The Project Gutenberg eBook of Songs of Action
Title: Songs of Action
Author: Arthur Conan Doyle
Release date: July 1, 2003 [eBook #4295]
Most recently updated: July 22, 2021
Language: English
Credits: David Price
SONGS OF ACTION
BY A. CONAN DOYLE
AUTHOR OF
‘MICAH CLARKE’ ‘THE WHITE
COMPANY’
‘RODNEY STONE’ ‘UNCLE
BERNAC’ ETC.
SEVENTH IMPRESSION
LONDON
JOHN MURRAY, ALBEMARLE STREET, W.
1916
[All rights reserved]
CONTENTS
The Song of the Bow |
|
Cremona |
|
The Storming Party |
|
The Frontier Line |
|
Corporal Dick’s Promotion |
|
A Forgotten Tale |
|
Pennarby Mine |
|
A Rover Chanty |
|
A Ballad of the Ranks |
|
A Lay of the Links |
|
The Dying Whip |
|
Master |
|
H.M.S. ‘Foudroyant’ |
|
The Farnshire Cup |
|
The Groom’s Story |
|
A Hunting Morning |
|
The Old Gray Fox |
|
’Ware Holes |
|
The Home-coming of the ‘Eurydice’ |
|
The Inner Room |
|
The Irish Colonel |
|
The Blind Archer |
|
A Parable |
|
A Tragedy |
|
The Passing |
|
The Franklin’s Maid |
|
The Old Huntsman |
THE SONG OF THE BOW
What of the bow?
The bow was made in England:
Of true wood, of yew-wood,
The wood of English bows;
So men who are free
Love the old yew-tree
And the land where the yew-tree grows.
What of the cord?
The cord was made in England:
A rough cord, a tough cord,
A cord that bowmen love;
And so we will sing
Of the hempen string
And the land where the cord was wove.
What of the shaft?
The shaft was cut in England:
A long shaft, a strong shaft,
Barbed and trim and true;
So we’ll drink all
together
To the grey goose-feather
And the land where the grey goose flew.
What of the mark?
Ah, seek it not in England,
A bold mark, our old mark
Is waiting over-sea.
When the strings harp in
chorus,
And the lion flag is o’er
us,
It is there that our mark will be.
What of the men?
The men were bred in England:
The bowmen—the yeomen,
The lads of dale and fell.
Here’s to you—and to
you!
To the hearts that are true
And the land where the true hearts dwell.
CREMONA
[The French Army, including a part of the Irish Brigade, under Marshal Villeroy, held the fortified town of Cremona during the winter of 1702. Prince Eugène, with the Imperial Army, surprised it one morning, and, owing to the treachery of a priest, occupied the whole city before the alarm was given. Villeroy was captured, together with many of the French garrison. The Irish, however, consisting of the regiments of Dillon and of Burke, held a fort commanding the river gate, and defended themselves all day, in spite of Prince Eugène’s efforts to win them over to his cause. Eventually Eugène, being unable to take the post, was compelled to withdraw from the city.]
The Grenadiers of Austria are proper men and
tall;
The Grenadiers of Austria have scaled the city wall;
They have marched from far away
Ere the dawning of the day,
And the morning saw them masters of Cremona.
There’s not a man to whisper, there’s not a
horse to neigh;
Of the footmen of Lorraine and the riders of Duprés,
They have crept up every street,
In the market-place they meet,
They are holding every vantage in Cremona.
The Marshal Villeroy he has started from his
bed;
The Marshal Villeroy has no wig upon his head;
‘I have lost my men!’ quoth he,
‘And my men they have lost me,
And I sorely fear we both have lost Cremona.’
Prince Eugène of Austria is in the
market-place;
Prince Eugène of Austria has smiles upon his face;
Says he, ‘Our work is done,
For the Citadel is won,
And the black and yellow flag flies o’er
Cremona.’
Major Dan O’Mahony is in the barrack
square,
And just six hundred Irish lads are waiting for him there;
Says he, ‘Come in your shirt,
And you won’t take any hurt,
For the morning air is pleasant in Cremona.’
Major Dan O’Mahony is at the barrack gate,
And just six hundred Irish lads will neither stay nor wait;
There’s Dillon and there’s Burke,
And there’ll be some bloody work
Ere the Kaiserlics shall boast they hold Cremona.
Major Dan O’Mahony has reached the river
fort,
And just six hundred Irish lads are joining in the sport;
‘Come, take a hand!’ says he,
‘And if you will stand by me,
Then it’s glory to the man who takes Cremona!’
Prince Eugène of Austria has frowns upon
his face,
And loud he calls his Galloper of Irish blood and race:
‘MacDonnell, ride, I pray,
To your countrymen, and say
That only they are left in all Cremona!’
MacDonnell he has reined his mare beside the
river dyke,
And he has tied the parley flag upon a sergeant’s pike;
Six companies were there
From Limerick and Clare,
The last of all the guardians of Cremona.
‘Now, Major Dan O’Mahony, give up
the river gate,
Or, Major Dan O’Mahony, you’ll find it is too
late;
For when I gallop back
’Tis the signal for attack,
And no quarter for the Irish in Cremona!’
And Major Dan he laughed: ‘Faith, if what
you say be true,
And if they will not come until they hear again from you,
Then there will be no attack,
For you’re never going back,
And we’ll keep you snug and safely in Cremona.’
All the weary day the German stormers came,
All the weary day they were faced by fire and flame,
They have filled the ditch with dead,
And the river’s running red;
But they cannot win the gateway of Cremona.
All the weary day, again, again, again,
The horsemen of Duprés and the footmen of Lorraine,
Taafe and Herberstein,
And the riders of the Rhine;
It’s a mighty price they’re paying for Cremona.
Time and time they came with the deep-mouthed
German roar,
Time and time they broke like the wave upon the shore;
For better men were there
From Limerick and Clare,
And who will take the gateway of Cremona?
Prince Eugène has watched, and he gnaws
his nether lip;
Prince Eugène has cursed as he saw his chances slip:
‘Call off! Call off!’ he cried,
‘It is nearing eventide,
And I fear our work is finished in Cremona.’
Says Wauchop to McAulliffe, ‘Their fire
is growing slack.’
Says Major Dan O’Mahony, ‘It is their last attack;
But who will stop the game
While there’s light to play the same,
And to walk a short way with them from Cremona?’
And so they snarl behind them, and beg them turn and
come,
They have taken Neuberg’s standard, they have taken
Diak’s drum;
And along the winding Po,
Beard on shoulder, stern and slow
The Kaiserlics are riding from Cremona.
Just two hundred Irish lads are shouting on the
wall;
Four hundred more are lying who can hear no slogan call;
But what’s the odds of that,
For it’s all the same to Pat
If he pays his debt in Dublin or Cremona.
Says General de Vaudray, ‘You’ve
done a soldier’s work!
And every tongue in France shall talk of Dillon and of Burke!
Ask what you will this day,
And be it what it may,
It is granted to the heroes of Cremona.’
‘Why, then,’ says Dan
O’Mahony, ‘one favour we entreat,
We were called a little early, and our toilet’s not
complete.
We’ve no quarrel with the shirt,
But the breeches wouldn’t hurt,
For the evening air is chilly in Cremona.’
THE STORMING PARTY
Said Paul Leroy to Barrow,
‘Though the breach is steep and narrow,
If we only gain the summit
Then it’s odds we hold the
fort.
I have ten and you have twenty,
And the thirty should be plenty,
With Henderson and Henty
And McDermott in support.’
Said Barrow to Leroy,
‘It’s a solid job, my boy,
For they’ve flanked it, and they’ve
banked it,
And they’ve bored it with a
mine.
But
it’s only fifty paces
Ere we look them in the faces;
And the men are in their places,
With their toes upon the line.’
Said Paul Leroy to Barrow,
‘See that first ray, like an arrow,
How it tinges all the fringes
Of the sullen drifting skies.
They told me to begin it
At five-thirty to the minute,
And at thirty-one I’m in it,
Or my sub will get his rise.
‘So we’ll wait the signal
rocket,
Till . . . Barrow, show that locket,
That turquoise-studded locket,
Which you slipped from out your pocket
And are pressing with a kiss!
Turquoise-studded, spiral-twisted,
It is hers! And I had missed it
From her chain; and you have kissed it:
Barrow, villain, what is
this?’
‘Leroy, I had a warning,
That my time has come this morning,
So I speak with frankness, scorning
To deny the thing that’s true.
Yes, it’s Amy’s, is the trinket,
Little turquoise-studded trinket,
Not her gift—oh, never think it!
For her thoughts were all for you.
‘As we danced I gently drew it
From her chain—she never knew it
But I love her—yes, I love her:
I am candid, I confess.
But I
never told her, never,
For I knew ’twas vain endeavour,
And she loved you—loved you ever,
Would to God she loved you less!’
‘Barrow, Barrow, you shall pay me!
Me, your comrade, to betray me!
Well I know that little Amy
Is as true as wife can be.
She to give this love-badged locket!
She had rather . . . Ha, the rocket!
Hi, McDougall! Sound the bugle!
Yorkshires, Yorkshires, follow me!’
* * * * *
Said Paul Leroy to Amy,
‘Well, wifie, you may blame me,
For my passion overcame me,
When he told me of his shame;
But when I
saw him lying,
Dead amid a ring of dying,
Why, poor devil, I was trying
To forget, and not to blame.
‘And this locket, I unclasped it
From the fingers that still grasped it:
He told me how he got it,
How he stole it in a valse.’
And she listened leaden-hearted:
Oh, the weary day they parted!
For she loved him—yes, she loved him—
For his youth and for his truth,
And for those dying words, so false.
THE FRONTIER LINE
What marks the frontier line?
Thou man of India, say!
Is it the Himalayas sheer,
The rocks and valleys of Cashmere,
Or Indus as she seeks the south
From Attoch to the fivefold mouth?
‘Not that! Not
that!’
Then answer me, I pray!
What marks the frontier line?
What marks the frontier line?
Thou man of Burmah, speak!
Is it traced from Mandalay,
And down the marches of Cathay,
From Bhamo
south to Kiang-mai,
And where the buried rubies lie?
‘Not that! Not
that!’
Then tell me what I seek:
What marks the frontier line?
What marks the frontier line?
Thou Africander, say!
Is it shown by Zulu kraal,
By Drakensberg or winding Vaal,
Or where the Shiré waters seek
Their outlet east at Mozambique?
‘Not that! Not
that!
There is a surer way
To mark the frontier line.’
What marks the frontier line?
Thou man of Egypt, tell!
Is it traced on Luxor’s sand,
Where Karnak’s painted pillars stand,
Or where
the river runs between
The Ethiop and Bishareen?
‘Not that! Not
that!
By neither stream nor well
We mark the frontier line.
‘But be it east or west,
One common sign we bear,
The tongue may change, the soil, the sky,
But where your British brothers lie,
The lonely cairn, the nameless grave,
Still fringe the flowing Saxon wave.
’Tis that! ’Tis
where
They lie—the men who placed it
there,
That marks the frontier line.’
CORPORAL DICK’S PROMOTION
A BALLAD OF ’82
The Eastern day was well-nigh o’er
When, parched with thirst and travel sore,
Two of McPherson’s flanking corps
Across the Desert were tramping.
They had wandered off from the beaten track
And now were wearily harking back,
Ever staring round for the signal jack
That marked their comrades camping.
The one was Corporal Robert Dick,
Bearded and burly, short and thick,
Rough of speech and in temper quick,
A hard-faced old rapscallion.
The other,
fresh from the barrack square,
Was a raw recruit, smooth-cheeked and fair
Half grown, half drilled, with the weedy air
Of a draft from the home battalion.
Weary and parched and hunger-torn,
They had wandered on from early morn,
And the young boy-soldier limped forlorn,
Now stumbling and now falling.
Around the orange sand-curves lay,
Flecked with boulders, black or grey,
Death-silent, save that far away
A kite was shrilly calling.
A kite? Was that a kite? The
yell
That shrilly rose and faintly fell?
No kite’s, and yet the kite knows well
The long-drawn wild halloo.
And right
athwart the evening sky
The yellow sand-spray spurtled high,
And shrill and shriller swelled the cry
Of ‘Allah! Allahu!’
The Corporal peered at the crimson West,
Hid his pipe in his khaki vest.
Growled out an oath and onward pressed,
Still glancing over his shoulder.
‘Bedouins, mate!’ he curtly said;
‘We’ll find some work for steel and lead,
And maybe sleep in a sandy bed,
Before we’re one hour older.
‘But just one flutter before we’re
done.
Stiffen your lip and stand, my son;
We’ll take this bloomin’ circus on:
Ball-cartridge load! Now, steady!’
With a
curse and a prayer the two faced round,
Dogged and grim they stood their ground,
And their breech-blocks snapped with a crisp clean sound
As the rifles sprang to the ‘ready.’
Alas for the Emir Ali Khan!
A hundred paces before his clan,
That ebony steed of the prophet’s breed
Is the foal of death and of danger.
A spurt of fire, a gasp of pain,
A blueish blurr on the yellow plain,
The chief was down, and his bridle rein
Was in the grip of the stranger.
With the light of hope on his rugged face,
The Corporal sprang to the dead man’s place,
One prick with the steel, one thrust with the heel,
And where was the man to outride him?
A grip of
his knees, a toss of his rein,
He was settling her down to her gallop again,
When he stopped, for he heard just one faltering word
From the young recruit beside him.
One faltering word from pal to pal,
But it found the heart of the Corporal.
He had sprung to the sand, he had lent him a hand,
‘Up, mate! They’ll be ’ere
in a minute;
Off with you! No palaver! Go!
I’ll bide be’ind and run this show.
Promotion has been cursed slow,
And this is my chance to win it.’
Into the saddle he thrust him quick,
Spurred the black mare with a bayonet prick.
Watched
her gallop with plunge and with kick
Away o’er the desert careering.
Then he turned with a softened face,
And loosened the strap of his cartridge-case,
While his thoughts flew back to the dear old place
In the sunny Hampshire clearing.
The young boy-private, glancing back,
Saw the Bedouins’ wild attack,
And heard the sharp Martini crack.
But as he gazed, already
The fierce fanatic Arab band
Was closing in on every hand,
Until one tawny swirl of sand,
Concealed them in its eddy.
* * * * *
A squadron of British horse that night,
Galloping hard in the shadowy light,
Came on
the scene of that last stern fight,
And found the Corporal lying
Silent and grim on the trampled sand,
His rifle grasped in his stiffened hand,
With the warrior pride of one who died
’Mid a ring of the dead and the dying.
And still when twilight shadows fall,
After the evening bugle call,
In bivouac or in barrack-hall,
His comrades speak of the Corporal,
His death and his devotion.
And there are some who like to say
That perhaps a hidden meaning lay
In the words he spoke, and that the day
When his rough bold spirit passed away
Was the day that he won promotion.
A FORGOTTEN TALE
[The scene of this ancient fight, recorded by Froissart, is still called ‘Altura de los Inglesos.’ Five hundred years later Wellington’s soldiers were fighting on the same ground.]
‘Say, what saw you on the hill,
Campesino Garcia?’
‘I saw my brindled heifer there,
A trail of bowmen, spent and bare,
And a little man on a sorrel mare
Riding slow before them.’
‘Say, what saw you in the vale,
Campesino Garcia?’
‘There I saw my lambing ewe
And an army riding through,
Thick and brave the pennons flew
From the lances o’er them.’
‘Then what saw you on the hill,
Campesino Garcia?’
‘I saw beside the milking byre,
White with want and black with mire,
The little man with eyes afire
Marshalling his bowmen.’
‘Then what saw you in the vale,
Campesino Garcia?’
‘There I saw my bullocks twain,
And amid my uncut grain
All the hardy men of Spain
Spurring for their foemen.’
‘Nay, but there is more to tell,
Campesino Garcia!’
‘I could not bide the end to view;
I had graver things to do
Tending on the lambing ewe
Down among the clover.’
‘Ah, but tell me what you heard,
Campesino Garcia!’
‘Shouting from the mountain-side,
Shouting until eventide;
But it dwindled and it died
Ere milking time was over.’
‘Nay, but saw you nothing more,
Campesino Garcia?’
‘Yes, I saw them lying there,
The little man and sorrel mare;
And in their ranks the bowmen fair,
With their staves before them.’
‘And the hardy men of Spain,
Campesino Garcia?’
‘Hush! but we are Spanish too;
More I may not say to you:
May God’s benison, like dew,
Gently settle o’er them.’
PENNARBY MINE
Pennarby shaft is dark and steep,
Eight foot wide, eight hundred deep.
Stout the bucket and tough the cord,
Strong as the arm of Winchman Ford.
‘Never look down!
Stick to the line!’
That was the saying at Pennarby mine.
A stranger came to Pennarby shaft.
Lord, to see how the miners laughed!
White in the collar and stiff in the hat,
With his patent boots and his silk cravat,
Picking his way,
Dainty and fine,
Stepping on tiptoe to Pennarby mine.
Touring from London, so he said.
Was it copper they dug for? or gold? or lead?
Where did they find it? How did it come?
If he tried with a shovel might he get some?
Stooping so much
Was bad for the spine;
And wasn’t it warmish in Pennarby mine?
’Twas like two worlds that met that
day—
The world of work and the world of play;
And the grimy lads from the reeking shaft
Nudged each other and grinned and chaffed.
‘Got ’em all out!’
‘A cousin of mine!’
So ran the banter at Pennarby mine.
And Carnbrae Bob, the Pennarby wit,
Told him the facts about the pit:
How they
bored the shaft till the brimstone smell
Warned them off from tapping—well,
He wouldn’t say what,
But they took it as sign
To dig no deeper in Pennarby mine.
Then leaning over and peering in,
He was pointing out what he said was tin
In the ten-foot lode—a crash! a jar!
A grasping hand and a splintered bar.
Gone in his strength,
With the lips that laughed—
Oh, the pale faces round Pennarby shaft!
Far down on a narrow ledge,
They saw him cling to the crumbling edge.
‘Wait for the bucket! Hi, man! Stay!
That rope ain’t safe! It’s worn away!
He’s taking his chance,
Slack out the line!
Sweet Lord be with him!’ cried Pennarby mine.
‘He’s got him! He has
him! Pull with a will!
Thank God! He’s over and breathing still.
And he—Lord’s sakes now! What’s
that? Well!
Blowed if it ain’t our London swell.
Your heart is right
If your coat is fine:
Give us your hand!’ cried Pennarby mine.
A ROVER CHANTY
A trader sailed from Stepney town—
Wake her up! Shake her up! Try her with the
mainsail!
A trader sailed from Stepney town
With a keg full of gold and a velvet gown:
Ho, the bully rover Jack,
Waiting with his yard aback
Out upon the Lowland sea!
The trader he had a daughter fair—
Wake her up! Shake her up! Try her with the
foresail
The trader he had a daughter fair,
She had gold in her ears, and gold in her hair:
All for bully rover Jack,
Waiting with his yard aback,
Out upon the Lowland sea!
‘Alas the day, oh daughter
mine!’—
Shake her up! Wake her up! Try her with the
topsail!
‘Alas the day, oh daughter mine!
Yon red, red flag is a fearsome sign!’
Ho, the bully rover Jack,
Reaching on the weather tack,
Out upon the Lowland sea!
‘A fearsome flag!’ the maiden
cried—
Wake her up! Shake her up! Try her with the
jibsail!
‘A fearsome flag!’ the maiden cried,
But comelier men I never have spied!’
Ho, the bully rover Jack,
Reaching on the weather tack,
Out upon the Lowland sea!
There’s a wooden path that the rovers
know—
Wake her up! Shake her up! Try her with the
headsails!
There’s a wooden path that the rovers know,
Where none come back, though many must go:
Ho, the bully rover Jack,
Lying with his yard aback,
Out upon the Lowland sea!
Where is the trader of Stepney town?—
Wake her up! Shake her up! Every stick a-bending!
Where is the trader of Stepney town?
There’s gold on the capstan, and blood on the gown:
Ho for bully rover Jack,
Waiting with his yard aback,
Out upon the Lowland sea!
Where is the maiden who knelt at his
side?—
Wake her up! Shake her up! Every stitch a-drawing!
Where is the maiden who knelt at his side?
We gowned her in scarlet, and chose her our bride:
Ho, the bully rover Jack,
Reaching on the weather tack,
Right across the Lowland sea!
So it’s up and its over to Stornoway
Bay,
Pack it on! Crack it on! Try her with the
stunsails!
It’s off on a bowline to Stornoway Bay,
Where the liquor is good and the lasses are gay:
Waiting for their bully Jack,
Watching for him sailing back,
Right across the Lowland sea.
A BALLAD OF THE RANKS
Who carries the gun?
A lad from over the Tweed.
Then let him go, for well we know
He comes of a soldier breed.
So drink together to rock and heather,
Out where the red deer run,
And stand aside for Scotland’s pride—
The man that carries the gun!
For the Colonel rides before,
The
Major’s on the flank,
The Captains and the Adjutant
Are in the
foremost rank.
But when it’s ‘Action
front!’
And
fighting’s to be done,
Come one, come all, you stand or
fall
By the man who
holds the gun.
Who carries the gun?
A lad from a Yorkshire dale.
Then let him go, for well we know
The heart that never will fail.
Here’s to the fire of Lancashire,
And here’s to her soldier son!
For the hard-bit north has sent him forth—
The lad that carries the gun.
Who carries the gun?
A lad from a Midland shire.
Then let him go, for well we know
He comes of an English sire.
Here’s a glass to a Midland lass,
And each can choose the one,
But east and west we claim the best
For the man that carries the gun.
Who carries the gun?
A lad from the hills of Wales.
Then let him go, for well we know,
That Taffy is hard as nails.
There are several ll’s in the place where he dwells,
And of w’s more than one,
With a ‘Llan’ and a ‘pen,’ but it breeds
good men,
And it’s they who carry the gun.
Who carries the gun?
A lad from the windy west.
Then let him go, for well we know
That he is one of the best.
There’s Bristol rough, and Gloucester tough,
And Devon yields to none.
Or you may get in Somerset
Your lad to carry the gun.
Who carries the gun?
A lad from London town.
Then let him go, for well we know
The stuff that never backs down.
He has learned to joke at the powder smoke,
For he is the fog-smoke’s son,
And his heart is light and his pluck is right—
The man who carries the gun.
Who carries the gun?
A lad from the Emerald Isle.
Then let him go, for well we know,
We’ve tried him many a while.
We’ve tried him east, we’ve tried him
west,
We’ve tried him sea and land,
But the man to beat old Erin’s best
Has never yet been planned.
Who carries the gun?
It’s you, and you, and you;
So let us go, and we won’t say no
If they give us a job to do.
Here we stand with a cross-linked hand,
Comrades every one;
So one last cup, and drink it up
To the man who carries the gun!
For the Colonel rides before,
The
Major’s on the flank,
The Captains and the Adjutant
Are in the
foremost rank.
And when it’s ‘Action
front!’
And
there’s fighting to be done,
Come one, come all, you stand or
fall
By the man who
holds the gun.
A LAY OF THE LINKS
It’s up and away from our work to-day,
For the breeze sweeps over the down;
And it’s hey for a game where the gorse blossoms flame,
And the bracken is bronzing to brown.
With the turf ’neath our tread and the blue overhead,
And the song of the lark in the whin;
There’s the flag and the green, with the bunkers
between—
Now will you be over or in?
The doctor may come, and we’ll teach him
to know
A tee where no tannin can lurk;
The
soldier may come, and we’ll promise to show
Some hazards a soldier may shirk;
The statesman may joke, as he tops every stroke,
That at last he is high in his aims;
And the clubman will stand with a club in his hand
That is worth every club in St. James’.
The palm and the leather come rarely
together,
Gripping the driver’s haft,
And it’s good to feel the jar of the steel
And the spring of the hickory shaft.
Why trouble or seek for the praise of a clique?
A cleek here is common to all;
And the lie that might sting is a very small thing
When compared with the lie of the ball.
Come youth and come age, from the study or stage,
From Bar or from Bench—high and low!
A green you must use as a cure for the blues—
You drive them away as you go.
We’re outward bound on a long, long round,
And it’s time to be up and away:
If worry and sorrow come back with the morrow,
At least we’ll be happy to-day.
THE DYING WHIP
It came from gettin’ ’eated, that
was ’ow the thing begun,
And ’ackin’ back to kennels from a ninety-minute
run;
‘I guess I’ve copped brownchitis,’ says I to
brother Jack,
An’ then afore I knowed it I was down upon my back.
At night there came a sweatin’ as left me
deadly weak,
And my throat was sort of tickly an’ it ’urt me for
to speak;
An’
then there came an ’ackin’ cough as wouldn’t
leave alone,
An’ then afore I knowed it I was only skin and bone
I never was a ’eavy weight. I
scaled at seven four,
An’ rode at eight, or maybe at just a trifle more;
And now I’ll stake my davy I wouldn’t scale at
five,
And I’d ’old my own at catch-weights with the
skinniest jock alive.
And the doctor says the reason why I sit
an’ cough an wheeze
Is all along o’ varmint, like the cheese-mites in the
cheese;
The
smallest kind o’ varmint, but varmint all the same,
Microscopes or somethin’—I forget the varmints’
name.
But I knows as I’m a goner. They
never said as much,
But I reads the people’s faces, and I knows as I am
such;
Well, there’s ’Urst to mind the ’orses and the
’ounds can look to Jack,
Though ’e never was a patch on me in ’andlin’
of a pack.
You’ll maybe think I’m
boastin’, but you’ll find they all agree
That there’s not a whip in Surrey as can ’andle
’ounds like me;
For I knew
’em all from puppies, and I’d tell ’em without
fail—
If I seed a tail a-waggin’, I could tell who wagged the
tail.
And voices—why, Lor’ love you,
it’s more than I can ’elp,
It just comes kind of natural to know each whine an’
yelp;
You might take them twenty couple where you will and let
’em run,
An’ I’d listen by the coverside and name ’em
one by one.
I say it’s kind of natural, for since I
was a brat
I never cared for readin’ books, or fancy things like
that;
But give
me ’ounds and ’orses an’ I was quite
content,
An’ I loved to ear ’em talkin’ and to wonder
what they meant.
And when the ’ydrophoby came five year
ago next May,
When Nailer was be’avin’ in a most owdacious way,
I fixed ’im so’s ’e couldn’t bite, my
’ands on neck an’ back,
An’ I ’eaved ’im from the kennels, and they say
I saved the pack.
An’ when the Master ’eard of it,
’e up an’ says, says ’e,
‘If that chap were a soldier man, they’d give
’im the V.C.’
Which is
some kind a’ medal what they give to soldier men;
An’ Master said if I were such I would ’a’ got
it then.
Parson brought ’is Bible and come to read
to me;
‘’Ave what you like, there’s everythink within
this Book,’ says ’e.
Says I, ‘They’ve left the ’orses
out!’ Says ’e, ‘You are
mistook;’
An’ ’e up an’ read a ’eap of things about
them from the Book.
And some of it amazin’ fine; although
I’m fit to swear
No ’orse would ever say ‘Ah, ah!’ same as they
said it there.
Per’aps it was an ’Ebrew ’orse the
chap ’ad in his mind,
But I never ’eard an English ’orse say nothin’
of the kind.
Parson is a good ’un. I’ve
known ’im from a lad;
’Twas me as taught ’im ridin’, an’
’e rides uncommon bad;
And he says—But ’ark an’ listen!
There’s an ’orn! I ’eard it blow;
Pull the blind from off the winder! Prop me up, and
’old me so.
They’re drawin’ the black
’anger, just aside the Squire’s grounds.
’Ark and listen! ’Ark and listen!
There’s the yappin’ of the ’ounds:
There’s Fanny and Beltinker, and I ’ear old
Boxer call;
You see I wasn’t boastin’ when I said I knew
’em all.
Let me sit an’ ’old the
bedrail! Now I see ’em as they pass:
There’s Squire upon the Midland mare, a good ’un on
the grass;
But this is closish country, and you wants a clever
’orse
When ’alf the time you’re in the woods an’
’alf among the gorse.
’Ark to Jack
a’ollering—a-bleatin’ like a lamb.
You wouldn’t think it now, perhaps, to see the thing I
am;
But there
was a time the ladies used to linger at the meet
Just to ’ear me callin’ in the woods: my
callin’ was so sweet.
I see the crossroads corner, with the field
awaitin’ there,
There’s Purcell on ’is piebald ’orse, an’
Doctor on the mare,
And the Master on ’is iron grey; she isn’t much to
look,
But I seed ’er do clean twenty foot across the
’eathly brook.
There’s Captain Kane an’ McIntyre
an’ ’alf a dozen more,
And two or three are ’untin’ whom I never seed
afore;
Likely-lookin’ chaps they be, well groomed and
’orsed and dressed—
I wish they could ’a seen the pack when it was at its
best.
It’s a check, and they are drawin’
down the coppice for a scent,
You can see as they’ve been runnin’, for the
’orses they are spent;
I’ll lay the fox will break this way, downwind as sure as
fate,
An’ if he does you’ll see the field come
poundin’ through our gate.
But, Maggie, what’s that slinkin’
beside the cover?—See!
Now it’s in the clover field, and goin’ fast
an’ free,
It’s
’im, and they don’t see ’im. It’s
’im! ’Alloo! ’Alloo!
My broken wind won’t run to it—I’ll leave the
job to you.
There now I ’ear the music, and I know
they’re on his track;
Oh, watch ’em, Maggie, watch ’em! Ain’t
they just a lovely pack!
I’ve nursed ’em through distemper, an’
I’ve trained an’ broke ’em in,
An’ my ’eart it just goes out to them as if they was
my kin.
Well, all things ’as an endin’, as
I’ve ’eard the parson say,
The ’orse is cast, an’ the ’ound is past,
an’ the ’unter ’as ’is day;
But my day
was yesterday, so lay me down again.
You can draw the curtain, Maggie, right across the winder
pane.
MASTER
Master went a-hunting,
When the leaves were falling;
We saw him on the bridle path,
We heard him gaily calling.
‘Oh master, master, come you back,
For I have dreamed a dream so black!’
A glint of steel from bit and heel,
The chestnut cantered faster;
A red flash seen amid the green,
And so good-bye to master.
Master came from hunting,
Two silent comrades bore him;
His eyes were dim, his face was white,
The mare was led before him.
‘Oh,
master, master, is it thus
That you have come again to us?’
I held my lady’s ice-cold hand,
They bore the hurdle past her;
Why should they go so soft and slow?
It matters not to master.
H.M.S. ‘FOUDROYANT’
[Being an humble address to Her Majesty’s Naval advisers, who sold Nelson’s old flagship to the Germans for a thousand pounds.]
Who says the Nation’s purse is lean,
Who fears for claim or bond or debt,
When all the glories that have been
Are scheduled as a cash asset?
If times are black and trade is slack,
If coal and cotton fail at last,
We’ve something left to barter yet—
Our glorious past.
There’s many a crypt in which lies hid
The dust of statesman or of king;
There’s Shakespeare’s home to raise a bid,
And Milton’s house its price would bring.
What for
the sword that Cromwell drew?
What for Prince Edward’s coat of mail?
What for our Saxon Alfred’s tomb?
They’re all for sale!
And stone and marble may be sold
Which serve no present daily need;
There’s Edward’s Windsor, labelled old,
And Wolsey’s palace, guaranteed.
St. Clement Danes and fifty fanes,
The Tower and the Temple grounds;
How much for these? Just price them, please,
In British pounds.
You hucksters, have you still to learn,
The things which money will not buy?
Can you not read that, cold and stern
As we may be, there still does lie
Deep in
our hearts a hungry love
For what concerns our island story?
We sell our work—perchance our lives,
But not our glory.
Go barter to the knacker’s yard
The steed that has outlived its time!
Send hungry to the pauper ward
The man who served you in his prime!
But when you touch the Nation’s store,
Be broad your mind and tight your grip.
Take heed! And bring us back once more
Our Nelson’s ship.
And if no mooring can be found
In all our harbours near or far,
Then tow the old three-decker round
To where the deep-sea soundings are;
There,
with her pennon flying clear,
And with her ensign lashed peak high,
Sink her a thousand fathoms sheer.
There let her lie!
THE FARNSHIRE CUP
Christopher Davis was up upon Mavis
And Sammy MacGregor on Flo,
Jo Chauncy rode Spider, the rankest outsider,
But he’d make a wooden horse go.
There was Robin and Leah and Boadicea,
And Chesterfield’s Son of the Sea;
And Irish Nuneaton, who never was beaten,
They backed her at seven to three.
The course was the devil! A start on the
level,
And then a stiff breather uphill;
A bank at the top with a four-foot drop,
And a bullfinch down by the mill.
A stretch of straight from the Whittlesea gate,
Then up and down and up;
And the
mounts that stay through Farnshire clay
May bid for the Farnshire Cup.
The tipsters were touting, the bookies were
shouting
‘Bar one, bar one, bar one!’
With a glint and a glimmer of silken shimmer
The field shone bright in the sun,
When Farmer Brown came riding down:
‘I hain’t much time to spare,
But I’ve entered her name, so I’ll play out the
game,
On the back o’ my old gray mare.
‘You never would think ’er a
thoroughbred clinker,
There’s never a judge that would;
Each leg be’ind ’as a splint, you’ll find,
And the fore are none too good.
She roars
a bit, and she don’t look fit,
She’s moulted ’alf ’er
’air;
But—’ He smiled in a way that seemed to say,
That he knew that old gray mare.
And the bookies laughed and the bookies
chaffed,
‘Who backs the mare?’ cried they.
‘A hundred to one!’ ‘It’s
done—and done!’
‘We’ll take that price all
day.’
‘What if the mare is shedding hair!
What if her eye is wild!
We read her worth and her pedigree birth
In the smile that her owner smiled.’
And the whisper grew and the whisper flew
That she came of Isonomy stock.
‘Fifty to one!’ ‘It’s
done—and done!
Look at her haunch and hock!
Ill-groomed! Why yes, but one may guess
That that is her owner’s guile.’
Ah, Farmer Brown, the sharps from town,
Have read your simple smile!
They’ve weighed him in. ‘Now
lose or win,
I’ve money at stake this day;
Gee-long, my sweet, and if we’re beat,
We’ll both do all we may!’
He joins the rest, they line abreast,
‘Back Leah! Mavis up!’
The flag is dipped and the field is slipped,
Full split for the Farnshire Cup.
Christopher Davis is leading on Mavis,
Spider is waiting on Flo;
Boadicea is gaining on Leah,
Irish Nuneaton lies low;
Robin is
tailing, his wind has been failing,
Son of the Sea’s going fast:
So crack on the pace for it’s anyone’s race,
And the winner’s the horse that can last.
Chestnut and bay, and sorrel and gray,
See how they glimmer and gleam!
Bending and straining, and losing and gaining,
Silk jackets flutter and stream;
They are over the grass as the cloud shadows pass,
They are up to the fence at the top;
It’s ‘hey then!’ and over, and into the
clover,
There wasn’t one slip at the drop.
They are all going still; they are round by the
mill,
They are down by the Whittlesea gate;
Leah’s complaining, and Mavis is gaining,
And Flo’s catching up in the straight.
Robin’s gone wrong, but the Spider runs strong,
He sticks to the leader like wax;
An utter outsider, but look at his rider—
Jo Chauncy, the pick of the cracks!
Robin was tailing and pecked at a paling,
Leah’s gone weak in her feet;
Boadicea came down at the railing,
Son of the Sea is dead beat.
Leather to leather, they’re pounding together,
Three of them all in a row;
And Irish Nuneaton, who never was beaten,
Is level with Spider and Flo.
It’s into the straight from the
Whittlesea gate,
Clean galloping over the green,
But four foot high the hurdles lie
With a sunken ditch between.
’Tis
a bit of a test for a beast at its best,
And the devil and all at its worst;
But it’s clear run in with the Cup to win
For the horse that is over it first.
So try it, my beauties, and fly it, my
beauties,
Spider, Nuneaton, and Flo;
With a trip and a blunder there’s one of them under,
Hark to it crashing below!
Is it the brown or the sorrel that’s down?
The brown! It is Flo who is in!
And Spider with Chauncy, the pick of the fancy,
Is going full split for a win.
‘Spider is winning!’
‘Jo Chauncy is winning!’
‘He’s winning! He’s
winning! Bravo!’
The bookies are raving, the ladies are waving,
The Stand is all shouting for Jo.
The horse
is clean done, but the race may be won
By the Newmarket lad on his back;
For the fire of the rider may bring an outsider
Ahead of a thoroughbred crack.
‘Spider is winning!’
‘Jo Chauncy is winning!’
It swells like the roar of the sea;
But Jo hears the drumming of somebody coming,
And sees a lean head by his knee.
‘Nuneaton! Nuneaton! The Spider is
beaten!’
It is but a spurt at the most;
For lose it or win it, they have but a minute
Before they are up with the post.
Nuneaton is straining, Nuneaton is gaining,
Neither will falter nor flinch;
Whips they are plying and jackets are flying,
They’re fairly abreast to an inch.
‘Crack ’em up! Let ’em go!
Well ridden! Bravo!’
Gamer ones never were bred;
Jo Chauncy has done it! He’s spurted!
He’s won it!’
The favourite’s beat by a head!
Don’t tell me of luck, for its judgment
and pluck
And a courage that never will shirk;
To give your mind to it and know how to do it
And put all your heart in your work.
So here’s to the Spider, the winning outsider,
With little Jo Chauncy up;
May they stay life’s course, both jockey and horse,
As they stayed in the Farnshire Cup.
But it’s possible that you are wondering
what
May have happened to Farmer Brown,
And the
old gray crock of Isonomy stock
Who was backed by the sharps from town.
She blew and she sneezed, she coughed and she wheezed,
She ran till her knees gave way.
But never a grumble at trip or at stumble
Was heard from her jock that day.
For somebody laid against the gray,
And somebody made a pile;
And Brown says he can make farming pay,
And he smiles a simple smile.
‘Them sharps from town were riled,’ says Brown;
‘But I can’t see why—can you?
For I said quite fair as I knew that mare,
And I proved my words was true.’
THE GROOM’S STORY
Ten mile in twenty minutes! ’E done
it, sir. That’s true.
The big bay ’orse in the further stall—the one
wot’s next to you.
I’ve seen some better ’orses; I’ve seldom seen
a wuss,
But ’e ’olds the bloomin’ record, an’
that’s good enough for us.
We knew as it wa’s in ’im.
’E’s thoroughbred, three part,
We bought ’im for to race ’im, but we found ’e
’ad no ’eart;
For
’e was sad and thoughtful, and amazin’ dignified,
It seemed a kind o’ liberty to drive ’im or to
ride;
For ’e never seemed a-thinkin’ of
what ’e ’ad to do,
But ’is thoughts was set on ’igher things,
admirin’ of the view.
’E looked a puffeck pictur, and a pictur ’e would
stay,
’E wouldn’t even switch ’is tail to drive the
flies away.
And yet we knew ’twas in ’im, we
knew as ’e could fly;
But what we couldn’t git at was ’ow to make ’im
try.
We’d
almost turned the job up, until at last one day
We got the last yard out of ’im in a most amazin’
way.
It was all along o’ master; which master
’as the name
Of a reg’lar true blue sportman, an’ always acts the
same;
But we all ’as weaker moments, which master ’e
’ad one,
An’ ’e went and bought a motor-car when motor-cars
begun.
I seed it in the stable yard—it fairly
turned me sick—
A greasy, wheezy engine as can neither buck nor kick.
You’ve a screw to drive it forrard, and a screw to
make it stop,
For it was foaled in a smithy stove an’ bred in a
blacksmith shop.
It didn’t want no stable, it didn’t
ask no groom,
It didn’t need no nothin’ but a bit o’
standin’ room.
Just fill it up with paraffin an’ it would go all day,
Which the same should be agin the law if I could ’ave my
way.
Well, master took ’is motor-car,
an’ moted ’ere an’ there,
A frightenin’ the ’orses an’ a poisonin’
the air.
’E
wore a bloomin’ yachtin’ cap, but Lor’! wot
did ’e know,
Excep’ that if you turn a screw the thing would stop or
go?
An’ then one day it wouldn’t
go. ’E screwed and screwed again,
But somethin’ jammed, an’ there ’e stuck in the
mud of a country lane.
It ’urt ’is pride most cruel, but what was ’e
to do?
So at last ’e bade me fetch a ’orse to pull the motor
through.
This was the ’orse we fetched ’im;
an’ when we reached the car,
We braced ’im tight and proper to the middle of the bar,
And
buckled up ’is traces and lashed them to each side,
While ’e ’eld ’is ’ead so
’aughtily, an’ looked most dignified.
Not bad tempered, mind you, but kind of pained
and vexed,
And ’e seemed to say, ‘Well, bli’ me! wot
will they ask me next?
I’ve put up with some liberties, but this caps all by
far,
To be assistant engine to a crocky motor-car!’
Well, master ’e was in the car,
a-fiddlin’ with the gear,
And the ’orse was meditatin’, an’ I was
standin’ near,
When
master ’e touched somethin’—what it was
we’ll never know—
But it sort o’ spurred the boiler up and made the engine
go.
‘’Old ’ard, old gal!’
says master, and ‘Gently then!’ says I,
But an engine won’t ’eed coaxin’ an’ it
ain’t no use to try;
So first ’e pulled a lever, an’ then ’e turned
a screw,
But the thing kept crawlin’ forrard spite of all that
’e could do.
And first it went quite slowly and the
’orse went also slow,
But ’e ’ad to buck up faster when the wheels began to
go;
For the
car kept crowdin’ on ’im and buttin’ ’im
along,
And in less than ’alf a minute, sir, that ’orse was
goin’ strong.
At first ’e walked quite dignified,
an’ then ’e ’ad to trot,
And then ’e tried a canter when the pace became too
’ot.
’E looked ’is very ’aughtiest, as if ’e
didn’t ’e mind,
And all the time the motor-car was pushin’ ’im
be’ind.
Now, master lost ’is ’ead when
’e found ’e couldn’t stop,
And ’e pulled a valve or somethin’ an’
somethin’ else went pop,
An’
somethin’ else went fizzywiz, and in a flash, or less,
That blessed car was goin’ like a limited express.
Master ’eld the steerin’ gear,
an’ kept the road all right,
And away they whizzed and clattered—my aunt! it was a
sight.
’E seemed the finest draught ’orse as ever lived by
far,
For all the country Juggins thought ’twas ’im wot
pulled the car.
’E was stretchin’ like a
grey’ound, ’e was goin’ all ’e knew;
But it bumped an’ shoved be’ind ’im, for all
that ’e could do;
It butted
’im an’ boosted ’im an’ spanked ’im
on a’ead,
Till ’e broke the ten-mile record, same as I already
said.
Ten mile in twenty minutes! ’E done
it, sir. That’s true.
The only time we ever found what that ’ere ’orse
could do.
Some say it wasn’t ’ardly fair, and the papers made a
fuss,
But ’e broke the ten-mile record, and that’s good
enough for us.
You see that ’orse’s tail,
sir? You don’t! No more do we,
Which really ain’t surprisin’, for ’e ’as
no tail to see;
That
engine wore it off ’im before master made it stop,
And all the road was littered like a bloomin’
barber’s shop.
And master? Well, it cured
’im. ’E altered from that day,
And come back to ’is ’orses in the good old-fashioned
way.
And if you wants to git the sack, the quickest way by far
Is to ’int as ’ow you think ’e ought to keep a
motor-car.