The following is translated from a Sanscrit work, entitled, "The Ignorant Instructed."
"1. Restrain, O ignorant man, thy desire of wealth, and become a hater of it in body, understanding, and mind; let the riches thou possessest be acquired by thy own good actions: with this gratify thy soul.
"2. The boy so long delights in his play; the youth so long pursues his beloved; the old so long broods over melancholy thoughts, that no man meditates on the supreme Being.
"3. Who is thy wife, and who is thy son? How great and wonderful is this world! Whose thou art, and whence thou comest? Meditate on this, my brother; and again on this.
"4. Be not proud of wealth, and thy attendants, and youth; since time destroys them all, in the twinkling of an eye: check thy attachment to all these illusions, like Moyra; fix thy heart on the foot of Brahma, and thou wilt soon know him.
"5. As a drop of water on the leaf of the lotus, thus, or more slippery, is human life: the company of the virtuous endures here but for a moment; that is the vehicle to bear thee over land and ocean.
"6. To dwell in the mansions of God, at the foot of a tree; to have the ground for a bed, and a hide for a vesture; to renounce all ties of family or connections: who would not receive delight from this abhorrence of the world?
"7. Set not thy affections on foe or friend; on a son or a relation; in war or in peace, bear an equal mind towards all: if thou desiredst it, thou wilt soon be like Vishnu.
"8. Day and night, evening and morn, winter and spring, depart and return: time sports, age passes on; desire and the wind continue unrestrained.
"9. When the body is tottering, the head grey, and the mouth toothless; when the smooth stick trembles in the hand it supports, yet the vessel of covetousness is unemptied.
"10. So soon born, so soon dead; so long lying in thy mother's womb, so great crimes are committed in the world. How then, O man! canst thou live here below with complacency?
"11. There are eight original mountains, and seven seas:—Brahma, Indra, the Sun, and Kudra,—these are permanent; not thou, not I, not this or that people; what, therefore, should occasion our sorrow?
"12. In thee, in me, in every other, Vishnu resides; in vain art thou angry with me, not bearing my reproach: this is perfectly true, all must be esteemed equal; be not proud of a magnificent palace."
When the reader takes a cursory view of the principal doctrines and precepts of the Hindoo Vedas, he may be very apt to imagine that the writer, or writers, have received their information from some other source than the fragments of a broken law, which are still imprinted upon the mind of man, even in a state of nature; and he may not unlikely suppose, that these men had this knowledge—although remote and much corrupted, from our sacred volume; particularly as that part, entitled "The Ignorant Instructed," seems to partake of the style of Solomon in the book of Ecclesiastes. But if you make a more minute investigation, you will see much wanting, and much wrong; and no marvel, for they who are deprived of the great blessing of revelation, or they who despise it, or wish to be wise above what is written, are like people groping in the dark; and will certainly either fall short of the truth, or stumble over it altogether. Those sages of antiquity, to whom the writers seem to refer, were perhaps distinguished for their wisdom; yet by that very wisdom they knew not God in his saving characters. Man may know, to a certain extent, that there is a God; because "the heavens declare his glory, and the firmament sheweth his handy-works." And the apostle says, in his epistle to the Romans, that "the Gentiles, which have not the law, do by nature the things contained in the law, these, having not the law, are a law unto themselves: which shew the work of the law written in their hearts; their conscience also bearing witness, and their thoughts the meanwhile accusing, or else excusing one another." I say, therefore, that by the external and internal aid which man is possessed of, even in a state of nature, he may know by natural religion that there is a God; yet it is impossible that he should come to the knowledge of God in reference to man, as a guilty, depraved, miserable captive, and yet a condemned slave, redeemed by a price of infinite value. No; it never has, it never will, "enter into the heart of man," unassisted by revelation, to come to a saving knowledge of God, "even that knowledge which is eternal life." Let us, therefore, bless God for our Bibles, and willingly give our prayers, and our purses also, "according as God hath prospered us," to send the Gospel to that country "where there is no vision, and where the people are perishing for lack of this knowledge;" for, "How can they believe in him of whom they have not heard? and how can they hear without preachers? and how can they preach except they be sent?" And, when we consider that there are computed to be no less than sixty millions even in India in that lamentable condition, of "being without the knowledge of the true God, and Jesus Christ whom he hath sent," how ought it to stir up our minds to sympathise with their condition, and to give, cheerfully and liberally, "not grudgingly, or of necessity; for the Lord loveth a cheerful giver: and the liberal soul shall be made fat?"
CHAPTER XII.
January 29, 1814.—The detachments of invalids from Punamalee embarked at Madras on board the Marquis Wellington and Princess Charlotte of Wales. The Marquis Wellington, of nine hundred tons, wherein I was, received sixty of these invalids, viz. a party of the Royals, detachments from the 30th, 69th, 80th, 89th, and 25th light dragoons. We had very bad accommodation on board of this ship, having no less than sixteen sick men between each gun, many of whom could do nothing for themselves.
We had a long and very disagreeable passage; but I could have submitted to all the hardships attending the voyage much better, had it not been the dreadful wickedness that prevailed among us, as I shall have occasion to exemplify: but, indeed, this was the principal objection I had all along to the army; and it was the uncommon wickedness of my own regiment which rendered my other troubles less tolerable. But, to return to the children: when we embarked, an exact list of the names of the men was sent along with us; and when my name was called, and the children given in as belonging to me, the question was very naturally asked, Why is one of these children named Fleming, and the other Lee, when you are Serjeant B.? I related to them the story of the children in as few words as possible, all the time dreading lest they should not be permitted to go home with us; but the Lord, who has the "hearts of all men in his hand, and turns them as the rivers of water," gave us favour in the eyes of the Captain, who not only allowed them to go, but in a very short time after we sailed ordered his steward to give us regularly some broken meat after dinner. In this, he not only relieved the fatherless, but us also; for I generally received as much as sufficed both for my wife and myself. This was a great blessing; for, had I been obliged to take the ship's provisions, I certainly would have been at a great loss, considering my weak state of body, and the perpetual thirst to which I was subject. Here I thought I saw the blessing of God attending us for our kindness to the orphans. Here the Lord proved himself to be "a father to the fatherless," in putting it into our hearts to have compassion upon them; and, "when father and mother (in a certain sense) had forsaken them, then the Lord had thus taken them up."
I shall omit the greater part of my journal concerning this voyage; as there is a great variety of matter in which the reader could take no interest; such as our progress, the latitudes the ship reached at different dates—the number of torn sails, and broken yards—the dates of men's deaths, and to what regiments they belonged, &c. and notice a few circumstances which deeply interested me; and these I will state in nearly the same words as those in which they are inserted in my journal, that you may see how they affected me at the time, and to enable you better to understand what was my situation, and what sort of companions I had on board. I have noted down part of their discourse, just as it was uttered; and although you cannot be entertained, but rather shocked at the wickedness of man, and astonished at his depravity, yet the perusal may answer one good purpose; it may, by the blessing of God, render you more thankful that you are not compelled, as I was, to live among such monsters; but that you have a home, be it never so homely, and opportunity given you to read, meditate, and pray; that you have your Sabbaths and your ordinances; and, in a word, "That you can sit under your vines and fig trees, having none to make you afraid."
It was considerably against my comfort, while I was in this ship, that I was almost totally deprived of my wife's company; for a Captain Gordon of our regiment, who wished us both well, recommended her to a lady, whom she attended during the passage, and who paid her very handsomely for her trouble. This lady being in very delicate health, my wife was almost constantly employed in her cabin. I therefore had neither the pleasure of her company, nor much of her assistance in looking after the orphans; so that, I may say, I was both father and mother to them during the voyage.
March 20.—I see the Sabbath is always particularly pitched upon for wickedness of various kinds. I have thought that it was upon account of my taking more particular notice of what was going on, and having a greater desire to get myself composed for reading or serious reflection upon this day, that led me to think it worse employed than any other; but I perceive that I have been mistaken, for I find, upon a more careful examination, that upon the Lord's day these poor creatures seem as it were to think it a kind of unnecessary, as well as a disagreeable restraint put upon them; and that they therefore determine not to submit to it; and are resolved to make it appear that they are such brave fellows that God shall not restrain them; but, by their words, as well as their actions, say, "Our tongue is our own, who is lord over us? surely we will break his bands asunder, and cast away his chords from us."
This morning is introduced by swearing, obscene songs, abusing God's holy ordinances, and trampling upon his laws:—One man says, "Boys, get ready for drill;" another makes answer, "Drill, d——n! drill upon a Sunday;" a third begins an obscene song, painful upon any day to a modest ear; while a fourth says, "Leary, don't you know this is Sunday?" to which he makes answer, "Yes; and that his song was the text." This is certainly too much for me: I will go upon deck, and see if I can find any peace there; but when I went upon deck, there was one of our fine Scotsmen singing the "Blue Bells of Scotland," and the ship-officers pouring out the most horrid oaths against the seamen; while they, in return, were nothing behind, only in a lower tone, from fear of being heard. Oh, where shall I fly from these detestable beings, "whose throat is an open sepulchre, and whose mouth is full of cursing and bitterness!" This is my company upon the Lord's day; this is all I get for a sermon,—even cursing and swearing, obscene songs, and filthy communications. It is dreadful! I think, were there no other torments in hell but such society, there is an infinite cause of gratitude due to that compassionate Saviour, "who has delivered his people from it;" but exercise patience, O my soul! consider that "the Lord knoweth how to deliver the godly out of temptations, as well as to reserve the unjust until the day of judgment, to be punished." I yet hope to have my Sabbaths and my ordinances. I yet hope to assemble with the people of God in his house of prayer, and, from a real experience, to say, "How amiable are thy tabernacles, O Lord of Hosts! my soul longeth, yea, even fainteth, for the courts of the Lord; my heart and my flesh crieth out for the living God," &c.
March 26.—Ten o'clock, P.M. One of the 30th Regiment departed this life. We have had a most alarming night of it, having a breeze right aft, and a sea running mountains high. It was necessary to support the masts with strong hawsers, to keep them from going over board. Upon the upper deck two of the carronades broke loose, with the smith's forge, and one of the pig styes; and upon the gun deck, all was a jumbled mass of confusion: the eighteen pound shot, foul water buckets, tins, tin-pots, salt beef, biscuit; with hats, knapsacks, red coats, and bags, knocking about among the salt water that was shipping down the hatchways. What with the noise of wind and waves above, and the rumbling and tumbling below, it was hardly possible to hear one another speak; and, when you add to all this, our being in pitch darkness21, you may see our situation was by no means enviable, but, on the contrary, very alarming and dangerous; yet these men could not forbear cursing and swearing, and flying in the face of him that could have sent us all to the bottom in a moment, ("and, O the infinite patience and forbearance of that God who did not!") I say, had we at this time gotten a watery grave, many of these hell-hardened creatures must have gone into the presence of their offended judge, blaspheming his holy and reverend name. O what a dreadful state is it to be hardened in such a manner as to be unable to cease from this drudgery even for a single hour when awake, but to "be led captive by Satan at his will!" I have often thought, and it appears to me quite scriptural, that the wicked arrive at a state of far greater perfection in sin, and ripeness for hell in this world, than the people of God do in holiness and meekness for heaven, because they are the willing "servants of sin, and free from righteousness;" but the people of God carry about with them, while here, a "deceitful heart," which often betrays them into that "which their renewed natures abhor," and makes them cry out, "O wretched man!" But it is truly a happy consideration, that when the "earthly house of this tabernacle is dissolved," sin shall give us no more annoyance, for "we shall behold his face in righteousness, and shall be satisfied when we awake with his likeness," and shall inhabit that holy "house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens."
March 27.—The Psalmist says, in the cvii. Psalm, "They that go down to the sea in ships, and do business in the great waters; these see the works of the Lord, and his wonders in the deep, for he commandeth, and raiseth the stormy wind, which lifteth up the waves thereof; they mount up to the heavens, they go down again into the deep; they reel to and fro, and stagger like a drunken man." Surely they that are in such a situation, see much of the Almighty power of that glorious Being, "who holds the wind in his fist, and the waters in the hollow of his hand;" but in this ship, at least, we do not make a right improvement of such striking calls to heavenly contemplation; for we are this day viewing these wonderful displays of omnipotence, but appear to be as insensible to their language as the finny inhabitants of the great deep.
We had prayers read this day upon the quarter deck, which we heard with difficulty; but the sound was scarcely out of our ears, when some of our fine Scotsmen were at their old trade of cursing and swearing, whistling and singing, regardless both of the Lord's day, and the solemnity of his ordinances. I do not say but the men of other countries are fully as wicked; but I think it much more strange of Scotsmen; because, generally speaking, they receive better instruction, and have had a better example set before them in their youth; and, consequently, their sin is attended with many aggravations. But I hope the time will come, when I shall have it in my power to hear the Gospel preached, and be free from such depraved society; for "as the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God! My soul thirsteth for God, for the living God; when shall I come and appear before God?"
April 3.—This is my birth-day; and I find it also to be the Sabbath, by the way it has been introduced. I shall here note down a specimen or two of the discourse I am at present compelled to hear, that if it please the Lord to spare me to get out of this wicked place, where the works of darkness are carried on, and where the prince of darkness dwells, I may look at this, and remember my situation, and bless God for my deliverance. They are now talking of the different situations they are to hold when they go to h—ll. One says, he will be door-keeper; another, that he will be ferryman to row them over the river Styx; a third, that he is too bad for God, and he is sure that the Devil will have nothing to do with him; and, therefore, he must stand fast like the Old Buffs! But now they begin to blaspheme the "great and terrible name of God!" I will not write their awful expressions, but go out of the way a little, and, perhaps their discourse may be less shocking when I return; but I cannot expect much improvement while I am in this ship, because it is quite natural for them to speak in this way. For it is "out of the abundance of their heart that their mouth speaketh;" and they love to speak the language of hell, because it is their native country; and people are generally fond of speaking about the place they belong to.
April 8.—This is Good Friday I understand, by some of our strict religionists refusing to eat flesh. Yes, poor creatures, they are afraid of polluting themselves, although they can vomit up a belly-full of oaths without any remorse; and likewise trample upon every thing that is sacred. They are surely a sad compound of ignorance and superstition, for they do not consider that it is not that which entereth into a man that can defile him; but that which cometh out of him: these are the things which defile the man.
Early in the morning of the 10th of April we came in sight of the long-wished for island of St. Helena. This was a place which had been looked forward to with great eagerness by many in the ship besides myself, although the objects we had in view were, I doubt not, very different; for, so far as I am able to judge of my deceitful heart, the principal motive with me was the hope of seeing the Bengal and China fleets forward, as was generally expected, that we might not be detained waiting for them, but steer straight onward for Europe, and thus, by a prosperous voyage, I might be enabled sooner to leave these wicked scenes, and arrive the sooner at that happy country where the blessed streams of divine ordinances that make glad the city of our God flow in all their abundance. This was what I believe I eagerly coveted; my desires were, above all things, going out towards God, and towards the remembrance of his name; but I have every reason to believe the principal cause why many of my shipmates wished our arrival at St. Helena so intensely, was on account of their not having had it in their power, for a considerable time, to gratify a certain very strong propensity, produced by habit; or, in other words, there had raged amongst us, for some weeks, a famine of tobacco; the men had not counted on so tedious a passage to St. Helena, and, from this fatal mistake, they had not provided themselves with a sufficient stock before they came on board. The condition of many of these poor, miserable men, was indeed fitted to draw pity from all who knew from experience any thing of the amazing force of that desire, and take into account the present impossibility of getting it gratified, while, on the other hand, those who are free men, and not slaves to this lust, might be disposed to treat such people with contempt rather than sympathy, for being brought into such a miserably restless condition for the lack of an insignificant, unsightly leaf, and might think, if they had been in their circumstances, they would have thrown the pipe overboard, and have resolved against ever touching it again in their lives; but this is easier said than done, and this I know was a sacrifice which my unhappy shipmates found entirely too great to be accomplished.—No, to leave off smoking, and to cast away the pipe as a nuisance, was altogether out of the question; for smoke they must, although the appetite by which they were held in bondage compelled them to employ a strange and disgusting substitute for tobacco; for they had, for a number of days, been under the necessity of using a bit of tarry-rope yarn, in the form of oakum, with which they filled their pipes; and at that sickening stuff they would suck away until they were like persons in the rage of a fever, occasioned by the immoderate use of intoxicating liquors. We here see the great need there is for putting in practice the Apostle's resolution, "to beat under the body and keep it in subjection," that we may not be brought under the power of habits and practices, which, if not absolutely sinful in themselves, are almost sure to lead to much evil. This was, however, a great misery from which I was exempted; for although I had used tobacco for a series of years, my propensity to it by this time was completely abated. The reason of my giving up the use of tobacco was this:—Previously to our leaving Punamalee, I went to the doctor in charge of invalids, and told him I was afraid that smoking was unfavourable to my constitution, as it always excited a great palpitation at my breast, and a considerable desire to drink. He told me that if it produced such effects as I had described, it would be much better for me to give it up if I possibly could; but added he was afraid that I would find it rather difficult, as it was a habit not easily overcome. However, I promised to take his advice, and accordingly the moment I entered the barracks, I gave all my sea-stock of pipes and tobacco to one of the men; and by this one act, and the putting in full force the resolution I had formed, I was soon delivered from the desire itself, and was exempted from the dreadful effects of the present famine of that plant; the want of which has caused so much uneasiness to individuals, and such great disturbances and privations in families; and which, in no small degree, drove on our unprincipled shipmates to curse father and mother, the day of their birth, and even that providence that had placed them in circumstances wherein it was impossible for them to obtain it. But although I was not in their state with regard to that tormenting desire, yet the intelligent Christian reader will easily perceive some resemblance between their condition and mine. The expedient to which they had recourse in the absence of tobacco, gave them considerably more pain than pleasure, and rather mocked and tantalized, than gratified their propensity.
In like manner, I may say, that in my attempts to get any spiritual consolation, I had more pain than profit; for when I set myself to read, meditate, or pray, I was sure to meet with some miserable opposition to distract my mind, which, perhaps, proved as great a trial to me as it would have been to one of these persons, at that time, to have had a pipe full of good tobacco snatched from his mouth, when he was in the act of enjoying it after his long abstinence. I use this similitude as I cannot find one upon the whole more suitable to represent my condition. They however had, on our arrival at St. Helena, considerably the advantage of me, for we were hardly well anchored when the idol of their hearts was presented to them; but, alas! it was far otherwise with me; for, to my great mortification, there seemed no great likelihood of my soon enjoying that happiness which "my soul was following hard after;" for, instead of the fleets being forward, there was only one outward-bound Indiaman lying in the bay. I see, therefore, O my soul! that there is nothing for it but patience; and, O Lord, grant that patience may have her perfect work, and let my present state of tribulation work patience, and a hope that will not make ashamed; and yet it is heart-breaking to think that I may be in this ship, and among these men, three months longer; but, O my soul, wait thou upon the Lord in the best way you can; be of good courage and he shall strengthen thine heart. Wait, I say, on the Lord. Commit thy way unto the Lord, trust also in him, and he shall bring it to pass. He shall even give thee the desire of thine heart.
April 20.—I was sent ashore to St. Helena this day, to bring two of our invalids on board. They received a pass until three o'clock yesterday, but did not return until I brought them from the main-guard, being confined for some misbehaviour ashore.
There was one of the 25th light dragoons died this day. We have had several deaths; but I mention this because of some circumstances attending it, as a further illustration of the character of those people amongst whom I dwell. I was amusing myself with a tune upon my violin, to drown the painful sound of that cursing and swearing which abounds, when one of the men interrupted me by saying, "Serjeant B——, don't you know that there is a man dying?" I answered, that "I did not know that he had been so ill." I went, therefore, immediately to see him, and found one of his comrades standing by the side of his hammock, attempting to comfort him in his own way. Another of his comrades, with a horrid curse, said, "Let him alone; let him sleep away, can't you?" But while he was yet speaking, the spirit of the dying man departed; and now they are beginning to enumerate all his good qualities, which, alas for him, were very few. One says he was a —— good fellow; another, he was a bloody good soldier; and a third, he was a h——h obliging fellow; and a fourth wished himself to be d——d if he should be thrown into the sea, for he would collect money in the ship to bury him ashore; while one of the former speakers declares, that he had prayed to God for him, and was sure he must now be happy. "Surely even the tender mercies of the wicked are cruel."—"My soul, come not thou into their secret, into their assembly mine honour be not thou united." I could have wished to have spoken to them about the absurdity, as well as the criminality of such conduct; but I knew that it would have had a bad effect, as it "would be giving that which is holy to dogs, and casting pearls before swine; and, therefore, they would no doubt have trampled them under their feet," and turned upon me with abusive language, and thus have sunk themselves deeper in guilt; so, upon a due consideration, I saw it to be my wisdom to keep "my mouth as with a bridle." But while I am yet writing, their temporary feelings of grief are over, and now they commence singing, and swearing, and arguing. Now from words they are coming to blows: I certainly must interfere, as being a part of my duty; but already the fight is over, and they are becoming more quiet. There is some disturbance upon deck: I will go and find out what is the cause. I have just learned, that the man who was talking so much about his prayers for the person just departed, was taken in the act of throwing himself overboard!—Poor creature, you are rescued from the jaws of death a little longer. But what can I expect from such men? He who infallibly knew "what is in man, and needed not that any should testify unto him", says that "a corrupt tree cannot bring forth good fruit."
April 23.—The dead man was interred this day upon the island; but it certainly would have been much better had he been thrown overboard in the usual manner; for the men, embracing the opportunity of getting ashore, where they could have plenty of liquor, returned at night drunk, and we had truly a dismal ship of it. It was no doubt insufferable at all times to a person who desired good order and quietness; but this night was by far the most dreadful we have experienced, for all the foul and detestable language that the devil and themselves could invent was brought forward; every thing that was horrid in cursing and swearing seemed to have been collected on this occasion; and their obscenity went so far as to expose their fathers and mothers in such a way as was shocking beyond conception. Had they really been begotten and born by the worst men and women that ever lived, it was impossible that they could have been guilty of what their vile children now laid to their charge. "But woe to the man that saith unto his father, what begettest thou? and to the woman, what hast thou brought forth?"
This was not all: One of them openly threatened to have blood for supper! and that lives should go for it before the morning, if the devil was alive, and as sure as God Almighty was ——! but I dare not venture to pollute my paper, or shock my readers, by reciting his expressions, which were only fit for the ears of men already in the place of everlasting torment. I had too much reason to think that my wife and I were the objects of his malice, and I did not know how to act. I knew that to confine him would only make matters worse when he should be released again; for he would then have some shadow of excuse for taking his revenge. His malice, as far as I knew, was entirely unfounded, for we had done him no harm, unless it was by conducting ourselves in a manner somewhat like what we ought to do; or because he saw us taken favourable notice of by the Captain, on account of the children. I therefore thought it would be our duty to remain upon deck, until the heat of his rage, and the heat of the liquor, were a little abated. But I found myself in too weakly a state of body to expose myself so long to the cold damp air, else I would have been inclined to this measure; for I saw, that to go below was attended with danger. After some deliberation, I resolved to commit myself and family to the care of the "keeper of Israel, who neither slumbers nor sleeps;" and we accordingly went to our hammocks, yielding ourselves wholly to the protection of our heavenly Father, in language similar to that of the Psalmist, when exposed to still more imminent dangers: "In thee, O Lord, do I put my trust; let me never be put to confusion. Deliver me in thy righteousness, and cause me to escape; incline thine ear unto me, and save me. Be thou my strong habitation, whereunto I may continually resort: thou hast given commandment to save me; for thou art my rock and my fortress. Deliver me, O my God, out of the hand of the wicked; out of the hand of the unrighteous and cruel man: for thou art my hope, O Lord God: thou art my trust from my youth. O Lord, be thou our hiding place; thou alone can preserve us from trouble;" and, in thy good time, O our God, do thou "compass us about with songs of deliverance."
We therefore lay down and slept quietly, because "the Lord made us to dwell in safety," even in the midst of danger. But after my first sleep, which was sweet, as my manner was, I arose to put the children to rights; and the first thing I laid my hand on, upon the top of my chest, was a razor fixed into a piece of wood, with a ring of lead round the handle; but my astonishment and terror were much increased, when I next found Mr. H., the man who had used the threatening language, lying upon the deck beside the chest, fast asleep. You may be sure I was not a little surprised to find matters in this state; for although I did suspect, and had great reason to suspect, that he intended us mischief, yet I partly persuaded myself, that after he had worn himself out with cursings, and threatenings of slaughter and vengeance, he would have become quiet, and forgotten us; but I now saw it to be otherwise: for here was a tolerably clear proof that he intended to carry his threats into execution against us when asleep; "but he that was for us, was stronger than all that were against us." Blessed be God, who delivered us from this "bloody and deceitful man." I thought it would be the best way to make no noise about it; and therefore threw the razor overboard, without even telling my wife the circumstance at the time, and returned again to my hammock, until gun-fire. But, as a proof that my suspicions were well-founded, I must notice, that this razor never was inquired after. Had it belonged to any other of the men, there is little doubt but that they would have made a noise about it: and I would farther remark, that this man's conduct towards us was henceforth very different from what it had formerly been, being much more friendly during the time we remained in the ship.
May 19.—My mind was this day somewhat relieved, by the arrival of the China and Bengal fleets, as my hopes were excited that we would soon get out of the sight of these dreary rocks, which we had been looking upon, with sorrowful eyes, for these five weeks; but, to my sore mortification, I was again disappointed; for one of the frigates had suffered shipwreck the night before, by running against an Indiaman. The way it took place was this: The signal was given for the fleet to change their course; but the officer of the watch belonging to the merchant ship had either not been paying proper attention, or the hands had not been active enough in wearing their vessel round, and she still being upon her old tack, and the man of war upon the new direction, they ran foul of each other.—The frigate had her boltsprit, main-top, and top-gallant mast, fore-top, and top-gallant mast, carried away, and sprung her mizzen, so that she was altogether unmanageable; she had consequently to be towed into St. Helena by thirty of the boats belonging to the fleet, with her yards, sails, and masts, all hanging overboard; and was really in the worst state ever I had seen a ship before. This was a bad concern both for them and us at the time; for we were anxious to get away, and they no doubt were very sorry for the damage they had received; but, upon account of this, we were all ordered to remain until she was refitted, which was in about a fortnight.
May 27. One of the men belonging to the 30th regiment died, and the last words I heard him utter, were a very common, but very dreadful imprecation; yet some of the survivors are saying, that it is well for him that he is gone, as if a person had no farther account to give; not considering that after death there is a judgment. Oh! what a vast difference there is between the death of the wicked, and that of the righteous; for "the wicked are driven away in their wickedness, but the righteous have hope in their death." It is truly lamentable to see men so hardened; nothing, it would seem, will be a warning to them; for, although this is the Lord's day, and one of their comrades is lying before them lifeless, yet are they playing at cards, whistling and singing, cursing and swearing alternately. O Lord, make me thankful for thy grace, make me thankful that thou hast not left me to the full force of my corruptions, to be carried away with them as with a flood; for what was I better than they? therefore I have nothing to glory of, because I have nothing but what I have received. "Not unto us, O Lord, not unto us, but unto thy name be the glory, for thy mercy and for thy truth's sake."
June 2. This is a happy day for some of us, for we are now moving towards home, and looking forward to see old Scotland once more. These feelings, together with the beautiful prospect of the fleet, consisting of fifty-one large ships, have an exhilarating effect upon the spirits. We had a serjeant of our regiment sent to the bottom this day in the usual form: which is, to sew up the person in his hammock, and to put a large shot or two at the feet to make him sink. When the corpse is prepared, it is carried upon deck, laid upon a grating, and covered with the union jack flag, and, after prayers are read over it in the English form, it is committed to the waves. It does not always sink immediately, for I have seen a dead body thrown over, in this way, move up and down like a bottle cast into a tub, as long as it was within our view, even when we were sailing at a very slow rate.
June 12. We crossed the equinoctial line this day. It is rather singular (as I found by my journal) that we crossed it on that very day seven years ago, on my voyage to India. If it please God, I hope I shall never cross it again.
It is now nineteen weeks since we left Madras. This Sabbath, as usual, is dreadfully profaned. I have been trying to read a little, to comfort myself, but I find it to be impossible, because of the wickedness by which I am surrounded; but lest I should become grievous to the reader by repeating the same things so often, I will, from this time, leave off any farther representations of this kind; and the reader may perhaps, from what I have already stated since I came on board of this ship, say, that I have been exhibiting an unfair and a too melancholy picture of man's depravity, and be apt also to say, or at least think, that if I were possessed of that Christian charity which thinketh no evil, I would hardly have said so much; and conclude, that I am some peevish, melancholy, uncharitable man; but judge not without proper evidence, "lest ye also be judged;" and take care that in judging me thou dost not "condemn thyself." Would to God I had not been able to say so much; had there been but one A. Chevis in the ship, how would it have cheered my spirits and repressed my complaints! for we could have borne one another's burdens: and it would have been far, very far, from me to have hid this "excellent one" from your view; but I have searched here with as anxious care to find a good man, as ever Solomon did to find a good woman, and unless I should be guilty of a lie, must declare, that I have not seen an individual amongst all those with whom I dwell, who does not habitually take the name of God in vain; and certainly you will not call these good men; for this is none of the spots of God's children, whatever "iniquities may prevail against them." I have informed the reader also that I had not the advantage of my wife's company, as she was always engaged in the cabin with her mistress. If he will then take all these circumstances into account, and attentively weigh them with an unprejudiced mind, I have no doubt but that he will be more disposed to pity than condemn me, seeing that I was doomed to six months of this dreadful society, which was worse to me than all my other hardships.
July 18. We have been becalmed for this fortnight past, and attended by a shark nearly all that time. It is rather singular, that I have always observed, both in my voyage to and from India, that we had always a death when this happened. I can give no rational account of this phenomenon, unless it be that the acute smell of this animal enables him to find out when there is sickness in a ship, and induces him to follow it in the hope of prey, when a body is thrown overboard. We have had a corpse thrown over this day, and will therefore soon be clear of our visitor. It is surprising that the shark can do such execution, if we consider the slenderness of his teeth, which resemble that of a saw, or rather a trap for catching rats; and they are generally provided with a double row of these, solid all round the jaw; but I have seen them nearly as thin as the main spring of a watch; yet he can cut through even bones with the utmost ease.
I shall give you an instance in proof of this assertion, which is the following:—The soldiers in India generally keep boys to carry their victuals, when on guard, or wash a pair of trowsers, or a shirt for them, if they run short before the washerman comes with their clothes: and when we lay in Madras, (where by the bye we could get young sharks to buy in the bazaar, as we do speldings in this country, at a halfpenny each,) one of these boys, after having washed his master's clothes, went into the sea to bathe, while they were drying; and, being a good swimmer, he ventured beyond the surf, when a shark perceiving him, whipt off his leg, in half the time one of our anatomists would have done it with his saw. But this is not the most affecting part of the story; for although the poor little fellow had lost his leg, and with great difficulty reached the shore, leaving the water, as he came along, tinged with blood, he, in his dying moments, told his comrades who were upon the beach with him, where his master's clothes were lying, and desired that they would take them safe to the barracks: medical assistance was immediately called, but before the surgeon could reach the place, his spirit was fled. It is remarkable that these fish, when they are in pursuit of their prey, admit their young, in the same manner as some species of the serpent do, into a cavity of their belly, which God, in his wonder-working providence, has provided for their reception. In proof hereof, when we were going to India, one of the sailors, having out his shark line at the stern of the vessel, which is generally done when they observe this fish following, he hooked a very large one, and hauled it into the ship, by a tackle from the end of the main-yard; and after having the fish fairly on board, one of the sailors took a large hatchet, with which he cut off its head; and to the no small alarm of the bare-footed soldiers, who made the best of their way off in all directions, out sprung no less than eleven young sharks, tumbling and gaping about the deck, to the great danger of all feet and toes within their reach. Some of these young ones were three feet long. The sailors very frequently eat this fish, on account of its being fresh; and this one was accordingly cut into junks, (as they call it,) and divided among the crew. I tasted, through curiosity, a little bit of it, which had a very strong disagreeable flavour; but the very idea of them devouring human flesh, is enough to make one shudder, although their taste should excel that of the finest turtle. I would further observe, that the shark does not give his teeth much trouble in chewing his food, for we took another the same day, which had a six pound piece of beef in his belly, not the least macerated; and the tally22 of the mess to which the beef belonged, still tied to it with a string.
July 24.—We saw one of the Western Islands upon our starboard bow—we saw also two strange sail, supposed to be American privateers; our frigates and gun brigs went in chace immediately, but they have not returned to the fleet as yet. We have a very stiff breeze, and a heavy sea, and have shipped a wave just now which has swept some of the men off the hatchway.
July 29.—We have had a heavy gale these three days and nights, but the worst of it is, the wind is almost right a-head; and we consequently have made very little way. The children have been in their hammock all that time without light, except when the men occasionally lighted a bit of fat pork (as I said they sometimes did) to eat their victuals; and when I took them upon deck they were like new started hares, and jumped and ran about until I was obliged to restrain them from fear of their driving themselves against the sides of the ship.
Aug. 4.—A large boat is come along side of us from Torbay upon chance, to take away certain goods from the passengers. I spoke to one of the boatmen, who told me that we are about thirty miles from land, and two of the sailors have been sent to the mast head to look out for it; we have also received our pilot, and are running about nine knots an hour. Truly this is delightful; and I trust, that he who has preserved us hitherto, will bring us in "safety into the desired haven."
Aug. 11.—We have had considerable difficulty in getting up the river, on account of the wind being contrary; but we are now safe moored, and they are beginning to take out the guns to lighten her, that they may be able to get her up to Blackwall. There is an order just come for us to go ashore to-morrow. Joyful news, to think of getting out of this miserably wicked place! how it enlivens my spirits besides to view the fields of corn, and the cattle feeding by the sides of the river, particularly when it is, I may say, my native country! O, what time brings about; for I have often almost despaired of ever seeing it; and, although I am now a poor feeble creature, hardly able to crawl, yet as Solomon says, "while we are joined to all the living there is hope; for a living dog is better than a dead lion;" and I bless God, that I am "the living, the living to praise him," while hundreds of my comrades are rotting upon a foreign shore.
Aug. 12.—We got all safe ashore at Chelsea, which place was completely crowded with invalids from the Continent, besides those from India; they were in all about four thousand. The Tower and Chelsea being full, some hundreds were billeted in the country. This promised very badly with regard to pension, and upon the 14th of September, 1814, the day on which I passed, there were several hundreds who did not get a penny. I, however, received ninepence, which, after all, was but a small recompense for all my hardships, and their bad effects upon my constitution, and a service of fourteen years in the 26th, and Royals together; but had it not been that I was so long Serjeant and Fife-Major of the latter regiment, I would not have received more than sixpence. I desire to be thankful, however, for this allowance; although it be small, it is always something to look to.
CHAPTER XIII.
I shall not trouble the reader with a particular account of the various occurrences that came under my notice while we lay at Chelsea, which was about five weeks: such as, the great difficulty we had in obtaining a lodging; the many wonderful things to be seen about London; the behaviour of the invalids; to what regiments they belonged, &c. But there is one thing which I think it would certainly be wrong to omit, because it is illustrative of the loving-kindness of the Lord, whose glory we ought to have in view in all that we do.
While I was in this place I found one of my brothers working at Vauxhall bridge, who was one of Mr. Fletcher of the Secession's hearers. My wife and I, therefore, upon the first sabbath after we went ashore, accompanied him to Miles's Lane Chapel, and heard a Mr. M'Donald, I think, who was officiating in the absence of Mr. F. at this time in Scotland. Upon entering the meeting house, a mixture of unutterable reverence and joy thrilled through my soul, while I thought of the solemnity of the place, and looked back on the long dreary period during which I had been deprived of an opportunity of "assembling with the people of God in his house of prayer." But how was I struck with adoring wonder, when the preacher gave out the 63d psalm,
which he prefaced in a very pathetic manner; and during the whole of the explanation, set forth the Psalmist's condition, so exactly applicable to the feelings and circumstances of my past life, particularly in India and in my voyage home; and the next psalm which he gave out was the 122d,
which was equally applicable to my now happy situation. I found it too much for my feelings, for I thought my heart would have burst with alternate joy and sorrow. Joy, when I saw in this the answer of many a longing desire, "and my prayers returned into mine own bosom;" and sorrow, because of the many unbelieving and ungrateful thoughts I had formerly entertained, that "I should never again see the Lord, even the Lord, in the land of the living," until a flood of concealed tears gave me some relief; and a sweet believing tranquillity took the place of these conflicting passions. The whole of the services of the day corresponded with its commencement, and all had a tendency to refresh and satisfy my thirsty soul, more than the vernal showers of the east could cheer and invigorate the face of languishing nature; and I do trust they "did not return to the Lord void, but prospered in that thing whereunto they were sent." Surely the Psalmist's choice of spending his time was mine, for I certainly esteemed "this day better than a thousand," and found these comforts sweeter to my soul than honey to my mouth. Surely on this happy day, if ever in my life, I found out in a great measure the truth and emphasis of these gracious words: "Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they shall be filled." But, I trust, my dear reader, you will excuse me, when I tell you that I am unable to describe my emotions at this time. However, if you are one of those persons spoken of by the apostle, who "have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil," you can better enter into my state than I am able to inform you; although you cannot be expected to feel to the same degree as I have felt, unless you had suffered, to the same extent, as I have suffered. But if you are really one "of Christ's scholars, and taught by his Holy Spirit, that Spirit dwells in you," and "he will teach you in some measure his own language," and you will know something of what is meant by "the soul being satisfied with marrow and fatness," of the Lord lifting upon his people "the light of his countenance," of "causing his face to shine upon them;" and of "his loving kindness being better than life."—You will know something of "the joy of the Lord," the "joy of God's salvation," and "the joy of the Holy Ghost," "of being filled with all joy and peace in believing;" &c. but if these, and the like passages, be to you an unknown tongue, or a language which you do not understand, I am afraid that you have the alphabet of Christianity to learn yet, and "have need that one teach you over again, which be the first principles of the oracles of God; and are indeed among such as have need of milk, and not of strong meat." All that I shall say more upon this subject is, that I found this place to be a Bethel, for surely the Lord was there, for it was to me none other than the house of God, surely it was to me the very gate of heaven.—O taste, and ye shall find also that the Lord is good; and that the man is truly blessed which trusteth in him.
You may be sure we did not remain long in Chelsea, after I passed the board; for I went immediately to Millar's wharf, and found there a vessel bound for Leith. I therefore took our passage in the steerage; but I had cause afterwards to repent that I did not take a cabin passage, for the steerage was so completely stowed with baggage, that all the passengers were obliged to lie upon deck the whole way; this was a mischievous bath, for us particularly, who had just come from India, considering that it was in the month of September.
On landing at Leith we put our baggage into a cart, and went off to Pennycuick immediately, where we were joyfully received; we remained there with our friends a few days, after having been nearly eleven years absent, and having only seen them once during that period, when I visited them, on furlough, from Ireland.
After we had recruited ourselves, we were anxious to get the children settled before I thought of settling myself; and we accordingly went with them to Edinburgh, and took tickets on the outside of the Glasgow coach. When we arrived at that place, we immediately went to Anderston, and found out the dwelling of William Stevenson, the grandfather, on the mother's side, of Serjeant Lee's child. The old folks received us with great expressions of gratitude, on account of what we had done for the poor, destitute orphans of their deceased daughter. The neighbours also came flocking in, to behold the children who were born in such a far distant land; and expressed their astonishment at the way which the providence of God had taken to bring them home, considering that we were in no wise related to any of them. They wrote off to Serjeant Fleming's father, who lived at Kilmarnock, and he no sooner received the intelligence, than he came off to Anderston, accompanied by one of his sons, and when we were all assembled, we spent a very happy day together.
After remaining some time in their company, giving and receiving information, we bethought ourselves of returning home. So Mr. Fleming took the child of his deceased son, and the little girl of the deceased Serjeant Lee remained in Anderston: but Mr. Stevenson, and his wife being old, and apparently very infirm, we told them, that if it was the will of God to remove either of them by death, and in consequence thereof the child should become burdensome to the survivor, or might herself be neglected, that we would still consider ourselves as parents to the child, and do for her in every respect as if she were our own; and requested them, moreover, to be sure to keep up a correspondence with us by letters.
It was not many months after this when I received the news of the old man's death. According to promise, I therefore went from Peebles to Anderston, to bring home the little girl, who still recollected me, calling me daddy when ever I entered the house, and attempted to wash my feet, which were very sore by marching a good way that morning. I stopped a day to rest myself, and during that time she would not allow me to be out of her sight, neither could any of her uncles or aunts induce her to go with them anywhere unless I desired her. I thought it would be my best plan, both for expedition and on account of the child, to take a ticket in the coach: so I acted accordingly. When we reached Edinburgh, I went to a house, head of the Candlemaker Row, and found there a return-chaise for Peebles, at which I was very happy, and we set off as soon as the driver was ready, as I was anxious to get home. We arrived safe at Peebles about eleven o'clock at night; but, when I knocked at the door, which my wife had just shut, preparing for bed, she could hardly believe that I could have so soon returned. But, when she saw her poor little dear, as she called her, she took her in her arms, and embraced her with all the symptoms of an affectionate mother who had been robbed of her innocent, that was now again restored to her arms, her bosom, and her affections.
Now, my dear reader, this is what became of the orphans, and who knows but God, whose "way is in the sea, and whose path is in the great waters;" may intend this poor little Indian orphan to sooth our dying bed, and to be our greatest earthly friend, when a true friend is valuable.—While we were in Peebles, I tried my old occupation of working at the loom; but I was compelled to leave it off, as this employment would not agree with my constitution, being much afflicted with a pain in the breast, and a giddiness in my head; which were truly distressing.
We had not lived long in Peebles after the child came to us, when I received a letter directed, Serjeant B——, Peebles, late of the Royal Scots. When I looked at the back of the letter, I could not understand who was the writer, yet I thought the hand familiar; but when I opened it, to my great astonishment I found it to be from Colonel Stewart, saying that he had just learned that I was returned from India in a very bad state of health, which he was very sorry for; and said, moreover, that if he could be of any service in procuring any situation suitable for me, he would be happy to do it, and likewise expressed a desire to see me. I accordingly went to his country seat near Stirling, where he had just gone; and, after many kind inquiries upon both sides, he asked me if I could point out any thing that he or his interest could do for me. I expressed my gratitude in the best way I could for his kind offer, but told him that I could think of nothing but a drum-major's situation in a local militia corps, though at the same time I said, that I was afraid that it would be difficult to be obtained; but it did not appear so to him, and he hoped that he would soon be able to procure it. He desired me to remain all night, and gave his servants particular charge to pay all possible attention to my comfort.
I had not returned to Peebles above three weeks, when I received a letter from this kind friend, informing me that he had obtained a situation for me in the Greenock Local Militia; and I accordingly went and took the charge of that corps the following week: but there is nothing in this world to be depended on; for I had not enjoyed my new situation, in which I received half-a-guinea weekly, above six months, when an order came for the staffs of these regiments to be broke. But Colonel Stewart again voluntarily befriended me, for he recommended me, previous to this taking place, to the notice of his brother, at this time bailie of Greenock, who fell upon a plan for assisting me. The gentlemen of Greenock had often expressed a wish for a billiard-table, that they might amuse themselves at a vacant hour; and Mr. Stewart having a room suitable for the purpose, agreed to fit it up as a billiard-room, if I would take the situation of marker to the billiard-table. I told him I would be very happy to do it, but that it was an affair with which I was entirely unacquainted; but he said that it was very easily learned, and that I would soon be master of the business. I accordingly took the charge of this room; for which I received a very equitable reward.
I had not been long in my new situation, when I understood my duty pretty well; and observing that I would have much spare time, I wished to turn it to some good account. I therefore made inquiry at a very intelligent acquaintance, if he could inform me where I could get a book that contained portions of Scripture, arranged under different heads, as I wished to write them out, and thereby get better acquainted with the contents of my Bible: and by this employment might at once be both amused and instructed. So he recommended Dr. Chalmers's "Scripture References," telling me, that it was the very kind of book I was seeking. I went and procured it immediately; and I did not let much time pass, until I commenced writing out, in full, the passages referred to by the Doctor; but when I came to that head, "Duties under Affliction," how agreeably was I surprised, when I found, under it, that blessed passage which gave me so much relief and comfort in the Prince of Wales' Island, "Call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver thee: and thou shalt glorify me."
The reader may be rather surprised that I never before this hour had seen these precious words, and may be apt to draw, not unfairly, this conclusion, that "if I had read my Bible much, I certainly would have seen this delightful promise before now." I do freely acknowledge that I have not read my Bible with that attention and frequency I might have done, and ought to have done, though I have, upon the whole, endeavoured to make myself acquainted with it by frequent reading; but, by not going regularly through it, I had never happened to meet with the above passage, although it was now fully ten years since it was a mean, in the hand of the spirit which dictated it, of "turning for me my mourning into dancing, and girding me with gladness." After I was finished, therefore, with the scripture references, and not being yet tired with this pleasant labour, I added other three parts to my intended Pocket Companion, viz. a Selection of Passages from Mr. Henry's Method for Prayer; an Explanation of the Principal Religious Terms from Mr. Brown's Dictionary of the Bible; and Extracts from Mr. M'Ewan's Essays. When these four parts were finished, I had the whole bound together into a pretty sizeable volume, the substance of which I intended to commit to memory. But I had not finished this work many days, when Mr. W——, our minister, came to see us, as he frequently did, and asked me what I had been doing this long time, that I had never given him a call. I told him how I had been employed. He expressed a desire to see what I had been writing, and I showed him the book. After he had examined it a little, he asked me if I would allow him to peruse it for a few days? I said, he was perfectly welcome to do that. When he had done so, he came back to our house with the book, and expressed his satisfaction with regard to the usefulness and conciseness of the compilation; and told me that it was an excellent work, (if I could think of publishing it,) for the instruction of servants, seamen, and even the greater part of the labouring classes, who had little time to peruse, or money to purchase books, where those useful subjects were set forth more at large, and above all, that it might be unspeakably useful to assist or to prepare people who were lately, or about to be married, in their family devotions and instructions. I at first could upon no account think of consenting to his request; but I told him that I would consider about it a few days. He returned in a short time afterwards to know my determination. I said that I would be very happy to publish the book, if I really thought it would be useful to my fellow men, particularly as I had as much money by me as would pay for printing a few hundred copies; but I said also, that I was ashamed of my name being affixed to a printed book, even though it was a compilation. This objection, however, he obviated, by stating, that it might be published without a name; and, in short, having brought matters thus far, he went and made a bargain with a printer; and after the impression was thrown off, he recommended it very warmly from the pulpit, and not only he, but two other clergymen, also recommended it in strong language, particularly to servants and seamen. In consequence of all this, I either sold or gave away the whole impression in little more than a twelvemonth.
We remained in Greenock until the year 1820, at which time both duty and inclination seemed to call us to Edinburgh, on account of my old parents, who resided there, and were, at this period, in a very poor state of health; that we might try if we could do any thing for the comfort of them who could now scarcely do any thing for themselves; while their other children were unable to afford them much relief, on account of their numerous families. Another weighty motive for my removal was, that I would there have an opportunity of consulting a very able physician, with whom I was well acquainted, as he had been assistant surgeon23 in our regiment all the time I was in India, whom I knew to understand perfectly my constitution, and the many and severe attacks it had sustained, from different disorders, while in that country, which had rendered a once healthy bodily frame, now almost totally useless; for I had enjoyed a very indifferent state of health ever since my sore illness in Trichinopoly. The person to whom I allude was Dr. B——, a gentleman whose indefatigable and successful labours, in ascertaining the nature and cure of the diseases of hot climates, for the benefit of the men under his charge, are well known to every man in the regiment.
I therefore left Greenock at the Whitsunday term, and finding myself still in the same delicate state, I went to Dr. B——, who received me with great expressions of kindness. He inquired very particularly into every circumstance with regard to my health since I left India; which gave me an opportunity of relating the various modes of treatment which had been prescribed to me by different medical men to whom I had applied without finding any permanent benefit. After having satisfied all his inquiries as well as I could, he said that he was afraid that their mode of treatment was calculated rather to do harm than good, but that he would call at my lodgings in a day or two. He accordingly came most punctually; and, after having made all due inquiry for ascertaining the true nature of my complaint, he told me that my liver was in a very bad state, and that he would strongly recommend me to submit to a course of mercury, &c. With this proposal I readily complied; and, having undergone that course of treatment which his superior skill thought proper to administer, I derived unspeakable benefit from it. A short time after I was able to go abroad with safety, I went to his house, at his desire, and called upon him, to let him know how well I was coming on. I was also, no doubt, anxious by this time to know the amount of his bill, which, I thought must be considerable, when I took into the account his own personal attendance, for about nine weeks; but how was my astonishment excited, when he told me that, as I was an old fellow-traveller, and brother soldier, the amount of my bill was nothing; but that I was perfectly welcome to all that he had done for me; and, moreover, that he would be very happy to serve me, or my family, at any time when medical attendance was necessary.
I confess I am unable, my dear reader, to express, in words, a proper sense of this gentleman's kindness; I therefore think it the best way of manifesting my gratitude, by being silent, and desiring that the generous reader would place himself, as it were, in my situation, and try what he would think or feel upon such an occasion: but this I will say, that I have, since the time referred to, enjoyed a better state of health than ever I have had these nine years past, and I trust I will carry the grateful remembrance of Dr. B.'s beneficial benevolence to my last hour.
There is just one other circumstance that I will mention, as it is rather singular, and then come to a conclusion. After I settled in Edinburgh, there was a meeting of our family, consisting of eight children, all being present on this occasion but one, who was a mason in England. Now it is somewhat remarkable, that of these now present, four had been but a little time before scattered very widely all over the world. My oldest brother at that time belonged to the artillery, and was in America; I myself, who am next in the order of time, was in India; the third was in Spain with the 94th, having been engaged in all the actions to which that gallant regiment was called; the last and youngest of the four, was in Ireland, with the Renfrewshire militia; yet, by the kind providence of God, our aged parents saw us now all under one roof; all out of the army, each rewarded according to his various services, and all settled in a way of doing, in or near Edinburgh, each of us according to our ability at this time engaging to add to their future comfort, which you cannot doubt made them a happy couple, and you need not wonder at them adopting language similar to that of the ancient and venerable Patriarch, when his son Joseph was restored to his embraces in safety, after he had long lost all hope of his being in life: "Now Lord let us die in peace, since we have seen our children's faces, and because that they are yet alive."
My wife has still retained an excellent state of health, notwithstanding all her former hard marches, being blessed with one of the best constitutions I have ever known any woman possessed of; and the poor little invalid that cost her so much nursing, is also a very fine healthy child. The other child, who went to Kilmarnock, we have heard lately is also in perfect good health. My wife's daughter, who came to us in Greenock, is also quite well, and still forms a part of our little family. "Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits." And when I consider all the way that the Lord our God has led us, for so many years in the wilderness, I am here disposed, with Jacob, to set up my monument of gratitude with this inscription—
"HITHERTO THE LORD HATH HELPED US."