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The Bashful Earthquake, & Other Fables and Verses

Chapter 47: THE REFORMED TIGRESS.
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About This Book

A compact collection of witty fables and light verses that personify animals, objects, and natural forces to produce playful moral and comic observations. The poems and short narratives range from brief epigrams to longer rhymed pieces, employing jaunty rhyme, absurd situations, and ironic twists to gently satirize human foibles and social pretensions. Illustrations accompany many pieces, reinforcing the whimsical tone and eccentric details while the overall mood alternates between sly humor, mild sentiment, and clever wordplay.

THE REFORMED TIGRESS.

A lady on the lonely shore

Of a dull watering place

Once met a Tigress weeping sore,

Tears streaming down her face.

And knowing well that safety lay

In not betraying fear,

She asked in quite a friendly way,

“What makes you weep, my dear?”

The Tigress brushed a tear aside;

“I want a man!” she wailed.

“A man! they’re scarce!” the lady cried;

“I fear the crop has failed!

There is but one in miles, and oh,

I fear that he is wed!”

The Tigress smiled. “I am, you know,

A man eater,” she said.

“You eat them!” cried the maid, then ceased

In horror and amaze,

Then sat her down to show the beast

The error of her ways.

“Men are so scarce,” she urged, “I fear

There are n’t enough to go

Around—now is it right, my dear,

That you should waste them so?

I weep to think of all the men

You’ve spoiled ere now,” said she.

“And if you eat the rest, why, then

What will be left for me?”

The hours flew by; she took no rest

Till twilight, when at last

The contrite beast with sobs confessed

Repentance for the past.

“Go,” said the maid, “take my advice;

I know what’s best for you;

It’s cheap and filling at the price;

Go seek the oyster stew!”

The Tigress lies unto this day

Upon an oyster bed.

The Lady—so the gossips say—

Is shortly to be wed.