THE RIDE TO BUMPVILLE
Play that my knee was a calico mare
Saddled and bridled for Bumpville;
Leap to the back of this steed, if you dare,
And gallop away to Bumpville!
I hope you’ll be sure to sit fast in your seat,
For this calico mare is prodigiously fleet,
And many adventures you’re likely to meet
As you journey along to Bumpville.
This calico mare both gallops and trots
While whisking you off to Bumpville;
She paces, she shies, and she stumbles, in spots,
In the tortuous road to Bumpville;
And sometimes this strangely mercurial steed
Will suddenly stop and refuse to proceed,
Which, all will admit, is vexatious indeed,
When one is en route to Bumpville!
She’s scared of the cars when the engine goes “Toot!”
Down by the crossing at Bumpville;
You’d better look out for that treacherous brute
Bearing you off to Bumpville!
With a snort she rears up on her hindermost heels,
And executes jigs and Virginia reels—
Words fail to explain how embarrassed one feels
Dancing so wildly to Bumpville!
It’s bumpytybump and it’s jiggytyjog,
Journeying on to Bumpville;
It’s over the hilltop and down through the bog
You ride on your way to Bumpville;
It’s rattletybang over boulder and stump,
There are rivers to ford, there are fences to jump,
And the corduroy road it goes bumpytybump,
Mile after mile to Bumpville!
Perhaps you’ll observe it’s no easy thing
Making the journey to Bumpville,
So I think, on the whole, it were prudent to bring
An end to this ride to Bumpville;
For, though she has uttered no protest or plaint,
The calico mare must be blowing and faint—
What’s more to the point, I’m blowed if I ain’t!
So play we have got to Bumpville!