Then she wheeled on me, like lightning. (I heard the men's footsteps begin to go downstairs.)
"Now you will explain, if you please—" she began, with a furious kind of bitterness.
"My maid," said I, "that kind of talk will not do with me"—(for at her tone my anger blazed up higher even than hers). "It is I who have to ask Why and How?"
"How dare you—" she began.
I went up without more ado, and took her by the shoulders. Never in all the time I had known her, had the thought ever come to me, that one day I might treat her so. She struggled violently, and seemed on the point of crying out. Then she bit her lip; but there was no yielding in me; and I compelled her backwards to a chair.
"You will sit there," I said. "And I shall stand. I will have no nonsense at all."
She looked at me, I thought, with more hate than I had ever seen in human eyes; glaring up at me with scorn and anger and resentment all mingled.
"Yes—you can bully maids finely—" she said. "You can come and cringe for their protection first—"
I laughed, very short and harsh.
"That manner is of no good at all—" I said. "You will answer my questions. How did you come here? How long have you been here?"
She said nothing; but continued to look at me. Then again my anger rose like a wave.
"Do you think to stare me down?" I said. "If you will not answer me,
I'll begone to those who will."
"You dare not!"
"Dare not! Do you think to frighten me?—Dolly, my dear, I am not in the mood to argue. Will you tell me how you came here, and how long ago? I must have an answer before I go."
For an instant she was silent.
"Will you go straight home again if I tell you?"
"Yes—I will promise that," said I—for now that I had seen her with my own eyes most of what I desired was done. The rest could wait twelve hours.
"Well, then," she said, "I have been here a month; and my father put me here."
"Your father!"
"Yes, my father. Have you anything to say against him?"
"No: I will say it to him."
I wheeled about to go to the door.
"You have done enough mischief then, you think!" sneered Dolly.
I turned about again.
"Mischief!"
"Why, you have ruined my name," said Dolly, with the savage look in her eyes still there. "But you did not think of that! You thought only of yourself. The whole palace will know to-morrow that you beat down the porter to force your way in. And it will not lose in the telling."
I had nothing to say to that. It was true enough, and the very kind of talk with which the Court continually diverted itself. But I would not show my dismay. Indeed the very thought of any trouble to her had no more occurred to my mind than the consequences to a charging bull.
"We will see about that," I said, "when I speak with His Majesty."
Dolly laughed again, but without merriment.
"Oh! you will do this and that, no doubt," she said. "And when shall you see His Majesty?"
I took out my watch.
"It is nearly nine," I said. "I shall see His Majesty in thirteen hours.
You had best be packing your valises. We shall ride at noon."
I waited no more to hear her laugh, as she did again; but went out and down the staircase. The porter's chamber had its door half open: I pushed the door and went in. The fellow started up.
"Here is a guinea," said I, throwing one upon the table; "and my apologies. But 'twas you that began it!"
Then I turned and went out.
As I came down the steps into the little lamplit way, a man was coming swiftly up it from the direction of the court, with one of the guards behind him. I stopped short, thinking I was to be arrested. But it was the page.
"Good God!" he said. "You have done finely indeed!"
I was still all shaking; and I simulated anger without any difficulty.
"And whose fault is that?" said I, as if in a fury. "Do you think—"
"And His Majesty may come by at any instant!" he said.
"Why; that is what I wish. In any case I must see him at ten o'clock to-morrow."
"You are mad!" he said. "You had best begone to the country before dawn: and even that will not save you." He looked over his shoulder at the young man who had fetched him, and who now stood waiting.
"Save me! What have I done? I have but been to visit my cousin." (I said this very loud, that the guard might hear.)
Again Mr. Chiffinch looked over his shoulder, and back again. I could see the shine of lanterns where others waited behind. We were just outside the King's lodging.
"Well, sir," he said. "But you will go now, will you not?"
"Why, yes," I said. "And I will be with you at half-past nine to-morrow."
He beckoned the young soldier up.
"See this gentleman to the gate," he said. "He will find his way home, after that."
CHAPTER III
I spent a very heavy evening before I went to bed; and when I was there I could not sleep; for it appeared to me that I had made a great fool of myself, having injured my own prospects and done no good to anyone. I understood perfectly that I had acted in an unpardonable manner; for Her Majesty's Maids of Honour were kept, or were supposed to be kept, in very great seclusion at home, as if they were Vestal virgins—which was indeed a very great supposition. Tale after tale came back to my mind of those Maids in the past—of Mademoiselle de la Garde herself, of Miss Stewart, Miss Hyde, Miss Hamilton, and others like them—some of whom were indeed good, but had the greatest difficulty in remaining so; for the Court of Charles was a terrible place for virtue. It was astonishing to me that the horror of the place had not before this affected me; but it is always so. We are very philosophical, always, over the wrongs that do not touch ourselves.
As to how my Cousin Dolly came to be in such a place, I began to think that I understood. It must all have dated from that unhappy visit of the Duke of Monmouth to Hare Street; my Cousin Tom must have followed up that strange introduction, and the affair must have been worked through Her Grace of Portsmouth. I think I could have taken my Cousin Tom by the throat, and choked him, as I thought of this.
Meantime I had no idea as to what I should do the next day—except, indeed, see His Majesty, and say, perhaps, one tenth of what I felt. I had told Dolly we should ride at noon next day; I was beginning to wonder whether this prediction would be fulfilled. Yet, though I had begun to consider myself more than in the first flush, I still felt my anger rise in me like a tide whenever I regarded the bare facts. But mere anger would never do; and I set myself to drive it down. Besides, it would be there, I knew, and ready, if I should need it on the next day.
* * * * *
When I arrived at Mr. Chiffinch's the next morning, I found him in a very grave mood. He did not rise as I came in, but nodded to me, only.
"Sit down, Mr. Mallock," said he. "This is a very serious affair."
"So I think," I said.
He waved that away.
"His Majesty hath heard every word of it, with embellishments. He is very angry indeed. Nothing but what you have done for him lately could have saved you; and even now I do not know—"
"Man," I said, "do not let us leave such talk as this. It is not I who am in question—"
"I think you will find that it is," he answered me, with a quick look.
I strove to be patient, and, even more, to appear so.
"Well," I said, "what have I done? I am come back from France: I hear my cousin is here; I go to see her; a fellow at the door is impertinent, and I chastise him for it. Then I go upstairs to my cousin's parlour—"
"That is the point," he interrupted. "It is not your cousin's. It is the lodging of the Maids of Honour."
Yes: he had me there. That was my weak point. But I would not let him see that.
"How was I to understand that distinction? I knocked at the door as peaceably as any man could."
"And after that," he said, smiling a little grimly, "after that, your cousinly affection blinded you."
"Well, that will do," I said.
He smiled again.
"Well; that is your case," he observed. "We will see how His Majesty regards it. For I must tell you, Mr. Mallock, that for five minutes last night it was touch and go whether you were not to be arrested. And I will tell you this too, that if you had not come this morning, you would have been brought."
"As bad as that?" I said, laughing. (But I must confess that his gravity dismayed me a little.)
"As bad as that," he said. "You must go to His Majesty at ten."
"As I arranged," I said.
"As His Majesty arranged," said Mr. Chiffinch, rising: "and it is close upon the time."
And then he added, with the utmost gravity.
"If there is one thing His Sacred Majesty is touchy upon, it is the reputation of the ladies of the Court. I would remember that, sir, if I were you."
I observed a while ago that Pride is a good weapon if one has not Humility. So is Anger a good weapon, if one has not Patience; and I do not mean simulated Anger, but the passion itself, held in a leash, like a dog, and loosed when the time comes. Now, so great was my feeling for His Majesty, and that not only of an honest loyalty, but of a real kind of respect that I had for his person and his parts—a real fear of the very great strength of will that lay beneath his weakness—that I understood that, unless my anger was fairly near the surface, I should be beaten down when I came into his presence. So, as we went together towards his lodgings, I looked to see that my anger was there, patted it on the head so to say, and called it Good Dog: and was relieved to hear it growl softly in answer.
Plainly we were expected; because the two guards at the door stood aside as soon as they saw us, and one of them called out something to a man above. There were two more at the door itself; and we went in.
As we came in at the door of the private closet, having had no answer to our knock, His Majesty came in at the other with two dogs at his heels. He paid no attention to me at all, and barely nodded at my companion. Then he sat down to his table, and began to write; leaving us standing there like a pair of schoolboys.
Again I stroked the head of my anger. I could see the King was very seriously displeased; and that unless I could keep myself determined, he would have the best of the interview; and that I was resolved he should not have.
Suddenly he spoke, still writing.
"You can go, Chiffinch," said he. "Come back in half an hour."
He looked up for a flash and nodded; and I thought, God knows why, that he had in mind the guards outside, and that they should be within call. I knew precisely what my legal offence would be—that of brawling within the precincts of the palace; and the penalties of this I did not care to think about; for I was not sure enough what they were.
When the door closed behind Mr. Chiffinch I felt more alone than ever. I regarded the King's dark face, turned down upon his paper; his dusky ringed hand with the lace turned back; the blue-gemmed quill that he used, his great plumed hat. I looked now and again, discreetly, round the room, at the gorgeous carvings, the tall presses, the innumerable clocks, the brightly polished windows with the river flowing beneath. I felt very little and lonely. Then, in a flash, the memory came back that not fifty yards away was Dolly's little parlour, and Dolly herself; and my determination surged up once more.
Suddenly His Majesty threw down his pen.
"Mr. Mallock," he said very sternly, "there is only one excuse for you—that you were drunk last night. Do you plead that?"
He was looking straight at me with savage melancholy eyes. I dropped my own.
"No, Sir."
"You dare to say you were not drunk?"
"Yes, Sir."
His Majesty caught up an ivory knife and sat drawing it through his fingers, still looking at me, I perceived; though I kept my eyes down. I could see that he was violently impatient.
"Mr. Mallock," said he, "this is intolerable. You come back from France where you have done me good service—I will never deny that—and you win my gratitude; and then you fling it all away by a piece of unpardonable behaviour. Are you aware of the penalties for such behaviour as yours?—brawling in the Palace itself, knocking my men down, forcing your way into the lodgings of Her Majesty's Ladies? Have you anything to say as to why you should not go before the Green Cloth?"
A great surge of contradiction and defiance rose within me; but I choked it down again. It was there if I should need it. The effort held me steady and balanced.
"Do you hear me, sir?"
"Yes, Sir," said I.
"Well—what have you to say?"
He glanced past me towards the door; and I thought again that the guards were in his mind.
"Sir; I have a very great deal to say. But I fear I should offend Your
Majesty."
The King jerked his head impatiently.
"It is of the nature of a defence?"
"Certainly, Sir."
"Say it then. You need one."
I raised my eyes and looked him in the face. He was frowning; and his lips were moving. Evidently he was very angry; and yet he was perplexed, too.
"Sir, this is precisely what took place. I returned from France last night, where, as Your Majesty was good enough to remark, I was able to be of some little service. Upon my return I heard from Mr. Chiffinch that my 'pretty cousin' as he was kind enough to call her, was in Whitehall, as one of Her Majesty's ladies. I went to see my cousin, perhaps a little precipitately, but I went peaceably, first inquiring of one of Your Majesty's guards where her lodgings were. I knocked, peaceably, upon the door. An old woman opened to me, and would give me no intelligible answer to my—peaceable—inquiry as to whether my cousin were there. I prevented her closing the door in my face, but peaceably; then a fellow ran out, and asked me who the devil I was. Again, peaceably, I inquired for my cousin. I even sat down upon the stairs. Then he made at me; and in self-defence I struck him once, with my hand. My cousin looked out of a door, and I went up into what I understood was her parlour. When the guard came, she sent them away, telling them I was her cousin. The serjeant was impertinent to her; and she shut the door in his face. I remained five minutes, or six, with my cousin, and then went peaceably away, and to my lodgings. That is the entire truth, Sir, from beginning to end."
The King laughed, very short and harsh.
"You put it admirably," he said. "You are a diplomat, indeed."
"That is my defence to Your Majesty; and it is perfectly true—neither less nor more than the truth. But I am not only a diplomat."
He did not fully understand me, I think, for he looked at me sharply.
"Well?" he said. "What else?"
"I have another defence for the public—Sir—not so courteous to Your
Majesty."
He remained rigid an instant.
"Then for the public," he said, "you do not think the truth enough?"
"No, Sir; it is for Your Majesty that I think the truth too much."
"I will have it!" cried the King. "This moment!"
Interiorly I licked my lips, as a dog when he sees a bone. His Majesty should have the truth now, with a vengeance. All was falling out exactly as I had designed. He should not have kept me waiting so long; or I might not have thought of it.
"Well, Sir," said I, "you will remember I should not have dared to say it to Your Majesty, had I not been commanded."
He said nothing. Then, once more, I ruffled my growling dog's ears, so that he snarled.
"First, Sir; to the public I should say: If this is counted brawling, what of other scenes in Whitehall on which no charge was made? What of the sun-dial, smashed all to fragments one night, in the Privy Garden, by certain of the King's Gentlemen whom I could name? What of the broken door-knockers—not only in the City, but upon certain doors in Whitehall itself—broken, again by certain of the King's Gentlemen whom I could name? What of a scene I viewed myself in the Banqueting Hall last Christmastide in Your Majesty's presence, when a Spanish gentleman received full in his face a bunch of raisins, from—"
"Ah!" snarled the King. "And you would say that to the public?"
"Sir—that is only the exordium "—(my voice was raised a little, I think, for indeed I was raging again by now). "Next, I would observe that Mistress Jermyn is my own cousin, and that the hour was eight o'clock in the evening—not nine, if I may so far correct Your Majesty; whereas very different hours are kept by some members of the Court, and the ladies are not their cousins at all."
I had never seen the King so angry. He was unable to speak for fury. His face paled to parchment-colour under his sallow skin, and his eyes burned like coals. This time I lashed my anger, deliberately, instead of tickling it merely.
"Sir; that is not nearly all; but I will miss out a few points, and come to my peroration. My peroration would be after this fashion. Such, I would say, is the charge against one who has been of service to His Majesty; and such is the Court (as I have described) of that same King. There is not a Court in Europe that has a Prince so noble as our own can be, of better parts, or of higher ambitions, or of so pure a blood. And there is no Prince who is served so poorly; no Court that so stinks in the nostrils of God and man, as does his. He is capable," I cried (for by now I was lost to all consideration for myself; my loyalty and love for him had come to the aid of my anger; and I saw that never again should I have such an opportunity of speaking my mind), "He is capable of as great achievements, as any Prince that has gone before him; for he has already won back the throne which his fathers lost. Would it be of service, I would say, to such a Prince as this, to punish a man who would lay down his life for him to give him even a moment's pleasure; and to let go scot-free men and women who have never done anything but injure him?"
I ceased; breathless, yet triumphing; for I knew that I had held His Majesty with my words. How he would take it, when he recovered, I did not know: nor did I greatly care. I had spoken my mind to him at last; and what I had said was no more than my conviction. That blessed gift of anger had done the rest: and, having done its work, retired again to chaos; and left me clear-headed and master of myself.
When I looked at him he was motionless. He was still very pale, but the terrible brightness of his eyes was gone.
Then he roused himself to sneer; but I did not care for that; for there was no other way for him just then, consonant with his own dignity.
"Very admirably preached!" said he; "even if a trifle treasonous."
"I am pleased Your Majesty is satisfied," I said, with a little bow.
Then he broke down altogether, in the only way that he could; he gave a great spirt of laughter; then he leaned back and laughed till the tears ran down. Presently he was quieter.
"Oddsfish!" he cried, "this is a turning of tables indeed! I sent for you, Mr. Mallock—"
The door opened softly behind me; and a man put his head in.
"Go away! go away!" cried the King. "Cannot you see I am being preached to?"
The door closed again.
"I sent for you, Mr. Mallock, to reprimand you very severely. And instead of that it is you who have held the whip. Little Ken is nothing to it: you should have been a Bishop, Mr. Mallock."
Again he spirted with laughter. Then he drew himself up in his chair a little; and became more grave.
"This is all very well," he said. "But I think I must get in my reprimand, for all that. You will not be sent to the guard-room, or the Green Cloth—(or whatever it is that would meet your case)—this time, Mr. Mallock; I will deal with you myself. But it is a very serious business, and your distinctions would not serve you in law. A sundial is not so important as a Christian lady; and a bunch of raisins is not, legally, a blow in the face. Still less are all the sundials and Spaniards in the world, equal to one of Her Majesty's Maids of Honour. You understand that?"
I bowed again; reminding myself that I was not done with him, even yet.
"Yes, Sir."
"Consider yourself reprimanded severely, Mr. Mallock."
I bowed; but I stood still.
"You have my leave—Oh! by the way, Mr. Mallock; there are just ten words I must have with you on the French affairs."
He motioned to a seat.
"I may kiss the hand that has beaten me?" said I.
He laughed again. He was a very merry prince when he was in the mood.
"It should be the other way about, I should think," he said. But he gave me his hand; and I sat down.
* * * * *
All the while we were talking, still, with one-half of my mind I was considering what was to be done next. It was a part, only, of my business that had been done; yet how to accomplish the rest without spoiling all? Presently His Majesty himself repeated that which Mr. Chiffinch had already said to me; and spoke of some kind of recognition that was due to me. That gave me my cue.
"Your Majesty is exceedingly kind," I said. "But I trust I am not to be dismissed from the King's service? Mr. Chiffinch appeared to think—"
"Why, no," said he; "not even after all your crimes. Besides we have something for you. Did he not tell you?"
"Any public recognition, Sir," I said, "would effectually do so. The very small value that my services may have would wholly be lost, if they were known in any way."
"Chiffinch said the same," observed the King meditatively. "But—"
"Sir," I said, "might I not have some private recognition instead? There is a very particular favour I have in mind, which would be private altogether; and which I would take as a complete discharge of that which Your Majesty has been good enough to call a debt of the King's."
"Not money, man! Surely!" exclaimed the King in alarm.
"Not in the least, Sir; it will not cost the exchequer a farthing."
"Well, you shall have it then. You may be sure of that."
"Well, Sir," said I, "it is a serious matter. Your Majesty will dislike it exceedingly."
He pursed his lips and looked at me sharply.
"Wait!" he said. "It will not affect my honour or—or my religion in any way?"
I assumed an air of slight offence.
"Sir; I should not be likely to ask it, if it affected Your Majesty's honour. And as for religion—" I stopped: for one more opening presented itself which I dared not neglect. From both his manner and his words I saw that religion was not very far from his thoughts.
"Well—sir," he said. "And what of religion?"
"Sir, I pray every day for Your Majesty's conversion—"
"Conversion, eh?"
"Conversion to the Holy Catholic Church, Sir. I would give my life for that, ten times over."
"There! there! have done," said His Majesty, with a touch of uneasiness.
"But I would not ask a pledge, blindfold, Sir; even to save all those ten lives of mine."
"One more than a cat, eh? Do you know, Mr. Mallock, you remind me sometimes of a cat. You are so demure, and yet you can pounce and scratch when the occasion comes."
"I would sooner it had been a little dog, Sir," I said, glancing at the spaniels that were curled up together before the fire.
"Well—well; we are wandering," smiled the King. "Now what is this favour?"
I supposed I must have looked very grave and serious; for before I could speak he leaned forward.
"It is to count as a complete discharge, I understood you to say, Mr.
Mallock, for all obligations on my part. And there is no money in it?"
"Yes, Sir," said I. "And there is no money in it."
He must have seen I was serious.
"Well; I take you at your word, sir. I will grant it. Tell me what it is."
He leaned back, looking at me curiously.
"Sir," I said, "it is now about half-past ten o'clock. What I ask is that my cousin, Mistress Dorothy Jermyn, receives an immediate dismissal from Her Majesty's service; and is ordered to leave London with me, for her father's house, at noon."
His Majesty looked at me amazed. I think he did not know whether to be angry, or to laugh.
"Well, sir," he said at last. "That is the maddest request I have ever had. You mean what you say?"
"Certainly, Sir."
"Well: you must have it then. It is the queerest kindness I have ever done. Why do you ask it? Eh?"
"Sir; you do not want my peroration over again!"
His face darkened.
"That is very like impudence, Mr. Mallock."
"I do not mean it for such, Sir. It is the naked truth."
"You think this is not a fitting place for her?"
"I am sure it is not, Sir," I said very earnestly, "nor for any country-maid. Would Your Majesty think—"
He jerked his head impatiently.
"What my Majesty thinks is one thing; what I, Charles Stuart, do, is another. Well: you must have it. There is no more to be said."
I think he expected me to stand up and take my leave. But I remained still in my chair.
"Well; what else, sir?" he asked.
"Sir; it is near a quarter to eleven. I have not the order, yet."
"Bah! well—am I to write it then?"
"If Your Majesty will condescend."
"And what shall I say to the Queen? It is not very courteous to dismiss a lady of hers so abruptly."
"Sir; tell Her Majesty it is a debt of honour."
He wheeled back to his table, took up a sheet and began to write. When he had done he scattered the sand on it, and held it out to me, his mouth twitching a little.
"Will that serve?" he said.
I have that paper still. It is written with five lines only, and a signature. It runs as follows:
"This is to command Mistress Dorothy Jermyn, late Maid of Honour to Her Majesty, now dismissed by the King, though through no fault of her own, to leave the Court at Whitehall at noon to-day, in company with her cousin Mr. Roger Mallock, and never to return thither without his consent.
"CHARLES R."
Then followed the date.
I had a criticism or two; but I dared not make them.
"That is more than I could have asked, Sir. I am under an eternal obligation to Your Majesty."
"I daresay: but all mine are discharged to you, until you earn some more. It might have meant a peerage, Mr. Mallock."
"I do not regret it, Sir," I said.
As I rose after kissing his hand, he said one more word to me.
"You are either a very wise man, or a fool, Mr. Mallock. And by God I do not know which. But I do know you are a very brave one."
"I was a very angry one, Sir," said I.
"But you are appeased?"
"A thousand times, Sir."
CHAPTER IV
I knew I could never carry the matter through alone; so, upon leaving the King's presence, I sought out Mr. Chiffinch immediately and told him what had passed.
He whistled, loud.
"You are pretty fortunate," he said. "Many a man—"
"I have no time for compliments," said I. "You must come with me to my cousin at once. We must ride at noon; and it is close upon eleven."
"You want me to plead for you, eh?"
"Not at all," said I. "There will be no pleading. It is to certify only that this is the King's writing, and that he means what he says."
"Well, well," said Mr. Chiffinch. "And what of the matter I spoke to you of last night? Have you decided? There is not much time to lose."
"You must give me a day or two," I said.
* * * * *
It was he who knocked this time; and it was not until the old woman had opened, and was curtseying to the King's page, that he called me up.
"Come, Mr. Mallock. Your cousin is within."
We went straight upstairs after the old lady; and upon her knock being answered, she threw the door open.
My Cousin Dolly was sitting over her needle, all alone. She looked, I thought, unusually pale; but she flushed scarlet, and sprang up, so soon as she saw me.
"Good-day, Mistress Jermyn," said the page very courteously. "We are come on a very sad errand—sad, that is, to those whom you will leave behind."
"What do you mean, sir?" asked Dolly, very fiercely. She did not give me one look, after the first.
He held out the paper to her. She took it, with fingers that shook a little, and read it through at least twice.
"Is this an insult, sir; or a very poor pleasantry?" (Her face was gone pale again.)
"It is neither, mistress. It is a very sober fact."
"This is the King's hand?" she snapped.
"It is," said Mr. Chiffinch.
"Dolly," said I, "I told you to be ready by noon; but you would not believe me. I suppose your packing is not done?"
She paid me no more attention than if I had been a chair.
"Mr. Chiffinch," said she, "you tell me, upon your honour, that this is the King's hand, and that he means what is written here?"
"I give you my honour, mistress," he said.
She tossed the paper upon the table; she went swiftly across to the further door, and opened it.
"Anne!" she said.
A voice answered her from within.
"Put out my riding-dress. Pack all that you can, that I shall need in the country. We have to ride at noon." She shut the door again, and turned on us—or rather, upon Mr. Chiffinch.
"Sir," she said, "you have done your errand. Perhaps you will now relieve me of your company. I shall be awaiting my cousin, Mr. Roger Mallock, as the King requires, at noon."
"Dolly—" said I.
She continued, looking through me, as through glass.
"At noon: and I trust he will not keep me waiting."
There was no more to be done. We turned and went out.
"Lord! what a termagant is your pretty cousin, Mr. Mallock!" said my companion when we were out of doors again. "You could have trusted her well enough, I think."
I was not in the mood to discuss her with him; I had other things to think of.
"Mr. Chiffinch," I said, "I am very much obliged to you; but I must be off for my own packing." And I bade him good-day.
* * * * *
When I rode into the court, five minutes before noon, a very piteous little group awaited me by the inner gate. Dolly, very white and angry, stood by the mounting-block, striving to preserve her dignity. Her maid was behind her, arguing how the bags should be disposed on the pack-horse, with the fellow who was to lead it. Dolly's own horse was not yet come; but as I rode up to salute her, he came out of an archway led by a groom.
I leapt off, and stood by the mounting-block to help her. Again it was as if I were not there. She jerked her head to the man.
"Help me," she said.
He was in a quandary, for he could not leave the horse's head.
"I am very sorry, Dolly," said I, "but you will have to put up for me for once. Come."
She gave a look of despair round about; but there was no help.
"It is on the stroke of noon," I said.
She submitted; but it was with the worst grace I have ever seen. She accepted my ministrations; but it was as if I were a machine: not one word did she speak, good or bad.
By the time that she was mounted, her maid was up too, and the bags disposed.
"Come," I said again; and mounted my own horse.
As we rode out through the great gate, the Clock Tower beat the hour of noon.
* * * * *
I am weary of saying that my journeys were strange; but, certainly, this was another of them.
* * * * *
Through the narrow streets I made no attempt to ride beside her. In the van went three of my men; then rode I; then, about ten yards behind, came Dolly and her maid. Then came two pack-horses, led by a fellow who controlled them both; and my fourth man closed the dismal cavalcade. So we went through the streets—all the way down the Strand and into the City, wheeled to the left, and so out by Bishopsgate. It was a clear kind of day, without rain: but the clouds hung low, and I thought it would rain before nightfall. I intended to do the whole journey in a day; so as to be at Hare Street before midnight at least. A night on the way, and Dolly's company at supper, all alone with me, or even with her maid, appeared to me too formidable to face.
When we were out in the country, I reined my horse in. I saw a change pass over Dolly's face; then it became like stone.
"We have a long ride, for one day," said I.
She made no answer. My anger rose a little.
"My Cousin," I said, "I had the honour to speak to you."
"I do not wish to have the dishonour of answering you," said Dolly.
It was a weakness on her part to answer at all; but I suppose she could not resist the repartee.
"A very neat hit," I said. "Must all our conversation run upon these lines?"
She made no answer at all.
"Anne," I said, "rein your horse back ten yards."
"Anne," said Dolly, "ride precisely where you are."
"Very good," said I. "I have no objection to your maid hearing what I have to say. I thought it would be you that would object."
"Anne," said Dolly, "did you pack the sarcenet?"
"Yes, mistress."
"Then tell me again the tale that you were—"
I broke in with such fury that even Dolly ceased.
"My Cousin," I said, "I have a louder voice than either of you; and I shall use it, if you do not listen, so that the whole countryside shall hear. I have to say this—that some time or another to-day I have to have a private conversation with you. It is for you to choose the time and place. If you give me no opportunity now, I shall make it myself, later. Will you hear what I have to say now?"
There was a very short silence.
"Anne," said Dolly, "now that we can hear ourselves speak, will you tell me again the tale that you began last night?"
She said it, not at all lightly, but with a coldness and a distilled kind of anger that gave me no choice. I lifted my hat a little; shook my reins; and once more took up my position ten yards ahead. There was a low murmur of voices behind; and then silence. It appeared that the tale was not to be told after all.
* * * * *
We dined, very late, at a little inn, called the Cross-Keys, between Edmonton and Ware. I remember nothing at all, either of the inn or the host or the food—nothing but the name of the inn, for the name struck me, with a dreary kind of wit, as reflective of the cross-purposes which we were at. We three dined together, in profound silence, except when Dolly addressed a word or two to her maid. As for me, she took the food which I carved, all as if I were a servant, without even such a thank-you as a man gives to a servant.
We took the road again, about three o'clock; and even then the day was beginning to draw in a little, very bleak and dismal; and that, too, I took as a symbol of my heart within, and of my circumstances and prospects. Certainly I had gained my desire in one way; I had got Dolly away from Court; yet that was the single point I had to congratulate myself upon. All else, it appeared, was ruined. I had lost all the advantage, or very nearly all, that I had ever won from the King—(for I knew, that although he had been merry at the end of the time, he would not forget how I had worsted him)—and as for Dolly, I supposed she would never speak to me again. It had been bad enough when I had left Hare Street nearly a twelvemonth ago: my return to it now was a hundred times worse.
Although Dolly, however, would not speak to me, I was entirely determined to speak to Dolly. I proposed to rehearse to her what I had done, and why; and when that was over, I would leave it in her hands whether I remained at Hare Street a day or two, or left again next morning. More than a day or two, I did not even hope for. I had insulted her—it seemed—beyond forgiveness. Yet, besides my miserableness, there was something very like pleasure as well, though of a grim sort. I had spoken my mind to her, pretty well, and would do so more explicitly; and I was to speak my mind very well indeed to her father. There was a real satisfaction to me in that prospect. Then, once more, I would shut the door for ever on Hare Street, and go back again to town, and begin all over again at the beginning, and try to retrieve a little of what I had lost. Such then were my thoughts.
We supped, at Ware—at the Saracen's Head, and the same wretched performance was gone through as at the Cross-Keys. Night was fallen completely; and we had candles that guttered not a little. Dolly was silent, however, this time, even to her maid. She did not give me one look, all through supper.
When I came out afterwards to the horses, the yard was all in a mist: I could see no more than a spot of light where the lamp should be by the stable-door. The host came with me.
"It has fallen very foggy, sir," he said. "Would it not be best to stay the night?"
I was considering the point before answering; but my cousin answered for me, from behind.
"Nonsense," said she. "I know every step of the way. Where are the horses?"
(Even that, I observed, she said to the host and not to me.)
"The lady is impatient to get home," I said. "Is the fog likely to spread far?"
"It may be from here to Cambridge, sir," he said—"at this time of the year."
"Where are the horses?" said Dolly again.
There was no help for it. Once more we mounted; Dolly, again, assisted by the host, and not by me: but Anne was gracious enough to accept my ministrations.
For a few miles all went well: but the roads hereabouts were very soft and boggy; it was next to impossible sometimes to know whether we were right or not; and after a while one of my men waited for me—he that carried the lantern to guide the rest of us. The first I saw of him was his horse's ears, very black, like a pair of horns, against the lighted mist. "Sir," he said, "I do not know the road. I can see not five yards, light or no light."
I called out to James.
"James," said I, "do you know where we are?"
"No, sir," said he, "at least not very well."
"Cousin," I said—(for Dolly had reined up her horse close behind, not knowing, I suppose, that I was so near). "Cousin, I am sorry to trouble you; but unless you can lead us—"
"Give me the lantern," she said sharply to my man.
She took it from him, and pushed forwards. I wheeled my horse after her and followed. The rest fell in behind somewhere. I did not say one word, good or bad; for a certain thought had come to me of what might happen. She thought, I suppose, that Anne was behind her.
So impatient was my Cousin Dolly, that, certain of her road, as she supposed, she urged her horse presently into a kind of amble. I urged mine to the same; and so, for perhaps ten minutes, we rode in silence. I could hear the horses behind—or rather the sucking noise of their feet,—fall behind a little, and then a little more. The men were talking, too; and so was Anne, to them—for she liked men's company, and did not get very much of it in Dolly's service—and this I suppose was the reason why they did not notice how the distance grew between us. After about ten minutes I heard a man shout; but the fog deadened his voice, so that it sounded a great way off; and Dolly, I suppose, thought he was not of our party at all; for she never turned her head; and besides, she was intent on hating me, and that, I think, absorbed her more than she knew. I said nothing; I rode on in silence, seeing her like an outline only in the dark, now and again—and, more commonly nothing but a kind of lighted mist, now and then obscured. It appeared to me that we were very far away to the right; but then I never professed to know the way; and it was no business of mine. Truly the very courses of nature fought against my cousin and her passionate ways. Presently I turned at a sound; and there was James' mare at my heels. I knew her even in the dark, by the white blaze on her forehead. I had been listening for the voices; and had not noticed he was there. I reined up, instantly; and as he came level I plucked his sleeve.
"James," I whispered in Italian, lest Dolly should catch even a phrase of what I said—"not a word. Go back and find the others. Leave us. We will find our way."
James was an exceedingly discreet and sensible fellow—as I knew. He reined back upon the instant, and was gone in the black mist; and I could hear his horse's footsteps passing into the distance. What he thought, God and he alone knew; for he never told me.
The soft sound of the hoofs was scarcely died away, before I too had to pull in suddenly; for there were the haunches of Dolly's horse before the very nose of my poor grey. She had halted; and was listening. I held my breath.
"Anne," she said suddenly. "Anne, where are you?"
As in the Scripture—there was no voice nor any that answered. There was no sound at all but the creaking of the harness, and the soft breathing of the horses, for we had been coming over heavy ground. The world was as if buried in wool.
"Anne," she said again; and I caught a note of fear in her voice.
"Cousin," said I softly, "I fear Anne is lost, and so are the rest. You see you would not speak to me; and it was none of my business—"
"Who is that?" said she sharply. But she knew well enough.
I resolved to spare her nothing; for I was beginning to understand her a little better.
"It is Cousin Roger," I said. "You see you said you knew the road, and so—"
Then she lashed her horse suddenly; and I heard him plunge. But he could not go fast, from the heaviness of the ground; and he was very weary too, as were we all. Besides, she forgot that she carried the lantern, I think; and I was able to follow her easily enough; as the light moved up and down. Then the light halted once more; and I saw a great whiteness beyond it which I could not at first understand.
I came up quietly; and spoke again.
"Dolly, my dear; we had best have a little truce—an armed truce, if you will—but a truce. You can be angry with me again afterwards."
"You coward!" she said, with a sob in her voice, "to lead me away like this—"
"My dear, it was you who did the leading. Do me bare justice. I have followed very humbly."
She made no answer.
"Cousin; be reasonable," I said. "Let us find the way out of this; and when we are clear you can say what you will—or say nothing once more."
She took me at my word, and preserved her deadly silence.
I slipped off my horse; she was within an arm's length, and, not trusting her, I passed my arm with scarcely a noticeable movement through her bridle. It was well that I did so; for an instant after she tore at the bridle, not knowing I had hold of it, and lashed her horse again, thinking to escape whilst I was on the ground. I was very near knocked down by the horse's shoulder, but I slipped up my hand and caught him close to the bit—holding my own with my other hand.
"You termagant!" I said, as soon as I had them both quiet; for I was very angry indeed to be treated so after all my gentleness. "No more trust for me. It would serve you right if I left you here."
"Leave me," she wailed, "leave me, you coward!"
I set my teeth.
"I shall not," I said. "I shall punish you by remaining. I know you hate my company. Well, you will submit to it, then, because I choose so. Now then, let us see—"
Then she burst out suddenly into a passion of weeping. I set my teeth harder than ever. There was only one way, after all, to get the better of Dolly; and I had pitched on it.
"Yes: it is very well to cry," I said. "You nearly had me killed just now. Well: you will have to listen to me presently, whether you like it or not. Give me the lantern."
She made no movement. She had fought down the tears a little; but I could hear her breath still sobbing. I reached up and took the lantern from her right hand.
"Now; where in God's name are we?" said I.
We had ridden into some kind of blind alley, I presently saw; and that was why Dolly's horse had halted. Even that I had not owed to her goodwill. For we had ridden, I saw presently, lifting the lantern up and down, into a great chalk pit; and must have turned off along the track that led to it, from one of those sunken ways that drovers use to bring their flocks up to the high road. That we were to the right of the high road I was certain, of my own observation. Ergo; if we could get back into the sunken way and turn to the right, we might find ourselves on familiar ground again. However, I said nothing of this to Dolly. I was resolved that she should suffer a little more first. I took the bridles of the two horses more securely, slipping my hand with the lantern through the bridle of my own, turned their heads round and walked between them, looking very closely on this side and that, and turning my lantern every way. After twenty yards I saw that I was right. The bank on my left proved to be no bank, but the cliff-edge of the chalk pit only, by which the sunken way passed very near. I led the horses round to the right; and there were we, in the very situation I had surmised. Still holding Dolly's bridle, I mounted my own horse; and when I had done so, to secure myself and her the better, I pulled the reins suddenly over her horse's head, and brought them into my left hand.
"That is safer," I observed. "Now we can pretend to be friends again; and hold that conversation of which I spoke after we left London."
There was no answer, as we set out along the way. It was a little clearer by now; and I could see the bank on my right. I glanced at her; and in the light of the lantern I could see that she was sitting very upright and motionless like a shadow. I lowered the lantern to the right side, so that she was altogether in the dark and the bank illuminated. I felt a little compassion for her indeed; but I dared not shew it.
"Now, Cousin," I said, "I preached to His Majesty yesterday; and he told me I should be a Bishop at least. Now it is you that must hear a sermon."
Again she said nothing.
I had rehearsed pretty well by now all that I meant to say to her; and it was good for me that I had, else I might have fallen weak again when I saw her so unhappy. As it was I kept back some of the biting sentences I had prepared. My address was somewhat as follows. We jogged forward very gingerly as I spoke.
"Cousin," I began, "you have treated me very ill. The first of your offences to me was that, though I had earned, I think, the right to call myself your friend, neither you nor your father gave me any hint whatever of your going to Court. I know very well why you did not; and I shall have a little discourse to make to your father upon the matter, at the proper time. But for all that I had a right to be told. If you were to go, I might at least have got you better protection in the beginning than that of the—the—well—of Her Grace of Portsmouth.
"Now all that was the cause of the very small offence that I committed against you myself—that of forcing my way into your lodgings. For that I offer my apologies—not for the fact, but for the manner of it. And even that apology is not very deep: I shall presently tell you why.
"The next of your offences to me was that open defiance which you shewed, and some of the words you addressed to me, both then and afterwards. You have told me I was a coward, several times, under various phrases, and twice, I think, sans phrase. Cousin; I am a great many things I should not be; but I do not think I am a coward; at least I have never been a coward in your presence. Again, you have told me that I was very good at bullying. For that I thank God, and gladly plead guilty. If a maid is bent on her own destruction, if nothing else will serve she must be bullied out of it. Again, I thank God that I was there to do it."
I looked at her out of the tail of my eye. Her head seemed to me to be a little hung down; but she said nothing at all.
"The third offence of yours is the intolerable discourtesy you have shewn to me all to-day—and before servants, too. I put myself to great pains to get you out of that stinking hole called Whitehall; I risked His Majesty's displeasure for the same purpose: I have been at your disposal ever since noon; and you have treated me like a dog. You will continue to treat me so, no doubt, until we get to Hare Street; and you will do your best no doubt to provoke a quarrel between your father and myself. Well; I have no great objection to that; but I have not deserved that you should behave so. I have done nothing, ever since I have known you, but try to serve you—" (my voice rose a little; for I was truly moved, and far more than my words shewed)—"You first treated me like a friend; then, when you would not have me as a lover, I went away, and I stayed away. Then, when you would not have me as a lover, and I would not have you as my friend, I became, I think I may fairly say, your defender; and all that you do in return—"
Then, without any mistake at all, I caught the sound of a sob; and all my pompous eloquence dropped from me like a cloak. My anger was long since gone, though I had feigned it had not. To be alone with her there, enclosed in the darkness as in a little room—her horse and mine nodding their heads together, and myself holding her bridle—all this, and the silence round us, and my own heart, very near bursting, broke me down.
"Oh! Dolly," I cried. "Why are you so bitter with me? You know that I have never thought ill of you for an instant. You know I have done nothing but try to serve you—I have bullied you? Yes: I have; and I would do the same a thousand times again in the same cause. You are wilful and obstinate; but I thank God I am more wilful and obstinate than you. I am sick of this fencing and diplomacy and irony. You know what I am—I am not at all the fine gentleman that leaned his head on the chimney-breast—that was make-believe and foolishness. I am a bully and a brute—you have told me so—"
"Oh!" wailed Dolly suddenly—no longer pretending; and I caught the note in her voice for which I had been waiting. I dropped the lantern; the horses plunged violently at the flare and the crash; but I cared nothing for that. I dragged furiously on the bridle; and as the horses swung together, I caught her round the shoulders, and kissed her fiercely on the cheek. She clung to me, weeping.
CHAPTER V
Well; I had beaten her at last; and in the only way in which she would yield. Weakness was of no use with her, nor gentleness, nor even that lofty patronage which, poor fool! I had shewn her in the parlour at Hare Street. She must be man's mate—which is certainly a rather savage relation at bottom—not merely his pretty and grateful wife. This I learned from her, as we rode onwards and up into the high road—(where, I may say in passing, there was no sign of our party)—though she did not know she was telling it me.
"Oh! Roger," she said. "And I thought you were a—a pussy-cat."
"That is the second time I have been told so in two days," I said.
"Who told you so?"
"His Majesty."
"I thought His Majesty was wiser," said she.
"He has been pretty wise, though," I said. "If it were not for him, we should not be riding here together."
"I suppose you made him do that too," she said.
* * * * *
But it was not only of Dolly that I had learned my lessons; it was of myself also. I was astonished how inevitable it appeared to me now that we should be riding together on such terms; and I understood that never, for one instant, all through this miserable year away from her, had I ever, interiorly, loosed my hold upon her. Beneath all my resolutions and wilful distractions the intention had persevered. All the while I was saying to myself in my own mind that I should never see Dolly again, something that was not my mind—(I suppose my heart)—was telling me the precise opposite. Well; the heart had been right, after all.
* * * * *
She asked me presently what I should say to her father.
"I shall forgive him a great deal now, that I thought I never should,"
I said with wonderful magnanimity. "A few sharp words only, and no more.
You see, my dear, it was through his sending you to Court—"
"Yes: yes," she said.
"He has behaved abominably, however," I said, "and I shall tell him so.
Dolly, my love."
"Yes," said she.
"I must go back very soon to town. I have been offered a piece of work; and even if I do not accept it, I must speak of it to them."
"Them?"
"Yes, my dear. I must say no more than that. It is secretum commissum as we say in Rome."
"And to think that you were a Benedictine novice!" exclaimed Dolly.
We talked awhile of that then; she asked me a number of questions that may be imagined under such circumstances: and my answers also can be imagined; and we spoke of a great number of things, she and I riding side by side in the dark, our very horses friendly one with another—she telling me all of how she went to Court, and why she went, and I telling her my side of the affair—until at last in Puckeridge a man ran out from the inn yard to say that our party was within and waiting for us. They had met, it appeared, a rustic fellow who had set them right, soon after they had lost us.
I do not know what they thought at first; but I know what they thought in the end; for I rated them very soundly for not keeping nearer to us; and bade James ride ahead with the lantern with all the rest between, and Dolly and I in the rear to keep them from straying again. In this manner then did she and I contrive to have a great deal more conversation before we came a little before midnight to Hare Street.
The village was all dark as we came through it; and all dark was the House when we pushed open the yard gates and rode in. We went through and beat upon the door, and presently heard a window thrown up.
"Who is there?" cried my Cousin Tom's voice.
I bade Dolly's maid answer. (She was all perplexed, poor wench, at the change of relations between her mistress and me.)
"It is Mistress Jermyn, sir," she said.
"Yes, father; I have come back," cried Dolly.
There was an exclamation from poor Tom; and in two or three minutes we saw a light beneath the door, and heard him drawing the bolts. I pushed Dolly and her maid forward as the door opened, and then myself strode suddenly forward into the light.
"Why—God bless—" cried Tom; who was in his coat and shoes. I could see how his face fell when he saw me. I looked at him very grimly: but I said nothing to him at once (for I was sorely tempted to laugh at his apparition), but turned to James and bade him see to the rest and find beds somewhere. Then I went after Dolly and her father into the Great Chamber, still with my hat on my head and looking very stern. He was talking very swiftly in a low voice to Dolly; but he stopped when I came in.
"Yes, Cousin Tom," I said, "I am come back again—all unlooked for, as I see."
"But, good God!" he cried. "What is the matter; and why is Dolly here? I was but just asking—"
I pulled out the King's paper which I had all ready, and thrust it down before the lantern that he had put on the table: and I waited till he had read it through.
"There, Cousin!" I said when he was staring on me again, "that is enough warrant for both you and me, I think. Have you anything to say?"
He began to bluster.
"Cousin," I said, "if I have any patience it is because Dolly has given it back to me. You had best not say too much. You have done all the harm you could; and it is only by God's mercy that it has not been greater."
He said that he was Dolly's father and could do as he pleased. Besides, she herself had consented.
"I know that," I said, "because she has told me so; and that it was in despair that she went, because we two fools bungled our business. Well, you may be her father; but the Scripture tells us that a woman must leave her father and cleave to her husband; and that is what I am to be to her."
Well; when I said that, there was the Devil to pay—we three standing there in the cold chamber, with the draughts playing upon poor Tom's legs. He looked a very piteous object, very much fallen from that fine figure that he had presented when I had first set eyes on him; but he strove to compensate by emphasis what he lacked in dignity. He said that he had changed his mind; that even third cousins once removed should not marry; that he had now other designs for his daughter; that I had no right to dictate to him in his own house. He waxed wonderfully warm; but even then, in the first flush of his resistance I thought I saw a kind of wavering. I sat with one leg across the corner of the great table until he was done; while Dolly sat in a chair, turning her merry eyes from the one to the other of us. For myself, I felt no lack of confidence. I had beaten the daughter; now I was to beat the father.
When he had finished, and drew breath, I stood up.
"Very bravely said, Cousin, bare legs and all," I said. "We will speak of it all again to-morrow. But now for a bite; we have been riding since noon."
It was very strange to go upstairs again after a mouthful or two, and a glass of warm ale, and see my chamber again from which I had departed in such unhappiness near a twelvemonth ago. James had made a little fire for me, before which I drew off my boots and undressed myself. For it was from this very chamber that I had gone forth in such despair, when Dolly had said that she would not have me: and now, here I was in it again, all glowing with my ride and my drink and my great content, having kissed Dolly just now in her father's presence as a symbol of our troth. And so I went to bed and dreamed and woke and dreamed again.
We had our talk out next morning, Tom pacing up and down the Great Chamber, until I entreated him for God's sake to sit down and save my stiff neck. He was very high at first; but I was astonished how quickly he came down.
"That is very well," I said, "to speak now of better prospects for Dolly. But you will do me the honour of remembering, my dear Cousin, that in this very room once you spoke to me very differently. If you have changed your mind, you might at least have told me so; for I have not changed mine at all; and Dolly, it seems, is come round to my way of thinking at last."
"But how did you do it?" asked he, stopping in his walk.
"I lost my temper altogether," said I; "and that is a very good way if you have tried all the rest."
"But the King, man, the King! How did you get that paper out of him? Why
His Majesty himself, I am told, took particular notice—"
"Eh?" said I.
"That is no matter now," he said. "What were you going to say?"
"I must have that first," said I.
Tom began to pace the floor again.
"It is nothing at all, Cousin. It is that His Majesty spoke very kindly to my daughter upon her first coming to Court."
"I am glad I did not know that," I said, "or I might have said more to him."
"Well; but what did you say?"
Now I was in half a dozen minds as to what I should tell him. He knew for certain nothing at all of my comings and goings and of what I did for the King; yet I thought that he must have guessed a good deal. I judged it safer, therefore, to tell him a little, to stop his month; but not too much.
"Why," I said very carefully, "I have been of a little service to the King; and His Majesty was good enough to ask me if there were any little favour he could do me. So that is what I asked him."