Servants and service

Formerly, there was such a decided difference between the dress of mistress and maid that there was no mistaking the one for the other. Now, much greater latitude is permitted; and it is sometimes said that, if we wish to distinguish the mistress, we must look for the more plainly dressed of the two when the maid is also present. Some ladies do not interfere in the matter so long as their domestics dress quietly and neatly when on duty.

Without going far into the question, let me give you a little advice on the subject. It will be just the same as I would offer to my own children or to any other girl who might wish for it. Regulate the amount you spend by your actual requirements. Do not spend all you can upon dress just because you have the money. Remember there are other ways in which your spare wages may be wisely and well laid out or laid by. I say laid by, because, whatever be your income, you should try to save something out of it for the proverbial rainy day. There are plenty of ways by which thrifty people may save and invest even very small sums, and by a penny at a time, if they can afford no more.

For instance, the post office will supply you with a form on which you can stick a new postage stamp, bought with a spare penny. When twelve stamps have thus been affixed, you can take them to the post office, receive back their value in the shape of a shilling, and make that your first deposit in the savings bank there. Make a beginning, and you are almost sure to go on. If you can spare a shilling at a time, you need not buy stamps, but become a savings bank depositor at once.

It is a pleasant thing to have a little money, your own honest earnings, to fall back upon if sickness should come or you are out of place. Or you may help the good father and mother to whom you owe so much, or, if they do not need it, in due time spend your earnings on furnishing your future home. Which of us at some time has not known a girl who, having spent all her means on ‘fine feathers,’ has had to be a burden on hard-working parents in such seasons of trouble as come with sickness or want of employment?

Then, beside laying by money, you should have some to lend or lay out in our Master’s service. Because you are young girls in situations, are you to have no share in Christian work, to do nothing for love of that dear Saviour who gave His life for you? You would be very angry indeed if any one were to say that you should have neither part nor lot in sending missionaries to the heathen, at home and abroad, in spreading the written Word of God, so that all may possess a copy, or in caring for the sick and suffering in homes and hospitals.

My own experience shows me that many amongst you give almost beyond your means, and contribute nobly and lovingly to many a good work. If some have not done so, they will, I trust, take this reminder in good part, and spare a trifle, remembering that most of our great societies owe more to the small contributions of the many than to the larger ones of the few.

Going back to the subject of dress, let me advise you to choose quiet colours and as good a material as you can afford. Such will never become conspicuous, they will wear double the time, look well to the last bit, and cost no more for making than the commonest stuff you could purchase; so there would be a real saving, to begin with, in this last item.

Have your gowns made well, but in a simple style. There is no reason why you should not display excellent taste in this matter. But good taste never chooses staring colours or extreme styles which are likely to attract notice and encourage rude remarks on the fast appearance of the wearer. Good taste never loads poor materials with tawdry trimmings, which only make a dress look shabby the sooner, and are equally costly and useless. Good taste and good sense alike suggest that our clothing should be in accordance with our means, and fitted for the work we have to do and the position we occupy in the world.

The above rules apply equally to every article worn. Never sacrifice the comfort of having a good supply of warm, well-made underclothing, and of being neatly and strongly shod, for the sake of mere outside finery, such as you are perhaps half-ashamed to wear, knowing that it is unsuitable, and wholly afraid to be seen in by your hard-working, sensible mother.

Lastly, save the money to pay for what you buy at the time when you get it. Those who have to run into debt usually pay dearly for the accommodation, and especially those who can least afford the extra price. Tradesmen know quite well that they run some risk in trusting young girls, who generally have nothing but their wages to fall back upon, and whom sickness might deprive of the power to earn any. Extra risks must mean the putting on of extra profits, and thus those who run into debt pay a higher price for their articles than those who go money in hand.

Now a word about visitors. Some mistresses draw a very hard-and-fast line on this subject, and will allow none. Servants may visit their friends at stated intervals, but they are forbidden to receive even those nearest and dearest to them under the roof which shelters themselves. Most mistresses, I believe, act differently from this, and, considering what their own children would feel if they were amongst strangers, allow all reasonable liberty in this respect. A right-minded girl will never abuse this privilege, or try to introduce into the house of her employers any person of whose presence they would be likely to disapprove.

Remember, it is your duty to fall in with the rules of the household in which you serve, and employers have often very good reasons for such as may appear too strict in your eyes. In this, as in all your dealings, act straightforwardly, and never bring in a visitor by stealth, or in the absence of the family. Many a robbery has been successfully carried out through the folly of young servants who have listened to the flattering words of chance acquaintances whose real object was to obtain a knowledge of the premises, and to find out where the valuables were kept. Through such visitors a servant’s character has been lost, and a girl who would not have taken a farthing dishonestly has been suspected of being an accomplice of thieves, and punished as such.

When visitors come by permission of the mistress, I think the latter should always see them, say a few words of kindly welcome, ask after the other members of the absent family, and thus manifest her interest in what gives pleasure to her maid. She will not be the worse served for doing this, and for showing that, amid her own household cares and occupations, she has a heart large enough and warm enough to sympathise with the joys and sorrows of all around her.

But there may be, and I trust there often is, a far stronger bond of union between mistress and servant than any which could result from the mere fact of being placed in these relations one towards another. It is not work well done and wages regularly paid—not the mere ministering on the one hand and being ministered to on the other—not the being members of the same household band and dwelling under the same roof, which can create this bond of union to which I have alluded.

No, there is something better still. It is the recognition of the great truth that, while there may be a difference in our social positions and duties here, we are alike servants of a Heavenly Master. If we are both Christians we are sisters in Christ, members of one body, and looking to one glorified Head, children of the same family, with God Himself for our Father.

Some years ago I read a brief extract from an article which was published in one of the reviews—I think the Nineteenth Century—and by a lady writer. Though I never read the whole article, I remember the little portion I did see, and how the author suggested that we mistresses should give our servants a share with ourselves in some special Christian work, such as visiting and relieving the sick poor, etc. She also stated her belief that no lady’s work could have its full value unless united with such help, and no relations with outside helpers could equal those which might subsist between Christian mistress and maid, living under one roof, knowing each other’s weaknesses, and engaged in a work where the one who in other respects was first might be last, and the last first.

I have no copy of the words, and do not profess to quote them literally. But I remember the impression they produced on my mind, because they agreed not only with my own opinion, but with my practice and the experience of years. I read the words aloud to a young girl who was at the moment preparing the table for dinner, and, as I finished them, said,—

‘We realized the truth of what this lady has written a long time ago, did we not?’

‘Yes, indeed,’ she said, her face glowing with honest pleasure, for she was and is my willing and capable helper in the conduct of a large mothers’ meeting—entering heart and soul into the work, respected and loved by the members of the class.

And those who are at home whilst she and I are at the class help also, for they take the share of work which does not belong to their departments during her absence. I am thankful to say that we never hear any one of them say, ‘It is not my place,’ but that they work together as members of a family, and, above all, as God’s children.

Years before, another girl who is now a happy wife and mother, rendered me the same kind of help at the class, and with equal interest and heartiness.

Going further back still, there comes before my mind’s eye the picture of a bright young face, that of a housemaid then in our service. I was ailing for some time and unable to go out on Sunday evenings; and when it was this girl’s turn to stay in the house, I always called her to sit with me, that we might talk, read, and pray together. I do not remember ever spending evenings at home with more true pleasure and spiritual profit than these.

The girl was such a bright Christian; and when she began to speak of the way in which she had been led to realize the great love of our Father, God, in giving His dear Son to die for sinners, and of her share in that finished work, I used to think her dear, earnest face was one of the sweetest pictures that my eyes ever rested upon.

I never think of her without remembering the happy seasons of truly Christian communion we enjoyed, and offering a prayer that her influence in her own home may always be an equally blessed and useful one to what it was in ours. She would teach our children sweet hymns, both words and tunes, and it used to be delightful to hear her rich, full voice mingling with their childish ones in songs of praise to God.

At that time a very dear friend, a clergyman, was a frequent visitor at our house. None of our servants attended his church, but he never crossed our threshold without saying a few kind words to whichever he happened to see. He would ask after their health with the same courtesy that he manifested towards the heads of the family, and contrive, in a few syllables, to show them that he was ever solicitous to leave a little message from his Divine Master, to sow a little seed which might produce fruit to His glory, and for the good of an immortal soul.

How this was appreciated by our girls, and especially by the dear lassie to whom I have alluded! How she would try to repay the interest thus manifested by the most thoughtful attentions that she could show when waiting at table! The clergyman’s health was failing at the time, and he was ordered to winter abroad. On his return, the young waitress was the first to see him approaching the house, and, noticing that our dear friend was looking weaker and more worn than when he left England, she came to me sobbing and with her good, true face expressing the deepest sorrow.

I thought she must have received bad news from home, but as soon as she could answer she explained the cause of her tears. ‘It is not that,’ she said. ‘They are all well; but Mr. —— is coming up the walk, and he is looking worse than ever. He is stooping like quite an old man. I am so sorry, I am so sorry. He is so kind and good.’ Some one else had to answer the door to our friend, who, not seeing the usual face, inquired after the girl. He was deeply touched on finding that her tears and trouble on his account had made her absolutely unable to meet him.

During dinner, when the girl was in attendance, it was pleasant to see the manner in which she showed her grateful sympathy by anticipating the clergyman’s slightest want, by offering a little dainty dish in a sort of beseeching way, and venturing to hint that it was ‘very nice,’ as she lingered a moment to see if he would recall his first refusal.

Our friend’s wan face lighted with a kindly smile as he said, ‘I must taste this, as you say it is so good;’ and he helped himself to a small portion, to the girl’s great delight.

Afterwards he spoke of this little incident, and of the true sympathy with his weakness and suffering which she manifested in every word and act.

‘In these days,’ he said, ‘a kind of stony unconsciousness is generally required in table attendants. But for my part, I would rather have your bright-faced waitress, whose countenance is perpetually reflecting the quick sympathies of her true, warm heart, than a whole regiment of well-drilled waiting machines.’

Do not imagine for an instant that this sympathy in work and consequent familiar intercourse ever made our servants less obedient or respectful. The contrary was the case. Communion in Christian work, life, and aim, whilst it will bring about frequent and close familiar intercourse between mistress and maid, would be the last thing in the world to engender the sort of familiarity which ‘breeds contempt.’

No. This kind of union will be productive of mutual and ever-growing affection and respect, and will alike tend to the well-being of the family itself, and of all who are brought within the sphere of its influence. Those who are Christ’s servants are always more faithful to their earthly employers than are any others. Those who, filling the place of mistresses, most earnestly desire to serve the Lord, are ever the most patient in dealing with others, and most truly reasonable in their requirements.