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Shells

Chapter 121: THE DIFFERENCE
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About This Book

A collection of lyrical poems presenting concise meditations on everyday experience, emotional states, and moral sentiment. Verses range from tender domestic scenes and reflections on love and loss to contemplations of death, seasonal nature imagery, and occasional civic or social pleas. Many pieces use plain, direct diction and aphoristic lines that offer consolation, moral counsel, or encouragement, while others adopt fanciful or narrative lyric forms. Recurring themes include memory, kindness, resilience, and the search for meaning amid hardship, blending sentimental imagery with accessible moral reflection.

A SUMMER DAY

There's a gaping rent in the curtain
  That longs for a needle and thread,
There's a garment that ought to be finished,
  And a book that wants to be read.
There's a letter that needs to be answered,
  There are clothes to fold away,
And I know these tasks are waiting,
  And ought to be done to-day.

But how can I mend the curtain,
  While watching this silvery cloud,
And how can I finish th' garment.
  When the robin calls so loud.
And the whispering trees are telling
  Such stories above my head,
That I can but lie and listen,
  And the book is all unread.

If I try to write the letter,
  I am sure one half the words
Will be in the curious language
  Of my chattering friends, the birds.
The lilacs bloom in the sunshine,
  The roses nod and smile,
And the clothes that ought to be folded
  And ironed, must wait awhile.

I lie in the locust shadows,
  And gaze at the summer sky,
Bidding the cares and troubles
  And trials of life pass by.
The beautiful locust blossoms
  Are falling about my feet,
And the dreamy air is laden
  With their odors rare and sweet.

The honey-bees hum in the clover,
  The grasses rise and fall,
The robin stops and listens,
  As he hears the brown thrush call.
The humming-bird sings to me softly,
  The butterfly flits away--
Oh, what could be sweeter than living,
  This beautiful summer day!

1869

SONG AND MAID

A poet toiled over a song, for the maid
  Who had plighted her troth to him.
And he leaned, and wrote, in the gathering shade,
  Till his eyes were dim.

But the maiden strolled on the distant beach.
And listed another's tender speech.

The poet sang of her love-lit eye,
  So softly, and deeply blue;
How its soulful glance--half arch, half shy,
  He only knew.

But the maid's blue eyes were shedding their light
On the face of a tall, dark man, that night.

He sang of her hand, so white, and fair,
  And soft as a hand could be.
"And the ring," he sang, "that is gleaming there
  Binds her to me."

But the maid to her tall companion said,
"This ring? 'tis the gift of a friend, now dead."

He sang of her ripe and dewy lips--
  "They are roses before they blow.
And the taste of the nectar that from them drips
  I only know."

But the maid, as she walked in the moonlight mist,
Lifted her face, and was lovingly kissed.

He sang of her voice, "It is soft and clear
  As the voice of a gentle dove.
So tender, that I alone can hear
  Her words of love."

But the maiden whispered to one by the sea,
"I love thee, darling, and only thee."

Ah, poet! finish your last light strain:
  Ah, maid! shall we give you praise, or blame?
You are wringing a heart, with bitter pain,
  Yet helping to laurel a brow with fame.

For out of the depths of a master woe,
  And through the valley of dark despair,
The soul of a singer must grope, and go,
  Ere he wear the purple true poets wear.

ASLEEP

"Come closer," she said, "my sister,
  For I can not see your face.
The day grows dim, and the shadows grim,
  Are gathering on apace.
I am glad that the night is coming:
  I am weary, and want to rest.
What! do you weep, that I fall asleep
  Leaning upon your breast?

"Oh, Sister, I am so tired:
  How tired you can not know.
And a jarring pain, in my weary brain,
  Beats like a cruel blow.
I think it will all have vanished,
  After I sleep awhile.
How sweetly I rest, lying here on your breast.
  In the warmth of your loving smile.

"Such a beautiful dream, my sister,
  I dreamed while I slept last night.
I thought he was true: and he came with you,
  And kissed me in love's delight.
And he said--. But I am so weary,
  I will sleep ere I tell the rest."
But the sister wept, for the maiden slept
  In the sleep of death, on her breast.

1869

TWO COUNTS

If I count my life by the ticking of clocks,
  In the old methodical way,
If I count by the years, and the years' twelve blocks,
  If I figure it out by the ceaseless flocks
Of hours that make a day,
  If I count from the annual calendar,
And trust to the measured years in there,
  Well, then I have turned, we'll say,
But a notch, or two, on the wheel of time;
I am still in the flush of my youths' glad prime;
      My life is new,
        As the count will say.
      I am scarcely through
        With the opening play.
      I am, in truth.
      In the flush of youth,
If I trust to ticking and striking of clocks,
And count by the years, and the years' twelve blocks.

If I count my life by the beat, throb, beat,
  Of the weary heart in my breast,
If I count by the aims that have met defeat,
  And the vain, vain search for rest,
      If I count by tears,
      And by haunting fears,
    By hopes that were all in vain,
    By dear trusts shattered,
    And good ships battered,
  And lost on the treacherous main,
      By faith unfounded,
      And love death-wounded,
  If I reckon it thus, why then
Counting this way, I have lived, we'll say,
  Full three-score years, and ten.

1870

THE WATCHER

"I think I hear the sound of horses' feet.
  Beating upon the gravelled avenue.
Go to the window that looks on the street!
  He would not let me die, alone, I knew!"
Back to the couch the patient watcher passed.
And said, "It is the wailing of the blast."

She turned upon her couch, and seeming, slept,
  The long, dark lashes, shadowing her cheek.
And on, and on, the weary moments crept,
  When suddenly the watcher heard her speak,
"I think I hear the sound of horses' hoofs!"
And answered, "'Tis the rain, upon the roofs."

Unbroken silence: quiet, deep, profound.
  The restless sleeper turns. "How dark! how late!
What is it that I hear--that trampling sound?
  I think there is a horseman at the gate!"
The watcher turns away her eyes, tear-blind.
"It is the shutter, beating in the wind."

The dread night passed. The patient clock ticked on.
  The weary watcher moved not from her place.
The gray, dun shadows of the early dawn,
  Caught sudden glory, from the sleeper's face.
"He comes! my love! I knew he would!" she cried,
And, smiling sweetly in her slumbers, died.

1870

LIFE AND DEATH

Three days agone, and she was here:
  Her light step on the stair was springing.
Her sweet voice fell upon my ear;
  (She mocked the thrushes in her singing.)
The billows of her long, bright hair
  Fell round her, in a golden splendor.
Her face was young and fresh and fair;
  Her eyes were innocent and tender.

Her presence filled the house: each room
  Breathed of her pure and sweet existence.
She was like some rare plant in bloom,
  Its fragrance reaching through the distance.
Here was her ribbon--there her book,
  Beyond, her wreath, or faded flower.
A step, a voice, a laugh, a look,
  Told of her presence, hour by hour.

"How strange is life!" I said, "From naught
  God fashioned out this glowing creature.
Endowed with motion, feeling thought--
  Perfect in symmetry, and feature.
Sweeter than any opening rose,
  All grace and beauty hangs about her.
Though every flower were left that blows,
  Earth would be bare and bleak, without her."

Three days agone! ay! life is strange,
  But death is stranger, vaster, deeper.
It brings us tears, and gloom, and change.
  She was God's sheaf, and Death His reaper.
Three days! and now no voice is heard--
  No light step on the stair is bounding.
In vain the tuneful-throated bird
  Listens to hear her answer sounding.

I cannot find her, anywhere!
  How vast and strange the mystic power,
That leaves but one soft strand of hair,
  Of all that golden, shining shower.
In door, and out, in every place,
  I search and seek; oh, vain endeavor!
The voice, the laugh, the form, the face,
  Have vanished from the earth forever.

A spot of ground, a fresh-turned sod,
  Hides what was beautiful and mortal.
Her spirit (fairer still) to God,
  And life eternal, crossed the portal.
Frailer than any opening rose,
  The winds of earth blew cold about her.
Fairer than any flower that grows.
  Heaven was not complete without her.

1872

AN AUTUMN REVERIE

Through all the weary, hot midsummer time,
  My heart has struggled with its awful grief.
And I have waited for these autumn days,
  Thinking the cooling winds would bring relief.
For I remembered how I loved them once,
  When all my life was full of melody.
And I have looked and longed for their return,
  Nor thought but they would seem the same, to me.

The fiery summer burned itself away,
  And from the hills, the golden autumn time
Looks down and smiles. The fields are tinged with brown--
  The birds are talking of another clime.
The forest trees are dyed in gorgeous hues,
  And weary ones have sought an earthy tomb.
But still the pain tugs fiercely at my heart--
  And still my life is wrapped in awful gloom.

The winds I thought would cool my fevered brow,
  Are bleak, and dreary; and they bear no balm.
The sounds I thought would soothe my throbbing brain,
  Are grating discords; and they cannot calm
This inward tempest. Still, it rages on.
  My soul is tossed upon a troubled sea,
I find no pleasure in the olden joys--
  The autumn is not as it used to be.

I hear the children shouting at their play!
  Their hearts are happy, and they know not pain.
To them the day brings sunlight, and no shade.
  And yet I would not be a child again.
For surely as the night succeeds the day.
  So surely will their mirth turn into tears.
And I would not return to happy hours,
  If I must live again these weary years.

I would walk on, and leave it all behind:
  will walk on; and when my feet grow sore,
The boatman waits--his sails are all unfurled--
  He waits to row me to a fairer shore.
My tired limbs shall rest on beds of down,
  My tears shall all be wiped by Jesus' hand;
My soul shall know the peace it long hath sought--
  A peace too wonderful to understand.

1869

TWO LIVES

An infant lies in her cradle bed:
  The hands of sleep, on her eyelids fall.
The moments pass, with a noiseless tread,
  And the clock on the mantle counts them all.
The infant wakes, with a wailing cry,
But she does not heed, how her life slips by.

A child is sporting, in careless play:
  She rivals the birds with her mellow song:
The clock, unheeded, ticks away,
  And counts the moments that drift along.
But the child is chasing the butterfly,
And she does not heed how her life drifts by.

A maiden stands at her lover's side,
  In the tender light of the setting sun.
Onward and onward the moments glide,
  And the old clock counts them, one by one.
But the maiden's bridal is drawing nigh,
And she does not heed how her life drifts by.

A song of her youth the matron sings,
  And she dreameth a dream, and her eye is wet.
And backward and forward the pendulum swings,
  In the clock that never has rested yet.
And the matron smothers a half-drawn sigh,
As she thinks how her life is drifting by.

An old crone sits in her easy chair;
  Her head is dropped on her aged breast.
The clock on the mantle ticketh there--
  The clock that is longing now for rest.
And the old crone smiles, as the moments fly,
And thinks how her life is drifting by.

A shrouded form, in a coffin bed--
  A waiting grave, in the fallow ground:
The moments pass with a noiseless tread,
  But the clock on the mantle makes no sound.
The lives of the two have gone for ay,
And they do not heed, how the time drifts by.

1869

IN MEMORIUM

(Miss Jennie Blanchard, aged 21 )

Across the sodden field we gaze,
  To woodlands, painted gold and brown;
To hills that hide in purple haze,
  And proudly wear the autumn's crown.
Oh, lavish autumn! fair, we know,
And yet we cannot deem her so.

The blossoms had their little day;
  The grasses, and the green-hung trees.
They lived, grew old, and passed away.
  And yet, not satisfied with these,
The cruel autumn could not pass
Without this last fell stroke: alas!

"Alas," we cry, because God's ways
  Seem so at variance with our own,
And grieving through the nights and days,
  We see not that His love was shown
In gathering to the "Harvest Home,"
Our lost one, from the grief to come.

Oh, Tears! she will not have to weep!
  Oh, Woes! she will not have to bear!
For her, who fell so soon asleep,
  No furrowed face, no whitened hair.
And yetwe would have given her these,
In lieu of heavenly victories.

How weak the strongest mortal love!
  How selfish in its tenderness!
How God's angelic host above
  Must wonder at our blind distress!
We see her still grave, dark and dim,
And they see only Heaven and Him.

Perpetual youth! oh, priceless boon!
  Forever youthful: never old!
How can we think she died too soon?
  What though life's story was half told?
Wiser than all earth's seers, to-day,
Is this fair soul, that passed away.

Magician, sage, philosopher,
  With all their vast brain-wealth combined,
Are only babes, compared with her:
  This soul, that left the "things behind,"
And, "reaching to the things before,"
Gained God, through Christ, forevermore.

October, 1870

MY LOVE

My love is fair as the morn;
  Yes, fair as the summer morning,
When with fold on fold of red, and gold,
  The sun in the east gives warning,
And a soft, rare light, not dim nor bright,
  O'er hill and mountain lingers;
And flower, and vine with jewels shine--
  Bedecked by the fairie's fingers.

My love has eyes like the clouds,
  That are dyed with the autumn's splendor,
So darkly blue, where her soul looks through--
  So truthful and so tender.
When their light is hid by the snowy lid,
  My heart seems lost in shadow.
And her glance will chase the gloom from my face,
  Like sunlight on a meadow.

My love has cheeks like a rose--
  Yes, like a rose in blossom,
And a flake of snow is her polished brow,
  And a drift of snow is her bosom;
And her hair sweeps down, half gold, half brown,
  Like a silken veil, to cover
The matchless grace of her form and face,
  From the burning eyes of her lover.

My love has a voice like a thrush--
  Yes, like a thrush when singing.
And the wondering lark cries, "Listen! hark!"
  When he hears her glad tone ringing.
Oh, she is fair, beyond compare;
  And how her sweet face flushes,
When I whisper low a tale we know--
  And the rose is shamed by her blushes.

1871

THE FROST FAIRY

All day the trees were moaning,
  For the leaves that they had lost.
All day they creaked and trembled,
  And the naked branches tossed,
And shivered in the north wind,
  As he hurried up and down,
Over hill-tops, bleak and cheerless,
  Over meadows, bare, and brown.

"Oh, my green and tender leaflets.
  Oh, my fair buds, lost, and gone!"
So, they moaned through all the daytime,
  So, they groaned, till night came on.
And the hoar-frost lurked, and listened,
  To the wailing, sad refrain.
And he whispered, "Wait--be patient--
  I will cover you again;

"I will clothe you in new garments:
  I will deck you, ere the light.
In a sheen of spotless glory,
  In a robe of purest white.
You shall wear the matchless mantle,
  That the good frost-fairy weaves."
And the bare trees listened, wondered--
  And forgot their fallen leaves.

And the quaint and silent fairy,
  Backward, forward, through the gloom,
Wove the matchless, glittering mantle;
  Spun the frost-thread, on her loom.
And the bare trees talked together--
  Talked in whispers, soft, and low,
As the good and patient fairy
  Moved her shuttle to and fro.

And lo! when the sudden glory
  Of the morning crept abroad,
All the trees were clothed in grandeur;
  All the twiglets robed, and shod
In the glittering, spotless garments,
  That the sunshine decked with gems;
And the trees forgot their sorrow,
  'Neath their robes and diadems.

1870

THE SUMMONS

I think the leaf would sooner
  Be the first to break away,
Than to hang alone in the orchard
  In the bleak November day.
And I think the fate of the flower
  That falls in the midst of bloom
Is sweeter than if it lingered
  To die in the autumn's gloom.

Some glowing, golden morning
  In the heart of the summer time,
As I stand in the perfect vigor
  And strength of my youth's glad prime;
When my heart is light and happy,
  And the world seems bright to me,
I would like to drop from this earth-life,
  As a green leaf drops from the tree.

Someday, when the golden glory
  Of June is over the earth,
And the birds are singing together
  In a wild, mad strain of mirth,
  As the skies of June can be,
I would like to have the summons
  Sent down from God to me.

I would not wait for the furrows--
  For the faded eyes and hair;
But pass out swift and sudden,
  Ere I grow heart-sick with care;
I would break some morn in my singing--
  Or fall in my springing walk,
As a full-blown flower will sometimes
  Drop, all a-bloom, from the stalk.

And so, in my youth's glad morning,
  While the summer walks abroad,
I would like to hear the summons,
  That must come, sometime, from God.
I would pass from the earth's perfection
  To the endless June above;
From the fullness of living and loving,
  To the noon of Immortal Love.

1873

THREE YEARS OLD

Written upon Eva Orton's third birthday.

A robin up in the linden-tree
  Merrily sings this lay:
"Somebody sweet is three years old--
  Three years old to-day."
Somebody's bright blue eyes look up
  Through tangled curls of gold,
And two red lips unclose to say--
  "To-day I am free years old."

Clouds were over the sky this morn,
  But now they are sailing away;
Clouds could never obscure the sun
  On somebody sweet's birthday.
Bluest of skies and greenest of trees,
  Sunlight and birds and flowers,
These are Nature's birthday gifts
  To this sweet pet of ours.

The pantry is brimming with cakes and creams
  For somebody's birthday ball.
Papa and mamma bring their gifts,
  But their love is better than all.
Ribbons and sashes, and dainty robes,
  Gifts of silver and gold,
Will fade and rust as the days go by,
  But their hearts will not grow cold.

Then laugh in the sunlight, somebody sweet--
  Little flower of June!
You have nothing to do with care,
  For life is in perfect tune.
Loving hearts and sheltering arms
  Shall keep old care away
For many a year, from somebody sweet,
  Who is three years old to-day.

Milwaukee, June 26, 1873

THE DIFFERENCE

Up in the cozy chamber,
  Where, on the snowy bed
The dress, and the pearls, and the new false curls,
  For the morrow's use were spread,
The bride-elect and her mother
  Were sitting before the grate,
Talking over the days gone by,
  And planning the future state.

"I really am quite well suited,"
  Said Minnie, "with my outfit--
Jane says Kit Somers trousseau,
  Is nothing compared with it.
That her laces are imitation,
  And her bonnet a perfect fright,
And she says I'll wholly eclipse her
  In everybody's sight.

"And she isn't to make the tour,
  But only to visit awhile.
I declare I'd never be married
  If I couldn't do it in style.
Jane says her jewels, though splendid,
  With mine can never compare:
I tell you I do love Harry,
  When I look at this solitaire.

"And I think he's a darling, mother,
  For he's going to let me board,
At least he will, he says, until
  He finds that he can afford
To purchase that house of Mosleys,
  That splendid brown stone front.
I wouldn't have anything humbler.
  And Harry says he won't.

"My presents are perfectly splendid,
  Much finer than Kit's, I know,
I think that's half of a wedding
  To have such things to show.
If we get that house of Mosleys,
  What a brilliant life we'll live.
Such people as I'll have throng it--
  Such parties as I will give.

"I mean to just queen it, mother,
  In society everywhere,
And my title of Belle of the City
  I shall continue to wear.
I don't believe that a woman
  By marriage should be tied down
To wearing a smile for her husband
  And for all other men a frown.

"I mean to dress better than ever,
  And be just as merry and free.
Children! the troublesome wretches!
  No ma'am, not any for me.
I know I'd be cross and unhappy,
  With children to tease, and annoy.
A joy, you say, to be mother,
  Well, I will be spared that joy."

Across the hall in their bedroom
  A hale old couple sat,
Minnie's grandfather and mother,
  Having a good night chat.
"So, the last of the children is going,"
  Grandmother said, and sighed,
"Minnie, (we named her Mary,)
  To-morrow will be a bride.

"It will be a great occasion,
  All glitter and glow and shine,
A nineteenth century wedding,
  Not much like yours, and mine.
A few good friends were with us,
  When we were married, John,
They came to see us united--
  Not to see what the bride had on.

"I wore a snowy muslin,
  And a white rose in my hair,
No silks nor gems, nor diadems--
  And yet you thought me fair.
We stood in the broad cool kitchen,
  On the white and sanded floor,
And a breeze from the odorous orchard,
  Looked in at the open door.

"The minister read the service
  That made us one for life,
And I was no longer a maiden
  But a loved and cherished wife.
You took me home on the morrow!
  Six miles, in a one-horse chaise;
Folks didn't race over the country
  'Touring' in those old days.

"Our house was a tiny cabin
  That would just hold two, you said,
But ere a year, you found, my dear
  There was room for three, instead.
Ah me! that wonderful baby!
  'Twas a moment of perfect bliss
When I held up the pink faced darling
  For his father's tender kiss.

"Then came a dear little daughter!
  And then more boys and girls
Till you built on a wing to the cabin
  To cover their sunny curls.
There was never a happier woman
  In all of the land I know,
Singing away at my labor--
  Watching the children grow.

"I had my beaux and lovers,
  When I was a girl; but when
I became your bride I put aside
  All thoughts of other men.
Lover, and king, and husband,
  And friend, I found in you,
And you repaid my devotion,
  By being kind, and true.

"Ah well! the world keeps changing
  And weddings have changed with the rest,
People go only to comment
  And see how the bride is drest.
Girls wed houses and titles
  Instead of men as of old,
And babies are out of the fashion
  And all that glitters is gold.

"Perhaps these times are better,
  Though I cannot think them so,
But I am a poor old woman.
  And not supposed to know."
And grandmother finished her musings
  With a meaning shake of the head
Over nineteenth century folly.
  And sighed, and went to bed.

1872

LOVE'S EXTRAVAGANCE

Could I but measure my strength, by my love,
  Were I as strong, as my heart's love is true,
I would pull down the stars, from the heavens above,
  And weave them all into a garland for you.
And brighter, and better, your jewels should be
  Than any proud queen's, that e'r dwelt o'er the sea.
Ay! richer and rarer, your gems, love, should be
  Than any rare jewels that come from the sea.

I would gather the beautiful, delicate green
  From the dress of the spring--with the heaven's soft blue,
And never from east land, to west land were seen
  Such wonderful robes, as I'd fashion for you.
And I'd snatch the bright rays of the sun in my hand
  And braid you a girdle, love, strand over strand.
Ay! one by one, catch the bright rays in my hand
  And braid them, and twine them, all strand over strand.

I would gather the amber, the red and gold dyes,
  That glimmer and glow, in the autumn sunset,
And weave you a mantle; and pull from the skies
  The rainbow to trim it. Ah Love! never yet
Was any proud princess, from east to the west
  So peerlessly jeweled--so royally drest.
Never daughter of princes, in east land or west,
  So decked in rare jewels, so gorgeously drest.

And I'd make you a vail, from the rare golden haze,
  Than Indian Summer spreads over the lea.
And trim it with dew! Queens should envy and praise
  Your matchless apparel, ah darling, but see--
My strength is unequal to what I would do!
  I have only this little low cottage, for you.
Nay! I can not accomplish the thing I would do,
  And I've only this cot and a warm heart for you.

1870

YOU WILL FORGET ME

You will forget me: the years are so tender--
  They bind up the wounds which we think are so deep;
This dream of our youth will fade out as the splendor
  Fades from the sky, when the sun sinks to sleep:
The clouds of forgetfulness, over and over,
  Will banish the last rosy colors away;
And th' fingers of Time will weave garlands to cover
  The scar which you think is a life-mark to-day.

You will forget me:--will thank me for saying
  The words which you think are so pointed with pain,
Time loves a new lay; and the dirge he is playing
  Will change for you soon to a livelier strain.
I shall pass from your life, I shall pass out forever,
  And the hours we have spent, will be sunk in the past.
Youth buries its dead: grief kills seldom, or never,
  And forgetfulness covers all sorrows at last.

You will forget me; the one thing you covet
  Now, above all things will soon seem no prize:
And the heart which is not in your keeping, to prove it
  True or untrue, will lose worth in your eyes.
The one drop to-day, which you deem only wanting
  To make life a joy, will be lost in Time's stream;
You will forget; and the ghost that is haunting
  The aisles of your heart will pass out with the dream.