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Samantha in Europe

Chapter 4: LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS.
By Marietta Holley
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American LiteratureHumourNovelsTravel Writing

About This Book

The narrator and her husband travel across Europe, reporting humorous misadventures, cultural misunderstandings, and vivid sightseeing from Ireland and Scotland through England, France, Germany, Switzerland, Italy, and Spain. Visits to castles, cathedrals, museums, mountain summits, and ruins are narrated alongside encounters with eccentric local characters, guides, and fellow travelers. Domestic homespun commentary and satiric observations contrast foreign customs with the travelers' home sensibilities, yielding comic episodes and thoughtful reflections before the pair return home with new anecdotes and modest lessons learned.

LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS.

PAGE
“He riz right up and shook his fist at the man with the nightcap” Frontispiece
Twilight on the broad ocean 1
Asleep in his narrer bunk 4
Two prettier, winnin’er creeters never lived than them two 9
“Aunt Samantha, where is Heaven? Is it up in the sky?” 12
He sassed him and yelled out, “You dum fool, you, throw me a board!” 16
“It depends on whose lives they be” 18
Josiah and me put on our strongest specks 27
It wuz very dressy when it wuz done 31
A dark figger that riz up like a strange picter aginst the sunset 34
“I don’t love to hear that; that sounds bad” 39
“‘That man is a Christian.’ ‘How do you know?’ ‘Because he is drunk’” 45
“Uncle Sam a-wadin’ in sin up to his old knee jints” 49
The game of Bulls and Bears 52
Al Faizi made a deep bow, almost to the floor 55
Sez I, a-risin’ up in the democrat, “I’ll git out” 61
She met me with a sweet smile 68
Finally, he got to be quarrelsome 75
Ellick lay drunk in the office 80
It wuz Ellick Gurley 87
“Yes, it wuz sunthin’ else; it wuz you” 97
“Save the Sam, it may come in handy in the futer” 102
With one of his low, reverential bows 112
As the elder took it he turned pale 125
I took down my old Atlas 131
In time to kiss us and clasp our hands in partin’ 139
Her big blue eyes wuz full of tears 142
Then took his umbrell and started for the door 147
We tottered up on deck, two pale, thin figgers 151
The lord with a pink paper suit on 157
With a stern look, calculated to wither him 166
We went in what they call a “jauntin’ car” 171
Three beautiful lakes 184
Drinkin’ and tobacco-smokin’ in the little hovel drove ’em out 189
Drippin’ wet when he come back 201
Alice stood there, white and tremblin’ 206
A dark figger a-standin’ up on a little rock 209
I laid out to talk to Victoria on the subject 217
Samantha and Ellen Douglas 219
This immortal pair of lovers 230
The same furies that pursued the drunken Tam 238
Edinburgh Castle 250
The National Covenant signed by the Earl of Sutherland 254
When Prince Charlie and Flora Macdonald parted 259
“I could sing to you,” sez he 263
“When they got dirty, jest wet a towel and clean ’em off” 268
“I never should think of usin’ it” 274
Josiah wuz dretful took with it 281
“What a sensation it would create in Jonesville!” 285
That sentinul twelve or fourteen hundred years ago 289
“With the ends of the fingers a-hangin’ down” 294
Robin Hood 299
“It don’t pay to tussel with ’em” 301
Martin sent his card in 307
Josiah’s home-made waterfall 313
Her common-sense shoe 319
A quaint, old-fashioned tarvern 322
Says he, “I’m a-goin’ back—it is my duty” 328
Shakespeare’s ghost reading the effusions on the walls of his house 337
A great many portraits of Shakespeare 344
The font in which Shakespeare was baptized 350
The supper that man eat wuz enormous 353
“You couldn’t eat that full of porridge” 359
“The more I see of moats, the more determined I be to have one round our house” 362
“I am going to work for the poor” 370
My tone chilled him to the veins 379
Martin with his patronizin’ ways 384
A livin’ poem bound up in a girl’s sweet body 386
Them letters wuz a stroke of genius 391
A hull soap-box full 395
We stood long and silently by the graves of the great dead 401
An immense chair, the four legs bein’ four animals 407
“When I’m elected to Congress I’m goin’ to wear my hat the hull time” 415
That little dude doctor, with his cane and his eyeglass 421
“I have had some trouble with my back lately, and I want you to look at it” 424
Samantha’s faith cure 427
“Yes,” sez Josiah, “old Domono probble had his hands full with her” 442
“Almost in the shadow of the Bank of England, I found the greatest want and wretchedness” 455
Right in front of the tarvern, I have seen with my own eyes as many as five teams and two open buggies 459
“Be you any kin of Bildad Henzy, of Jonesville?” 468
Napoleon’s tooth 472
Josiah at the London “Zoo” 477
“Calf-o-lay! I hain’t a calf or a ox!” he shouted 486
“How stylish I would look” 489
“I don’t spoze I could ever git to be nigh so graceful as she is” 492
Josiah, “cultered and travelled,” schemes for Jonesvillian out-door dinner parties, à la Paris, and how Samantha foresees the result 500
There wuz the clothes he wore that he ust to button over that restless, ambitious heart 505
With his arms folded, and that old hat of hisen on, and his inscrutable eyes fixed on the heights 512
A-wipin’ my face on sech genteel towels 518
“I believe he’d sell the steelyards that Jestice weighs things in, if he could git a few cents for ’em” 523
“No attention paid to rumatiz, or meal times, or corns” 526
“A woman jest dressin’ herself—she seems all broke up” 537
I thought more’n likely I should be melted into tears 540
A-leadin’ Adrian and a-plannin’ sunthin’ with him relatin’ to a whistle 543
A hogsit as big as the Jonesville tarvern 553
We did indeed go slow, but sure; for in two hours’ time we arrove on the summit 556
“They have emulative Mas, who are bound that they shan’t be out-travelled” 561
Ye-o-lo-leo-leo-leo—the melogious cry of the Alpine shepherds 563
Listening to the organ’s grand, melancholy voice 566
I thought considerable about William Tell and his exploits with Gessler, apples, etc. 568
Divine realms of melody wuz brung to view by his heavenly vision 579
“If this smell keeps on, and the dum muskeeters keeps on a-bitin’, one man will ‘see Venice and die’” 581
“Next thing I’d know you’d have a inquisition a-goin’ on” 588
The Tower of Pisa 599
The Colosseum 602
“The guides went ahead with flarin’ lights” 607
Mr. Goldwind, one of Martin’s business rivals 616
“I have faith that it aches like the old Harry” 623
I see one of the officials take up my sheep’s-head nightcap 628
A smile of admiration swep’ over his dark visage 628
Heavey, rough carts, drawed by an ox and a cow lashed together by ropes wound round their horns 631
At my request he hooked up my dress skirt in the back 647
She knowed me to once—a happy smile curved her pretty lips 653
The Matador 661
His victim 661
How cold his feet must have been cold mornin’s 666
“I go back to my own country—I have many things to teach my people—to avoid” 675
They had sent Philury out, like a dove, on the front doorstep to meet us 684
His looks wuz so onbecomin’ to a deacon and a path-master 687
Sez Martin agin, “I am sick to death of these everlasting complaints” 698
He fell down jest like a log at my feet 701
A faithful creeter with a strong breath, caused by stimulants, I believe 704
He busted out into tears and buried his face in his hands 709
Finis 714