SUBSECT. 1.—Cure of Love-Melancholy, by Labour, Diet, Physic, Fasting, &c.
Although it be controverted by some, whether love-melancholy may be cured,
because it is so irresistible and violent a passion; for as you know,
[5601]———facilis descensus Averni;
Sed revocare gradum, superasque evadere ad auras;
Hic labor, hoc opus est.———
It is an easy passage down to hell,
But to come back, once there, you cannot well.
Yet without question, if it be taken in time, it may be helped, and by many
good remedies amended. Avicenna,
lib. 3. Fen. cap. 23. et 24. sets
down seven compendious ways how this malady may be eased, altered, and
expelled. Savanarola 9. principal observations, Jason Pratensis prescribes
eight rules besides physic, how this passion may be tamed, Laurentius 2.
main precepts, Arnoldus, Valleriola, Montaltus, Hildesheim, Langius, and
others inform us otherwise, and yet all tending to, the same purpose. The
sum of which I will briefly epitomise, (for I light my candle from their
torches) and enlarge again upon occasion, as shall seem best to me, and
that after mine own method. The first rule to be observed in this stubborn
and unbridled passion, is exercise and diet. It is an old and well-known,
sentence,
Sine Cerere et Saccho friget Venus (love grows cool without
bread and wine). As an
[5602]idle sedentary life, liberal feeding, are
great causes of it, so the opposite, labour, slender and sparing diet, with
continual business, are the best and most ordinary means to prevent it.
Otio si tollas, periere Cupidinis artes,
Contemptaeque jacent, et sine luce faces.
Take idleness away, and put to flight
Are Cupid's arts, his torches give no light.
Minerva, Diana, Vesta, and the nine Muses were not enamoured at all,
because they never were idle.
[5603]Frustra blanditae appulistis ad has,
Frustra nequitiae venistis ad has,
Frustra delitiae obsidebitis has,
Frustra has illecebrae, et procacitates,
Et suspiria, et oscula, et susurri,
Et quisquis male sana corda amantum
Blandis ebria fascinat venenis.
In vain are all your flatteries,
In vain are all your knaveries,
Delights, deceits, procacities,
Sighs, kisses, and conspiracies,
And whate'er is done by art,
To bewitch a lover's heart.
'Tis in vain to set upon those that are busy. 'Tis Savanarola's third rule,
Occupari in multis et magnis negotiis, and Avicenna's precept,
cap. 24.
[5604]Cedit amor rebus; res, age tutus eris. To be busy still, and as
[5605]Guianerius enjoins, about matters of great moment, if it may be.
[5606]Magninus adds, “Never to be idle but at the hours of sleep.”
Poscas ante diem librum cum lumine, si non
Intendas animum studiis, et rebus honestis,
Invidia vel amore miser torquebere.———
For if thou dost not ply thy book,
By candlelight to study bent,
Employ'd about some honest thing,
Envy or love shall thee torment.
No better physic than to be always occupied, seriously intent.
[5608]Cur in penates rarius tenues subit,
Haec delicatas eligens pestis domus,
Mediumque sanos vulgus affectuss tenet? &c.
Why dost thou ask, poor folks are often free,
And dainty places still molested be?
Because poor people fare coarsely, work hard, go woolward and bare.
[5609]
Non habet unde suum paupertas pascat amorem.
[5610]Guianerius therefore
prescribes his patient “to go with hair-cloth next his skin, to go
barefooted, and barelegged in cold weather, to whip himself now and then,
as monks do, but above all to fast.” Not with sweet wine, mutton and
pottage, as many of those tender-bellies do, howsoever they put on Lenten
faces, and whatsoever they pretend, but from all manner of meat. Fasting is
an all-sufficient remedy of itself; for, as Jason Pratensis holds, the
bodies of such persons that feed liberally, and live at ease,
[5611]“are
full of bad spirits and devils, devilish thoughts; no better physic for
such parties, than to fast.” Hildesheim,
spicel. 2. to this of hunger,
adds,
[5612]“often baths, much exercise and sweat,” but hunger and fasting
he prescribes before the rest. And 'tis indeed our Saviour's oracle, “This
kind of devil is not cast out but by fasting and prayer,” which makes the
fathers so immoderate in commendation of fasting. As “hunger,” saith
[5613]
Ambrose, “is a friend of virginity, so is it an enemy to lasciviousness,
but fullness overthrows chastity, and fostereth all manner of provocations.”
If thine horse be too lusty, Hierome adviseth thee to take away some of his
provender; by this means those Pauls, Hilaries, Anthonies, and famous
anchorites, subdued the lusts of the flesh; by this means Hilarion “made
his ass, as he called his own body, leave kicking,” (so
[5614]Hierome
relates of him in his life) “when the devil tempted him to any such foul
offence.” By this means those
[5615]Indian Brahmins kept themselves
continent: they lay upon the ground covered with skins, as the red-shanks
do on heather, and dieted themselves sparingly on one dish, which
Guianerius would have all young men put in practice, and if that will not
serve,
[5616]Gordonius “would have them soundly whipped, or, to cool their
courage, kept in prison,” and there fed with bread and water till they
acknowledge their error, and become of another mind. If imprisonment and
hunger will not take them down, according to the directions of that
[5617]
Theban Crates, “time must wear it out; if time will not, the last refuge is
a halter.” But this, you will say, is comically spoken. Howsoever, fasting,
by all means, must be still used; and as they must refrain from such meats
formerly mentioned, which cause venery, or provoke lust, so they must use
an opposite diet.
[5618]Wine must be altogether avoided of the younger
sort. So
[5619]Plato prescribes, and would have the magistrates themselves
abstain from it, for example's sake, highly commending the Carthaginians
for their temperance in this kind. And 'twas a good edict, a commendable
thing, so that it were not done for some sinister respect, as those old
Egyptians abstained from wine, because some fabulous poets had given out,
wine sprang first from the blood of the giants, or out of superstition, as
our modern Turks, but for temperance, it being
animae virus et vitiorum
fomes, a plague itself, if immoderately taken. Women of old for that
cause,
[5620]in hot countries, were forbid the use of it; as severely
punished for drinking of wine as for adultery; and young folks, as Leonicus
hath recorded, Var.
hist. l. 3. cap. 87, 88. out of Athenaeus and others,
and is still practised in Italy, and some other countries of Europe and
Asia, as Claudius Minoes hath well illustrated in his Comment on the 23.
Emblem of Alciat. So choice is to be made of other diet.
Nec minus erucas aptum est vitare salaces,
Et quicquid veneri corpora nostra parat.
Eringos are not good for to be taken,
And all lascivious meats must be forsaken.
Those opposite meats which ought to be used are cucumbers, melons,
purslane, water-lilies, rue, woodbine, ammi, lettuce, which Lemnius so much
commends,
lib. 2, cap. 42. and Mizaldus
hort. med. to this purpose;
vitex, or agnus castus before the rest, which, saith
[5621]Magninus, hath
a wonderful virtue in it. Those Athenian women, in their solemn feasts
called Thesmopheries, were to abstain nine days from the company of men,
during which time, saith Aelian, they laid a certain herb, named hanea, in
their beds, which assuaged those ardent flames of love, and freed them from
the torments of that violent passion. See more in Porta, Matthiolus,
Crescentius
lib. 5. &c., and what every herbalist almost and physician
hath written,
cap. de Satyriasi et Priapismo; Rhasis amongst the rest. In
some cases again, if they be much dejected, and brought low in body, and
now ready to despair through anguish, grief, and too sensible a feeling of
their misery, a cup of wine and full diet is not amiss, and as Valescus
adviseth,
cum alia honesta venerem saepe exercendo, which Langius
epist.
med. lib. 1. epist. 24. approves out of Rhasis (
ad assiduationem coitus
invitat] and Guianerius seconds it,
cap. 16. tract. 16. as a
[5622]
very profitable remedy.
[5623]———tument tibi quum inguina, cum si
Ancilla, aut verna praesto est, tentigine rumpi
Malis? non ego namque, &c.———
[5624]Jason Pratensis subscribes to this counsel of the poet,
Excretio
enim aut tollet prorsus aut lenit aegritudinem. As it did the raging lust
of Ahasuerus,
[5625]qui ad impatientiam amoris leniendam, per singulas
fere noctes novas puellas devirginavit. And to be drunk too by fits; but
this is mad physic, if it be at all to be permitted. If not, yet some
pleasure is to be allowed, as that which Vives speaks of,
lib. 3. de
anima.,
[5626]“A lover that hath as it were lost himself through
impotency, impatience, must be called home as a traveller, by music,
feasting, good wine, if need be to drunkenness itself, which many so much
commend for the easing of the mind, all kinds of sports and merriments, to
see fair pictures, hangings, buildings, pleasant fields, orchards, gardens,
groves, ponds, pools, rivers, fishing, fowling, hawking, hunting, to hear
merry tales, and pleasant discourse, reading, to use exercise till he
sweat, that new spirits may succeed, or by some vehement affection or
contrary passion to be diverted till he be fully weaned from anger,
suspicion, cares, fears, &c., and habituated into another course.”
Semper
tecum sit, (as
[5627]Sempronius adviseth Calisto his lovesick master)
qui sermones joculares moveat, conciones ridiculas, dicteria falsa, suaves
historias, fabulas venustas recenseat, coram ludat, &c., still have a
pleasant companion to sing and tell merry tales, songs and facete
histories, sweet discourse, &c. And as the melody of music, merriment,
singing, dancing, doth augment the passion of some lovers, as
[5628]
Avicenna notes, so it expelleth it in others, and doth very much good.
These things must be warily applied, as the parties' symptoms vary, and as
they shall stand variously affected.
If there be any need of physic, that the humours be altered, or any new
matter aggregated, they must be cured as melancholy men. Carolus a Lorme,
amongst other questions discussed for his degree at Montpelier in France,
hath this, An amantes et amantes iisdem remediis curentur? Whether lovers
and madmen be cured by the same remedies? he affirms it; for love extended
is mere madness. Such physic then as is prescribed, is either inward or
outward, as hath been formerly handled in the precedent partition in the
cure of melancholy. Consult with Valleriola observat. lib. 2. observ.
7. Lod. Mercatus lib. 2. cap. 4. de mulier. affect. Daniel Sennertus
lib. 1. part. 2. cap. 10. [5629]Jacobus Ferrandus the Frenchman, in
his Tract de amore Erotique, Forestus lib. 10. observ. 29 and 30,
Jason Pratensis and others for peculiar receipts. [5630]Amatus Lusitanus
cured a young Jew, that was almost mad for love, with the syrup of
hellebore, and such other evacuations and purges which are usually
prescribed to black choler: [5631]Avicenna confirms as much if need
require, and [5632]“bloodletting above the rest,” which makes amantes ne
sint amentes, lovers to come to themselves, and keep in their right minds.
'Tis the same which Schola Salernitana, Jason Pratensis, Hildesheim, &c.,
prescribe bloodletting to be used as a principal remedy. Those old
Scythians had a trick to cure all appetite of burning lust, by [5633]
letting themselves blood under the ears, and to make both men and women
barren, as Sabellicus in his Aeneades relates of them. Which Salmuth. Tit.
10. de Herol. comment. in Pancirol. de nov. report. Mercurialis, var.
lec. lib. 3. cap. 7. out of Hippocrates and Benzo say still is in use
amongst the Indians, a reason of which Langius gives lib. 1. epist. 10.
Huc faciunt medicamenta venerem sopientia, “ut camphora pudendis alligata,
et in bracha gestata” (quidam ait) “membrum flaccidum reddit. Laboravit hoc
morbo virgo nobilis, cui inter caetera praescripsit medicus, ut laminam
plumbeam multis foraminibus pertusam ad dies viginti portaret in dorso; ad
exiccandum vero sperma jussit eam quam parcissime cibari, et manducare
frequentur coriandrum praeparatum, et semen lactucae, et acetosae, et sic eam
a morbo liberavit”. Porro impediunt et remittunt coitum folia salicis trita
et epota, et si frequentius usurpentur ipsa in totum auferunt. Idem praestat
Topatius annulo gestatus, dexterum lupi testiculum attritum, et oleo vel
aqua rosata exhibitum veneris taedium inducere scribit Alexander Benedictus:
lac butyri commestum et semen canabis, et camphora exhibita idem praestant.
Verbena herba gestata libidinem extinguit, pulvisquae ranae decollatae et
exiccatae. Ad extinguendum coitum, ungantur membra genitalia, et renes et
pecten aqua in qua opium Thebaicum sit dissolutum; libidini maxime
contraria camphora est, et coriandrum siccum frangit coitum, et erectionem
virgae impedit; idem efficit synapium ebibitum. “Da verbenam in potu et non
erigetur virga sex diebus; utere mentha sicca cum aceto, genitalia illinita
succo hyoscyami aid cicutae, coitus appelitum sedant, &c. ℞. seminis
lactuc. portulac. coriandri an. ℨj. menthae siccae ℨß.
sacchari albiss. ℥iiij. pulveriscentur omnia subtiliter, et post ea
simul misce aqua neunpharis, f. confec. solida in morsulis. Ex his sumat
mane unum quum surgat”. Innumera fere his similia petas ab Hildeshemo loco
praedicto, Mizaldo, Porta, caeterisque.
SUBSECT. II.—Withstand the beginnings, avoid occasions, change his place: fair and foul means, contrary passions, with witty inventions: to bring in another, and discommend the former.
Other good rules and precepts are enjoined by our physicians, which, if not
alone, yet certainly conjoined, may do much; the first of which is obstare
principiis, to withstand the beginning,[5634]Quisquis in primo obstitit,
Pepulitque amorem tutus ac victor fuit, he that will but resist at first,
may easily be a conqueror at the last. Balthazar Castilio, l. 4. urgeth
this prescript above the rest, [5635]“when he shall chance” (saith he) “to
light upon a woman that hath good behaviour joined with her excellent
person, and shall perceive his eyes with a kind of greediness to pull unto
them this image of beauty, and carry it to the heart: shall observe himself
to be somewhat incensed with this influence, which moveth within: when he
shall discern those subtle spirits sparkling in her eyes, to administer
more fuel to the fire, he must wisely withstand the beginnings, rouse up
reason, stupefied almost, fortify his heart by all means, and shut up all
those passages, by which it may have entrance.” 'Tis a precept which all
concur upon,
[5636]Opprime dum nova sunt subiti mala semina morbi,
Dum licet, in primo lumine siste pedem.
Thy quick disease, whilst it is fresh today,
By all means crush, thy feet at first step stay.
Which cannot speedier be done, than if he confess his grief and passion to
some judicious friend
[5637](
qui tacitus ardet magis uritur, the more he
conceals, the greater is his pain) that by his good advice may happily ease
him on a sudden; and withal to avoid occasions, or any circumstance that
may aggravate his disease, to remove the object by all means; for who can
stand by a fire and not burn?
[5638]Sussilite obsecro et mittite istanc foras,
quae misero mihi amanti ebibit sanguinem.
'Tis good therefore to keep quite out of her company, which Hierom so much
labours to Paula, to Nepotian; Chrysost. so much inculcates in
ser. in
contubern. Cyprian, and many other fathers of the church, Siracides in his
ninth chapter, Jason Pratensis, Savanarola, Arnoldus, Valleriola, &c., and
every physician that treats of this subject. Not only to avoid, as
[5639]
Gregory Tholosanus exhorts, “kissing, dalliance, all speeches, tokens,
love-letters, and the like,” or as Castilio,
lib. 4. to converse with
them, hear them speak, or sing, (
tolerabilius est audire basiliscum
sibilantem, thou hadst better hear, saith
[5640]Cyprian, a serpent hiss)
[5641]“those amiable smiles, admirable graces, and sweet gestures,” which
their presence affords.
[5642]Neu capita liment solitis morsiunculis,
Et his papillarum oppressiunculis
Abstineant:———
but all talk, name, mention, or cogitation of them, and of any other women,
persons, circumstance, amorous book or tale that may administer any
occasion of remembrance.
[5643]Prosper adviseth young men not to read the
Canticles, and some parts of Genesis at other times; but for such as are
enamoured they forbid, as before, the name mentioned, &c., especially all
sight, they must not so much as come near, or look upon them.
[5644]Et fugitare decet simulacra et pabula amoris,
Abstinere sibi atque alio convertere mentem.
“Gaze not on a maid,” saith Siracides, “turn away thine eyes from a
beautiful woman,”
c. 9. v. 5. 7, 8. averte oculos, saith David, or if thou
dost see them, as Ficinus adviseth, let not thine eye be
intentus ad
libidinem, do not intend her more than the rest: for as
[5645]Propertius
holds,
Ipse alimenta sibi maxima praebet amor, love as a snow ball
enlargeth itself by sight: but as Hierome to Nepotian,
aut aequaliter ama,
aut aequaliter ignora, either see all alike, or let all alone; make a
league with thine eyes, as
[5646]Job did, and that is the safest course,
let all alone, see none of them. Nothing sooner revives,
[5647]“or waxeth
sore again,” as Petrarch holds, “than love doth by sight.” “As pomp renews
ambition; the sight of gold, covetousness; a beauteous object sets on fire
this burning lust.”
Et multum saliens incitat unda sitim. The sight of
drink makes one dry, and the sight of meat increaseth appetite. 'Tis
dangerous therefore to see. A
[5648]young gentleman in merriment would
needs put on his mistress's clothes, and walk abroad alone, which some of
her suitors espying, stole him away for her that he represented. So much
can sight enforce. Especially if he have been formerly enamoured, the sight
of his mistress strikes him into a new fit, and makes him rave many days
after.
[5649]———Infirmis causa pusilla nocet,
Ut pene extinctum cinerem si sulphure tangas,
Vivet, et ex minimo maximus ignis erit:
Sic nisi vitabis quicquid renovabit amorem,
Flamma recrudescet, quae modo nulla fuit.
A sickly man a little thing offends,
As brimstone doth a fire decayed renew,
And makes it burn afresh, doth love's dead flames,
If that the former object it review.
Or, as the poet compares it to embers in ashes, which the wind blows,
[5650]ut solet a ventis, &c., a scald head (as the saying is) is soon
broken, dry wood quickly kindles, and when they have been formerly wounded
with sight, how can they by seeing but be inflamed? Ismenias acknowledged
as much of himself, when he had been long absent, and almost forgotten his
mistress,
[5651]“at the first sight of her, as straw in a fire, I burned
afresh, and more than ever I did before.”
[5652]“Chariclia was as much
moved at the sight of her dear Theagines, after he had been a great
stranger.”
[5653]Mertila, in Aristaenetus, swore she would never love
Pamphilus again, and did moderate her passion, so long as he was absent;
but the next time he came in presence, she could not contain,
effuse
amplexa attrectari se sinit, &c., she broke her vow, and did profusely
embrace him. Hermotinus, a young man (in the said
[5654]author) is all out
as unstaid, he had forgot his mistress quite, and by his friends was well
weaned from her love; but seeing her by chance,
agnovit veteris vestigia
flammae, he raved amain,
Illa tamen emergens veluti lucida stella cepit
elucere, &c., she did appear as a blazing star, or an angel to his sight.
And it is the common passion of all lovers to be overcome in this sort. For
that cause belike Alexander discerning this inconvenience and danger that
comes by seeing,
[5655]“when he heard Darius's wife so much commended for
her beauty, would scarce admit her to come in his sight,” foreknowing
belike that of Plutarch,
formosam videre periculosissimum, how full of
danger it is to see a proper woman, and though he was intemperate in other
things, yet in this
superbe se gessit, he carried himself bravely. And so
when as Araspus, in Xenophon, had so much magnified that divine face of
Panthea to Cyrus,
[5656]“by how much she was fairer than ordinary, by so
much he was the more unwilling to see her.” Scipio, a young man of
twenty-three years of age, and the most beautiful of the Romans, equal in
person to that Grecian Charinus, or Homer's Nireus, at the siege of a city
in Spain, when as a noble and most fair young gentlewoman was brought unto
him,
[5657]“and he had heard she was betrothed to a lord, rewarded her,
and sent her back to her sweetheart.” St. Austin, as
[5658]Gregory reports
of him,
ne cum sorore quidem sua putavit habitandum, would not live in
the house with his own sister. Xenocrates lay with Lais of Corinth all
night, and would not touch her. Socrates, though all the city of Athens
supposed him to dote upon fair Alcibiades, yet when he had an opportunity,
[5659]solus cum solo to lie in the chamber with, and was wooed by him
besides, as the said Alcibiades publicly
[5660]confessed,
formam sprevit
et superbe contempsit, he scornfully rejected him. Petrarch, that had so
magnified his Laura in several poems, when by the pope's means she was
offered unto him, would not accept of her.
[5661]“It is a good happiness
to be free from this passion of love, and great discretion it argues in
such a man that he can so contain himself; but when thou art once in love,
to moderate thyself (as he saith) is a singular point of wisdom.”
[5662]Nam vitare plagas in amoris ne jaciamur
Non ita difficile est, quam captum retibus ipsis
Exire, et validos Veneris perrumpere nodos.
To avoid such nets is no such mastery,
But ta'en escape is all the victory.
But, forasmuch as few men are free, so discreet lovers, or that can contain
themselves, and moderate their passions, to curb their senses, as not to
see them, not to look lasciviously, not to confer with them, such is the
fury of this headstrong passion of raging lust, and their weakness, ferox
ille ardor a natura insitus, [5663]as he terms it “such a furious desire
nature hath inscribed, such unspeakable delight.”
Sic Divae Veneris furor,
Insanis adeo mentibus incubat,
which neither reason, counsel, poverty, pain, misery, drudgery,
partus
dolor, &c., can deter them from; we must use some speedy means to correct
and prevent that, and all other inconveniences, which come by conference
and the like. The best, readiest, surest way, and which all approve, is
Loci mutatio, to send them several ways, that they may neither hear of,
see, nor have an opportunity to send to one another again, or live
together,
soli cum sola, as so many Gilbertines.
Elongatio a patria,
'tis Savanarola's fourth rule, and Gordonius' precept,
distrahatur ad
longinquas regiones, send him to travel. 'Tis that which most run upon, as
so many hounds, with full cry, poets, divines, philosophers, physicians,
all,
mutet patriam: Valesius:
[5664]as a sick man he must be cured with
change of air, Tully
4 Tuscul. The best remedy is to get thee gone, Jason
Pratensis: change air and soil, Laurentius.
[5665]Fuge littus amatum.
Virg. Utile finitimis abstinuisse locis.
[5666]Ovid. I procul, et longas carpere perge vias.
———sed fuge tutus eris.
Travelling is an antidote of love,
[5667]Magnum iter ad doctas proficisci cogor Athenas,
Ut me longa gravi solvat amore via.
For this purpose, saith
[5668]Propertius, my parents sent me to Athens;
time and patience wear away pain and grief, as fire goes out for want of
fuel.
Quantum oculis, animo tam procul ibit amor. But so as they tarry
out long enough: a whole year
[5669]Xenophon prescribes
Critobulus, vix
enim intra hoc tempus ab amore sanari poteris: some will hardly be weaned
under. All this
[5670]Heinsius merrily inculcates in an epistle to his
friend Primierus; first fast, then tarry, thirdly, change thy place,
fourthly, think of a halter. If change of place, continuance of time,
absence, will not wear it out with those precedent remedies, it will hardly
be removed: but these commonly are of force. Felix Plater,
observ. lib.
1. had a baker to his patient, almost mad for the love of his maid, and
desperate; by removing her from him, he was in a short space cured. Isaeus,
a philosopher of Assyria, was a most dissolute liver in his youth,
palam
lasciviens, in love with all he met; but after he betook himself, by his
friends' advice, to his study, and left women's company, he was so changed
that he cared no more for plays, nor feasts, nor masks, nor songs, nor
verses, fine clothes, nor no such love toys: he became a new man upon a
sudden,
tanquam si priores oculos amisisset, (saith mine
[5671]author)
as if he had lost his former eyes. Peter Godefridus, in the last chapter of
his third book, hath a story out of St. Ambrose, of a young man that
meeting his old love after long absence, on whom he had extremely doted,
would scarce take notice of her; she wondered at it, that he should so
lightly esteem her, called him again,
lenibat dictis animum, and told him
who she was,
Ego sum, inquit: At ego non sum ego; but he replied, “he was
not the same man:”
proripuit sese tandem, as
[5672]Aeneas fled from Dido,
not vouchsafing her any farther parley, loathing his folly, and ashamed of
that which formerly he had done.
[5673]Non sum stultus ut ante jam
Neaera. “O Neaera, put your tricks, and practise hereafter upon somebody
else, you shall befool me no longer.” Petrarch hath such another tale of a
young gallant, that loved a wench with one eye, and for that cause by his
parents was sent to travel into far countries, “after some years he
returned, and meeting the maid for whose sake he was sent abroad, asked her
how, and by what chance she lost her eye? no, said she, I have lost none,
but you have found yours:” signifying thereby, that all lovers were blind,
as Fabius saith,
Amantes de forma judicare non possunt, lovers cannot
judge of beauty, nor scarce of anything else, as they will easily confess
after they return unto themselves, by some discontinuance or better advice,
wonder at their own folly, madness, stupidity, blindness, be much abashed,
“and laugh at love, and call it an idle thing, condemn themselves that ever
they should be so besotted or misled: and be heartily glad they have so
happily escaped.”
If so be (which is seldom) that change of place will not effect this
alteration, then other remedies are to be annexed, fair and foul means, as
to persuade, promise, threaten, terrify, or to divert by some contrary
passion, rumour, tales, news, or some witty invention to alter his
affection, [5674]“by some greater sorrow to drive out the less,” saith
Gordonius, as that his house is on fire, his best friends dead, his money
stolen. [5675]“That he is made some great governor, or hath some honour,
office, some inheritance is befallen him.” He shall be a knight, a baron;
or by some false accusation, as they do to such as have the hiccup, to make
them forget it. St. Hierome, lib. 2. epist. 16. to Rusticus the monk,
hath an instance of a young man of Greece, that lived in a monastery in
Egypt, [5676]“that by no labour, no continence, no persuasion, could be
diverted, but at last by this trick he was delivered. The abbot sets one of
his convent to quarrel with him, and with some scandalous reproach or other
to defame him before company, and then to come and complain first, the
witnesses were likewise suborned for the plaintiff. The young man wept, and
when all were against him, the abbot cunningly took his part, lest he
should be overcome with immoderate grief: but what need many words? by this
invention he was cured, and alienated from his pristine
love-thoughts”—Injuries, slanders, contempts, disgraces—spretaeque
injuria formae, “the insult of her slighted beauty,” are very forcible
means to withdraw men's affections, contumelia affecti amatores amare
desinunt, as [5677]Lucian saith, lovers reviled or neglected, contemned
or misused, turn love to hate; [5678]redeam? Non si me obsecret, “I'll
never love thee more.” Egone illam, quae illum, quae me, quae non? So
Zephyrus hated Hyacinthus because he scorned him, and preferred his
co-rival Apollo (Palephaetus fab. Nar.), he will not come again though he
be invited. Tell him but how he was scoffed at behind his back, ('tis the
counsel of Avicenna), that his love is false, and entertains another,
rejects him, cares not for him, or that she is a fool; a nasty quean, a
slut, a vixen, a scold, a devil, or, which Italians commonly do, that he or
she hath some loathsome filthy disease, gout, stone, strangury, falling
sickness, and that they are hereditary, not to be avoided, he is subject to
a consumption, hath the pox, that he hath three or four incurable tetters,
issues; that she is bald, her breath stinks, she is mad by inheritance, and
so are all the kindred, a hair-brain, with many other secret infirmities,
which I will not so much as name, belonging to women. That he is a
hermaphrodite, an eunuch, imperfect, impotent, a spendthrift, a gamester, a
fool, a gull, a beggar, a whoremaster, far in debt, and not able to
maintain her, a common drunkard, his mother was a witch, his father hanged,
that he hath a wolf in his bosom, a sore leg, he is a leper, hath some
incurable disease, that he will surely beat her, he cannot hold his water,
that he cries out or walks in the night, will stab his bedfellow, tell all
his secrets in his sleep, and that nobody dare lie with him, his house is
haunted with spirits, with such fearful and tragical things, able to avert
and terrify any man or woman living, Gordonius, cap. 20. part. 2. hunc in
modo consulit; Paretur aliqua vetula turpissima aspectu, cum turpi et vili
habitu: et portet subtus gremium pannum menstrualem, et dicat quod amica
sua sit ebriosa, et quod mingat in lecto, et quod est epileptica et
impudicia; et quod in corpore suo sunt excrescentiae enormes, cum faetore
anhelitus, et aliae enormitates, quibus vetulae sunt edoctae: si nolit his
persuaderi, subito extrahat [5679]pannum menstrualem, coram facie
portando, exclamando, talis est amica tua; et si ex his non demiserit, non
est homo, sed diabolus incarnatus. Idem fere, Avicenna, cap. 24, de
cura Elishi, lib. 3, Fen. 1. Tract. 4. Narrent res immundas vetulae, ex
quibus abominationem incurrat, et res [5680]sordidas et, hoc assiduent.
Idem Arculanus cap. 16. in 9. Rhasis, &c.
Withal as they do discommend the old, for the better effecting a more
speedy alteration, they must commend another paramour, alteram inducere,
set him or her to be wooed, or woo some other that shall be fairer, of
better note, better fortune, birth, parentage, much to be preferred, [5681]
Invenies alium si te hic fastidit Alexis, by this means, which Jason
Pratensis wisheth, to turn the stream of affection another way,
Successore novo truditur omnis amor; or, as Valesius adviseth, by
[5682]subdividing to diminish it, as a great river cut into many channels
runs low at last. [5683]Hortor et ut pariter binas habeatis amicas,
&c. If you suspect to be taken, be sure, saith the poet, to have two
mistresses at once, or go from one to another: as he that goes from a good
fire in cold weather is both to depart from it, though in the next room
there be a better which will refresh him as much; there's as much
difference of haec as hac ignis; or bring him to some public shows,
plays, meetings, where he may see variety, and he shall likely loathe his
first choice: carry him but to the next town, yea peradventure to the next
house, and as Paris lost Oenone's love by seeing Helen, and Cressida
forsook Troilus by conversing with Diomede, he will dislike his former
mistress, and leave her quite behind him, as [5684]Theseus left Ariadne
fast asleep in the island of Dia, to seek her fortune, that was erst his
loving mistress. [5685]Nunc primum Dorida vetus amator contempsi, as he
said, Doris is but a dowdy to this. As he that looks himself in a glass
forgets his physiognomy forthwith, this flattering glass of love will be
diminished by remove; after a little absence it will be remitted, the next
fair object will likely alter it. A young man in [5686]Lucian was
pitifully in love, he came to the theatre by chance, and by seeing other
fair objects there, mentis sanitatem recepit, was fully recovered, [5687]
“and went merrily home, as if he had taken a dram of oblivion.” [5688]A
mouse (saith an apologer) was brought up in a chest, there fed with
fragments of bread and cheese, though there could be no better meat, till
coming forth at last, and feeding liberally of other variety of viands,
loathed his former life: moralise this fable by thyself. Plato, in. his
seventh book De Legibus, hath a pretty fiction of a city under ground,
[5689]to which by little holes some small store of light came; the
inhabitants thought there could not be a better place, and at their first
coming abroad they might not endure the light, aegerrime solem intueri;
but after they were accustomed a little to it, [5690]“they deplored their
fellows' misery that lived under ground.” A silly lover is in like state,
none so fair as his mistress at first, he cares for none but her; yet after
a while, when he hath compared her with others, he abhors her name, sight,
and memory. 'Tis generally true; for as he observes, [5691]Priorem
flammam novus ignis extrudit; et ea multorum natura, ut praesentes maxime
ament, one fire drives out another; and such is women's weakness, that
they love commonly him that is present. And so do many men; as he
confessed, he loved Amye, till he saw Florial, and when he saw Cynthia,
forgat them both: but fair Phillis was incomparably beyond, them all,
Cloris surpassed her, and yet when he espied Amaryllis, she was his sole
mistress; O divine Amaryllis: quam procera, cupressi ad instar, quam
elegans, quam decens, &c. How lovely, how tall, how comely she was (saith
Polemius) till he saw another, and then she was the sole subject of his
thoughts. In conclusion, her he loves best he saw last. [5692]Triton, the
sea-god, first loved Leucothoe, till he came in presence of Milaene, she was
the commandress of his heart, till he saw Galatea: but (as [5693]she
complains) he loved another eftsoons, another, and another. 'Tis a thing
which, by Hierom's report, hath been usually practised. [5694]“Heathen
philosophers drive out one love with another, as they do a peg, or pin with
a pin. Which those seven Persian princes did to Ahasuerus, that they might
requite the desire of Queen Vashti with the love of others.” Pausanias in
Eliacis saith, that therefore one Cupid was painted to contend with
another, and to take the garland from him, because one love drives out
another, [5695]Alterius vires subtrahit alter amor; and Tully, 3.
Nat. Deor. disputing with C. Cotta, makes mention of three several Cupids,
all differing in office. Felix Plater, in the first book of his
observations, boasts how he cured a widower in Basil, a patient of his, by
this stratagem alone, that doted upon a poor servant his maid, when
friends, children, no persuasion could serve to alienate his mind: they
motioned him to another honest man's daughter in the town, whom he loved,
and lived with long after, abhorring the very name and sight of the first.
After the death of Lucretia, [5696]Euryalus would admit of no comfort,
till the Emperor Sigismund married him to a noble lady of his court, and so
in short space he was freed.