Psychopathic: suicidal, then self-mutilative.
Case 193. (MacCurdy, July, 1917.)
An English soldier as a child had night terrors and fear of the dark; as a youth wanted to throw himself down from heights; took delight in seeing animals killed; was shy with both sexes; was never able to run great distances; was taken from school at the age of fifteen for weakness, and had always been subject to headaches, somewhat improved by lenses.
During training sharp pains appeared in the left groin that grew better when the man lay down. These pains were regarded as hysterical. Thereafter began shortness of breath, pain above the heart, with palpitations and occasional attacks of dizziness. After a short sick leave he insisted upon going to the front, though his superior officer thought it unwise, and, after a period of seventeen months training, was finally sent to France in September, 1916.
He was at first somewhat afraid of shells and, though he soon got used to the shells, the horror of the war grew on him, with pity for the Germans as much as for the British. He became depressed over his weakness and when his commanding officer committed suicide got obsessed with the idea of committing suicide himself. He went so far as to drive a knife into his upper lip and to smash a looking-glass to avoid seeing himself. After a long spell of trench duty he had to be sent home incapacitated.
In hospital in England he was depressed and suicidal. He began to want to mutilate himself, yet found that a slight pain and the drawing of blood was all that he really craved. Of course, he had been a failure, but now he rationalized the failure by a comfortable conviction that he should never have been sent to the front. He complained of memory and attention disorder, insisted that he was physically incapable of outdoor exercise, complained of headache if he stayed indoors. He said he wanted to go back to the front; knew, however, that he could not, and even refused to consider the possibility of getting well to work at home. At the time of report he argued there was nothing left but suicide.