The Project Gutenberg eBook of Point Lace and Diamonds
Title: Point Lace and Diamonds
Author: George Augustus Baker
Illustrator: Francis Day
Release date: August 21, 2005 [eBook #16568]
Most recently updated: December 12, 2020
Language: English
Credits: Produced by Barbara Tozier, Melissa Er-Raqabi and the
Online Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net.
POINT LACE
AND
DIAMONDS
BY
GEORGE A. BAKER, JR.
AUTHOR OF
"The Bad Habits of Good Society," "West Point," etc.
NEW AND REVISED EDITION
WITH NUMEROUS NEW POEMS
NEW YORK
FREDERICK A. STOKES COMPANY
MDCCCXCIII
Copyrighted in 1875, by F.B. Patterson.
Copyright, 1886,
By White, Stokes, & Allen.
CONTENTS.
Transcriber's Note: Possible typos and irregularities in indentation and word usage have been left as found in the original. There are places where punctuation may not have been correctly picked up by the scanning software; please consult another source if you require complete accuracy.
RETROSPECTION.
Through hills, and dells, and doleful green'ry,
Lodging at any carnal door,
Sustaining life on pork, and scenery.
A weary scribe, I'd just let slip
My collar, for a short vacation,
And started on a walking trip,
That cheapest form of dissipation—
That I, prosaic, rather hate your
"Ode to a Sky-lark" sort of men;
I really am not fond of Nature.
Mad longing for a decent meal
And decent clothing overcame me;
There came a blister on my heel—
I gave it up; and who can blame me?
Which I procured some little cash on,
And quickly packed me to depart
In search of "gilded haunts" of fashion,
Which I might puff at column rates,
To please my host and meet my reckoning;
"Base is the slave who"—hesitates
When wealth, and pleasure both are beckoning.
I had my share of small successes,
Made languid love to languid belles
And penn'd descriptions of their dresses.
Ah! Millionairess Millicent,
How fair you were! How you adored me!
How many tender hours we spent—
And, oh, beloved, how you bored me!
April, 1871.
Of my young verse a perfect prism,
Where worldly knowledge, pleasant wit,
True humor, kindly cynicism,
Refracted by the frolic glass
Of Fancy, play with change incessant?
June, 1874.
I must have been, when adolescent!
August, 1886.
A ROSEBUD IN LENT.
A soufflé, lace and roses blent;
Your worldly worship moved her then;
She does not know you now, in Lent.
Bear not one gem of all her store.
Her face is saint-like. Be rebuked
By those pure eyes, and gaze no more
The lesson she has dumbly taught—
That bright young creature kneeling there
With every feeling, every thought
Of—new Spring dresses truth to say,
To them the time is sanctified
From Shrove-tide until Easter day.
| "SEE HER AT PRAYER! HER PLEADING HANDS |
| BEAR NOT ONE GEM OF ALL HER STORE." —Page 4. |
A REFORMER.
And bid me give my life an aim!—
You're most unjust, dear. Hear me out,
And own your hastiness to blame.
I live with but a single thought;
My inmost heart and soul are set
On one sole task—a mighty one—
To simplify our alphabet.
They're A, and E, I, O, and U:
I mean to cut them down to four.
You "wonder what good that will do."
Why, this cold earth will bloom again,
Eden itself be half re-won,
When breaks the dawn of my success
And U and I at last are one.
IN THE RECORD ROOM, SURROGATE'S OFFICE.
Where buried papers, fold on fold,
Crumble to dust, that 'thwart the sun
Floats dim, a pallid ghost of gold.
The day is dying. All about,
Dark, threat'ning shadows lurk; but still
I ponder o'er a dead girl's name
Fast fading from a dead man's will.
Sole heiress of your father's land,
Full many a gallant wooer rode
To snare your heart, to win your hand.
And one, perchance—who loved you best,
Feared men might sneer—"he sought her gold"—
And never spoke, but turned away
Stubborn and proud, to call you cold.
And mourned him all a virgin life.
Perhaps forgot his very name
As happy mother, happy wife.
Unanswered, sad, I turn away—
"You loved her first, then?" First—well—no—
You little goose, the Harland will
Was proved full sixty years ago.
To lawyers as the Glass House tract;
Who were her heirs, no record shows;
The title's bad, in point of fact,
If she left children, at her death,
I've been retained to clear the title;
And all the questions, raised above,
Are, you'll perceive, extremely vital.
DE LUNATICO.
The western hills, their armor glances,
Their crimson banners wide unfold,
Low-levelled lie their golden lances.
The shadows lurk along the shore,
Where, as our row-boat lightly passes,
The ripples startled by our oar,
Hide murmuring 'neath the hanging grasses.
Is lingering on your lids—forgetting
How late it is—for one last sight
Of you the sun delays his setting.
One hand droops idly from the boat,
And round the white and swaying fingers,
Like half-blown lilies gone afloat,
The amorous water, toying, lingers.
Your gentle eyes concealing, under
Their drooping lids a laughing look
That's partly fun, and partly wonder
That I, a man of presence grave,
Who fight for bread 'neath Themis' banner
Should all at once begin to rave
In this—I trust—Aldrichian manner.
The mill-pond of a Yankee village,
Its swelling shores devoted to
The various forms of kitchen tillage;
That you're no more a maiden fair,
And I no lover, young and glowing;
Just an old, sober, married pair,
Who, after tea, have gone out rowing
PRO PATRIA ET GLORIA.
Fair are the maidens who throng our halls;
Soft, through the warm and perfumed air,
The languid music swells and falls.
The "Seventh" dances and flirts to-night—
All we are fit for, so they say,
We fops and weaklings, who masquerade
As soldiers, sometimes, in black and gray.
But, in a fight, we'd be sure to run.
Defend you! pshaw, the thought's absurd!
How about April, sixty-one?
What was it made your dull blood thrill?
Why did you cheer, and weep, and pray?
Why did each pulse of your hearts mark time
To the tramp of the boys in black and gray?
When down in the South the war-cloud burst;
"Troops for the front!" Do you ever think
Who answered, and marched, and got there first?
Whose bayonets first scared Maryland?
Whose were the colors that showed the way?
Who set the step for the marching North?
Some holiday soldiers in black and gray.
"Too pretty by far to take under fire!"
A pretty boy in a pretty suit
Lay once in Bethel's bloody mire.
The first to fall in the war's first fight—
Raise him tenderly. Wash away
The blood and mire from the pretty suit;
For Winthrop died in the black and gray.
When the city fluttered in abject fear,
'Neath the mob's rude grasp, who ever thought—
"God! if the Seventh were only here!"
Our drums were heard—the ruffian crew
Grew tired of riot the self-same day—
By chance of course—you don't suppose
They feared the dandies in black and gray!
While the waltzes dream in the drill-room arch,
What would we do if the order came,
Sudden and sharp—"Let the Seventh march!"
Why, we'd faint, of course; our cheeks would pale;
Our knees would tremble, our fears—but stay,
That order I think has come ere this
To those holiday troops in black and gray.
In a storm of cheers, and the drill-room floor
Would ring with rifles. Why, you fools,
We'd do as we've always done before!
Do our duty! Take what comes
With laugh and jest, be it feast or fray—
But we're dandies—yes, for we'd rather die
Than sully the pride of our black and gray.
AFTER THE GERMAN.
a sophomore soliloquy.
Chalk loosely held in my hand,
Sun-gilded motes in the air all around me,
Listlessly dreaming I stand.
In characters gracefully slight,
As the festal-robed beauties whose fairy feet flitted
Through the maze of the German last night!
For sine, or co-ordinate plane,
When fairy musicians are playing the "Mabel,"
And waltzes each nerve in my brain!
That only last night sparkled there,
By the galop's wild whirl shower'd down on my shoulder
From turbulent tresses of hair.
Not music's voluptuous swell;
Alas! this is life,—so pass mortal pleasures,
And,—thank goodness, there goes the bell!
AN IDYL OF THE PERIOD.
in two parts.
part one.
Find a chair, and get a light."
"Well, old man, recovered yet
From the Mather's jam last night?"
"Didn't dance. The German's old."
"Didn't you? I had to lead—
Awful bore! Did you go home?"
"No. Sat out with Molly Meade.
Jolly little girl she is—
Said she didn't care to dance,
'D rather sit and talk to me—
Then she gave me such a glance!
So, when you had cleared the room,
And impounded all the chairs,
Having nowhere else, we two
Took possession of the stairs.
I was on the lower step,
Molly, on the next above,
Gave me her bouquet to hold,
Asked me to undo her glove.
Then, of course, I squeezed her hand,
Talked about my wasted life;
'Ah! if I could only win
Some true woman for my wife,
How I'd love her—work for her!
Hand in hand through life we'd walk—
No one ever cared for me—'
Takes a girl—that kind of talk.
Then, you know, I used my eyes—
She believed me, every word—
Said I 'mustn't talk so'—Jove!
Such a voice you never heard.
Gave me some symbolic flower,—
'Had a meaning, oh, so sweet,'—
Don't know where it is, I'm sure;
Must have dropped it in the street.
How I spooned!—And she—ha! ha!—
Well, I know it wasn't right—
But she pitied me so much
That I—kissed her—pass a light."
| "WE TWO TOOK POSSESSION OF THE STAIRS." —Page 18. |
part two.
Who'd have thought of seeing you,
After what occurred last night,
Out here on the Avenue!
Oh, you awful! awful girl!
There, don't blush, I saw it all."
"Saw all what?" "Ahem! last night—
At the Mather's—in the hall."
"Oh, you horrid—where were you?
Wasn't he the biggest goose!
Most men must be caught, but he
Ran his own neck in the noose.
I was almost dead to dance,
I'd have done it if I could,
But old Grey said I must stop,
And I promised Ma I would.
So I looked up sweet, and said
That I'd rather talk to him;
Hope he didn't see me laugh,
Luckily the lights were dim.
My, how he did squeeze my hand!
And he looked up in my face
With his lovely big brown eyes—
Really it's a dreadful case.
'Earnest!'—I should think he was!
Why, I thought I'd have to laugh
When he kissed a flower he took,
Looking, oh! like such a calf.
I suppose he's got it now,
In a wine-glass on his shelves;
It's a mystery to me
Why men will deceive themselves.
'Saw him kiss me!'—Oh, you wretch;
Well, he begged so hard for one—
And I thought there'd no one know—
So I—let him, just for fun.
I know it really wasn't right
To trifle with his feelings, dear,
But men are such stuck-up things;
He'll recover—never fear."
CHIVALRIE.
Annie Leslie and I together;
She was trimming her sea-side hat
With leaves—we talked about the weather.
With rippling waves of golden glory,
And eyes of blue, and ringlets fair,
Suggested many an ancient story
In durance held by grim magicians,
Of knights in armor rough with gold,
Who rescued them from such positions.
Beneath our feet the sleeping ocean,
E'en as the sky my hope was bright,
Deep as the sea was my devotion.
He'd made a fortune tanning leather;
I was his clerk; I thought it good
To keep on talking about the weather.
| "THE SUNBEAMS LIT HER GLEAMING HAIR |
| WITH RIPPLING WAVES OF GOLDEN GLORY." —Page 22. |
A PIECE OF ADVICE.
And lead a life sober and quiet?
There, there, I don't doubt the intention's sincere.
But wait till occasion shall try it.—
Is Ramsay engaged?
Now, don't look enraged!
You like him, I know—don't deny it!
Why, Nell, what's the use? You're so pretty,
That your beauty all sense of your wickedness drowns
When, some time, in country or city,
Your fate comes at last.
We'll forgive all the past,
And think of you only with pity.
"The legions of hearts you've been breaking
Your conscience affright, and your reckoning perplex,
Whene'er an account you've been taking!"
"I'd scarcely believe
How deeply you grieve
At the mischief your eyes have been making!"
It lightens its doughy compactness.
Don't always—the world with deception is rife—
Construe what men say with exactness!
I pity the girl,
In society's whirl,
Who's troubled with matter-of-factness.
But rosebuds and violets are charming,
Men don't wear the same boutonniére every day.
Taste changes.—Flirtation alarming!
If e'er we complain,
You then may refrain,
Your eyes of their arrows disarming.
To counsel a victim advances;
Your eyes, I acknowledge, will make our hearts bleed,
Pierced through by love's magical lances.
But better that fate
Than in darkness to wait;
Unsought by your mischievous glances.
| "WHAT! GIVE UP FLIRTATION? CHANGE DIMPLES FOR FROWNS?" —Page 24. |
ZWEI KONIGE AUF ORKADAL.
from the german.
The torches flamed in the pillared hall.
The two kings drink with gloomy brows.
With her sea-blue eyes, and brow of pearl."
"She's mine, oh brother!—my oath is sworn."
In their golden sheaths the keen swords ring.
Deep lies the snow by the castle-wall.
Two kings lie dead upon Orkadal.
A SONG.
I shouldn't like to say,
Why I think of you more, and more, and more
As day flits after day.
Nor why I see in the Summer skies
Only the beauty of your sweet eyes,
The power by which you sway
A kingdom of hearts, that little you prize—
I shouldn't like to say.
I shouldn't like to say
Why I hear your voice, so fresh and pure,
In the dash of the laughing spray.
Nor why the wavelets that all the while,
In many a diamond-glittering file,
With truant sunbeams play,
Should make me remember your rippling smile—
I shouldn't like to say.
I shouldn't like to say,
Why all the birds should chirp of you,
Who live so far away.
Robin and oriole sing to me
From the leafy depths of our apple-tree,
With trunk so gnarled and gray—
But why your name should their burden be
I shouldn't like to say.
MAKING NEW YEAR'S CALLS.
Tie of spotless white;
Through the muddy weather
Rushing 'round till night.
Gutters all o'erflowing,
Like Niagara Falls;
Bless me! this is pleasant,
Making New Year's calls.
Ringing at the bell—
"Mrs. Jones receive to-day?"
"Yes, sir." "Very well."
Sending in your pasteboard,
Waiting in the halls,
Bless me! this is pleasant,
Making New Year's calls.
Bowing to the floor,
Lady of the house there,
Half a dozen more;
Ladies' dresses gorgeous,
Paniers, waterfalls,—
Bless me! this is pleasant,
Making New Year's calls.
"Many thanks, I'm sure."
"Many calls, as usual?"
"No; I think they're fewer."
Staring at the carpet,
Gazing at the walls;
Bless me! this is pleasant,
Making New Year's calls.
Wish I had more leisure."
"Wont you have a glass of wine?"
"Ah, thanks!—greatest pleasure."
Try to come the graceful,
Till your wine-glass falls;
Bless me! this is pleasant,
Making New Year's calls.
Out of doors you rush;
Sit down at the crossing,
In a sea of slush.
Job here for your tailor—
Herr Von Schneiderthals—
Bless me! this is pleasant,
Making New Year's calls.
Heart with anguish torn.
Sunday-go-to-meetings
In a state forlorn.
Kick a gibing boot-black,
Gibing boot-black bawls,
Bless me! this is pleasant,
Making New Year's calls.
JACK AND ME.
Do it for jest five cents.
Get 'em fixed in a minute,—
That is, 'f nothing perwents.
Set your foot right there, sir.
Mornin's kinder cold,—
Goes right through a feller,
When his coat's a gittin' old.
Well, yes,—call it a coat, sir,
Though 't aint much more 'n a tear.
Git another!—I can't, boss;
Ain't got the stamps to spare.
"Make as much as most on 'em!"
Yes; but then, yer see,
They've only got one to do for,—
There's two on us, Jack and me.
Him?—Why, that little feller
With a curus lookin' back,
Sittin' there on the gratin',
Warmin' hisself,—that's Jack.
Used to go round sellin' papers,
The cars there was his lay;
But he got shoved off of the platform
Under the wheels one day.
Fact,—the conductor did it,—
Gin him a reg'lar throw,—
He didn't care if he killed him;
Some on 'em is just so.
He's never been all right since, sir,
Sorter quiet and queer;
Him and me goes together,
He's what they call cashier.
Style, that 'ere, for a boot-black,—
Made the fellers laugh;
Jack and me had to take it,
But we don't mind no chaff.
Trouble!—not much, you bet, boss!
Sometimes, when biz is slack,
I don't know how I'd manage
If 't wa'n't for little Jack.
You jest once orter hear him:
He says we needn't care
How rough luck is down here, sir,
If some day we git up there.
All done now,—how's that, sir?
Shines like a pair of lamps.
Mornin'!—Give it to Jack, sir,
He looks after the stamps.