SQUILLY-WIGGLE
The Squilly-wiggle has tried to make up for his lack of dignity by putting a hyphen in the middle of his name. The rest of the animals think it is very conceited of him and try to leave it out when they write him letters, but he has had it put on his calling cards, so there it is.
He is worried always because he never knows quite where his legs are going to take him. He gives them directions every morning and they always start out for the right place, but often just as they arrive at the door of his destination, they turn round and go galloping off to somewhere entirely different. He tries hard to control them but it is very difficult for him, for he is more leg than anything else, except perhaps neck, and that is rather a hindrance than a help because it makes his head so far off from his legs. His tail is entirely neutral and does not help either way. The result of all this is that he is very much aware if he should try and be too firm with his legs they might refuse to work altogether. They have threatened to do this. So he walks all day with his head turned round this way, backwards, so that his legs will not take him somewhere by surprise. They (the legs) are always indicating that they think he should buy a car, so that they would not have to do any more work. They cannot speak in words but they show this feeling by stopping and pointing at a car whenever they see one. This often makes it very difficult for Squilly when he is crossing the road in the crowded traffic, but they have no consideration for his feelings.
Of course his friends say that he simply is not firm enough and that he has no will power. “Just look at his chin,” they say. But personally I sympathize with him and am going to get up a subscription to buy him a motorcycle. I do not know how he will fit himself on to one. Perhaps he can have a side car attached for his neck.
He lives in a bath tub that has been turned upside down. He has it fitted up very comfortably with electric lights and cushions and he warms himself on the hot tap.