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Pine Tree Ballads: Rhymed Stories of Unplaned Human Natur' up in Maine cover

Pine Tree Ballads: Rhymed Stories of Unplaned Human Natur' up in Maine

Chapter 26: DAN’L AND DUNK
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About This Book

A collection of rhymed stories and ballads portraying rural and coastal Maine life through humorous, often dialect verse. It gathers sketches of farmers, fishermen, lumber drivers, town eccentrics and aging neighbors, mixing comic anecdotes, sentimental scenes, sea and camp songs, and moral reflections. Verses alternate lively narrative ballads and lyrical passages that emphasize sturdy labor, local wit, communal rituals such as drives and holidays, and unvarnished human foibles. The tone ranges from affectionate mockery to genuine sympathy, using colloquial rhythms to evoke landscape, work, and tradition while capturing character types and everyday incidents rather than continuous plot.









WE FELLERS DIGGIN’ CLAMS

Pluck, pluck,

Pluck, pluck!

Stubbin’ acrost the clam-flat muck!

Ev’ry time I lift my huck,

—Hearin’ the heel of my old boot suck,

It seems to me that a word plops out,

And I’ve listened so often there ain’t no

doubt

It’s pluck, pluck, pluck.

And pluck and the job they jest agree

—Dig clams, my lad, for a while and see!

It’s a stiddy kind of bus’ness an’ it ain’t for

shiny boots,

But still—ye know,’tain’t bad!

It ain’t an occurpation for the millionaire ga-

loots,

But’tain’t so mighty wuss, my lad.

It’s a stiddy kind of bus’ness where there ain’t

no room for doubt

As to what’ull be the profit and where ye’re

cornin’ out.

For there ain’t no books and ledgers, and no

botherin’ with deals,

No dodgin’ law and lawyers and no stock con-

trivin’ steals.

Simply take a leaky dory and a basket and a

hoe,

And you’re fixed for doin’ bus’ness—ev’ry fel-

ler has a show.

When the old Atlantic ocean pulls away his

swashin’ tide

Why, the bank is there ‘before you and the

doors are opened wide;

The flats are there etarnal and you never find

the sign

Sayin’, “Bank has shet up business—pres’-

dent’s skipped acrost the line.”

Shuck away yer co’t and weskit, grab the clam-

hoe’s muddy haft,

And endorsed by grit and muscle you’ll get

cash on ev’ry draft.

For yer check-book’s there, the clam flat; and

yer pen, sir, is the hoe,

And accounts are balanced daily by the ocean’s

ebb and flow.

Then the climbin’, crawlin’ water rubs the dig-

gin’ marks away,

And the clams are jest as plenty when you

come another day.

And the sleep that follers labor kind of smooths’-

us, as the tide

Smooths the nickin’s on the clam-flats where

our busy hoes have pried.

So the nights are nights of comfort and I

mostly can forget

That the days are days of diggin’,—cold and

muddy, lame and wet.

For Fd rather have a backache than a rattled,

burnin’ brain,

And I guess I’m fair contented with the clam

flats here in Maine.

For I’m thinkin’ worried critters in the rushin’,

pushin’ jams

Likely’nough ain’t nigh so happy as we fellers

diggin’ clams.








DAN’L AND DUNK

Dan’l and Dunk and the yaller dog were the

owners and crew of the Pollywog,

A hand-line smack that cuffed the seas’twixt

’Tinicus Head and Point Quahaug.

Dunk owned half and Dan owned half, and the

yaller dog was also joint,

They fished and ate and swapped their bait and

always agreed on every point.


—Dunk to Dan and Dan to Dunk,—

Whenever he chawed would pass the

hunk;

Never a “hitch” more friendly than

That of the dog and Dunk and Dan.


They labored steady and labored square, fairly

dividing every fare,

And never could anything break their bonds,

each to the other would often swear.

But alas, one day in a joking way they fell on

the topic of years and age,

And tackled the subject of boughten teeth, and

spirited argument they did wage.

For Dan insisted that sets of teeth were glued

to the sides of the wearers’ jaws,

—Never had seen ’em, he frankly owned, but

he knew ’twas so, “wal, jest because.”

While Dunk, with notions fully as firm, clawed

at his frosty whisker fringe,

And allowed that he knew that sets of teeth

were hitched together with spring and

hinge.

So, still perverse, they argued on—the quarrel,

you see, was their very first;

’Twas as though they had taken a sip of brine;

the more they quaffed, the worse their

thirst.

They argued early and argued late and the dog

surveyed them with wistful look

For, the more they talked the worse they

balked, and forgot to fish or eat or cook.


Dan at Dunk and Dunk at Dan,

—On contention ran and ran,

And rancor spread its sullen fog

‘Twixt Dunk and Dan and the yaller

dog.

At last old Dunk uprose and cried, “Say old

hoss-mack’ril, blast yer hide,

I’m sick of clack and fuss and gab; it’s time, I

reckin, that we divide.

An’ seein’ as how I’ve spoke the fust, I’ll take

the starn-end here for mine.”

With chalk he zoned the dingy deck and roared,

“Git for’rard acrost that line!”

He lighted his pipe and twirled the wheel and

calmly then he crossed his knees.

“Go for’rard,” said he, “this end is mine an’

I’ll steer jest where I gol-durn please.”

For’rard went Dan with never a word, never

protested, never demurred,

But as soon as he reached the cat-head bolt the

sound of hammer on steel was heard.

Splash! went the anchor, and there they swung,

fast to the bottom on Doghead shoal;

“The bow-end’s mine,” yelled Dan to Dunk,

“now steer if ye want to, blast yer soul!”


Dunk to Dan, and Dan to Dunk—

Swore they’d sit there till she sunk.

Neither to compromise would incline,

And the dog stood straddling the mid-

dle line.


I’ll frankly own I cannot state how long en-

dured that sullen wait,

I only know they never returned and no one

ever has learned their fate.

Perhaps a gale with a lashing tail, champing

and roaring and frothing wild,

Clawed them tinder, as there they rode, or a

hooting liner over them piled.

But known it is that for days and weeks the

schooner swayed and sogged and tossed,

Straining her rusty cable-chains, before all

trace of her was lost.

No one knows how they met their death, but

certain it is that Dunk and Dan,

Each decided he’d rather die than surrender a

point to the other man.

Perhaps, at the end of a month or so, Dunk de-

cided he’d sink his half,

Or Dan touched match and burned his end,

then went to death with a scornful laugh.

However it was, this much is sure, that out

from the Grand Banks’ sombre fog,

Never came back the Pollywog smack, or

Dunk or Dan or the yaller dog.








THE AWFUL WAH-HOOH-WOW

She’s ashore in Gloucester harbor, with a

weary, lear y list,

An’ the mud is creepin’, creepin’ to her rail;

She’s sound in ev’ry timber—is the Mary of

the Mist,

But the broom is at her mast-head as a sign

that she’s for sale.

Yet no one wants to try her,

She cannot find a buyer—

The Hoodoo is upon her, an’ here I give the

tale.

(The story has a warnin’ that’s as plain as

plain can be,

An’ ’tis: Never go to triflin’ with the secrets

of the sea.)

Peter Perkinson, a P. I. from Prince Edward

Island, signed

With Foster’s folks of Gloucester for a

“chancin’ trip,” hand-lined;

An’ when we counted noses as we rounded

Giant’s Grist

We found the chap among us on the Mary of

the Mist.

An’ we sized him for a “conjer” ere we’d

fairly got to sea;

The wind was whiffin’ crooked, jest as mean as

mean could be;


P. I.” is colloquial term for Prince Edward

Islander.


Then the skipper spied the P. I. fubbin’ secret

at the mast,

An’ at once he got suspicious an’ he overhauled

him fast.

The chap had made some markin’s an’ he’d

driven in a nail—

Oh, we understood him perfect—he was raisin’

up a gale.

The skipper gave him tophet, but the damage

then was done—

The gale came up a-roarin’ with the settin’ of

the sun.

Then we wallered to the west’ard an’ we wal-

lered to the east,

An’ we seemed the core an’ bowels of a gob of

wind an’ yeast.

We smashed our way to suth’ard, an’ we clawed

an’ ratched to west,

There was scarcely time for eatin’; there was

never chance for rest,

With the liners slammin’ past us through the

fog an’ spume an’ rain,

An’ the Mary dodgin’ passers like a puppy in a

lane.

The third day found us flappin’ with a mighty

ragged wash,

The lee rail runnin’ under an’ the trawl tubs all

a-swash,

An’ at last the plummet told us we were backin’

to’ards the shoals,

Yet we couldn’t ratch an’ leave ’em with our

canvas rags an’ holes.

T ack—tack—tack—

Still a-slippin’ back;

‘Twas a time for meditatin’ on the prospects

for our souls.


Then up spoke Isaac Innis, with a starin’,

glarin’ glance,

An’ he says: “My friends, I’m lookin’

where I look!

I hain’t a saint in no way, an’ I’ll give a man a

chance,

But I think I see a Jonah if I hain’t a lot

mistook.

I reckon ye discern him,

Now over goes he, durn him,

Unless he squares the Hoodoo that he’s

brought, by hook or crook.”

(We stood there, grim an’ solemn, an’ we

bent our gaze upon

The stranger “conjer” sailor, that P. I.—

Perkinson.)


He never flinched nor quivered, though we’d

reckoned that he would,

He simply turned an’ faced us, an’ he says: “I

meant ye good.

I asked a breeze from suth’ard, but it slipped

an’ got away;

Still, you needn’t worry, shipmates! When I

owe a debt I’ll pay.”

He reeved a coil of hawser that the Mary car-

ried spare,

An’ fastened on a gang-hook an’ baited it with

care.

Then he took a magic vial an’ he sprinkled on

the bait

A charm that Splithoof gave him, it is safe to

calkerlate.

He hitched a dagon-sinker an’ he let the line

run free,

An’ overboard he fired it, kersplasho, in the

sea,

We didn’t get the language of the secret spells

he said,

But we gathered he was fishin’ on the deepest

ocean bed.

We heard him as he muttered an’ it seemed

that he could tell

What kind of fish was bitin’, with an eyesight

straight from hell.

“Ah, brim,” he sort o’ chanted as he gave the

line a twig—

An’ must pay his lawful tribute to the awful

Wah-hooh-wow.

We saw Its neck a-curvin’ an’ we heard Its red

tongue lick

As It drooled an’ swoofed the drippin’s, and

then, as one might pick

A ripe an’ juicy cherry, It grabbed that “con-

jer” man

An’ sank with coils a-flashin’ in the light from

old Cape Ann,

An’ we—we towed with dories till we got to

Gloucester shore—

An’ you’ll never get a Banksman on the Mary

any more.

No—no—no!

Not a man will go,

For her towage fee hain’t settled till the Wah-

hooh-wow takes four.


She’s ashore in Gloucester harbor with a

weary, leary list,

An’ the mud is creepin’, creepin’ to her rail;

She’s sound in ev’ry timber—is the Mary of

the Mist,

But the broom is at her mast-head as a sign

that she’s for sale.

Yet no one wants to try her,

She cannot find a buyer—

The Hoodoo is upon her, an’ I’ve given you the

tale.

(The story has a Warnin’ that’s as plain as

plain can be,

An’ ’tis: Never go to triflin’ with the secrets

of the sea.)









SKIPPER JASON ELLISON

His nose was like a liver hung against a Hub-

bard squash,

—That nose of Jason Ellison, the skipper of

the “Hanks.”

His nose was like a liver and the color wouldn’t

wash,

But the men that “chanced” on trips with him,

they always got the dosh,.

For there wa’n’t another skipper who could

touch him on the Banks.

Whether biz was tight or slack,

—When Jase came sailin’ back

A gang was always coaxin’ for a berth upon

his smack.

Not another Gloucester skipper

Had sech easy job to ship a

Topper-notcher fishin’ crew, with ev’ry man a

crack.

For, you see, he was a wizard;—he did won-

ders with that nose,

He could sniff and tell the weather-sign of ev’ry

gust that rose;

You could figure from its color’twas a most

uncommon snoot,

And whenever he predicted no one ventured to

dispute.

His eye could nail a fish-slick off a league or so

away,

—He could look around a corner, so his fel-

lows used to say;

But the thing’twas most uncommon—where

our whole dependence hung,

Was his long and round and peak-ed champion

taster of a tongue.

’Twas always out and chasin’ round the edges

of his lip;

When a nasty time was brewin’

It was always out and doin’

Like as though it felt responsible for helpin’

handle ship.


It had tasted ev’ry bottom soil from Quero to

the Cow,

It knew the taste and savor, the place and where

and how.

—Darkest night or wildest hurricane that ever

ramped or blew,

We never lost our bearin’s, for old Jason always

knew.

We would take some mutton taller and we’d

fill the hollowed head

Of the plummet, smooth and even, then a man

would throw the lead.

And we’d pass her back to Jason and he’d turn

the plummet up,

Taste the scrimp of soil that stuck there on the

taller in the cup,

And he’d tell us where we headed, though the

night be black’s a coal,

For he knew the taste of bottoms from the Cow

to Quero Shoal.

—Told us easy, off the reel,

What was underneath our keel,

—Didn’t need the sun or quadrant with old

Jason at the wheel;

He was only once mistaken in the memory of

men,

—And we’ve always kept insistin’ that he

wa’n’t mistaken then.


The storm came down upon us from the nor’-

nor’east by east,

—’Twas an equinoctial pealer,

A reg’lar ring-tail squealer,

The sky was hasty puddin’ and the sea beneath

was yeast.

When the Hanks went tossin’ up’ards it really

seemed we flew,

And the sky seemed splittin’ open for to let

our vessel through;

When we wallowed down wher-rooshin’ in the

gulf that gawped beneath,

We’d’a’ left our hearts behind us if we hadn’t

clinched our teeth.

We’d really seem to feel

Old Hankses’ battered keel

Go bumpin’ on the bottom when she made her

downward reel.

But the more she blew and blew,

Old Jason cheered his crew,

—His whiskers whipping snappin’ as the wind

went screamin’ through.

So we hung to brace and riggin’ and we let her

roar and roll,

While each man pinned to Ellison the safety of

his soul.


Then at last we knew’twas night-time by the

thick’nin’ overhead,

And Jason licked his taster and he yelled:

“Now throw the lead!”

An’ we—we blinked to watch him from the

darkness where we clung,

And waited for the verdict, of that long and

peak-ed tongue.

He tasted—then he waited, and he smacked his

lips a spell,

He tasted—tasted—tasted, then he gave an

awful yell:

“My God, ye critters, pray!”

—He slung the lead away,—

And howled: “The world is endin’! It’s the

final Judgment Day!

That plummet, there, has brought us up a hand-

ful of the loam

From the Widder Abbott’s garden on the Neck

ro’d, back at home.

A tidal wave has lifted us—the Hanks has run

away!

—It has tossed’er over Glo’ster,

And we sartin sure have lost’er,

’Less ye pray, ye sin-struck critters,’less ye

pray, pray, pray!”


Each clung to rope and stanchion, each hung to

stay and brace,

Each prayed up at the heavens while the spin-

drift lashed his face;

We prayed and prayed till mornin’

Till the early, yaller dawnin’

Lit up the sea around us, and it also lit our

case;

Then we found an explanation

Of the sing’lar situation

That was figgered in the darkness of the night

by Uncle Jase.

For we noticed there was settin’ up against the

le’ward rail

Some lavender and other yarbs, a-growin’ in a

pail.

—They’d been brought aboard by Jase

Who had worn a meechin’ face,

For his sparkin’ of the widder was the gossip

of the place.


He knowed a flower-garden looked peecooliar

on the Hanks,

But he wanted some momentum of the widder

on the Banks.

Now, the plummet bein’ handled in the dark-

ness of that night

Somehow cuffed that dirt in passin’—as ye

might say, took a bite.

And Jason knew the flavor of that scrimp of

garden loam,

—There wa’n’t a soil to fool him’twixt Quero

Shoal and home.

By the flavor and the feel

He could tell us off the reel,

The name of any bottom that was underneath

our keel.

He was only once mistaken in the memory of

men,

And his crew will keep insistin’ that he wa’n’t

mistaken then.