Hung—Wimmen in Court—The right to go to the Hop and Cistern Poles—An anti Wimmen’s Rights man—Hired Husbands—Marriage and Slavery—True Marriages—Happy Homes and Children—An Angel calling for Fire Wood | 85-98 |
| AN AXIDENT. | |
| Bothered by Hens—A model Pup Dog—A Fall—Very sick a-bed—“That’s what’s the matter”—What makes Angels—Too much of a thing—Josiah being cheerful—I use Strategim—Betsey visits me and brings her Bed-Quilt—Come to spend the day—All the Family comin’—Keepin’ me quiet and Chirkin’ me up—She flies in terror from my wrath—Blasted Hopes | 99-111 |
| THE JONESVILLE SINGIN’ QUIRE. | |
| Worryin’ about Girls and not about Boys—Wimmen’s Charity for Wimmen—The Prodigal Daughter’s return—What is good for a Boy is good for a Girl—A Spy in the Family—Tirzah Ann’s future Marriage—Thomas J. prefers a back seat—He describes the Quire—We go up to the Rehersal—A United Quire—The Entire Orkusstree—A Artistic Duett—Josiah breaks out in Song—Betsey Remonstrates in Verse | 112-126 |
| MISS SHAKESPEARE’S EARRINGS. | |
| Josiah gives up Singin’—Betsey feelin’ lonesome, visits me—She bemoans her lone state—Betsey is willin’ but the men haint—A smile or a supper—Correctin’ a Husband—Woman as a runnin’ vine—The Elder’s Choice—The Carpet Pedler—Bound for a Trade—Bill Shakespeare’s present—An affectin’ story—Betsey makes a purchase—Thomas J. turns poet—Betsey shows her prize—The Minister’s Wife’s old Jewelry—Betsey sick at heart, goes home | 127-144 |
| A NITE OF TROUBLES. | |
| A Serenade disturbed by Thomas J.—Musical powers of Cats—Josiah on the war-path—Another Serenade—Josiah swears—“Come, oh come with me”—Josiah shows wickedness—A “meloncholly man”—The Serenader “languishes”—An Address by Thomas J.—Relics left on the field | 145-156 |
| 4th OF JULY IN JONESVILLE. | |
| The Professor’s Poem—The Celebration on the field—Professor Aspire Todd—The Professor’s Speech—Old Mr. Bobbet endorses the speaker—The Editer interferes—“Yes! dround the Black Cat”—The next Speaker—An Argument Illustrated—A Wife’s Devotion—Adjournment for Dinner—Toasts given—A Poem by B. B.—At Home Countin’ the Cost—What good has it done? | 157-174 |
| SIMON SLIMPSEY’S MOURNFUL FOREBODIN’S. | |
| Thomas J. discusses the Jews—He expresses his Opinion of Betsey’s Religion—A visit from Simon Slimpsey—His appearance—A Victim of bad luck—“She’ll get round me”—A Poem for Modest Wimmen, by B. B.—Slimpsey don’t want to marry—Reconciled to the loss of his late Consort—Overcome by his fears for the future | 177-187 |
| FREE LOVE LECTURES. | |
| A Beautiful October day, good to pull Beets—Betsey gets Kissed at last—A Professor that was married some—Married Men good for some purposes—A Free Love Song—A war Cry—Professor Gusher’s Visit—Peppermint recommended to the Professor for his troubles—No Yearnin’ for Freedom—Value of Divorce Bills—What I would do if I Yearned—A Mean Business | 188-200 |
| ELDER WESLEY MINKLE’S DONATION. | |
| Betsey visits me and brings her Tattin’—She Mourns over her neglected duties—She decides in future to work and also to prey—The Donation Party—Josiah objects to them—Quotes the ’postle Paul as an Example—How we went and what was Donated—Brother Minkley re-preaches his sermon to me—The Elder tempted—The Grab Bag—The Elder throws the tempter—A new attack of the Enemy—Grab Bags and Huzzies finally overcome—Match Makin’—The Editer arrives—He congratulates himself—Married and Saved—Betsey’s disappointment and wild agony—She seeks relief in Poetry—She desires to be a ghost | 201-221 |
| WIMMEN’S SPEAH. | |
| The new Preacher clung to—A Visit from Betsey—A Discussion on Wimmen’s Speah—Female Delicacy as shown in Waltzin’ with Pirates mebbe—Wimmen as boards—Tattin’ and Paintin’—Dressin’ and Flirtin’—Readin’ Novels—Paul’s Letters—Wimmen’s talk—Itchin’ ears—Betsey’s new Poem on Matrimony—True Marriage—About Divorces—Clingers—Baptist Wimmen Voters—Nater will out: a hen will Scratch—Wimmen won’t be driven—Betsey prefers to walk home and is accommodated | 222-243 |
| A TOWER TO NEW YORK DISCUSSED. | |
| Progress of affairs at Jonesville—Peace and Plenty—Betsey alive but Quiet—H. Greeley and I differ in some things—I propose a Tower—Josiah shows Jealousy—Democrats short of President Stuff—H. G. up for President—Effect of Suspense on me—Josiah consents to the Tower—Preparations—An Overskirt important—Josiah sells the Critter | 244-257 |
| GOVERNED BY PRINCIPLE. | |
| Open preparations for the Tower—Josiah’s White Hat—My Principles induce me also to wear one—Old “Hail the Day” contributes Feathers—On the Political Fence—Betsey also proposes a Tower—At the Depott—Betsey Explains—The 1st Partin’ for 15 years | 258-271 |
| MEETIN’ GRANT AND COLFAX. | |
| The Ticket Master—Folks I met with—Lack of Water Privileges—A Cigar without smoke—The Smilin’ Stranger—Bad use of Eggs—Grant and Colfax—“Ulysses, how do you do”—Betsey reads a Poem to Gen’l Grant—“Let us have Peace”—Betsey overcome by Strategim | 272-287 |
| AT NEW YORK, ASTERS’ES TAVERN. | |
| A Familiar Stranger—“Will you have a bus?”—Betsey’s Hopes—A Vegetable Widow—Procession on Broadway—Miss Asters’es Tavern—The Register—The Elevator—First thoughts in the Mornin’—Breakfast table—An Insult—Store Tea—I leave the Water Runnin’—Betsey Disappointed again | 288-305 |
| MEET DR. MARY WALKER. | |
| Call on Miss Hooker—Engaged and what of it—At Miss Woodhull’s door—Of Doubtful Gender—Miss Dr. Walker—Admittance obtained—A newly Married Man—Two Roman Noses | 306-312 |
| INTERVIEW WITH THEODORE AND VICTORY. | |
| Elizabeth Cady Stanton—H. W. Beecher—Isabella Beecher Hooker—Susan B. Anthony—Theodore Tilton—Victory Woodhull—Male and Female Angels—Feathers on Angel’s Wings—Blind Marriages—Thoroughwert Pukes—Theodore’s Opinions—He Advocates Divorces—To Marry and not to Marry both Solemn—Betsey’s Prayer—Theodore yields | 313-335 |
| A WIMMEN’S RIGHTS LECTURER. | |
| A Visitor—Been on a Lecture Tower—Tyrant man—A Cure for Pantin’ Hearts—A Star of Hope—Dress and Statesmanship—A Dinner and a Desert | 336-347 |
| ALEXANDER’S STORE. | |
| Mr. Cash’es Family—Alexander don’t take Butter, Eggs, Socks, or Barter—A Look at Calicos—Foreign Princes—Dolly Varden and her Acquaintances—A Dreadful Discovery—Betsey’s Poetry in Market | 348-356 |
| A HARROWIN’ OPERATION. | |
| A poor Maniac—A Affectin’ Sight—A Ear for Music—Tirzah Ann a Musician—Operation of the D-David—Farewell to Mrs. Asters’es | 357-364 |
| A VISIT TO HORACE. | |
| First Impressions of him—No Peace for Candidates—Men all Alike—Darwin’s Idees—Horace’s old Letters—His Admissions—Wimmen’s Influence at Washington—The Wrong Foot Forrerd—A Woman, or Patrick Oh Flanegan—The Widder Albert—Queen Bees—Paul’s Opinions—Christ’s Example—Nearly Overcome—Betsey’s Overtures—Horace and I Part | 365-396 |
| A SEA VOYAGE. | |
| Left by the Cars—On the Canal Boat—Terrible Storm—Dangers Surround Us—Betsey Writes a Poem—Sings Sea Odes—The Poem—At Home | 397-405 |
| OLD FRIENDS IN NEW GARMENTS. | |
| Betsey Bobbet Married—Poor Simon Slimpsey—Betsey at Home—Her Last Poem—The End | 406-420 |
| HOME AND JOSIAH. | |
| Bad News—Horace Greeley dead—A Review of my Tower—Victory in Jail—Miss Aster a deception—Beecher slandered—Tilton do. do.—Doubts of Josiah—My Kitchen—I wear a bow on principle—Our supper—Josiah grows sentimental—I don’t discourage him | 421-434 |
PICTURES IN THE BOOK.
| Page. | ||
| 1 | The Pleasant Supper (full page) | (Frontispiece) |
| 2 | I and Josiah | 19 |
| 3 | Refreshments (tail piece) | 20 |
| 4 | Tirzah Ann | 23 |
| 5 | Betsey Bobbet | 27 |
| 6 | Readin’ Poetry | 33 |
| 7 | Looking for a Victim (tail piece) | 37 |
| 8 | Preparin’ for a Picture | 39 |
| 9 | The Picture | 45 |
| 10 | The Surprise Party (full page) | 53 |
| 11 | Delicious (tail piece) | 57 |
| 12 | The Quiltin’ Party (full page) | 77 |
| 13 | Scandalized (tail piece) | 84 |
| 14 | An Accident | 101 |
| 15 | Josiah Bein’ Cheerful | 105 |
| 16 | Keepin’ the Sick Quiet | 109 |
| 17 | A full Quire | 123 |
| 18 | The Ear Ring Pedler (full page) | 141 |
| 19 | Disgust (tail piece) | 144 |
| 20 | The Serenaders (full page) | 150 |
| 21 | Mewsin’ (tail piece) | 156 |
| 22 | The Fourth of July Celebration (full page) | 162 |
| 23 | What happened at the Dinner (full page) | 170 |
| 24 | Countin’ the Cost (full page) | 175 |
| 25 | Simon Slimpsey | 182 |
| 26 | Simon Overwhelmed | 187 |
| 27 | Prof. Gusher | 195 |
| 28 | Livin’ on Gospel | 204 |
| 29 | The Enemy Attacked | 210 |
| 30 | The Elder on the Alert | 213 |
| 31 | Betsey seeks Relief | 219 |
| 32 | A Strong Attachment (tail piece) | 221 |
| 33 | Female Delicacy | 224 |
| 34 | No Time to Vote | 226 |
| 35 | Dreadful Short of Time | 227 |
| 36 | No Time to Study Laws | 228 |
| 37 | A Woman’s Rights (full page) | 234 |
| 38 | Primary Meetings and Results (full page) | 241 |
| 39 | A Victory (tail piece) | 256 |
| 40 | Visit to Jonesville (full page) | 263 |
| 41 | Gone (tail piece) | 271 |
| 42 | The Smilin’ Stranger (full page) | 278 |
| 43 | “Let us have Peace” (full page) | 284 |
| 44 | On the Street | 305 |
| 45 | Hard at Work (full page) | 317 |
| 46 | Betsey’s Prayer | 334 |
| 47 | On a Lecturin’ Tower (full page) | 339 |
| 48 | How Would You Like It? | 342 |
| 49 | Female Statesmanship | 345 |
| 50 | Don’t Take Barter | 350 |
| 51 | Dolly Varden | 354 |
| 52 | A Harrowin’ Scene | 358 |
| 53 | Interview with Horace (full page) | 369 |
| 54 | Fillin’ Woman’s Spear under Difficulties (full page) | 395 |
| 55 | At Home | 402 |
| 56 | Mr. Bobbet Tells News (full page) | 407 |
MARRIED TO JOSIAH ALLEN.
If anybody had told me when I was first born that I would marry to a widower, I should have been mad at ’em. I lived up to this idee quite a number of years, how many, is nobody’s business, that I will contend for. I laughed at the idee of love in my blindness of eye. But the first minute I sot my grey eye onto Josiah Allen I knew my fate. My heart was a pray to feelin’s it had heretofore been a stranger to.
Sez I to myself “Is this love?” I couldn’t answer, I was too agitated.
Josiah told me afterwards that he felt jest exactly the same, only, when his heart wildly put the question to him, “Is it love you feel for Samantha Smith?” he havin’ experience in the same, answered, “Yes, it is love.”
I married Josiah Allen (in mother’s parlor, on the fourteenth day of June, in a bran new silk dress with a long boddis waist) from pure love. Though why I loved him, I know not. I looked at his mild face beamin’ on me from above his black silk stock, which kep’ his head kinder stiff, and asked myself this question, “Why do you love him?” I reckolected then, and I have recalled it to his mind several times sense in our little differences of opinion, which occur in the happiest families—that I had had offers from men, handsomer than him, with more intelect than him, with more riches than him, with less children than him. Why didn’t I love these various men? I knew not. I can only repeat in the immortal and almost deathless lines of the poet, “Love will go where it is sent.”
Yes, Josiah Allen was my fate, and when I laid my light silk glove in his’en (they was almost of a color, a kind of cinnemen broun) before the alter, or that is before Elder Wesley Minkley, I did it with the purest and tenderest emotions of love.
And that love has been like a Becon in our pathway ever sense. Its pure light, though it has sputtered some, and in tryin’ times such as washin’ days and cleanin’ house times has burnt down pretty low,—has never gone out.
When I married him the bald spot on his head wuzn’t much bigger than a new silver dollar. Now the top of his head is as smooth and clean as one of my stun china dinner plates, and if any horse jocky was to try to judge of his age by lookin’ at his teeth, they would be baffled, not but what he has got some teeth, but they are pretty scatterin’. But still that Becon shines, that pure love triumphs over lost teeth and vanished sandy hair. There haint a man on the face of the earth that looks so good to me as Josiah Allen. I don’t tell him this, mind you, 14 years experience of married life has taught me caution. Josiah is as good as they’ll average generally, but no man can’t stand too much flattery, men are naturally vain.
I AND JOSIAH.
As I said in the commencement of this plain and unvarnished history, I had almost a deadly objection to widowers owin’ to their habit of comparin’ their second wives to their first relict, to the disadvantage of the first-named pardner. Josiah tride it with me when we was first married. But I didn’t encourage him in it. He began on several various times, “It seems to me Samantha that Polly Ann used to fry up her meat a little cripsier,” or “It seems as if Polly Ann used to make my collers a little stiffer.” He stopped it before we had been married a year, for I didn’t encourage it in him.
As I mean that this book shall be a Becon light, guidin’ female wimmen, to life, liberty, and the pursuit of true happiness, I would insert right here this word of solem’ warnin’ to my sect situated in the tryin’ place of second consorts, if the relict goes to comparin’ you to his foregone consort, don’t encourage him in it. On this short rule hangs the hope of domestick harmony.
ABOUT JOSIAH AND THE CHILDREN.
But step-mothers have a pretty hard row to hoe, though I don’t complain. I like children, clean children first rate, and I have tried to do my duty by his’en. I have done as well by ’em as I knew how to, and I think a sight of Thomas Jefferson and Tirzah Ann. Tirzah Ann is dreadful sentimental, that is what spiles her mostly. And Thomas Jefferson thinks he knows more than his father, that is his greatest failin’. But take ’em all through, they are full as good as other folks’es children, and I know it. Thomas Jefferson is dreadful big feelin’, he is 17 years old, he wears a stove pipe hat, and is tryin’ to raise a moustache, it is now jest about as long as the fuzz on cotton flannel and most as white. They both go to Jonesville to high school, (we hire a room for ’em to Mother Allen’s, and they board themselves,) but they are to home every Saturday, and then they kinder quarell all day jest as brothers and sisters will. What agravates Thomas J. the worst is to call him “bub,” and Tirzah Ann don’t call him anything else unless she forgets herself.
He seems to think it is manly to have doubts about religeon. I put him through the catechism, and thought he was sound. But he seems to think it is manly to argue about free moral agency, foreordination, and predestination, and his father is jest fool enough to argue with him. Sez he last Saturday,
“Father, if it was settled beyond question six or seven thousand years ago that I was goin’ to be lost what good does it do for me to squirm? and if it was settled that I was goin’ to be saved, how be I goin’ to help myself?” sez he, “I believe we can’t help ourselves, what was meant to happen, will happen.”
Before his father had time to speak—Josiah is a slow spoken man, Tirzah Ann spoke up—
“Bub, if it was settled six or seven thousand years ago that I should take your new jockey club and hair oil, and use ’em all myself, why then I shall.”
“Tirzah Ann,” says he “If you should touch ’em it was foreordained from creation that you would get dreadfully hurt.” But I spoke up then for the first time, says I,
“You see Thomas J. that come to fighting you have moral agency enough—or immoral agency. Now,” says I, “I won’t hear another word from you, you Thomas J. are a young fool, and you Josiah Allen are a old one, now,” says I “go to the barn, for I want to mop.”
Tirzah Ann as I said is dreadful sentimental, I don’t know which side she took it from, though I mistrust that Josiah if he had any encouragement would act spoony. I am not the woman to encourage any kind of foolishness. I remember when we was first engaged, he called me “a little angel.” I jest looked at him calmly and says I,
“I weigh two hundred and 4 pounds,” and he didn’t call me so again.