DUTIES OF CHILDREN TO THEIR PARENTS
CHILDREN SHOULD SHARE IN DUTIES
Let the children share in the duties of the home. Even while very young there are many steps that a child may save the mother. Let them do the little things, such as bringing mother’s work basket or having something ready for father’s comfort when he comes home from the day’s work and care. Gradually, as they grow, let the tasks gently shift over to the young shoulders. It results by so doing in the mother always finding time to be the companion of her husband and children—and that they will appreciate.
The prospective and nursing mother should receive especial consideration. It should be known and recognized that her requirements for wholesome food, and above all wholesome surroundings, are necessary for the normal development of her child and for her own physical safety. How can she,—perhaps already a mother of several children, have the needed rest and time to read or walk in the fresh air, unless the family co-operate with her? It is so easy for the husband to direct the children at these times and at all times, as to the care the mother is deserving. We know a gentleman who, as a judge, has never had his opinion on legal questions reversed, would commonly, after dinner, when there was no help in the house, lead his wife to an easy chair, affectionately express his and the family’s appreciation of the fine dinner that they had all enjoyed and turning to their son, would say: “Come, son, we must wash the dishes; we would not be very appreciative were we to permit mother to work longer today.” Some would say that such work is not in keeping with his august position. Be that as it may, one fact remains: He has taught his children to care for their mother in such a way that there will never arise any questions as to her position or her rights.
COURTESIES DUE THE MOTHER
In this same manner the children can be taught that mother will remain happier and younger if she is given the assurance of their love and thoughtfulness by the occasional remembrance of a desirable gift, a book, or a pretty bouquet of flowers. They may be wild flowers, gathered by your own hands. So much the better. The little gifts of labor are so much the sweeter. Then there is mother’s birthday to be remembered by little offerings of love from the family. They do not remind her of advancing years, but count each year a pearl; each pearl a prize. On her wedding anniversary the husband brings to his sweetheart wife some gift as a lover’s token. So as time passes, each year the vows of their youth are renewed and the bonds between them sustained.
The most practical appreciation of love and worth that a woman may show her husband—the provider of her family—is the careful consideration of the best interest of the family. Eventually the man who receives such sympathy and help will find his life being purified and strengthened.
MOTHER SHOULD BE CONFIDED IN
There is not much that can be achieved in the world without knowing conditions and requirements. So it is with the home. The family cannot enjoy the sympathy of the mother without giving her their confidence. The husband who confides his financial affairs to the wife will seldom fail. Let her know the amount and source of his income; let her feel that she is his partner and that a portion of his income is hers, and there will be little danger of financial failure or domestic unhappiness.
A mother’s success with her family depends upon how much she lives in their lives and experiences; the interest she takes in each day’s effort. Even though she cannot go with them she can enjoy their feelings and live them all over again with them in the home. The habit of telling mother everything which has happened during the day is not only a great safeguard to the children, but the mother may live over her childhood days of dolls and toys, and may enlighten her mind by reading and studying with her bright boy and girl; may even dream the sweet love dreams all over again as with a gentle hand and sympathetic heart she guides her children to a life of safety and happiness.
THE DUTIES OF HUSBAND AND WIFE TO EACH OTHER
The mother’s rights are real and comprehensive. They are something not to be disputed. Hers are the greatest in the family. These rights her children may not in early youth be able to fully realize, but these she must teach to them simply and must insist upon. She has rights, very clearly defined, to be accorded by her husband, and if he hesitates she is most unfortunate and he is most unworthy. Her dues from him are the greatest of all. They are the greatest in the world. If she has borne him children she has done for him the utmost that one human being can do for another. She has, literally, given him herself. Well has it been said that a man’s duty to a faithful wife can never end while life lasts. “When she consented to be his helpmate and to virtually transform every organ in her body that his lineage may not die out, that he may have children, healthy, happy and able, she has done more for him than he can ever repay in a lifetime of service. She has taken the chance gladly and risked her life for him.” Under what more tremendous obligation could she place him? She has established a right which covers all things.
These greatest rights—those of the mother from the husband—are so numerous, so all-comprehending, that they cannot be given in detail. They imply simply that he should look upon her as a part of himself and show it instinctively and as a matter of course. She has the right to claim from him that he should always be to her as he was before marriage, save that the relationship is closer and more familiar. What proportion of husbands remember this? How often does there come a time after marriage when the husband forgets that they are one? How often does he show unmistakably that he thinks his family is a drag upon him, that he is bearing a burden, that he deserves especial credit for bearing it and that what he pays out for family expenses he is “giving?” There would be short work were he to assume such an attitude toward his partner in a business venture, yet he is, literally, in partnership with his wife in the greatest business this life affords and that she put in by far the greater part of the capital in the beginning!
AS TO FINANCIAL OBLIGATIONS
If there be anything a wife has a right to be fiercely sensitive about it is absolutely necessary money, according to the standard of living which may have been adopted. What wonder that she should feel grief and resentment when this money is doled out to her as if it were a “gift,” and not infrequently with grudgingness and reluctance and captious words! It is no “gift.” It is no concession. Except when beyond the ordinary requirements of living, within the limit of his means, no man ever “gave” his wife anything. He is simply meeting a wise obligation he has assumed and the manner in which he meets it may be said to afford a fair estimate of the standard of the man. This applies equally to the man of business affairs, to the farmer or to the workman.
To say just how the wife and mother shall assert this right in the matter of money is difficult to say. She should not have to assert it. It is a delicate matter and must ever be between the two, but is referred to here at some length because it is the cause of so much needless unhappiness—this heedless disregard for one of the mother’s rights.
REGARD, PROTECTION AND CONSIDERATION
This matter of being placed under no personal obligation, even implied, is, however, but a specific illustration of one of the rights of a good wife. Her rights are first in all directions. Her rights include the utmost limit of protection and consideration and regard from all about her, and they are granted readily in the household where affection and intelligence prevail. She should not be the one to think of her rights—the good mother rarely is—but those about her—the husband first and all the time—should be the ones to see to it that they are guarded with all jealousy and fairly thrust upon her if she neglects to take them.
It is the mother’s right that what she is doing every day should be appreciated and that she should be assisted in every manner possible. She can never be fully repaid, for hers is the one position requiring constant care and sacrifice, but her burden can be made as easy as possible, and that will more than satisfy her. A wonderful creature is the mother.
MOTHER THE HIGHEST TYPE OF HUMANITY
A broader right of the mother,—and this is one which she may with all propriety assert herself, as she is beginning to do wherever the best and highest thought prevails—is that she is looked upon by the world as being the highest type in example and in fruition of all humanity. She is the extreme of what God has made in human beings of the one who is carrying out, better and better with each age, the wonderful scheme of creation and evolution. She is no longer the mere beaten bearer of her species. She is the keynote; she is the producer and hers is the first guiding hand.