ACT III
Three days later. Time: evening.
The same Scene as in Act I.
PAUL TWYNING is mixing mortar on the kitchen floor.
ROSE M’GOTHIGAN comes in back. She has a small parcel in her hand.
PAUL. Lord bless me, Rose, have you ventured in here again?
ROSE. Aren’t the Deegans all away in the town?
PAUL. But they may be here any minute.
ROSE. My father’s in the town, too, and Daisy Mullan’s visiting my mother. And she’s crying sore about something.… So I just come out.
PAUL. Isn’t that all over now? I didn’t think Daisy had a single tear left in her reservoir. America soon dries up the tears, Rose.
ROSE. Well, she’s crying bitter about something.
PAUL. Let us make a stagger at cause and effect. Wasn’t there a young gentleman, not unlike a bank clerk, called on Daisy this forenoon?
ROSE. Sure it was me seen him first! From the Bank he was.
PAUL. Well, it could happen that his visit has something in common with Daisy’s tears. The young banker called here, and whispered something to ould Deegan, and it must have been something of ghastly importance for ould Deegan turned as white as paper and had to lean his body against the wall. Then he and the young banker druv off to town.
ROSE. Druv off to the bank. My father followed them in to see if he could find out what was wrong.
PAUL. And Dan’s in the town buying his Yankee outfit.
ROSE. Yes, he’s for Philadelphy on Saturday.… [Holds out parcel] Give Dan that, Paul, when he comes in.… It’s a muffler.…
PAUL. Ach, wait and give the sowl the muffler yourself.… Sure, you’ll see him before he takes the water.
ROSE. I may and I mayn’t. My father and me had a great battle last night, and I’m going to service. Give Dan that, Paul, and tell him Rose wished him luck.
PAUL [takes parcel]. Well, well. The coorse of true love never runs smooth, and this is no exception.
ROSE. And good-bye to yourself, Paul.
PAUL [takes her hand]. I’m to blame for all this trouble, Rose. I’ve riz a devil that I can’t lay.
ROSE. Oh, don’t say that, Paul.
PAUL. But I meant well, Rose. The first time I limped up to your door you fed me and gimme a welcome change of socks.… And poor Dan gimme a left-foot boot and said his father wanted a plasterer.
ROSE. Dan’s kind.
PAUL. Kind but unstable. I’d no sooner got this job than I commenced plotting a match between yourself and Dan, for match-making is my hobby; but, faith, I soon found that Dan was a shifty hero.
ROSE. He’s afraid of his father.
PAUL. That’s putting it mild enough, God knows. Mortal terror would apply to it.
ROSE [releases her hand]. I must be going, Paul.… If my father knew I was in here he’d kill me.
DAN DEEGAN comes in back. He is wearing a cheap new raincoat, a new hat, and carries a blackthorn and a tin box plastered with gaudy American labels.
PAUL. Ah, sure here is Willy Reilly himself!
DAN. No sconcing now, Paul Twyning! I’m in flames if I’ll stand it! You’re the means of getting me banished.
PAUL. I’ll leave you now, Dan, for you’re in a dangerous mood. [Gives ROSE parcel.] You can deliver that yourself. [He goes out back.]
ROSE. Maybe you wouldn’t take this, Dan? It’s a wee present.
DAN. Your fader met me in the town and flew at me like a tager!… Hunted me into Pat’s yard and affronted me .…
ROSE. He’s in a terrible pucker.
DAN. He vows he’ll have my blood afore I put my fut on the boat.
ROSE. I’m going away, Dan … to service.
DAN. Aye, so he said.… You’ll be well away.… I wish, Rose, you were coming with myself … across the raging main … the angry deep.… The emigration agent says I’ll make my fortune in six weeks herding sheep in Philadelphy.… Will you come, Rose—to the land of the setting sun?
ROSE. Not now, Dan. But if you send for me I’ll go.
DAN. That’s settled.… I’ll be as true as the stars above. [Takes the parcel.]
ROSE. It’s only a muffler.
DAN. The very thing I wanted.… I’ll wear it on deck of the good ship … and be thinking of yourself, Rose.…
DENIS M’GOTHIGAN’S angry voice is heard in the yard.
ROSE. Oh, Dan, Dan! My father!
DAN [wildly]. I’m in flames, but he’ll murder us!… In here … in here!
They both go into the cupboard.
PAUL [coming in back]. I told you they weren’t here, Denis. But you’re that misdoubtful. [DENIS comes in.] Now search the house.…
DENIS. They’re in here. They’re in this house somewhere. [DENIS has taken drink.] If I get my thumb on Dan I’ll not lave much of him to go to Americky. [Rushes over and looks into the room.] They’re not in here.…
PAUL. Nor they can’t be upstairs, for the stairs are blocked.…
DENIS. You’d try to smuggle them out if you could! But you’ll not fool Denis! I’ll stand outby and watch the house—if I stand for a week! [He goes out back.]
PAUL [speaks up to the ceiling]. If you’re up there, for heaven’s sake lie low.… For Denis is out for blood.
DAISY MULLAN comes in back.
DAISY. Say, Paul Twyning, I’m in a power of trouble, and I gotta talk to someone or bust.
PAUL. Well—talk. It’s more humane than the other. [Points upstairs.] But don’t talk too loud, for Dan Deegan and Rose are hiding up there from Denis.…
DAISY. Denis is waiting outside. He sure looks wild.… But that ain’t my trouble, I don’t mind telling you I’ve got myself in the soup with both feet. [Glances upwards] They couldn’t hear me up there, could they?
PAUL. Not if you talk in that key.
DAISY. I don’t know how it is, but I got a hunch that you’re the sort of feller would stick to a gel in trouble.…
PAUL. Go easy, now. I’m a plasterer myself.
DAISY. Waal, I ain’t no plasterer. Nor I ain’t joshing, neither. I’m too blamed unhappy right now. I’m waiting every minute to be arrested.…
PAUL [astonished]. Arrested! Taken into custody? A prisoner? For what, in the name of the whole Twelve Apostles?
DAISY [breaks down]. About that bank draft.… It was faked up. I thought it would have to go back to America, and that would gimme time to skip … but seems it was spotted in London.… [Sobs.]
PAUL. My sowl, this is a bad onion!
DAISY. It’s frightful.… The bank manager sent for me and old Deegan … but I was too skeert to go in.… Oh, I dunno whadda do.… [Sobs loudly.]
PAUL. Now listen to me. Whatever else a lady may do in my presence, she mustn’t dissolve in tears … for that would render me as soft in the brain as Dan Deegan himself. [Sits down beside her.] May I call you “Daisy,” just to comfort you?
DAISY. If you like.… Sure you ain’t married?
PAUL. Glory be to God, no. I’ve been the whole seven kinds of galoot, but I’m still single.
DAISY. I don’t want no joshing. I want help.
PAUL. Very well now. If you dry your eyes and promise not to wet them again, I’ll see what can be done. But if you do another weep, I’ll take to my heels, and you’ll never see me again.
DAISY [pulls herself together]. Waal, I’ll try to.… But I’m in a power of trouble.… I ain’t a professional crook.
PAUL. That’s obvious … or you wouldn’t break down over a trifle like this.
DAISY. I was trying to get even with old Deegan, but my plans miscarried and landed me in the wash.… The goldarned old grabber! he was the means of me quitting home at first. He grabbed our bit of land and left us high and dry.
PAUL. So I’ve been told. Then, I suppose, you meant to marry ould Deegan and grab the whole ninety-five acres?
DAISY. No, seh! Not on your life. I wouldn’t marry old Deegan—nor his fool son—not if they owned the landscape.… I just meant to fix up a match and then clear out with all I could rake up.
PAUL. A very meritorious idea.
DAISY. But now the whole thing has gone flop, and I ain’t got a cent to meet that draft.… Old Deegan thinks I got that money, but I ain’t.… True to heaven, Paul Twyning, that money was stolen in Pat Deegan’s saloon. Patrick or his wife, or yon goat of a son, swiped the lot—papers and all.
PAUL. Were the papers valuable?
DAISY. The papers wasn’t worth a cent. I was cook to a retired broker, and fished ’em out of the trash-basket.
PAUL [laughs]. Awh, that’s delicious! It’s a great pity the law has power to step in and spoil so fine a joke.
DAISY [produces a cablegram]. And I’d this cable cooked up and sent me by a friend.
PAUL [scanning it and grinning expansively]. You’re not slow, Daisy! My sowl, there’s not a slow joint in your body. [Hands back the cablegram.] Keep that cable like the sight of your eye, for ’twill come in useful anon.
DAISY [starts]. I hear Deegan’s car.… I hear it coming.… Oh, I can’t stick it.… I’m all nerves. [Shakes violently.]
PAUL. Listen to me, girl. Stiffen up and cut out them shivers. You’ve every decent card in the pack, and I’ve the Joker. If you play half a game we’ll sweep the board.…
DAISY. You think?
PAUL. No, I’m sure. Pay attention to this. Ould Deegan—the great lay lawyer—has made you an assignment of himself and his property. If he dares to go back on the contract, you hold out hard for a thousand pound.
DAISY. But the fake draft—how about it?
PAUL. Tell them it’s a good draft. Tell them you paid your money for it in New York like a decent girl, and if it isn’t in order, the bank is to blame, not you.
DAISY. But I got it in the trash-basket.…
PAUL. The broad Atlantic is rowling between you and the trash-basket.… Brazen it out on my lines, and you’ll win your case.…
The car is heard coming into the yard.
DAISY [looks out back window]. They’re all here … Patrick and Mrs. Deegan … and O’Hagan.… [Turns in.] Oh, Paul, where can I go?… I can’t stay here.…
PAUL. Go into the room, and listen carefully to the drift of our discourse.… I’ll give a professional cough when I want you to come out. [DAISY goes towards the room.] And I’m saying. If O’Hagan asks you any impertinent questions, refer him to your American solicitors. And if he wants to know the name of your solicitors say Brown and Fitzgerald, Broadway, New York. And if he wants a broker—refer him to Funk and Wignell, Wall Street.…
DAISY. I hope he don’t ask no questions.… [She goes into the room.]
PAUL [gets busy mixing mortar, and sings]
OLD DEEGAN, O’HAGAN, PATRICK and MRS. DEEGAN come in.
PATRICK. Here’s the tramp vagabone now.… We’ll get the saddle on the right horse, by Mozes!
DEEGAN. Silence, sir, and let Mr. O’Hagan conduct the proceedings.
The table is brought to the centre and OLD DEEGAN and O’HAGAN sit down. The others stand.
O’HAGAN [opens his attaché]. Twyning, we’ve proof that you stole the money and papers from Miss Mullan’s bag.
PAUL [leans on the shovel]. It’s a blessid thing I haven’t a weak heart, Mr. O’Hagan, or I’d fall dead with apoplexy.
O’HAGAN. We’re not here to mince matters. You took the money, and we can prove it.
PAUL. If you can’t prove it, ’twill be a black day for you. But go on. Prove it.
O’HAGAN. Patrick Deegan, what are you prepared to swear?
PATRICK [excited]. I can swear Paul Twyning left me in the bar, and went into the snug, where my father and Daisy Mullan was sleeping, and rifled the bag and slipt out the side dure.
PAUL. Was that the reason yourself staggered like a drunk cock and your wife fainted on the flure, when the whillabillo went up that the money was stolen?
O’HAGAN. Patrick has made a clean breast of it. He admits having examined the bag, as a precautionary measure, but found it empty.
DEEGAN. Patrick and his wife are not guilty. The sum was too large for them. Neither of them is honest, but they wouldn’t have the nerve to steal six hundred pounds.
PATRICK [with uplifted hand]. May I fall dead if I lie! The bag was empty.
PAUL. Your intention was good, Patrick. Your father may think you’re not bold enough to risk a big sum, but I think your father is mistaken. The man who would put in his hand would take out the goods.
PATRICK. You took the money, Twyning! And I thought you were an honest man—after all them speeches you made.
PAUL. So I was—a paragon of virtue—till I entered your opium-den.
O’HAGAN. This is all beside the point.… You were the only person, Twyning, that actually saw the roll of money. Miss Mullan gave you a pound-note, and put the rest in her bag. Is that right?
PAUL. Perfectly correct. I’d be long sorry to deny receipt of a gift.
O’HAGAN. And you saw the roll of notes in her hand?
PAUL. Thank my God I’m not blind. I saw the rowl distinctly, and it as thick as my arm.
O’HAGAN. And you meant to catch the first train to Dublin, did you not?
PAUL. That was my intention. And that’s where your case falls down. For if I’d annexed yon rowl of money, I’d have hired a special.… Just fancy me coming back to plaster this duck-house at five bob a day, and I a millionaire! Why, ten hours later, I’d be sauntering down Grafton Street, with a cane in one hand and my suède gloves in the other.
DEEGAN. Mr. O’Hagan, you are on the wrong track. I told you all along that Paul Twyning was not the thief. I am convinced that Daisy Mullan has the money and papers concealed.…
PAUL. But why on earth should Daisy Mullan rob her own nest?
O’HAGAN [rising]. We’ll go across to her own house and ask her.…
PAUL. You won’t have to cross the wet fields.… I think Daisy is upstairs.…
O’HAGAN. Ah, just what I feared! A conspiracy. [Sits down.]
DEEGAN [angrily]. What is Daisy Mullan doing up my stairs?
PAUL. It’s my opinion she’s choosing wall-paper for the bridal-chamber.…
PAUL coughs conspicuously, and DAISY comes from the room.
DAISY. Quite a crowd here, ain’t the’?
O’HAGAN. What were you doing up my client’s stairs, madam?
DAISY. Up your client’s stairs? Your client ain’t got no stairs. This house is mine, stairs and all. See?
O’HAGAN. You’d better throw off that brazen cloak, and realise where you stand.…
DAISY. Say, what’s a-biting of you, dear?
O’HAGAN. Your fake draft is returned—worthless. Do you know what that means?
DAISY. Yaas. It means you folks don’t know nuthin about drafts. My draft was O.K.
O’HAGAN. The local bank holds Mr. Deegan responsible for the money. If you hand us the six hundred pounds we can settle with the bank and avoid further trouble. If you don’t, Mr. Deegan can have you arrested.
DEEGAN. And I will.
DAISY. The money’s somewhere in the Deegan family. I sure ain’t got it. I was drugged and robbed in Patrick Deegan’s awful den. [Flaring up.] What the all-sparkling hades do I care about the dab of money, compared with the loss of deeds and documents!
O’HAGAN. Why were you carting all those valuable papers around with you? Have you no solicitors?
DAISY. That’s my own business, smart Alick! B’gee, you may hear from my solicitors in a way you won’t like, and soon.
O’HAGAN. The sooner the better. Who are your solicitors?
DAISY. Messrs. Brown and Fitzgerald, Noo York.
O’HAGAN. And your brokers?
DAISY. Funk and Wignell, Wall Street. You cable rightaway and ask if Miss Daisy Mullan, of Lincoln Avenoo, is O.K. or not. I’ll pay the cable.
O’HAGAN. Good. I will. [Jots down the names.] Any cable address, do you know?
DAISY. They sure have, but my memory ain’t serving.
PAUL. I should say “Fitz” would get the one and “Funk” the other.
O’HAGAN. Thank you. I didn’t ask for your assistance.
PAUL. Oh, don’t mention it. I’m always glad to assist you without asking.
O’HAGAN. Mr. Deegan, I think we ought to cable one of those firms before we proceed further.
DEEGAN. If you think such firms exist by all means cable them.
O’HAGAN [rising]. We should have a reply in ten hours.…
PAUL. What! A message from New York in ten hours? I’m afraid that’s too quick. [Coughs at DAISY.]
DAISY. Nonsense! Why, I got this cablegram yesterday from Philadelphia in four hours. [Takes it out.]
O’HAGAN. May I have a look at that, please?
DAISY. Why, sure. Ain’t you never seen a cable? [Hands it to him.]
O’HAGAN [surprised]. Mr. Deegan, this is important.
DEEGAN. What is it?
O’HAGAN. It’s about house property. [Reads] “Would lease or buy property on Mount Airy. Cable lowest price. Spalding.” [Hands back the cable.] Who is Spalding?
DAISY. Why, Rupert G. Spalding—one of my tenants. He wants to buy the whole block and make a departmental store—the second largest in the world.
PAUL [drily]. The Yanks are a go-ahead people.
O HAGAN [perplexed]. Mr. Deegan, that cablegram puts another complexion on the case. [Sits down.]
DEEGAN. Who is to settle with the local bank? That’s the main point.
DAISY. Why, dear, ain’t the local bank got you and me both for security? I guess this slight misunderstanding won’t make no difference in our affections, will it?
DEEGAN. It will make all the difference in the world. You have your property on Mount Airy, and I have mine on solid ground. There will be no alliance.
PATRICK. That’s sense, by Mozes!
MRS. DEEGAN. It takes granda.
DAISY. And how about the assignment, granda?
DEEGAN. Mr. O’Hagan will answer that question.
O’HAGAN. Without marriage the assignment is waste-paper.
DAISY. But who huffs at the wedding? Not me.
O’HAGAN. My client has changed his mind.
PAUL [loudly]. Then, bedam, if he has changed his mind he’ll pay for it. Your client promised on his two knees to wed her, and if he goes back on that promise he must take the consequences. [To DAISY] I’m going to see fair play, stranger. I saw your fiancé at your feet and heard you accepting him. If there is justice left on earth I’m going to see you get a share of it.… Go now and get your hat and vanity-bag, and we’ll settle with the bank and then see a lawyer.…
DAISY. Settle with the bank, did you say?
PAUL. Certainly. Settle with the bank. That cablegram in your pocket is good for a million. And your breach of promise case is good for a cowld thousand.
DAISY. Paul Twyning, that’s my plan in a capsule. If you back me up in it I’ll make granda Deegan and his ten-cent lawyer sit up and howl.
PAUL. Back you up, is it? Paul Twyning has spoken. That is enough.… Go now and get ready for the bank, and hire your cousin Darby to drive us in state.
DAISY [animated]. I sure will.… Why, I’d depend my life on Paul Twyning right now.
PAUL. Bring your vanity-bag and all papers.
DAISY. Sure thing. [Hurries out.]
PAUL [despondently]. Well, I’ve been called the proudest man in all Dublin, but I’m going now to be the meanest clod in all Ireland. I won’t waste words. Daisy Mullan is a retired cook, and an adventuress.
Uproar.
DEEGAN. Silence! Go on, Paul. You astonish me.
PAUL. She has that six hundred pounds safe and sound, but not another brown penny in the world.
DEEGAN [in triumph]. O’Hagan, was I right or wrong?
O’HAGAN. Right, right.… Wonderful … man.
DEEGAN. Paul Twyning, how did you discover this, my friend?
PAUL. I was talking to her for a quarter of an hour before you come in, and I sent her upstairs lest she give us the slip altogether.…
DAN DEEGAN jumps out of the cupboard.
DAN. I’m in flames, but Paul Twyning’s a just man! I was hid in there the whole time him and Daisy was talking, and heard every word they said. She told him she was cook for a retired broker and got all her property—draft and all—in the trash-basket.
PAUL [piously]. See that, now! It always pays to do the straight thing.… Who ever’d have thought of Dan being in there all the time!
DEEGAN. Come forward, Daniel.
DAN. Yes, fader.
DEEGAN. Swear to the truth of that statement with uplifted hand.
DAN [with hand up]. Afore you and God, fader, I’m telling the truth, amen.… She said you grabbed her people’s bit of land, and she come back to get revenge.
O’HAGAN. That’s the solution now.… She’d the cablegram and all cooked for the purpose.… Paul Twyning, I’m ashamed to look in your honest face.… I hope you can forgive us all.
PAUL. To err is human; to forgive, divine. I freely forgive you all.
They murmur thanks, and PATRICK shakes hands with PAUL.
DAN. Is that all you want with me, fader?
DEEGAN. That’s all at present. For once in your life you have done me a small service.
DAN. Well, I’m going to hide in here again.
DENIS M’GOTHIGAN comes in fuming.
DENIS. Now I want no colyfoxin’! My daughter’s in this house somewhere, and I mean to find her.… [To DAN] Where’s my Rose?
DAN. The Lord knows that, Denis, amen.… I hain’t seen her this six weeks.
ROSE comes from the cupboard crying.
PAUL. Now, Dan! Let the whole world see whether you’re good enough to tie Rose M’Gothigan’s shoestrings. That blackthorn in your hand is not solely for ornamentation.
DAN [rushes beside ROSE and draws the blackthorn]. I’m in flames, but I’ll defend my own Rose to the death! I’ll have to fight the Blacks and Red Indians in Philadelphy, and I may as well practise a bit at home.… Now, Denis, I daar you!
PAUL [with a loud laugh]. Emancipated! Behold Dan Deegan emancipated!
DENIS. I’ll not leave this house till Rose comes home … and I’ll give her a wiggin’ when she comes.… [Sits down.]
DEEGAN. Paul Twyning, will you give Mr. O’Hagan and me a word in private?
PAUL. I will not. There has been far too much privacy and duplicity already. I’ll answer your questions here and now, or not at all.
DEEGAN. Well, I’m not very clear as to your plans.
PAUL. I can soon clear the air. Daisy and I are going to settle with the bank. When we get that done she’ll want me to go with her to a lawyer to frame up a case aginst Mr. Deegan. But I’ll turn on my heel and say, “Begone, adventuress! Paul Twyning is not a blackmailer!”
The DEEGANS applaud.
DENIS. Yaha, yaha!
PAUL. What are you “yahaing” about, Denis?
DENIS. At your honesty. What else?
PAUL. Now I knocked the hat off before, Denis, but I’ll knock the head off this time! [Severely] You’re an impudent little wart and ill-set. If you were man’s size I’d clout you one. If you articulate again, I’ll give you a bloody mouth.
PATRICK. Ould Dublin on the Liffey, by Mozes! Would fight with his own shadow.… Go on, Paul.
PAUL. And now for my own terms.
DEEGAN. Oh!
PAUL. Why do you ejaculate? As a man of the world, you didn’t expect a stranger to cultivate wrinkles over your affairs for nothing, did you?
DEEGAN. I expect nothing for nothing. Name your terms.
PAUL. Twenty pounds sterling. I want to hit Chicago a clout.
DEEGAN. Not unreasonable. I’ll do better, Paul. I’ll give you ten pounds and Daniel’s ticket and portmanteau.…
DAN [wildly]. Flames! am I not for the water?
DEEGAN. Silence, boy!… Mr. O’Hagan, has Daisy Mullan a case against me for breach of contract?
O’HAGAN. She has. Once she settles with the bank she has a very good case indeed. But without Paul Twyning’s evidence her case falls down.
PAUL. My sowl, with Dan’s ocean ticket and ten pounds in my fob, she’ll have some fun serving me with a summons.
The DEEGANS applaud.
DEEGAN. Paul Twyning, you are a man of ripe understanding. If you were in my shoes how would you meet this case?
PAUL. I’d sign the pub. over to Patrick and the farm to my son Daniel, the said Patrick to pay me a small yearly rent, and the said Daniel to pay me a pound a week for life, with the use of the grey mare and trap on Sundays, market-days and Court days.
DEEGAN. Paul Twyning, you are a gifted man.… Patrick and Daniel, would that settlement content you?
PATRICK. God bliss you, father. I’d never taste it again.
MRS. DEEGAN. It’s more than we desarve, granda.
DEEGAN [to DAN]. And what do you say, boy?
DAN [lamely]. Rose and me would be good to you, fader.… You could do all the plannin’, and we’d do the work.… Rose can milk cows and feed pigs and keep a house clean.
DEEGAN. That’s a wise answer, boy. I’ll speak to the priest myself, and you’ll be married in three days.
DENIS. She’ll not come empty-handed. I’ll give her thirty pound and the spotted cow.
DEEGAN. We neither want your spotted cow, nor your money, nor your friendship.
PAUL. Here! Mr. Deegan, let yourself and Denis shake hands. Dammit alive, life’s too short to quarrel, and it’s disedifying to see two good neighbours—the backbone of the parish—at loggerheads.
DEEGAN. Denis has heard what I said. If he wishes, after that, to shake hands, I have no objection.
DENIS. And you heard what I said, too [shaking hands with OLD DEEGAN]. I’ll speak out my mind, James Deegan. I’ve been trying and trying these thirty years past to get a good strong lawshoot agen you, but you always wriggled out one way or other, and you’ve tricked me agen.
DEEGAN. If I were a bit younger, Denis, I’d have met you in the Four Courts on this case; but I’ve beaten you at home.
DENIS. I admit. But if ever I get a chance at Dan.…
PAUL. Ah, quit talking, Denis.… You rural people are the devil for law. You’d try to get a writ on a rabbit, for trespass.
DAN. Come on, Rose, till I show you the big house.… I’m in flames, but this is a miracle. [He takes ROSE into the room.]
PATRICK [to MRS. DEEGAN]. Come on, Janey, till we get a look at the house, too. As Dan says, it’s a miracle. It is, by Mozes!
PATRICK and MRS. DEEGAN go into the room. DAISY comes in flashily dressed.
DAISY. Denis M’Gothigan here! Some more plotting? Some more crooked work, eh?
PAUL. Mr. Deegan has just settled Dan’s breach case, Miss Mullan, and I hope he’ll settle his own in due coorse.
DAISY. That’s up to himself. I don’t want no law, but I ain’t no softy. If Mr. Deegan wants a peaceable settlement, I’m quite ready to discuss.… I’ve figured up your assets, James Deegan, and reckon you’re worth about five thousand pounds. Don’t you think two thousand of that’s doo me for breach of contract?
DEEGAN. I’ll have to consult my lawyer about that.
DAISY. Waal, mind, I ain’t coming back here with my finger in my mouth to sue for terms. If you don’t want a settlement, say so, and I’ll see a lawyer in town.
O’HAGAN [rising]. Mr. Deegan, I want two words with you. Come outside.
OLD DEEGAN and O’HAGAN go out back.
DENIS [rising]. Faith, I’ll come with you. I want a drink at the pump. [He goes out back.]
DAISY. Paul Twyning, what game are you playing? You’ve kept me guessing all along the line. What are you up to?
PAUL. Now for my own Waterloo!… I meant to unfold my story on the way to town, Daisy, but I can as well unfold myself here.… I want your sweet self, Daisy.
DAISY. Whaaaaat!
PAUL. I’ve travelled Ireland, England, and parts of Scotland, but you’re the first woman I’ve encountered with even a suggestion of brains. Before I say another word, Daisy, let me ask you a question. What do you think of Paul Twyning’s intellectual equipment?
DAISY. I think you got that roll of money.
PAUL. My life on you! The money is here. [Shows her the roll of money.] Five hundred and ninety-nine pounds sterling. But the bank will never thumb it. Ould Deegan can pay the bank at his leisure. After his long reign of tyranny, a little touch of humility will do him good.… So what do you say, my honey, if we spend this rowl together?
DAISY. Do you care for me, Paul?
PAUL. If there is true love on earth, Daisy, I’ve found it. The first time I heard your sweet voice was at M’Gothigan’s barn-dance and I kicked off a year every time you spoke.
DAISY. And would you come to America, Paul?
PAUL. The dream of my life has been to salute the statue of Liberty in New York harbour.
DAISY. But what security have I that you mean a square deal?
PAUL. I can give substantial bail for my good behaviour. [Offers her the roll of notes.] Put that in your vanity-bag, dearest.
DAISY. No, sweetheart. You hang on to it yourself.… You’re a nice feller, and look good to me.… Kiss my hand.
PAUL. I’m glad to see you’re affectionate. [Kisses her hand.] We’ll pay Dublin a quiet visit, till this blows over, and then, as Dan says, “the raging main.”
DAISY. My cousin Darby’s going to drive us in. I can pick up my suit-case at the house, passing.
PAUL. Beautiful! We just have nice time to catch the last train … and Darby will drive home empty.
OLD DEEGAN, O’HAGAN and DENIS come in.
O’HAGAN. Miss Mullan, when you settle with the bank will you come right back here? I’ll wait here for you. And we’ll have our offer prepared.… It won’t be ungenerous.
DAISY. Waal, we’ll see. I’ll come right back.… Paul Twyning, are you ready?
PAUL. One moment. I want to see Dan. I want the loan of his shower-proof, for I can’t interview bankers in this raiment.… [He goes into the room.]
DAISY. I believe you folks have got the soft side of Paul Twyning, I do.
O’HAGAN. You are mistaken. There’s no soft side to Paul Twyning.
DAISY. Waal, I’m going to settle with the bank. [Taps her bag.] The money is here.… Not the money was stolen, but other money. And mind, I expect a square deal when I come back.
DEEGAN. And you’ll get it.
PAUL comes from the room, wearing DAN’S new coat and hat.
PAUL. Mr. Deegan, could you oblige me in a loan of ten pounds?
DEEGAN. Oh, I think so. [Gives him the money.]
PAUL. I may need this and I may not, but it’s always well to have it.… Now, Miss Mullan, is your equipage ready?
DEEGAN. Darby Mullan has his car at the gate.
DAISY. Does anyone want to come to town?
O’HAGAN. No, thanks. We all stay here till you come back.
PAUL. Well, good-bye for the present.… You won’t have long to wait.
PAUL and DAISY go out. PATRICK, DAN, MRS. DEEGAN and ROSE come from the room.
PATRICK. Are they away, father?
OLD DEEGAN. They’re off.… And in fifty years’ experience I’ve never been as near beaten.… But all has turned out well in the end.… Mr. O’Hagan has the agreements in his bag. I have no property now in the world. You have the public-house, Patrick, and you, Daniel, have the farm and Rose.… Let Daisy Mullan come back and do her worst.…
O’HAGAN takes out agreements and DEEGAN signs.
DAN. Just if her and Twyning ever comes back, fader.…
DEEGAN. What do you mean, sir? Of course they’re coming back.…
DAN [looks out the window]. I’m in flames, but I’ve my own notion about them coming back! The car’s stopped at Mullan’s, getting out shoot-cases.…
DEEGAN. She wants to show off with her American trappings.
DAN. I’m in flames, but all’s not right! They’re away galloping down the road and laughing like mad.…
DEEGAN. They’ll not laugh so much when they come back and hear my offer.…
PATRICK and MRS. DEEGAN. Ay, when they come back!
DAN. I’m in flames, Paul’s kissing the ould Yankee like a steam-engine.… And she’s letting him.… [Turns from the window.] Honest to God, amen, fader, I believe Paul and ould Daisy ’ill never be….
DEEGAN. Will never what, sir?
DAN. Oh, nothing, fader. Of course you know best. You’re a highly educated man.… And anyway, Paul or no Paul, Daisy or no Daisy, I’ve got my Rose. Amen.
He puts his arm round her as the Curtain falls.