A lighthearted survey traces the customs, meanings, and lore of kissing from ancient times through later European practice. It compiles classical, biblical, and ecclesiastical accounts to show how kisses functioned as greeting, adoration, reconciliation, valediction, and even treachery in sacred and social settings. The text draws on poets, travelers, and moralists for vivid and satirical depictions, and reports ecclesiastical rules and popular reactions to widespread salutation customs. Short definitions and comic sketches are paired with a playful grammar of kissing and a concise scientific note on why kisses are pleasant, producing a mixed historical, humorous, and poetic consideration of the gesture.