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Satiro-Mastix; or, the Vntrussing of the Humorous Poet cover

Satiro-Mastix; or, the Vntrussing of the Humorous Poet

Chapter 13: Epilogus:
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About This Book

A sharp, episodic stage satire that answers a contemporary theatrical quarrel by attacking a self-styled moralist poet and his pedantic followers. It mixes broad comic episodes, coarse invective, and parodic character types to expose pretension and insist that popular theatre and practical craft deserve respect. Rapid-fire gibes and stage skirmishes single out a rival dramatist’s mannerisms and allies, producing a partisan, defensive vindication of the author’s circle while showcasing the rough energy and topical bite of city comedy.

Epilogus:

Tucca. Gentlemen, Gallants, and you my little Swaggerers that fight lowe: my tough hearts of Oake that stand too’t so valliantly, and are still within a yard of your Capten: Now the Trumpets (that set men together by the eares) haue left their Tantara-rag-boy, let’s part friends. I recant, beare witnes all you Gentle-folkes (that walke i’th Galleries) I recant the opinions which I helde of Courtiers, Ladies, & Cittizens, when once (in an assembly of Friers) I railde vpon them: that Hereticall Libertine Horace, taught me so to mouth it. Besides, twas when stiffe Tucca was a boy: twas not Tucca that railde and roar’d then, but the Deuill & his Angels: But now, Kings-truce, the Capten Summons a parlee, and deliuers himselfe and his prating company into your hands, vpon what composition you wil. Are you pleas’d? and Ile dance Friskin for ioy, but if you be not, by’th Lord Ile see you all——heere for your two pence a peice agen, before Ile loose your company. I know now some be come hyther with cheekes swolne as big with hisses, as if they had the tooth-ach: vds-foote, if I stood by them, Ide bee so bold as——intreate them to hisse in another place. Are you aduiz’d what you doe when you hisse? you blowe away Horaces reuenge: but if you set your hands and Seales to this, Horace will write against it, and you may haue more sport: he shall not loose his labour, he shall not turne his blanke verses into wast paper: No, my Poetasters will not laugh at him, but will vntrusse him agen, and agen, and agen. Ile tell you what you shall doe, cast your little Tucca into a Bell: doe, make a Bell of me, and be al you my clappers, vpon condition, wee may haue a lustie peale,

this colde weather: I haue but two legs left me,
and they are both yours: Good night
my two penny Tenants
God night.

FINIS.