WRONGS OF WOMAN:

OR,

MARIA.

A FRAGMENT.

IN TWO VOLUMES.

VOL. II.

WRONGS

CHAP. IX.

"I Reſume my pen to fly from thought. I was married; and we haſtened to London. I had purpoſed taking one of my ſiſters with me; for a ſtrong motive for marrying, was the deſire of having a home at which I could receive them, now their own grew ſo uncomfortable, as not to deſerve the cheering appellation. An objection was made to her accompanying me, that appeared plauſible; and I reluctantly acquieſced. I was however willingly allowed to take with me Molly, poor Peggy's daughter. London and preferment, are ideas commonly aſſociated in the country; and, as blooming as May, ſhe bade adieu to Peggy with weeping eyes. I did not even feel hurt at the refuſal in relation to my ſiſter, till hearing what my uncle had done for me, I had the ſimplicity to requeſt, ſpeaking with warmth of their ſituation, that he would give them a thouſand pounds a-piece, which ſeemed to me but juſtice. He aſked me, giving me a kiſs, 'If I had loſt my ſenſes?' I ſtarted back, as if I had found a waſp in a roſe-buſh. I expoſtulated. He ſneered; and the demon of diſcord entered our paradiſe, to poiſon with his peſtiferous breath every opening joy.

"I had ſometimes obſerved defects in my huſband's underſtanding; but, led aſtray by a prevailing opinion, that goodneſs of diſpoſition is of the firſt importance in the relative ſituations of life, in proportion as I perceived the narrowneſs of his underſtanding, fancy enlarged the boundary of his heart. Fatal error! How quickly is the ſo much vaunted milkineſs of nature turned into gall, by an intercourſe with the world, if more generous juices do not ſuſtain the vital ſource of virtue!

"One trait in my character was extreme credulity; but, when my eyes were once opened, I ſaw but too clearly all I had before overlooked. My huſband was ſunk in my eſteem; ſtill there are youthful emotions, which, for a while, fill up the chaſm of love and friendſhip. Beſides, it required ſome time to enable me to ſee his whole character in a juſt light, or rather to allow it to become fixed. While circumſtances were ripening my faculties, and cultivating my taſte, commerce and groſs relaxations were ſhutting his againſt any poſſibility of improvement, till, by ſtifling every ſpark of virtue in himſelf, he began to imagine that it no where exiſted.

"Do not let me lead you aſtray, my child, I do not mean to aſſert, that any human being is entirely incapable of feeling the generous emotions, which are the foundation of every true principle of virtue; but they are frequently, I fear, ſo feeble, that, like the inflammable quality which more or leſs lurks in all bodies, they often lie for ever dormant; the circumſtances never occurring, neceſſary to call them into action.

"I diſcovered however by chance, that, in conſequence of ſome loſſes in trade, the natural effect of his gambling deſire to ſtart ſuddenly into riches, the five thouſand pounds given me by my uncle, had been paid very opportunely. This diſcovery, ſtrange as you may think the aſſertion, gave me pleaſure; my huſband's embarraſſments endeared him to me. I was glad to find an excuſe for his conduct to my ſiſters, and my mind became calmer.

"My uncle introduced me to ſome literary ſociety; and the theatres were a never-failing ſource of amuſement to me. My delighted eye followed Mrs. Siddons, when, with dignified delicacy, ſhe played Caliſta; and I involuntarily repeated after her, in the ſame tone, and with a long-drawn ſigh,

"Theſe were, at firſt, ſpontaneous emotions, though, becoming acquainted with men of wit and poliſhed manners, I could not ſometimes help regretting my early marriage; and that, in my haſte to eſcape from a temporary dependence, and expand my newly fledged wings, in an unknown ſky, I had been caught in a trap, and caged for life. Still the novelty of London, and the attentive fondneſs of my huſband, for he had ſome perſonal regard for me, made ſeveral months glide away. Yet, not forgetting the ſituation of my ſiſters, who were ſtill very young, I prevailed on my uncle to ſettle a thouſand pounds on each; and to place them in a ſchool near town, where I could frequently viſit, as well as have them at home with me.

"I now tried to improve my huſband's taſte, but we had few ſubjects in common; indeed he ſoon appeared to have little reliſh for my ſociety, unleſs he was hinting to me the uſe he could make of my uncle's wealth. When we had company, I was diſguſted by an oſtentatious diſplay of riches, and I have often quitted the room, to avoid liſtening to exaggerated tales of money obtained by lucky hits.

"With all my attention and affectionate intereſt, I perceived that I could not become the friend or confident of my huſband. Every thing I learned relative to his affairs I gathered up by accident; and I vainly endeavoured to eſtabliſh, at our fire-ſide, that ſocial converſe, which often renders people of different characters dear to each other. Returning from the theatre, or any amuſing party, I frequently began to relate what I had ſeen and highly reliſhed; but with ſullen taciturnity he ſoon ſilenced me. I ſeemed therefore gradually to loſe, in his ſociety, the ſoul, the energies of which had juſt been in action. To ſuch a degree, in fact, did his cold, reſerved manner affect me, that, after ſpending ſome days with him alone, I have imagined myſelf the moſt ſtupid creature in the world, till the abilities of ſome caſual viſitor convinced me that I had ſome dormant animation, and ſentiments above the duſt in which I had been groveling. The very countenance of my huſband changed; his complexion became ſallow, and all the charms of youth were vaniſhing with its vivacity.

"I give you one view of the ſubject; but theſe experiments and alterations took up the ſpace of five years; during which period, I had moſt reluctantly extorted ſeveral ſums from my uncle, to ſave my huſband, to uſe his own words, from deſtruction. At firſt it was to prevent bills being noted, to the injury of his credit; then to bail him; and afterwards to prevent an execution from entering the houſe. I began at laſt to conclude, that he would have made more exertions of his own to extricate himſelf, had he not relied on mine, cruel as was the taſk he impoſed on me; and I firmly determined that I would make uſe of no more pretexts.

"From the moment I pronounced this determination, indifference on his part was changed into rudeneſs, or ſomething worſe.

"He now ſeldom dined at home, and continually returned at a late hour, drunk, to bed. I retired to another apartment; I was glad, I own, to eſcape from his; for perſonal intimacy without affection, ſeemed, to me the moſt degrading, as well as the moſt painful ſtate in which a woman of any taſte, not to ſpeak of the peculiar delicacy of foſtered ſenſibility, could be placed. But my huſband's fondneſs for women was of the groſſeſt kind, and imagination was ſo wholly out of the queſtion, as to render his indulgences of this ſort entirely promiſcuous, and of the moſt brutal nature. My health ſuffered, before my heart was entirely eſtranged by the loathſome information; could I then have returned to his ſullied arms, but as a victim to the prejudices of mankind, who have made women the property of their huſbands? I diſcovered even, by his converſation, when intoxicated, that his favourites were wantons of the loweſt claſs, who could by their vulgar, indecent mirth, which he called nature, rouſe his ſluggiſh ſpirits. Meretricious ornaments and manners were neceſſary to attract his attention. He ſeldom looked twice at a modeſt woman, and ſat ſilent in their company; and the charms of youth and beauty had not the ſlighteſt effect on his ſenſes, unleſs the poſſeſſors were initiated in vice. His intimacy with profligate women, and his habits of thinking, gave him a contempt for female endowments; and he would repeat, when wine had looſed his tongue, moſt of the common-place ſarcaſms levelled at them, by men who do not allow them to have minds, becauſe mind would be an impediment to groſs enjoyment. Men who are inferior to their fellow men, are always moſt anxious to eſtabliſh their ſuperiority over women. But where are theſe reflections leading me?

"Women who have loſt their huſband's affection, are juſtly reproved for neglecting their perſons, and not taking the ſame pains to keep, as to gain a heart; but who thinks of giving the ſame advice to men, though women are continually ſtigmatized for being attached to fops; and from the nature of their education, are more ſuſceptible of diſguſt? Yet why a woman ſhould be expected to endure a ſloven, with more patience than a man, and magnanimouſly to govern herſelf, I cannot conceive; unleſs it be ſuppoſed arrogant in her to look for reſpect as well as a maintenance. It is not eaſy to be pleaſed, becauſe, after promiſing to love, in different circumſtances, we are told that it is our duty. I cannot, I am ſure (though, when attending the ſick, I never felt diſguſt) forget my own ſenſations, when riſing with health and ſpirit, and after ſcenting the ſweet morning, I have met my huſband at the breakfaſt table. The active attention I had been giving to domeſtic regulations, which were generally ſettled before he roſe, or a walk, gave a glow to my countenance, that contraſted with his ſquallid appearance. The ſqueamiſhneſs of ſtomach alone, produced by the laſt night's intemperance, which he took no pains to conceal, deſtroyed my appetite. I think I now ſee him lolling in an arm-chair, in a dirty powdering gown, ſoiled linen, ungartered ſtockings, and tangled hair, yawning and ſtretching himſelf. The newſpaper was immediately called for, if not brought in on the tea-board, from which he would ſcarcely lift his eyes while I poured out the tea, excepting to aſk for ſome brandy to put into it, or to declare that he could not eat. In anſwer to any queſtion, in his beſt humour, it was a drawling 'What do you ſay, child?' But if I demanded money for the houſe expences, which I put off till the laſt moment, his cuſtomary reply, often prefaced with an oath, was, 'Do you think me, madam, made of money?'—The butcher, the baker, muſt wait; and, what was worſe, I was often obliged to witneſs his ſurly diſmiſſion of tradeſmen, who were in want of their money, and whom I ſometimes paid with the preſents my uncle gave me for my own uſe.

"At this juncture my father's miſtreſs, by terrifying his conſcience, prevailed on him to marry her; he was already become a methodiſt; and my brother, who now practiſed for himſelf, had diſcovered a flaw in the ſettlement made on my mother's children, which ſet it aſide, and he allowed my father, whoſe diſtreſs made him ſubmit to any thing, a tithe of his own, or rather our fortune.

"My ſiſters had left ſchool, but were unable to endure home, which my father's wife rendered as diſagreeable as poſſible, to get rid of girls whom ſhe regarded as ſpies on her conduct. They were accompliſhed, yet you can (may you never be reduced to the ſame deſtitute ſtate!) ſcarcely conceive the trouble I had to place them in the ſituation of governeſſes, the only one in which even a well-educated woman, with more than ordinary talents, can ſtruggle for a ſubſiſtence; and even this is a dependence next to menial. Is it then ſurpriſing, that ſo many forlorn women, with human paſſions and feelings, take refuge in infamy? Alone in large manſions, I ſay alone, becauſe they had no companions with whom they could converſe on equal terms, or from whom they could expect the endearments of affection, they grew melancholy, and the ſound of joy made them ſad; and the youngeſt, having a more delicate frame, fell into a decline. It was with great difficulty that I, who now almoſt ſupported the houſe by loans from my uncle, could prevail on the maſter of it, to allow her a room to die in. I watched her ſick bed for ſome months, and then cloſed her eyes, gentle ſpirit! for ever. She was pretty, with very engaging manners; yet had never an opportunity to marry, excepting to a very old man. She had abilities ſufficient to have ſhone in any profeſſion, had there been any profeſſions for women, though ſhe ſhrunk at the name of milliner or mantua-maker as degrading to a gentlewoman. I would not term this feeling falſe pride to any one but you, my child, whom I fondly hope to ſee (yes; I will indulge the hope for a moment!) poſſeſſed of that energy of character which gives dignity to any ſtation; and with that clear, firm ſpirit that will enable you to chooſe a ſituation for yourſelf, or ſubmit to be claſſed in the loweſt, if it be the only one in which you can be the miſtreſs of your own actions.

"Soon after the death of my ſiſter, an incident occurred, to prove to me that the heart of a libertine is dead to natural affection; and to convince me, that the being who has appeared all tenderneſs, to gratify a ſelfiſh paſſion, is as regardleſs of the innocent fruit of it, as of the object, when the fit is over. I had caſually obſerved an old, mean-looking woman, who called on my huſband every two or three months to receive ſome money. One day entering the paſſage of his little counting-houſe, as ſhe was going out, I heard her ſay, 'The child is very weak; ſhe cannot live long, ſhe will ſoon die out of your way, ſo you need not grudge her a little phyſic.'

"'So much the better,' he replied, 'and pray mind your own buſineſs, good woman.'

"I was ſtruck by his unfeeling, inhuman tone of voice, and drew back, determined when the woman came again, to try to ſpeak to her, not out of curioſity, I had heard enough, but with the hope of being uſeful to a poor, outcaſt girl.

"A month or two elapſed before I ſaw this woman again; and then ſhe had a child in her hand that tottered along, ſcarcely able to ſuſtain her own weight. They were going away, to return at the hour Mr. Venables was expected; he was now from home. I deſired the woman to walk into the parlour. She heſitated, yet obeyed. I aſſured her that I ſhould not mention to my huſband (the word ſeemed to weigh on my reſpiration), that I had ſeen her, or his child. The woman ſtared at me with aſtoniſhment; and I turned my eyes on the ſqualid object [that accompanied her.] She could hardly ſupport herſelf, her complexion was ſallow, and her eyes inflamed, with an indeſcribable look of cunning, mixed with the wrinkles produced by the peeviſhneſs of pain.

"'Poor child!' I exclaimed. 'Ah! you may well ſay poor child,' replied the woman. 'I brought her here to ſee whether he would have the heart to look at her, and not get ſome advice. I do not know what they deſerve who nurſed her. Why, her legs bent under her like a bow when ſhe came to me, and ſhe has never been well ſince; but, if they were no better paid than I am, it is not to be wondered at, ſure enough.'

"On further enquiry I was informed, that this miſerable ſpectacle was the daughter of a ſervant, a country girl, who caught Mr. Venables' eye, and whom he ſeduced. On his marriage he ſent her away, her ſituation being too viſible. After her delivery, ſhe was thrown on the town; and died in an hoſpital within the year. The babe was ſent to a pariſh-nurſe, and afterwards to this woman, who did not ſeem much better; but what was to be expected from ſuch a cloſe bargain? She was only paid three ſhillings a week for board and waſhing.

"The woman begged me to give her ſome old clothes for the child, aſſuring me, that ſhe was almoſt afraid to aſk maſter for money to buy even a pair of ſhoes.

"I grew ſick at heart. And, fearing Mr. Venables might enter, and oblige me to expreſs my abhorrence, I haſtily enquired where ſhe lived, promiſed to pay her two ſhillings a week more, and to call on her in a day or two; putting a trifle into her hand as a proof of my good intention.

"If the ſtate of this child affected me, what were my feelings at a diſcovery I made reſpecting Peggy——?[22-A]

CHAP. X.

"This was the firſt time I had viſited my native village, ſince my marriage. But with what different emotions did I return from the buſy world, with a heavy weight of experience benumbing my imagination, to ſcenes, that whiſpered recollections of joy and hope moſt eloquently to my heart! The firſt ſcent of the wild flowers from the heath, thrilled through my veins, awakening every ſenſe to pleaſure. The icy hand of deſpair ſeemed to be removed from my boſom; and—forgetting my huſband—the nurtured viſions of a romantic mind, burſting on me with all their original wildneſs and gay exuberance, were again hailed as ſweet realities. I forgot, with equal facility, that I ever felt ſorrow, or knew care in the country; while a tranſient rainbow ſtole athwart the cloudy ſky of deſpondency. The pictureſque form of ſeveral favourite trees, and the porches of rude cottages, with their ſmiling hedges, were recognized with the gladſome playfulneſs of childiſh vivacity. I could have kiſſed the chickens that pecked on the common; and longed to pat the cows, and frolic with the dogs that ſported on it. I gazed with delight on the windmill, and thought it lucky that it ſhould be in motion, at the moment I paſſed by; and entering the dear green lane, which led directly to the village, the ſound of the well-known rookery gave that ſentimental tinge to the varying ſenſations of my active ſoul, which only ſerved to heighten the luſtre of the luxuriant ſcenery. But, ſpying, as I advanced, the ſpire, peeping over the withered tops of the aged elms that compoſed the rookery, my thoughts flew immediately to the church-yard, and tears of affection, ſuch was the effect of my imagination, bedewed my mother's grave! Sorrow gave place to devotional feelings. I wandered through the church in fancy, as I uſed ſometimes to do on a Saturday evening. I recollected with what fervour I addreſſed the God of my youth: and once more with rapturous love looked above my ſorrows to the Father of nature. I pauſe—feeling forcibly all the emotions I am deſcribing; and (reminded, as I regiſter my ſorrows, of the ſublime calm I have felt, when in ſome tremendous ſolitude, my ſoul reſted on itſelf, and ſeemed to fill the univerſe) I inſenſibly breathe ſoft, huſhing every wayward emotion, as if fearing to ſully with a ſigh, a contentment ſo extatic.

"Having ſettled my father's affairs, and, by my exertions in his favour, made my brother my ſworn foe, I returned to London. My huſband's conduct was now changed; I had during my abſence, received ſeveral affectionate, penitential letters from him; and he ſeemed on my arrival, to wiſh by his behaviour to prove his ſincerity. I could not then conceive why he acted thus; and, when the ſuſpicion darted into my head, that it might ariſe from obſerving my increaſing influence with my uncle, I almoſt deſpiſed myſelf for imagining that ſuch a degree of debaſing ſelfiſhneſs could exiſt.

"He became, unaccountable as was the change, tender and attentive; and, attacking my weak ſide, made a confeſſion of his follies, and lamented the embarraſſments in which I, who merited a far different fate, might be involved. He beſought me to aid him with my counſel, praiſed my underſtanding, and appealed to the tenderneſs of my heart.

"This conduct only inſpired me with compaſſion. I wiſhed to be his friend; but love had ſpread his roſy pinions, and fled far, far away; and had not (like ſome exquiſite perfumes, the fine ſpirit of which is continually mingling with the air) left a fragrance behind, to mark where he had ſhook his wings. My huſband's renewed careſſes then became hateful to me; his brutality was tolerable, compared to his diſtaſteful fondneſs. Still, compaſſion, and the fear of inſulting his ſuppoſed feelings, by a want of ſympathy, made me diſſemble, and do violence to my delicacy. What a taſk!

"Thoſe who ſupport a ſyſtem of what I term falſe refinement, and will not allow great part of love in the female, as well as male breaſt, to ſpring in ſome reſpects involuntarily, may not admit that charms are as neceſſary to feed the paſſion, as virtues to convert the mellowing ſpirit into friendſhip. To ſuch obſervers I have nothing to ſay, any more than to the moraliſts, who inſiſt that women ought to, and can love their huſbands, becauſe it is their duty. To you, my child, I may add, with a heart tremblingly alive to your future conduct, ſome obſervations, dictated by my preſent feelings, on calmly reviewing this period of my life. When noveliſts or moraliſts praiſe as a virtue, a woman's coldneſs of conſtitution, and want of paſſion; and make her yield to the ardour of her lover out of ſheer compaſſion, or to promote a frigid plan of future comfort, I am diſguſted. They may be good women, in the ordinary acceptation of the phraſe, and do no harm; but they appear to me not to have thoſe 'finely faſhioned nerves,' which render the ſenſes exquiſite. They may poſſeſs tenderneſs; but they want that fire of the imagination, which produces active ſenſibility, and poſitive virtue. How does the woman deſerve to be characterized, who marries one man, with a heart and imagination devoted to another? Is ſhe not an object of pity or contempt, when thus ſacrilegiouſly violating the purity of her own feelings? Nay, it is as indelicate, when ſhe is indifferent, unleſs ſhe be conſtitutionally inſenſible; then indeed it is a mere affair of barter; and I have nothing to do with the ſecrets of trade. Yes; eagerly as I wiſh you to poſſeſs true rectitude of mind, and purity of affection, I muſt inſiſt that a heartleſs conduct is the contrary of virtuous. Truth is the only baſis of virtue; and we cannot, without depraving our minds, endeavour to pleaſe a lover or huſband, but in proportion as he pleaſes us. Men, more effectually to enſlave us, may inculcate this partial morality, and loſe ſight of virtue in ſubdividing it into the duties of particular ſtations; but let us not bluſh for nature without a cauſe!

"After theſe remarks, I am aſhamed to own, that I was pregnant. The greateſt ſacrifice of my principles in my whole life, was the allowing my huſband again to be familiar with my perſon, though to this cruel act of ſelf-denial, when I wiſhed the earth to open and ſwallow me, you owe your birth; and I the unutterable pleaſure of being a mother. There was ſomething of delicacy in my huſband's bridal attentions; but now his tainted breath, pimpled face, and blood-ſhot eyes, were not more repugnant to my ſenſes, than his groſs manners, and loveleſs familiarity to my taſte.

"A man would only be expected to maintain; yes, barely grant a ſubſiſtence, to a woman rendered odious by habitual intoxication; but who would expect him, or think it poſſible to love her? And unleſs 'youth, and genial years were flown,' it would be thought equally unreaſonable to inſiſt, [under penalty of] forfeiting almoſt every thing reckoned valuable in life, that he ſhould not love another: whilſt woman, weak in reaſon, impotent in will, is required to moralize, ſentimentalize herſelf to ſtone, and pine her life away, labouring to reform her embruted mate. He may even ſpend in diſſipation, and intemperance, the very intemperance which renders him ſo hateful, her property, and by ſtinting her expences, not permit her to beguile in ſociety, a weariſome, joyleſs life; for over their mutual fortune ſhe has no power, it muſt all paſs through his hand. And if ſhe be a mother, and in the preſent ſtate of women, it is a great miſfortune to be prevented from diſcharging the duties, and cultivating the affections of one, what has ſhe not to endure?—But I have ſuffered the tenderneſs of one to lead me into reflections that I did not think of making, to interrupt my narrative—yet the full heart will overflow.

"Mr. Venables' embarraſſments did not now endear him to me; ſtill, anxious to befriend him, I endeavoured to prevail on him to retrench his expences; but he had always ſome plauſible excuſe to give, to juſtify his not following my advice. Humanity, compaſſion, and the intereſt produced by a habit of living together, made me try to relieve, and ſympathize with him; but, when I recollected that I was bound to live with ſuch a being for ever—my heart died within me; my deſire of improvement became languid, and baleful, corroding melancholy took poſſeſſion of my ſoul. Marriage had baſtilled me for life. I diſcovered in myſelf a capacity for the enjoyment of the various pleaſures exiſtence affords; yet, fettered by the partial laws of ſociety, this fair globe was to me an univerſal blank.

"When I exhorted my huſband to economy, I referred to himſelf. I was obliged to practiſe the moſt rigid, or contract debts, which I had too much reaſon to fear would never be paid. I deſpiſed this paltry privilege of a wife, which can only be of uſe to the vicious or inconſiderate, and determined not to increaſe the torrent that was bearing him down. I was then ignorant of the extent of his fraudulent ſpeculations, whom I was bound to honour and obey.

"A woman neglected by her huſband, or whoſe manners form a ſtriking contraſt with his, will always have men on the watch to ſoothe and flatter her. Beſides, the forlorn ſtate of a neglected woman, not deſtitute of perſonal charms, is particularly intereſting, and rouſes that ſpecies of pity, which is ſo near akin, it eaſily ſlides into love. A man of feeling thinks not of ſeducing, he is himſelf ſeduced by all the nobleſt emotions of his ſoul. He figures to himſelf all the ſacrifices a woman of ſenſibility muſt make, and every ſituation in which his imagination places her, touches his heart, and fires his paſſions. Longing to take to his boſom the ſhorn lamb, and bid the drooping buds of hope revive, benevolence changes into paſſion: and ſhould he then diſcover that he is beloved, honour binds him faſt, though foreſeeing that he may afterwards be obliged to pay ſevere damages to the man, who never appeared to value his wife's ſociety, till he found that there was a chance of his being indemnified for the loſs of it.

"Such are the partial laws enacted by men; for, only to lay a ſtreſs on the dependent ſtate of a woman in the grand queſtion of the comforts ariſing from the poſſeſſion of property, ſhe is [even in this article] much more injured by the loſs of the huſband's affection, than he by that of his wife; yet where is ſhe, condemned to the ſolitude of a deſerted home, to look for a compenſation from the woman, who ſeduces him from her? She cannot drive an unfaithful huſband from his houſe, nor ſeparate, or tear, his children from him, however culpable he may be; and he, ſtill the maſter of his own fate, enjoys the ſmiles of a world, that would brand her with infamy, did ſhe, ſeeking conſolation, venture to retaliate.

"Theſe remarks are not dictated by experience; but merely by the compaſſion I feel for many amiable women, the out-laws of the world. For myſelf, never encouraging any of the advances that were made to me, my lovers dropped off like the untimely ſhoots of ſpring. I did not even coquet with them; becauſe I found, on examining myſelf, I could not coquet with a man without loving him a little; and I perceived that I ſhould not be able to ſtop at the line of what are termed innocent freedoms, did I ſuffer any. My reſerve was then the conſequence of delicacy. Freedom of conduct has emancipated many women's minds; but my conduct has moſt rigidly been governed by my principles, till the improvement of my underſtanding has enabled me to diſcern the fallacy of prejudices at war with nature and reaſon.

"Shortly after the change I have mentioned in my huſband's conduct, my uncle was compelled by his declining health, to ſeek the ſuccour of a milder climate, and embark for Liſbon. He left his will in the hands of a friend, an eminent ſolicitor; he had previouſly queſtioned me relative to my ſituation and ſtate of mind, and declared very freely, that he could place no reliance on the ſtability of my huſband's profeſſions. He had been deceived in the unfolding of his character; he now thought it fixed in a train of actions that would inevitably lead to ruin and diſgrace.

"The evening before his departure, which we ſpent alone together, he folded me to his heart, uttering the endearing appellation of 'child.'—My more than father! why was I not permitted to perform the laſt duties of one, and ſmooth the pillow of death? He ſeemed by his manner to be convinced that he ſhould never ſee me more; yet requeſted me, moſt earneſtly, to come to him, ſhould I be obliged to leave my huſband. He had before expreſſed his ſorrow at hearing of my pregnancy, having determined to prevail on me to accompany him, till I informed him of that circumſtance. He expreſſed himſelf unfeignedly ſorry that any new tie ſhould bind me to a man whom he thought ſo incapable of eſtimating my value; ſuch was the kind language of affection.

"I muſt repeat his own words; they made an indelible impreſſion on my mind:

"'The marriage ſtate is certainly that in which women, generally ſpeaking, can be moſt uſeful; but I am far from thinking that a woman, once married, ought to conſider the engagement as indiſſoluble (eſpecially if there be no children to reward her for ſacrificing her feelings) in caſe her huſband merits neither her love, nor eſteem. Eſteem will often ſupply the place of love; and prevent a woman from being wretched, though it may not make her happy. The magnitude of a ſacrifice ought always to bear ſome proportion to the utility in view; and for a woman to live with a man, for whom ſhe can cheriſh neither affection nor eſteem, or even be of any uſe to him, excepting in the light of a houſe-keeper, is an abjectneſs of condition, the enduring of which no concurrence of circumſtances can ever make a duty in the ſight of God or juſt men. If indeed ſhe ſubmits to it merely to be maintained in idleneſs, ſhe has no right to complain bitterly of her fate; or to act, as a perſon of independent character might, as if ſhe had a title to diſregard general rules.

"'But the miſfortune is, that many women only ſubmit in appearance, and forfeit their own reſpect to ſecure their reputation in the world. The ſituation of a woman ſeparated from her huſband, is undoubtedly very different from that of a man who has left his wife. He, with lordly dignity, has ſhaken of a clog; and the allowing her food and raiment, is thought ſufficient to ſecure his reputation from taint. And, ſhould ſhe have been inconſiderate, he will be celebrated for his generoſity and forbearance. Such is the reſpect paid to the maſter-key of property! A woman, on the contrary, reſigning what is termed her natural protector (though he never was ſo, but in name) is deſpiſed and ſhunned, for aſſerting the independence of mind diſtinctive of a rational being, and ſpurning at ſlavery.'

"During the remainder of the evening, my uncle's tenderneſs led him frequently to revert to the ſubject, and utter, with increaſing warmth, ſentiments to the ſame purport. At length it was neceſſary to ſay 'Farewell!'—and we parted—gracious God! to meet no more.

CHAP. XI.

"A gentleman of large fortune and of poliſhed manners, had lately viſited very frequently at our houſe, and treated me, if poſſible, with more reſpect than Mr. Venables paid him; my pregnancy was not yet viſible, his ſociety was a great relief to me, as I had for ſome time paſt, to avoid expence, confined myſelf very much at home. I ever diſdained unneceſſary, perhaps even prudent concealments; and my huſband, with great eaſe, diſcovered the amount of my uncle's parting preſent. A copy of a writ was the ſtale pretext to extort it from me; and I had ſoon reaſon to believe that it was fabricated for the purpoſe. I acknowledge my folly in thus ſuffering myſelf to be continually impoſed on. I had adhered to my reſolution not to apply to my uncle, on the part of my huſband, any more; yet, when I had received a ſum ſufficient to ſupply my own wants, and to enable me to purſue a plan I had in view, to ſettle my younger brother in a reſpectable employment, I allowed myſelf to be duped by Mr. Venables' ſhallow pretences, and hypocritical profeſſions.

"Thus did he pillage me and my family, thus fruſtrate all my plans of uſefulneſs. Yet this was the man I was bound to reſpect and eſteem: as if reſpect and eſteem depended on an arbitrary will of our own! But a wife being as much a man's property as his horſe, or his aſs, ſhe has nothing ſhe can call her own. He may uſe any means to get at what the law conſiders as his, the moment his wife is in poſſeſſion of it, even to the forcing of a lock, as Mr. Venables did, to ſearch for notes in my writing-deſk—and all this is done with a ſhow of equity, becauſe, forſooth, he is reſponſible for her maintenance.

"The tender mother cannot lawfully ſnatch from the gripe of the gambling ſpendthrift, or beaſtly drunkard, unmindful of his offſpring, the fortune which falls to her by chance; or (ſo flagrant is the injuſtice) what ſhe earns by her own exertions. No; he can rob her with impunity, even to waſte publicly on a courtezan; and the laws of her country—if women have a country—afford her no protection or redreſs from the oppreſſor, unleſs ſhe have the plea of bodily fear; yet how many ways are there of goading the ſoul almoſt to madneſs, equally unmanly, though not ſo mean? When ſuch laws were framed, ſhould not impartial lawgivers have firſt decreed, in the ſtyle of a great aſſembly, who recognized the exiſtence of an être ſuprême, to fix the national belief, that the huſband ſhould always be wiſer and more virtuous than his wife, in order to entitle him, with a ſhow of juſtice, to keep this idiot, or perpetual minor, for ever in bondage. But I muſt have done—on this ſubject, my indignation continually runs away with me.

"The company of the gentleman I have already mentioned, who had a general acquaintance with literature and ſubjects of taſte, was grateful to me; my countenance brightened up as he approached, and I unaffectedly expreſſed the pleaſure I felt. The amuſement his converſation afforded me, made it eaſy to comply with my huſband's requeſt, to endeavour to render our houſe agreeable to him.

"His attentions became more pointed; but, as I was not of the number of women, whoſe virtue, as it is termed, immediately takes alarm, I endeavoured, rather by raillery than ſerious expoſtulation, to give a different turn to his converſation. He aſſumed a new mode of attack, and I was, for a while, the dupe of his pretended friendſhip.

"I had, merely in the ſtyle of badinage, boaſted of my conqueſt, and repeated his lover-like compliments to my huſband. But he begged me, for God's ſake, not to affront his friend, or I ſhould deſtroy all his projects, and be his ruin. Had I had more affection for my huſband, I ſhould have expreſſed my contempt of this time-ſerving politeneſs: now I imagined that I only felt pity; yet it would have puzzled a caſuiſt to point out in what the exact difference conſiſted.

"This friend began now, in confidence, to diſcover to me the real ſtate of my huſband's affairs. 'Neceſſity,' ſaid Mr. S——; why ſhould I reveal his name? for he affected to palliate the conduct he could not excuſe, 'had led him to take ſuch ſteps, by accommodation bills, buying goods on credit, to ſell them for ready money, and ſimilar tranſactions, that his character in the commercial world was gone. He was conſidered,' he added, lowering his voice, 'on 'Change as a ſwindler.'

"I felt at that moment the firſt maternal pang. Aware of the evils my ſex have to ſtruggle with, I ſtill wiſhed, for my own conſolation, to be the mother of a daughter; and I could not bear to think, that the ſins of her father's entailed diſgrace, ſhould be added to the ills to which woman is heir.

"So completely was I deceived by theſe ſhows of friendſhip (nay, I believe, according to his interpretation, Mr. S— really was my friend) that I began to conſult him reſpecting the beſt mode of retrieving my huſband's character: it is the good name of a woman only that ſets to riſe no more. I knew not that he had been drawn into a whirlpool, out of which he had not the energy to attempt to eſcape. He ſeemed indeed deſtitute of the power of employing his faculties in any regular purſuit. His principles of action were ſo looſe, and his mind ſo uncultivated, that every thing like order appeared to him in the ſhape of reſtraint; and, like men in the ſavage ſtate, he required the ſtrong ſtimulus of hope or fear, produced by wild ſpeculations, in which the intereſts of others went for nothing, to keep his ſpirits awake. He one time poſſeſſed patriotiſm, but he knew not what it was to feel honeſt indignation; and pretended to be an advocate for liberty, when, with as little affection for the human race as for individuals, he thought of nothing but his own gratification. He was juſt ſuch a citizen, as a father. The ſums he adroitly obtained by a violation of the laws of his country, as well as thoſe of humanity, he would allow a miſtreſs to ſquander; though ſhe was, with the ſame ſang froid, conſigned, as were his children, to poverty, when another proved more attractive.

"On various pretences, his friend continued to viſit me; and, obſerving my want of money, he tried to induce me to accept of pecuniary aid; but this offer I abſolutely rejected, though it was made with ſuch delicacy, I could not be diſpleaſed.

"One day he came, as I thought accidentally, to dinner. My huſband was very much engaged in buſineſs, and quitted the room ſoon after the cloth was removed. We converſed as uſual, till confidential advice led again to love. I was extremely mortified. I had a ſincere regard for him, and hoped that he had an equal friendſhip for me. I therefore began mildly to expoſtulate with him. This gentleneſs he miſtook for coy encouragement; and he would not be diverted from the ſubject. Perceiving his miſtake, I ſeriouſly aſked him how, uſing ſuch language to me, he could profeſs to be my huſband's friend? A ſignificant ſneer excited my curioſity, and he, ſuppoſing this to be my only ſcruple, took a letter deliberately out of his pocket, ſaying, 'Your huſband's honour is not inflexible. How could you, with your diſcernment, think it ſo? Why, he left the room this very day on purpoſe to give me an opportunity to explain myſelf; he thought me too timid—too tardy.'

"I ſnatched the letter with indeſcribable emotion. The purport of it was to invite him to dinner, and to ridicule his chivalrous reſpect for me. He aſſured him, 'that every woman had her price, and, with groſs indecency, hinted, that he ſhould be glad to have the duty of a huſband taken off his hands. Theſe he termed liberal ſentiments. He adviſed him not to ſhock my romantic notions, but to attack my credulous generoſity, and weak pity; and concluded with requeſting him to lend him five hundred pounds for a month or ſix weeks.' I read this letter twice over; and the firm purpoſe it inſpired, calmed the riſing tumult of my ſoul. I roſe deliberately, requeſted Mr. S—— to wait a moment, and inſtantly going into the counting-houſe, deſired Mr. Venables to return with me to the dining-parlour.

"He laid down his pen, and entered with me, without obſerving any change in my countenance. I ſhut the door, and, giving him the letter, ſimply aſked, 'whether he wrote it, or was it a forgery?'

"Nothing could equal his confuſion. His friend's eye met his, and he muttered ſomething about a joke—But I interrupted him—'It is ſufficient—We part for ever.'

"I continued, with ſolemnity, 'I have borne with your tyranny and infidelities. I diſdain to utter what I have borne with. I thought you unprincipled, but not ſo decidedly vicious. I formed a tie, in the ſight of heaven—I have held it ſacred; even when men, more conformable to my taſte, have made me feel—I deſpiſe all ſubterfuge!—that I was not dead to love. Neglected by you, I have reſolutely ſtifled the enticing emotions, and reſpected the plighted faith you outraged. And you dare now to inſult me, by ſelling me to proſtitution!—Yes—equally loſt to delicacy and principle—you dared ſacrilegiouſly to barter the honour of the mother of your child.'

"Then, turning to Mr. S——, I added, 'I call on you, Sir, to witneſs,' and I lifted my hands and eyes to heaven, 'that, as ſolemnly as I took his name, I now abjure it,' I pulled off my ring, and put it on the table; 'and that I mean immediately to quit his houſe, never to enter it more. I will provide for myſelf and child. I leave him as free as I am determined to be myſelf—he ſhall be anſwerable for no debts of mine.'

"Aſtoniſhment cloſed their lips, till Mr. Venables, gently puſhing his friend, with a forced ſmile, out of the room, nature for a moment prevailed, and, appearing like himſelf, he turned round, burning with rage, to me: but there was no terror in the frown, excepting when contraſted with the malignant ſmile which preceded it. He bade me 'leave the houſe at my peril; told me he deſpiſed my threats; I had no reſource; I could not ſwear the peace againſt him!—I was not afraid of my life!—he had never ſtruck me!'

"He threw the letter in the fire, which I had incautiouſly left in his hands; and, quitting the room, locked the door on me.

"When left alone, I was a moment or two before I could recollect myſelf. One ſcene had ſucceeded another with ſuch rapidity, I almoſt doubted whether I was reflecting on a real event. 'Was it poſſible? Was I, indeed, free?'—Yes; free I termed myſelf, when I decidedly perceived the conduct I ought to adopt. How had I panted for liberty—liberty, that I would have purchaſed at any price, but that of my own eſteem! I roſe, and ſhook myſelf; opened the window, and methought the air never ſmelled ſo ſweet. The face of heaven grew fairer as I viewed it, and the clouds ſeemed to flit away obedient to my wiſhes, to give my ſoul room to expand. I was all ſoul, and (wild as it may appear) felt as if I could have diſſolved in the ſoft balmy gale that kiſſed my cheek, or have glided below the horizon on the glowing, deſcending beams. A ſeraphic ſatiſfaction animated, without agitating my ſpirits; and my imagination collected, in viſions ſublimely terrible, or ſoothingly beautiful, an immenſe variety of the endleſs images, which nature affords, and fancy combines, of the grand and fair. The luſtre of theſe bright pictureſque ſketches faded with the ſetting ſun; but I was ſtill alive to the calm delight they had diffuſed through my heart.

"There may be advocates for matrimonial obedience, who, making a diſtinction between the duty of a wife and of a human being, may blame my conduct.—To them I write not—my feelings are not for them to analyze; and may you, my child, never be able to aſcertain, by heart-rending experience, what your mother felt before the preſent emancipation of her mind!

"I began to write a letter to my father, after cloſing one to my uncle; not to aſk advice, but to ſignify my determination; when I was interrupted by the entrance of Mr. Venables. His manner was changed. His views on my uncle's fortune made him averſe to my quitting his houſe, or he would, I am convinced, have been glad to have ſhaken off even the ſlight reſtraint my preſence impoſed on him; the reſtraint of ſhowing me ſome reſpect. So far from having an affection for me, he really hated me, becauſe he was convinced that I muſt deſpiſe him.

"He told me, that, 'As I now had had time to cool and reflect, he did not doubt but that my prudence, and nice ſenſe of propriety, would lead me to overlook what was paſſed.'

"'Reflection,' I replied, 'had only confirmed my purpoſe, and no power on earth could divert me from it.'

"Endeavouring to aſſume a ſoothing voice and look, when he would willingly have tortured me, to force me to feel his power, his countenance had an infernal expreſſion, when he deſired me, 'Not to expoſe myſelf to the ſervants, by obliging him to confine me in my apartment; if then I would give my promiſe not to quit the houſe precipitately, I ſhould be free—and—.' I declared, interrupting him, 'that I would promiſe nothing. I had no meaſures to keep with him—I was reſolved, and would not condeſcend to ſubterfuge.'

"He muttered, 'that I ſhould ſoon repent of theſe prepoſterous airs;' and, ordering tea to be carried into my little ſtudy, which had a communication with my bed-chamber, he once more locked the door upon me, and left me to my own meditations. I had paſſively followed him up ſtairs, not wiſhing to fatigue myſelf with unavailing exertion.

"Nothing calms the mind like a fixed purpoſe. I felt as if I had heaved a thouſand weight from my heart; the atmoſphere ſeemed lightened; and, if I execrated the inſtitutions of ſociety, which thus enable men to tyrannize over women, it was almoſt a diſintereſted ſentiment. I diſregarded preſent inconveniences, when my mind had done ſtruggling with itſelf,—when reaſon and inclination had ſhaken hands and were at peace. I had no longer the cruel taſk before me, in endleſs perſpective, aye, during the tedious for ever of life, of labouring to overcome my repugnance—of labouring to extinguiſh the hopes, the maybes of a lively imagination. Death I had hailed as my only chance for deliverance; but, while exiſtence had ſtill ſo many charms, and life promiſed happineſs, I ſhrunk from the icy arms of an unknown tyrant, though far more inviting than thoſe of the man, to whom I ſuppoſed myſelf bound without any other alternative; and was content to linger a little longer, waiting for I knew not what, rather than leave 'the warm precincts of the cheerful day,' and all the unenjoyed affection of my nature.

"My preſent ſituation gave a new turn to my reflection; and I wondered (now the film ſeemed to be withdrawn, that obſcured the piercing ſight of reaſon) how I could, previouſly to the deciding outrage, have conſidered myſelf as everlaſtingly united to vice and folly? 'Had an evil genius caſt a ſpell at my birth; or a demon ſtalked out of chaos, to perplex my underſtanding, and enchain my will, with deluſive prejudices?'

"I purſued this train of thinking; it led me out of myſelf, to expatiate on the miſery peculiar to my ſex. 'Are not,' I thought, 'the deſpots for ever ſtigmatized, who, in the wantonneſs of power, commanded even the moſt atrocious criminals to be chained to dead bodies? though ſurely thoſe laws are much more inhuman, which forge adamantine fetters to bind minds together, that never can mingle in ſocial communion! What indeed can equal the wretchedneſs of that ſtate, in which there is no alternative, but to extinguiſh the affections, or encounter infamy?'

CHAP. XII.

"I did not at firſt deign to reply. But perceiving that he affected to take my ſilence for conſent, I told him that, 'If he would not go to another bed, or allow me, I ſhould ſit up in my ſtudy all night.' He attempted to pull me into the chamber, half joking. But I reſiſted; and, as he had determined not to give me any reaſon for ſaying that he uſed violence, after a few more efforts, he retired, curſing my obſtinacy, to bed.

"I ſat muſing ſome time longer; then, throwing my cloak around me, prepared for ſleep on a ſopha. And, ſo fortunate ſeemed my deliverance, ſo ſacred the pleaſure of being thus wrapped up in myſelf, that I ſlept profoundly, and woke with a mind compoſed to encounter the ſtruggles of the day. Mr. Venables did not wake till ſome hours after; and then he came to me half-dreſſed, yawning and ſtretching, with haggard eyes, as if he ſcarcely recollected what had paſſed the preceding evening. He fixed his eyes on me for a moment, then, calling me a fool, aſked 'How long I intended to continue this pretty farce? For his part, he was deviliſh ſick of it; but this was the plague of marrying women who pretended to know ſomething.'

"I made no other reply to this harangue, than to ſay, 'That he ought to be glad to get rid of a woman ſo unfit to be his companion—and that any change in my conduct would be mean diſſimulation; for maturer reflection only gave the ſacred ſeal of reaſon to my firſt reſolution.'

"He looked as if he could have ſtamped with impatience, at being obliged to ſtifle his rage; but, conquering his anger (for weak people, whoſe paſſions ſeem the moſt ungovernable, reſtrain them with the greateſt eaſe, when they have a ſufficient motive), he exclaimed, 'Very pretty, upon my ſoul! very pretty, theatrical flouriſhes! Pray, fair Roxana, ſtoop from your altitudes, and remember that you are acting a part in real life.'

"He uttered this ſpeech with a ſelf-ſatiſfied air, and went down ſtairs to dreſs.

"In about an hour he came to me again; and in the ſame tone ſaid, 'That he came as my gentleman-uſher to hand me down to breakfaſt.

"'Of the black rod?' aſked I.

"This queſtion, and the tone in which I aſked it, a little diſconcerted him. To ſay the truth, I now felt no reſentment; my firm reſolution to free myſelf from my ignoble thraldom, had abſorbed the various emotions which, during ſix years, had racked my ſoul. The duty pointed out by my principles ſeemed clear; and not one tender feeling intruded to make me ſwerve: The diſlike which my huſband had inſpired was ſtrong; but it only led me to wiſh to avoid, to wiſh to let him drop out of my memory; there was no miſery, no torture that I would not deliberately have choſen, rather than renew my leaſe of ſervitude.

"During the breakfaſt, he attempted to reaſon with me on the folly of romantic ſentiments; for this was the indiſcriminate epithet he gave to every mode of conduct or thinking ſuperior to his own. He aſſerted, 'that all the world were governed by their own intereſt; thoſe who pretended to be actuated by different motives, were only deeper knaves, or fools crazed by books, who took for goſpel all the rodomantade nonſenſe written by men who knew nothing of the world. For his part, he thanked God, he was no hypocrite; and, if he ſtretched a point ſometimes, it was always with an intention of paying every man his own.'

"He then artfully inſinuated, 'that he daily expected a veſſel to arrive, a ſucceſſful ſpeculation, that would make him eaſy for the preſent, and that he had ſeveral other ſchemes actually depending, that could not fail. He had no doubt of becoming rich in a few years, though he had been thrown back by ſome unlucky adventures at the ſetting out.'

"I mildly replied, 'That I wiſhed he might not involve himſelf ſtill deeper.'

"He had no notion that I was governed by a deciſion of judgment, not to be compared with a mere ſpurt of reſentment. He knew not what it was to feel indignation againſt vice, and often boaſted of his placable temper, and readineſs to forgive injuries. True; for he only conſidered the being deceived, as an effort of ſkill he had not guarded againſt; and then, with a cant of candour, would obſerve, 'that he did not know how he might himſelf have been tempted to act in the ſame circumſtances.' And, as his heart never opened to friendſhip, it never was wounded by diſappointment. Every new acquaintance he proteſted, it is true, was 'the clevereſt fellow in the world;' and he really thought ſo; till the novelty of his converſation or manners ceaſed to have any effect on his ſluggiſh ſpirits. His reſpect for rank or fortune was more permanent, though he chanced to have no deſign of availing himſelf of the influence of either to promote his own views.

"After a prefatory converſation,—my blood (I thought it had been cooler) fluſhed over my whole countenance as he ſpoke—he alluded to my ſituation. He deſired me to reflect—'and act like a prudent woman, as the beſt proof of my ſuperior underſtanding; for he muſt own I had ſenſe, did I know how to uſe it. I was not,' he laid a ſtreſs on his words, 'without my paſſions; and a huſband was a convenient cloke.—He was liberal in his way of thinking; and why might not we, like many other married people, who were above vulgar prejudices, tacitly conſent to let each other follow their own inclination?—He meant nothing more, in the letter I made the ground of complaint; and the pleaſure which I ſeemed to take in Mr. S.'s company, led him to conclude, that he was not diſagreeable to me.'

"A clerk brought in the letters of the day, and I, as I often did, while he was diſcuſſing ſubjects of buſineſs, went to the piano forte, and began to play a favourite air to reſtore myſelf, as it were, to nature, and drive the ſophiſticated ſentiments I had juſt been obliged to liſten to, out of my ſoul.

"They had excited ſenſations ſimilar to thoſe I have felt, in viewing the ſqualid inhabitants of ſome of the lanes and back ſtreets of the metropolis, mortified at being compelled to conſider them as my fellow-creatures, as if an ape had claimed kindred with me. Or, as when ſurrounded by a mephitical fog, I have wiſhed to have a volley of cannon fired, to clear the incumbered atmoſphere, and give me room to breathe and move.

"My ſpirits were all in arms, and I played a kind of extemporary prelude. The cadence was probably wild and impaſſioned, while, loſt in thought, I made the ſounds a kind of echo to my train of thinking.

"Pauſing for a moment, I met Mr. Venables' eyes. He was obſerving me with an air of conceited ſatiſfaction, as much as to ſay—'My laſt inſinuation has done the buſineſs—ſhe begins to know her own intereſt.' Then gathering up his letters, he ſaid, 'That he hoped he ſhould hear no more romantic ſtuff, well enough in a miſs juſt come from boarding ſchool;' and went, as was his cuſtom, to the counting-houſe. I ſtill continued playing; and, turning to a ſprightly leſſon, I executed it with uncommon vivacity. I heard footſteps approach the door, and was ſoon convinced that Mr. Venables was liſtening; the conſciouſneſs only gave more animation to my fingers. He went down into the kitchen, and the cook, probably by his deſire, came to me, to know what I would pleaſe to order for dinner. Mr. Venables came into the parlour again, with apparent careleſſneſs. I perceived that the cunning man was over-reaching himſelf; and I gave my directions as uſual, and left the room.

"While I was making ſome alteration in my dreſs, Mr. Venables peeped in, and, begging my pardon for interrupting me, diſappeared. I took up ſome work (I could not read), and two or three meſſages were ſent to me, probably for no other purpoſe, but to enable Mr. Venables to aſcertain what I was about.

"I liſtened whenever I heard the ſtreet-door open; at laſt I imagined I could diſtinguiſh Mr. Venables' ſtep, going out. I laid aſide my work; my heart palpitated; ſtill I was afraid haſtily to enquire; and I waited a long half hour, before I ventured to aſk the boy whether his maſter was in the counting-houſe?

"Being anſwered in the negative, I bade him call me a coach, and collecting a few neceſſaries haſtily together, with a little parcel of letters and papers which I had collected the preceding evening, I hurried into it, deſiring the coachman to drive to a diſtant part of the town.

"I almoſt feared that the coach would break down before I got out of the ſtreet; and, when I turned the corner, I ſeemed to breathe a freer air. I was ready to imagine that I was riſing above the thick atmoſphere of earth; or I felt, as wearied ſouls might be ſuppoſed to feel on entering another ſtate of exiſtence.

"I ſtopped at one or two ſtands of coaches to elude purſuit, and then drove round the ſkirts of the town to ſeek for an obſcure lodging, where I wiſhed to remain concealed, till I could avail myſelf of my uncle's protection. I had reſolved to aſſume my own name immediately, and openly to avow my determination, without any formal vindication, the moment I had found a home, in which I could reſt free from the daily alarm of expecting to ſee Mr. Venables enter.

"I looked at ſeveral lodgings; but finding that I could not, without a reference to ſome acquaintance, who might inform my tyrant, get admittance into a decent apartment—men have not all this trouble—I thought of a woman whom I had aſſiſted to furniſh a little haberdaſher's ſhop, and who I knew had a firſt floor to let.

"I went to her, and though I could not perſuade her, that the quarrel between me and Mr. Venables would never be made up, ſtill ſhe agreed to conceal me for the preſent; yet aſſuring me at the ſame time, ſhaking her head, that, when a woman was once married, ſhe muſt bear every thing. Her pale face, on which appeared a thouſand haggard lines and delving wrinkles, produced by what is emphatically termed fretting, inforced her remark; and I had afterwards an opportunity of obſerving the treatment ſhe had to endure, which grizzled her into patience. She toiled from morning till night; yet her huſband would rob the till, and take away the money reſerved for paying bills; and, returning home drunk, he would beat her if ſhe chanced to offend him, though ſhe had a child at the breaſt.

"Theſe ſcenes awoke me at night; and, in the morning, I heard her, as uſual, talk to her dear Johnny—he, forſooth, was her maſter; no ſlave in the Weſt Indies had one more deſpotic; but fortunately ſhe was of the true Ruſſian breed of wives.

"My mind, during the few paſt days, ſeemed, as it were, diſengaged from my body; but, now the ſtruggle was over, I felt very forcibly the effect which perturbation of ſpirits produces on a woman in my ſituation.

"The apprehenſion of a miſcarriage, obliged me to confine myſelf to my apartment near a fortnight; but I wrote to my uncle's friend for money, promiſing 'to call on him, and explain my ſituation, when I was well enough to go out; mean time I earneſtly intreated him, not to mention my place of abode to any one, leſt my huſband—ſuch the law conſidered him—ſhould diſturb the mind he could not conquer. I mentioned my intention of ſetting out for Liſbon, to claim my uncle's protection, the moment my health would permit.'

"The tranquillity however, which I was recovering, was ſoon interrupted. My landlady came up to me one day, with eyes ſwollen with weeping, unable to utter what ſhe was commanded to ſay. She declared, 'That ſhe was never ſo miſerable in her life; that ſhe muſt appear an ungrateful monſter; and that ſhe would readily go down on her knees to me, to intreat me to forgive her, as ſhe had done to her huſband to ſpare her the cruel taſk.' Sobs prevented her from proceeding, or anſwering my impatient enquiries, to know what ſhe meant.

"When ſhe became a little more compoſed, ſhe took a newſpaper out of her pocket, declaring, 'that her heart ſmote her, but what could ſhe do?—ſhe muſt obey her huſband.' I ſnatched the paper from her. An advertiſement quickly met my eye, purporting, that 'Maria Venables had, without any aſſignable cauſe, abſconded from her huſband; and any perſon harbouring her, was menaced with the utmoſt ſeverity of the law.'

"Perfectly acquainted with Mr. Venables' meanneſs of ſoul, this ſtep did not excite my ſurpriſe, and ſcarcely my contempt. Reſentment in my breaſt, never ſurvived love. I bade the poor woman, in a kind tone, wipe her eyes, and requeſt her huſband to come up, and ſpeak to me himſelf.

"My manner awed him. He reſpected a lady, though not a woman; and began to mutter out an apology.

"'Mr. Venables was a rich gentleman; he wiſhed to oblige me, but he had ſuffered enough by the law already, to tremble at the thought; beſides, for certain, we ſhould come together again, and then even I ſhould not thank him for being acceſſary to keeping us aſunder.—A huſband and wife were, God knows, juſt as one,—and all would come round at laſt.' He uttered a drawling 'Hem!' and then with an arch look, added—'Maſter might have had his little frolics—but—Lord bleſs your heart!—men would be men while the world ſtands.'