They mean such a wonderful lot to me,
It's quite absurd how my soul is smitten
With Padie, who's four, and Bay, who's three,
And Sufi, a Persian kitten!
It's quite absurd how my soul is smitten
With Padie, who's four, and Bay, who's three,
And Sufi, a Persian kitten!
So mother must worry, and father must fuss,
But I'll fake these songs to a sadder version
When manhood steals the boys from us,
And the Bottle-o pinches the Persian!
But I'll fake these songs to a sadder version
When manhood steals the boys from us,
And the Bottle-o pinches the Persian!
WHISPER!
Hush, you, hush! I heard a patter
On the 'randah, in the wet!
Now 'n again, we've heard him chatter,
But we've never seen him yet.
Hush, you, hush! I heard a patter
On the 'randah, in the wet!
Now 'n again, we've heard him chatter,
But we've never seen him yet.
SUNDAY DINNER
The butcher comed and he bringed no meat,
But he crawled in the poultry pen,
And he putted his hand among they feet,
And catched the father hen.
But he crawled in the poultry pen,
And he putted his hand among they feet,
And catched the father hen.
He catched it as hard as anything,
But it didn't once crowed at all,
And he tied its feet with a bundle of string
And hanged it up on the wall.
But it didn't once crowed at all,
And he tied its feet with a bundle of string
And hanged it up on the wall.
And now and again its wings went flap,
But that didn't frighten me!
I runned for my little brother chap
To come outside and see.
But that didn't frighten me!
I runned for my little brother chap
To come outside and see.
The father hen's not crowing now,
The ittooest ittoo bit;
We're going to tell our father how
The butcher's hurted it!
The ittooest ittoo bit;
We're going to tell our father how
The butcher's hurted it!
Our father has mended the bathroom door
And the leg of the rocking chair:
He mended the fence long time before,
And he bought my horse some hair.
And the leg of the rocking chair:
He mended the fence long time before,
And he bought my horse some hair.
He made the bikes so they wouldn't squeal,
And he made the bunny to talk;
He hammered some tacks in the engine wheel
When the engine couldn't walk.
And he made the bunny to talk;
He hammered some tacks in the engine wheel
When the engine couldn't walk.
And he cured the teddy when it was dead,
And he mended the barrow for me—
So father will mend the rooster's head
Before he haves his tea.
And he mended the barrow for me—
So father will mend the rooster's head
Before he haves his tea.
WHISPER!
Tip-toe, tip-toe, through the house,
'Round the pantry, down the hall.
P'raps he's only just a mouse;
P'raps he's nuffing real at all.
Tip-toe, tip-toe, through the house,
'Round the pantry, down the hall.
P'raps he's only just a mouse;
P'raps he's nuffing real at all.
THE CONCERT IN THE GARDEN
The wheelbarrow wept to the willows
And Padie called out for a hymn:
He dabbled his boots on the pillows
And the minister looked quite grim.
And Padie called out for a hymn:
He dabbled his boots on the pillows
And the minister looked quite grim.
While the Emu turned the pages
The Wallaby sang with zest,
Of the error in uncle's wages
While the chairs all turned to the West.
The Wallaby sang with zest,
Of the error in uncle's wages
While the chairs all turned to the West.
The Baker paused with a frigid stare
And his heels apart, of course;
And the shell-back sprang from his sunny lair
With his hand upon his horse.
And his heels apart, of course;
And the shell-back sprang from his sunny lair
With his hand upon his horse.
The rooster's grandma nursed the cat,
Which uttered nor purr nor sound,
While the Platypus followed the Minister's hat
Around and round and round.
Which uttered nor purr nor sound,
While the Platypus followed the Minister's hat
Around and round and round.
WHISPER!!!
Sit up in your beds and hark!
Something said "meow" in the dark!
Was it a gentleman saying some prayers?
Was it a mousie trapped under the stairs?
Was it a manager stealing some shares
Or a newspaper having a lark?
Sit up in your beds and hark!
Something said "meow" in the dark!
Would you your treasures securely keep,
Never turn lamps out and never go sleep.
Something said "meow" in the dark!
Was it a gentleman saying some prayers?
Was it a mousie trapped under the stairs?
Was it a manager stealing some shares
Or a newspaper having a lark?
Sit up in your beds and hark!
Something said "meow" in the dark!
Would you your treasures securely keep,
Never turn lamps out and never go sleep.
WHISPER!
Hush, you! Hush! I think I hear
Just a little noise of humming!
If you see him waiting near
Please don't whisper him we're coming!
Hush, you! Hush! I think I hear
Just a little noise of humming!
If you see him waiting near
Please don't whisper him we're coming!
THE COMING OF BAY
Bay doesn't stay in the stars any more;
He didn't much cry nor care
When God pushed him out of a big star door
Into the everywhere.
He didn't much cry nor care
When God pushed him out of a big star door
Into the everywhere.
I ringed him up on the telephome
And down he flied to me!
Didn't you know how Bay came home?
I got the push-cart, see?
And wheeled him in the front-yard door
Just one way and another,
I didn't make mud-marks on the floor,
Or scratch the paint on the front-way door,
'Cos I am a careful brother;
I putted him into the new white cot,
I covered him up till he grew quite hot,
And then called mother to see;
So Bay doesn't stay in the stars any more
But only with mother and me.
And down he flied to me!
Didn't you know how Bay came home?
I got the push-cart, see?
And wheeled him in the front-yard door
Just one way and another,
I didn't make mud-marks on the floor,
Or scratch the paint on the front-way door,
'Cos I am a careful brother;
I putted him into the new white cot,
I covered him up till he grew quite hot,
And then called mother to see;
So Bay doesn't stay in the stars any more
But only with mother and me.
BABY SONG
The grandmas talked with worried eyes
And said it was a shame—
Nobody wanted Littley then
Before our Littley came.
And said it was a shame—
Nobody wanted Littley then
Before our Littley came.
Boyo's nose will be out of joint,
He's a toddling baby yet,
And now there's another one coming along,
Poor little pet!
He's a toddling baby yet,
And now there's another one coming along,
Poor little pet!
But Littley rode through the storm of doubt
And the cloud of the troubled brow;
Nobody wanted Littley then—
But you should hear them now!
And the cloud of the troubled brow;
Nobody wanted Littley then—
But you should hear them now!
WHISPER!
Someone smashed the photo-lady;
Who upset the pot of musk?
Was it Micky? Was it Padie
Hunting Micky in the dusk?
Someone smashed the photo-lady;
Who upset the pot of musk?
Was it Micky? Was it Padie
Hunting Micky in the dusk?
SOUL DISCIPLINE
They say I'm a bad-tempered man,
And yet I never swear
When flop into my porridge
Comes a woolly Teddy Bear!
And yet I never swear
When flop into my porridge
Comes a woolly Teddy Bear!
They say I'm an impatient man,
And yet I never shoot
When, after breakfasting, I find
Damp toffy in my boot!
And yet I never shoot
When, after breakfasting, I find
Damp toffy in my boot!
And when my wife and my two sons
Are dutifully kissed,
I don't go crook if I'm called back
When Sufi has been missed!
Are dutifully kissed,
I don't go crook if I'm called back
When Sufi has been missed!
I'm always on the scowl and quick
To censure or condemn;
But, somehow things seem different
With little boys like them.
To censure or condemn;
But, somehow things seem different
With little boys like them.
WEEP SONG
Strike, strike, strike again,
Bump them on the head;
Every minute somebody,
Falls down dead.
Bump them on the head;
Every minute somebody,
Falls down dead.
Algernons and Berts
Washing out their shirts,
Babies in the bed
Crying for some bread.
Gentlemen with brains,
Looking for their trains.
Washing out their shirts,
Babies in the bed
Crying for some bread.
Gentlemen with brains,
Looking for their trains.
Strike, strike, strike again,
Always on the head;
Every minute somebody
Drops down dead.
Always on the head;
Every minute somebody
Drops down dead.
WHISPER!
In the after afternoons
When there comes big starey moons,
Often we've heard Micky playing
By the window, fairy tunes.
But I don't know what he's saying
In the after afternoons.
In the after afternoons
When there comes big starey moons,
Often we've heard Micky playing
By the window, fairy tunes.
But I don't know what he's saying
In the after afternoons.
MASTER IN EQUITY
Did I hear the two boys say,
"Two boys have been good to-day?"
Santa's schooner's lost a sail,
Someone tored it with a nail,
What's that mark on Sufi's tail?
I dunno, da you?
Did boys eat they trifle slow
When they mother told them to?
I dunno, I dunno,
I dunno, da you?
"Two boys have been good to-day?"
Santa's schooner's lost a sail,
Someone tored it with a nail,
What's that mark on Sufi's tail?
I dunno, da you?
Did boys eat they trifle slow
When they mother told them to?
I dunno, I dunno,
I dunno, da you?
Who's been cutting Sufi's hair?
There's a broken dish I see;
Padie, don't be hiding there,
Bring my slippers out to me.
Both boys have been good they say,
Only cried an ittoo bit;
Anyone been fighting Bay,
Two new scars since yesterday?
That was just a weeny hit,
'Cos he'd always want to sit
On the picture of the train
Just when I was reading it.
Two boys have been good again.
Two boys didn't do some more
What they were said not to do,
Two boys have been good it's true!
On the lawn's a splendid show,
Twenteen firewoods in a row!
Where does this hand-mirror go?
I dunno, I dunno!
Wheelmarks on the front-room floor,
Sunday cake forks spread out too!
Mudprints on the kitchen door—
There's a broken dish I see;
Padie, don't be hiding there,
Bring my slippers out to me.
Both boys have been good they say,
Only cried an ittoo bit;
Anyone been fighting Bay,
Two new scars since yesterday?
That was just a weeny hit,
'Cos he'd always want to sit
On the picture of the train
Just when I was reading it.
Two boys have been good again.
Two boys didn't do some more
What they were said not to do,
Two boys have been good it's true!
On the lawn's a splendid show,
Twenteen firewoods in a row!
Where does this hand-mirror go?
I dunno, I dunno!
Wheelmarks on the front-room floor,
Sunday cake forks spread out too!
Mudprints on the kitchen door—
WHISPER!
Anyone seen Micky, say,
On the Coota-wattle perching?
He might know and run away
If he knows we're searching, searching.
Anyone seen Micky, say,
On the Coota-wattle perching?
He might know and run away
If he knows we're searching, searching.
Wonder how they got there for?
I dunno, I dunno,
I dunno, da you?
I dunno, I dunno,
I dunno, da you?
Did I hear the two boys say,
"Two boys have been good to-day?"
Why is mother worried so?
All these good things can't be true.
Have the boys been good who show
Scratches red and bruises blue?
I dunno, I dunno,
I dunno, da you?
"Two boys have been good to-day?"
Why is mother worried so?
All these good things can't be true.
Have the boys been good who show
Scratches red and bruises blue?
I dunno, I dunno,
I dunno, da you?
EVENTIDE
Come and have your bath, boys,
Two boys together,
Rolling on the lawn all day
In the dusty weather.
Padie, jump into the water,
Soak the brown legs white;
Come and have your bath, boys,
No heads to-night!
Two boys together,
Rolling on the lawn all day
In the dusty weather.
Padie, jump into the water,
Soak the brown legs white;
Come and have your bath, boys,
No heads to-night!
Boats to sail and feets to scrub
Feets and faces too;
Sliding 'round the 'namel tub
Frowing soap at you;
Drop your scooter quick, Bay,
Everything's all right,
Didn't you hear mother say
No heads to-night?
Feets and faces too;
Sliding 'round the 'namel tub
Frowing soap at you;
Drop your scooter quick, Bay,
Everything's all right,
Didn't you hear mother say
No heads to-night?
WHISPER!
When he talks to Bay and me,
Micky doesn't seem to know
It's too far for boys to see.
If he's in the trellis tree;
It's too damp for boys to go
Hunting in the grass below.
When he talks to Bay and me,
Micky doesn't seem to know
It's too far for boys to see.
If he's in the trellis tree;
It's too damp for boys to go
Hunting in the grass below.
THE ORDER OF THE BED
Say about the Three Pigs,
And what the soldier said,
Wynken song and Tom, Tom,
And piggy-back to bed.
And what the soldier said,
Wynken song and Tom, Tom,
And piggy-back to bed.
Little boys are sleepy, sleepy,
Never mind they prayers,
Let them wait for mother here,
Father's knees for chairs.
Sufi, singing like a kettle,
Or a nightingale,
Puts his nose against our toes
And smoothes them with his tail.
Never mind they prayers,
Let them wait for mother here,
Father's knees for chairs.
Sufi, singing like a kettle,
Or a nightingale,
Puts his nose against our toes
And smoothes them with his tail.
Here comes mother with the blankets
Bundled on her chest,
Holding them and folding them
For two boys' nest.
Boys washed and pillows patted,
Everything's all right,
Picture books to cuddoo up,
And please leave the light.
Bundled on her chest,
Holding them and folding them
For two boys' nest.
Boys washed and pillows patted,
Everything's all right,
Picture books to cuddoo up,
And please leave the light.
Hey Dee and Hey Ho!
And little Bo-Peep,
One story, two songs,
To make the boys asleep.
Say about Red Riding Hood
And what the Bunyip said,
Wynken song and Tom, Tom,
And piggy-back to bed.
And little Bo-Peep,
One story, two songs,
To make the boys asleep.
Say about Red Riding Hood
And what the Bunyip said,
Wynken song and Tom, Tom,
And piggy-back to bed.
WHISPER!
On the rafters in the night,
I've heard little footmarks trot;
And I watch the candle light,
Wondering if it's him or not.
On the rafters in the night,
I've heard little footmarks trot;
And I watch the candle light,
Wondering if it's him or not.
"IDEAS"
Please can I have a light, mother?
I never know what to do
When the Three Bears ride on the White Bell-horse,
And the Mermaid gallops to Banbury Cross,
And the Cheshire Cat says "Moo!"
I never know what to do
When the Three Bears ride on the White Bell-horse,
And the Mermaid gallops to Banbury Cross,
And the Cheshire Cat says "Moo!"
Gnomes come round with prickly wings
And squeeze in under the clo's,
The dark gets full of story things,
The window-moon says "Fee, fo, fum!"
And the Pigs that went to market come
And nibble at my toes!
And squeeze in under the clo's,
The dark gets full of story things,
The window-moon says "Fee, fo, fum!"
And the Pigs that went to market come
And nibble at my toes!
Two big eyes walk round the room,
Fierce Pirate Ships go by;
And Sleeping Beauty straddles a broom
And falls all down the sky;
The Man in the Moon waits underneath
And gobbles her up with great big teeth,
And that's what makes me cry!
Fierce Pirate Ships go by;
And Sleeping Beauty straddles a broom
And falls all down the sky;
The Man in the Moon waits underneath
And gobbles her up with great big teeth,
And that's what makes me cry!
The things you tell in the afternoon
Get mixed and won't come right;
"Fee-fo-fum!" says the Window-Moon—
It's the little candle they fear, mother,
Will you leave the candle here, mother?
Please can I have a light?
Get mixed and won't come right;
"Fee-fo-fum!" says the Window-Moon—
It's the little candle they fear, mother,
Will you leave the candle here, mother?
Please can I have a light?
MOTHERHOOD
It would appear that no great pleasures can be
Without their merit of trial and urgency:
For I do know a lady whose rare joys
Wake when she has tucked in two little boys.
Without their merit of trial and urgency:
For I do know a lady whose rare joys
Wake when she has tucked in two little boys.
WHISPER!
Micky's always everywhere;
Watches children while they sleeping,
Round about the attic stair
Sometimes mother saw him peeping.
Micky's always everywhere;
Watches children while they sleeping,
Round about the attic stair
Sometimes mother saw him peeping.
GOOD-NIGHT
Two brown heads on the pillows white....
Bye ... good-bye ... that's all to-night.
Bye ... good-bye ... that's all to-night.
Two bikes 'round in the picnic place ...
Old horse tied to the apple-case.
Old horse tied to the apple-case.
Gentle Jesus ... send the boys,
Bats and balls for they winter toys.
Bats and balls for they winter toys.
Sufi's naughty ... not 'lowed out....
Pigeon feathers blowing about.
Pigeon feathers blowing about.
Two bikes 'round in the ... two bikes 'round....
Feathers blowing ... the scooter's found.
Feathers blowing ... the scooter's found.
God bless Jesus ... Bay's asleep ...
Where's my pillow-book?... Soul to keep.
Where's my pillow-book?... Soul to keep.
Two bikes ... two ... are the stars alight?
Bye ... good-bye ... that's all ... t'night.
Bye ... good-bye ... that's all ... t'night.
Two brown heads on the pillows deep,
Two boys mumble theyselfs to sleep.
Two boys mumble theyselfs to sleep.
WHISPER!
Micky doesn't like much noise,
He's a wide-eye-whisper fairy,
Very kind to girls and boys,
Very shy and most contrary.
Micky doesn't like much noise,
He's a wide-eye-whisper fairy,
Very kind to girls and boys,
Very shy and most contrary.
WHISPER!
Tip-toe, tip-toe! Hush the noise!
There's a wide-eye-whisper tune!
Micky's telling songs to boys,
Sleepy after the afternoon.
Tip-toe, tip-toe! Hush the noise!
There's a wide-eye-whisper tune!
Micky's telling songs to boys,
Sleepy after the afternoon.