A MIDSUMMER NIGHT’S DREAM
QUINCE.
Is all our company here?
BOTTOM.
You were best to call them generally, man by man, according to the scrip.
QUIN.
Here is the scroll of every man’s name, which is thought fit, through all Athens, to play in our interlude before the Duke and the Duchess on his wedding-day at night.
BOT.
First, good Peter Quince, say what the play treats on; then read the names of the actors; and so grow to a point.
QUIN.
Marry, our play is, the most lamentable comedy, and most cruel death of Pyramus and Thisby.
BOT.
A very good piece of work, I assure you, and a merry. Now, good Peter Quince, call forth your actors by the scroll. Masters, spread yourselves.
QUIN.
Answer as I call you. Nick Bottom, the weaver.
BOT.
Ready. Name what part I am for, and proceed.
QUIN.
You, Nick Bottom, are set down for Pyramus.
BOT.
What is Pyramus? a lover or a tyrant?
QUIN.
A lover, that kills himself most gallant for love.
BOT.
That will ask some tears in the true performing of it; if I do it, let the audience look to their eyes; I will move storms, I will condole in some measure. To the rest: yet my chief humour is for a tyrant; I could play Ercles rarely, or a part to tear a cat in, to make all split.
This was lofty! Now name the rest of the players. This is Ercles’ vein, a tyrant’s vein; a lover is more condoling.
QUIN.
Francis Flute, the bellows-mender.
FLU.
Here, Peter Quince.
QUIN.
Flute, you must take Thisby on you.
FLU.
What is Thisby?—a wandering knight?
QUIN.
It is the lady that Pyramus must love.
FLU.
Nay, faith, let me not play a woman; I have a beard coming.
QUIN.
That’s all one: you shall play it in a mask, and you may speak as small as you will.
BOT.
And I may hide my face. Let me play Thisby, too; I’ll speak in a monstrous little voice: “Thisne, Thisne”; “Ah, Pyramus, my lover, dear! thy Thisby, dear, and lady dear!”
QUIN.
No, no; you must play Pyramus; and, Flute you Thisby.
BOT.
Well, proceed.
QUIN.
Robin Starveling, the tailor.
STAR.
Here, Peter Quince.
QUIN.
You, Pyramus’ father; myself, Thisby’s father; Snug, the joiner; you, the lion’s part; and, I hope, here is a play fitted.
SNUG.
Have you the lion’s part written? Pray you, if it be, give it me, for I am slow of study.
QUIN.
You may do it extempore, for it is nothing but roaring.
BOT.
Let me play the lion, too: I will roar, that I will do any man’s heart good to hear me; I will roar, that I will make the Duke say: “Let him roar again, let him roar again.”
QUIN.
And you should do it too terribly, you would fright the Duchess and the ladies, that they would shriek; and that were enough to hang us all.
ALL.
That would hang us, every mother’s son.
BOT.
I grant you, friends, if you should fright the ladies out of their wits, they would have no more discretion but to hang us; but I will aggravate my voice so that I will roar you as gently as any sucking dove; I will roar you an’ ’twere any nightingale.
QUIN.
You can play no part but Pyramus; for Pyramus is a sweet-faced man; a proper man, as one shall see in a summer’s day; a most lovely, gentleman-like man; therefore you must needs play Pyramus.
BOT.
Well, I will undertake it. What beard were I best to play it in?
QUIN.
Why, what you will.
BOT.
I will discharge it in either your straw colour beard, your orange-tawny beard, your purple-in-grain beard, or your French crown colour beard, your perfect yellow.
QUIN.
Some of your French crowns have no hair at all, and then you will play barefaced. But, masters, here are your parts; and I am to entreat you, request you, and desire you, to con them by to-morrow night; and meet me in the palace wood, a mile without the town, by moonlight; there we will rehearse, for if we meet in the city, we shall be dogged with company, and our devices known. In the meantime I will draw a bill of properties, such as our play wants. I pray you, fail me not.
BOT.
We will meet; and there we may rehearse most obscenely and courageously. Take pains; be perfect. Adieu.
QUIN.
At the duke’s oak we meet.
BOT.
Enough; hold or cut bow-strings.
Act I. Scene II.
BOT.
Are we all met?
QUIN.
Pat, pat; and here’s a marvellous convenient place for our rehearsal. This green plot shall be our stage, this hawthorn-brake our tiring-house; and we will do it in action as we will do it before the Duke.
BOT.
Peter Quince——.
QUIN.
What sayest thou, Bully Bottom?
BOT.
There are things in this comedy of Pyramus and Thisby that will never please. First, Pyramus must draw a sword to kill himself; which the ladies cannot abide. How answer you that?
SNOUT.
By’r lakin, a parlous fear.
STAR.
I believe we must leave the killing out when all is done.
BOT.
Not a whit: I have a device to make all well. Write me a prologue; and let the prologue seem to say, we will do no harm with our swords, and that Pyramus is not killed indeed; and, for the more better assurance, tell them that I, Pyramus, am not Pyramus, but Bottom, the weaver: this will put them out of fear.
QUIN.
Well, we will have such a prologue; and it shall be written in eight and six.
BOT.
No, make it two more; let it be written in eight and eight.
SNOUT.
Will not the ladies be afeard of the lion?
STAR.
I fear it, I promise you.
BOT.
Masters, you ought to consider with yourselves: to bring in—God shield us!—a lion among ladies is a most dreadful thing; for there is not a more fearful wild-fowl than your lion living, and we ought to look to’t.
SNOUT.
Therefore another prologue must tell he is not a lion.
BOT.
Nay, you must name his name, and half his face must be seen through the lion’s neck; and he himself must speak through, saying thus, or to the same defect: “Ladies,”—or, “Fair ladies—I would wish you”—or, “I would request you,”—or, “I would entreat you—not to fear, not to tremble: my life for yours. If you think I come hither as a lion, it were pity of my life: no, I am no such thing; I am a man as other men are”; and there indeed let him name his name, and tell them plainly, he is Snug, the joiner.
QUIN.
Well, it shall be so. But there is two hard things; that is, to bring the moonlight into a chamber, for, you know, Pyramus and Thisby meet by moonlight.
SNOUT.
Doth the moon shine that night we play our play?
BOT.
A calendar, a calendar! look in the almanac; find out moonshine, find out moonshine.
QUIN.
Yes, it doth shine that night.
BOT.
Why, then, may you leave a casement of the great chamber window, where we play, open, and the moon may shine in at the casement.
QUIN.
Ay; or else one must come in with a bush of thorns and a lantern, and say he comes to disfigure, or to present, the person of moonshine. Then there is another thing: we must have a wall in the great chamber; for Pyramus and Thisby, says the story, did talk through the chink of a wall.
SNOUT.
You can never bring in a wall. What say you, Bottom?
BOT.
Some man or other must present wall; and let him have some plaster, or some loam, or some rough-cast about him to signify wall; and let him hold his fingers thus, and through that cranny shall Pyramus and Thisby whisper.
QUIN.
If that may be, then all is well. Come, sit down, every mother’s son, and rehearse your parts. Pyramus, you begin: when you have spoken your speech, enter into that brake, and so every one according to his cue.
(Enter Puck, behind.)
PUCK.
QUIN.
Speak, Pyramus. Thisby, stand forth.
BOT.
QUIN.
BOT.
PUCK.
A stranger Pyramus than e’er play’d here.
FLU.
Must I speak now?
QUIN.
Ay, marry, must you; for you must understand he goes but to see a noise that he heard, and is to come again.
FLU.
QUIN.
“Ninus’ tomb,” man; why, you must not speak that yet; that you answer to Pyramus. You speak all your part at once, cues and all. Pyramus enter: your due is past; it is, “never tire.”
FLU.
(Re-enter Puck and Bottom, with an ass’s head.)
BOT.
QUIN.
Act III, Sc. I, lines 1–107.
THESEUS.
PHIL.
THE.
PHIL.
THE.
PHIL.
THE.
PHIL.
THE.
PHIL.
THE.
HIP.
THE.
HIP.
THE.
(Re-enter Philostrate.)
PHIL.
(Flourish of trumpets.)
(Enter Quince for the Prologue.)
PRO.
THE.
LYS.
HIP.
Indeed he hath played on his prologue like a child on a recorder; a sound, but not in government.
THE.
His speech was like a tangled chain; nothing impaired, but all disordered. Who is next?
(Enter Pyramus and Thisbe, Wall, Moonshine and Lion.)
PRO.
(Exeunt Prologue, Pyramus, Thisbe, Lion and Moonshine.)
THE.
I wonder if the lion be to speak.
DEM.
No wonder, my lord: one lion may, when many asses do.
WALL.
THE.
Would you desire lime and hair to speak better?
DEM.
It is the wittiest partition that ever I heard discourse, my lord.
THE.
Pyramus draws near the wall; silence!
(Re-enter Pyramus).
PYR.
(Wall holds up his fingers.)
THE.
The wall, methinks, being sensible, should curse again.
PYR.
No, in truth, sir, he should not. “Deceiving me,” is Thisby’s cue; she is to enter now, and I am to spy her through the wall. You shall see, it will fall pat as I told you. Yonder she comes.
(Re-enter Thisbe.)
THIS.
PYR.
THIS.
PYR.
THIS.
PYR.
THIS.
PYR.
THIS.
PYR.
THIS.
(Exeunt Pyramus and Thisbe.)
WALL.
THE.
Now is the mural down between the two neighbours.
DEM.
No remedy, my lord, when walls are so wilful to hear without warning.
HIP.
This is the silliest stuff that ever I heard.
THE.
The best in this kind are but shadows; and the worst are no worse, if imagination amend them.
HIP.
It must be your imagination then, and not theirs.
THE.
If we imagine no worse of them than they of themselves, they may pass for excellent men. Here come two noble beasts in, a man and a lion.
(Re-enter Lion and Moonshine.)
LION.
THE.
A very gentle beast, and of good conscience.
DEM.
The very best at a beast, my lord, that e’er I saw.
LYS.
This lion is a very fox for his valour.
THE.
True; and a goose for his discretion.
DEM.
Not so, my lord; for his valour cannot carry his discretions; and the fox carries the goose.
THE.
His discretion, I am sure, cannot carry his valour for the goose carries not the fox. It is well: leave it to his discretion, and let us listen to the moon.
MOON.
DEM.
He should have worn the horns on his head.
THE.
He is no crescent, and his horns are invisible within the circumference.
MOON.
THE.
This is the greatest error of all the rest: the man should be put into the lanthorn. How is it else the man i’ the moon?
DEM.
He dares not come there for the candle; for, you see, it is already in snuff.
HIP.
I am aweary of this moon: would he would change!
THE.
It appears, by his small light of discretion, that he is on the wane; but yet, in courtesy, in all reason, we must stay the time.
LYS.
Proceed, Moon.
MOON.
All that I have to say is to tell you that the lanthorn is the moon; I, the man i’ the moon; this thorn-bush, my thorn-bush; and this dog, my dog.
DEM.
Why, all these should be in the lantern; for all these are in the moon. But, silence! here comes Thisbe.
(Re-enter Thisbe.)
THIS.
LION.
(Roaring) Oh,——.
DEM.
Well roared, Lion.
THE.
Well run, Thisbe.
HIP.
Well shone, Moon. Truly the moon shines with a good grace.
(The Lion shakes Thisbe’s mantle, and exit.)
THE.
Well moused, Lion.
DEM.
And then came Pyramus.
LYS.
And so the Lion vanished.
(Re-enter Pyramus.)
PYR.
THE.
This passion, and the death of a dear friend, would go near to make a man look sad.
HIP.
Beshrew my heart, but I pity the man.
PYR.
DEM.
No die, but an ace, for him; for he is but one.
LYS.
Less than an ace, man, for he is dead; he is nothing.
THE.
With the help of a surgeon he might yet recover, and prove an ass.
HIP.
How chance Moonshine is gone before Thisbe comes back and finds her lover?
THE.
She will find him by starlight. Here she comes; and her passion ends the play.
(Re-enter Thisbe.)
HIP.
Methinks she should not use a long one for such a Pyramus. I hope she will be brief.
DEM.
A mote will turn the balance, which Pyramus, which Thisbe, is the better; he for a man, God warrant us; she for a woman, God bless us.
LYS.
She hath spied him already with those sweet eyes.
DEM.
And thus she means, videlicet:
THIS.
THE.
Moonshine and Lion are left to bury the dead.
DEM.
Ay, and Wall, too.
BOT.
(Starting up.) No, I assure you, the wall is down that parted their fathers. Will it please you to see the epilogue, or to hear a Bergomask dance between two of our company?
THE.
No epilogue, I pray you; for your play needs no excuse. Never excuse, for when the players are all dead there need none to be blamed. Marry, if he that writ it had played Pyramus and hanged himself in Thisbe’s garter, it would have been a fine tragedy; and so it is, truly; and very notably discharged. But, come, your Bergomask: let your epilogue alone.
Act V. Scene I. Line 32–line 369.
ACTORS.
Read the names of the actors, and so grow to a point.
I, 2, 9.
I, 2, 16.
III, 1, 82.
Most dear actors, eat no onions nor garlic, for we are to utter sweet breath.
IV, 2, 43.