“The art of historical writing is rendered the less facile in expression from I know not what personal differences which the most honest will admit into their record of events, and the most observant wilt permit to colour the picture proceeding from their pens.” (Extract from the Judicious Essay of a Gentleman in Holy Orders, author of A History of Religious Differences.)
I
From His Royal Highness the Commander-in-Chief to the Minister of War of his Brother the Emperor of Patagonia.
(Begins)
I HAVE the honour to report: Upon the morning of Sunday, the 31st, the enemy attacked the left of my position in great force, a little before dawn. I withdrew the XIth, XIIIth, and IInd Brigades, which were here somewhat advanced, covering their retirement with detachments from the First, the Thirty-seventh, and the Forty-second of the Line. The retirement was executed in good order and with small loss, the total extent of which I cannot yet determine, but of which by far the greater part consists of men but slightly wounded. Several pieces which had been irretrievably damaged were destroyed and abandoned. Upon reaching a position I had determined in my general plan before leaving the capital (see annexed sketch map A) the forces entrenched, defending a line which the enemy did not care to attack. I have reinforced the Brigade with two groups drawn from the Corps Artillery, and have despatched all aids, medicaments, etc., required.
A simultaneous attack delivered upon the centre of my position was repulsed, the enemy flying in the utmost disorder, and leaving behind them two pieces of artillery and a colour, which last I have sent under the care of Major the Duke of Tierra del Fuego to be deposited among the glorious trophies that adorn the Military Temple.
By noon the action showed no further development. In the early afternoon I determined to advance my right, largely reinforced from the centre, which was now completely secure from attack. The movement was wholly successful, and the result coincided exactly with my prearranged plans. The enemy abandoned all this upper portion of the right bank of the Tusco in the utmost confusion; his main body is therefore now in full retreat, and there is little doubt that over and above the decisive and probably final character of this success I shall be able to report in my next the capture of many prisoners, pieces, and stores. I congratulate His Majesty upon the conspicuous courage displayed in every rank, and recommend for distinguished service the 1847 names appended. His Majesty’s Government may take it that this action virtually ends the war. (Ends.)
II
From Field-Marshal the Most Illustrious the Lord Duke of Rapello to the Minister of War of the Republic of Utopia.
(Begins) Upon the morning of Sunday, the 31st, in accordance with the plan which I had drawn up before leaving the capital, I advanced my right a little before dawn against the left of the Imperial position, which was very strongly posted upon the edge of a precipitous cliff, one flank reposing upon an impassable gulf and the other on a deep and torrential river. The enemy resisted with the utmost stubbornness, but was eventually driven from his positions, though these were strongly entrenched after more than a week’s work with the spade. He abandoned the whole of his artillery. A great number of prisoners have fallen into my hands, and the loss of the enemy in killed alone must amount to many thousands. Particulars will follow later, but I am justified in saying that the left wing of the enemy is totally destroyed. Meanwhile, General Mitza, most ably carrying out my instructions, contained the enemy upon the centre without loss, save for one pom-pom and a Maxim, which were shattered by a chance shell early in the action. The 145th also report the loss by burning of a waggon containing their Colours, eighteen cans of tinned beef, and the Missionaries’ travelling library. Somewhat later in the day the enemy attempted to retrieve a hopeless position by advancing his right in great force. I had been informed of the movement (which was somewhat clumsily executed) in ample time, and withdrew the petty outposts I had thrown out for observation in his neighbourhood. There is little doubt that the enemy will now attempt to withdraw his main force along the line of the Tusco Valley, but a glance at the map will show that this retreat is closed to him by my occupation of the line X Y (see annexed sketch map), and he is now virtually contained.
I congratulate the Government of the Republic upon the signal and decisive victory our troops have driven home, and I may confidently assure them that it is tantamount to the successful ending of the present campaign. Appended is a list of officers recommended for distinguished service, which I have made as brief as possible, and which I particularly beg after so glorious a day may not be curtailed by political intrigues, of which I have already been compelled to complain. (Ends.)
III
Extract from a Leading Article in one of the most Reputable Newspapers of the Capital of Patagonia upon Monday the 1st.
“We have always maintained in these columns that His Imperial Majesty’s Government was amply justified in undertaking the short, and now happily successful, campaign in which it was proposed to chastise the so-called ‘Republic’ of Utopia, whose chronic state of anarchy is a menace to the peace and prosperity of civilisation. It is a pleasure to be able to announce this morning what was already a foregone conclusion in the minds of all educated men. The enemy’s forces—if we may dignify them by that name—have been overwhelmed at the first contact, and it is now only a question of whether they will be utterly disorganised during retreat or will prefer to capitulate while some semblance of discipline remains to them. We must, however, implore public opinion to preserve at this juncture the calm, sane courage which is among the best traditions of our race, and we reiterate the absolute necessity of abstaining from any wild cat policy of annexation. It should be enough for us that the ‘Republic’ of Utopia will now exist in name only, and has ceased for ever to be a menace to its neighbours. A specially gratifying feature in the news before us is the skill and mastery displayed by the Prince, whose advanced years (we blush to remember it) had been the cause of so much secret criticism of his command.”
IV
Extract from the Leading Article of the most Popular Journal of the Utopian Republic, same date.
“Citizens, awake! All ye that kneel, arise! Ares (the god of battles) has breathed upon the enemy, and he has been destroyed! The cowardly mercenaries who handle the gold of Patagonia have broken and fled before our troops upon the very first occasion when their reputed valour was put to the test. The glorious and aged Mitza has guaranteed that the next news will be that of their complete submission. It will then be for the Government to decide whether our victorious lads should complete a triumphant march upon the Patagonian capital or whether it may not be preferable to wring from that corrupt and moribund society such an indemnity as shall make them for ever impotent to disturb the frontiers of free men.”
V
Extract from the Note of the Military Expert of the aforesaid weighty and reputable Journal of the Capital of Patagonia: A Journalist.
“It is not easy to reconstruct from the fragmentary telegrams that have come through from the front the tactical nature of the great and happily decisive victory upon the Tusco which has just ended the campaign. So far as one can judge, His Royal Highness the Commander-in-Chief lay en biais, reposing his right upon the river itself and his left upon the Cañon of the Encantado, his centre somewhat advanced ‘in gabion,’ his pivot points refused, and his right in double concave. Upon a theory of Ballistic and Shock, which all those who have read His Royal Highness’s daring and novel book of thirty years ago, entitled ‘Cavalry in the Field,’ will remember, our Corps Artillery and reserve of horse were doubtless some miles in the rear of the firing line. The enemy, with an amazing ignorance of the elements of military knowledge, appear to have attacked the left of this position. It is an error to which we should hardly give credence were not the telegrams so clear and decisive on this point. The reader will immediately grasp the obvious result of such a piece of folly. His Royal Highness promptly refused en potence, wheeled his left centre round upon the Eleventh Brigade as a pivot, and supported this masterly move by the sudden and unexpected appearance of no less than thirty-six guns, the converging fire of which at once arrested the ill-fated and mad scheme of the enemy. The rest is easily told. Our centre retaining its position, in spite of the burning zeal of the men to take part in the general advance, the right, which had not yet come into action, was thrown forward with a sudden, sweeping movement, and behind its screen of Cavalry debouched upon the open plateau which dominates the left bank of the Tusco. After that all was over; the next news we shall have will certainly be the capitulation of our broken foe, unless, indeed, he prefer to be destroyed piecemeal in a scattered flight.”
VI
Extract from the Note of the Military Expert of the popular Journal of Utopia: Formerly a Sergeant in the Commissariat Department of the Army.
“It is not easy to reconstruct from the fragmentary telegrams which have come through from the front the tactical nature of the great and happily decisive victory upon the Tusco. Some points are obvious. In the first place, it was ‘a soldiers’ battle.’ Gallant old Mitz (to whom all honour is due) drew up the line of battle, but the hard work was done by Bill Smith and Tom Jones, and the rest in the deadly trenches above the right bank. It seems probable that all the heaviest work was done on our right, and therefore against the enemy’s left, unless, indeed, the private telegram received by a contemporary be accurate, which would make out the heaviest work to have been on our left against the enemy’s right. The present writer has an intimate personal knowledge of the terrain, over every part of which he rode during the manœuvres of five years ago. It is sandy in places, interspersed with damp, clayey bits; much of it is undulating, and no small part of it rocky. Trees are scattered throughout the expanse of the now historic battlefield; their trunks afford excellent cover. The River Tusco, as our readers will have observed, is the dominating feature of the quadrilateral, which it cuts en échelon. The Patagonians boasted that though our army was acknowledgedly superior to their own, their commercial position would enable them to weary us out in the field. Yes, I don’t think!”
VII
Extract from a Lecture delivered by a Professor of Military History one hundred years later, in the University of Lima.
“Among the minor factors of this complicated situation was the permanent quarrel between Patagonia and Utopia, and though it has been much neglected by historians, and is, indeed, but a detail upon the flank of the great struggle of the coalition, a few moments must be given to the abortive operations in the Tusco Valley. They appear to have been conducted without any grasp of the main rules of strategy, each party advancing in a more or less complete ignorance of the position of the other, their communications parallel, their rate of advance deplorably slow, and neither possessing the information nor the initiative to strike at his opponent during a three-weeks’ march, at no point of which was either army so much as fifty miles from the other. These farcical three weeks ended in a sort of skirmish difficult to describe, and apparently confined to the extreme left of the Patagonian forces. The Utopians here effected some sort of confused advance, which was soon checked. At the other end of the line they retired before a partial movement of the enemy, effected without any apparent object, and certainly achieving no definite result. The total losses in killed and wounded were less than seven per cent of those engaged. The next day negotiations were entered into between the two generals; their weary discussion occupied a whole week, during which hostilities were suspended. The upshot of the whole thing was the retirement of the Patagonian Army under guarantees, and in consideration of the acceptation of the old frontier by the Utopian Government. Politically the campaign is beneath notice, as both territories were absorbed six months after in the recasting of the map after the Treaty of Lima, and the policing of them handed over to the now all-conquering Northern Power. Even as military history the operations deserve little more than passing notice, save, perhaps, as an example of the gross yet ever recurrent folly of placing numerically large commands in the hands of aged men. Mitza, upon the occasion of this fiasco, was over seventy-five years of age and long in his dotage, while the Prince of the Blood who had been chosen to lead (nominally, at least) the Patagonian Army was, apart from his increasing years, a notorious drunkard, and what is perhaps worse from a military point of view, daily subject to long and complete lapses of memory.”