[Here, patient reader, we take leave of each other, I trust with some mutual satisfaction. I say patient, for I love not that kind which skims dippingly over the surface of the page, as swallows over a pool before rain. By such no pearls shall be gathered. But if no pearls there be (as, indeed, the world is not without example of books wherefrom the longest-winded diver shall bring up no more than his proper handful of mud), yet let us hope that an oyster or two may reward adequate perseverance. If neither pearls nor oysters, yet is patience itself a gem worth diving deeply for.
It may seem to some that too much space has been usurped by my own private lucubrations, and some may be fain to bring against me that old jest of him who preached all his hearers out of the meeting-house save only the sexton, who, remaining for yet a little space, from a sense of official duty, at last gave out also, and, presenting the keys, humbly requested our preacher to lock the doors, when he should have wholly relieved himself of his testimony. I confess to a satisfaction in the self act of preaching, nor do I esteem a discourse to be wholly thrown away even upon a sleeping or unintelligent auditory. I cannot easily believe that the Gospel of St. John, which Jacques Cartier ordered to be read in the Latin tongue to the Canadian savages, upon his first meeting with them, fell altogether upon stony ground. For the earnestness of the preacher is a sermon appreciable by dullest intellects and most alien ears. In this wise did Episcopius convert many to his opinions, who yet understood not the language in which he discoursed. The chief thing is, that the messenger believe that he has an authentic message to deliver. For counterfeit messengers that mode of treatment which Father John de Plano Carpini relates to have prevailed among the Tartars would seem effectual, and, perhaps, deserved enough. For my own part, I may lay claim to so much of the spirit of martyrdom as would have led me to go into banishment with those clergymen whom Alphonso the Sixth of Portugal drave out of his kingdom for refusing to shorten their pulpit eloquence. It is possible, that, having been invited into my brother Biglow's desk, I may have been too little scrupulous in using it for the venting of my own peculiar doctrines to a congregation drawn together in the expectation and with the desire of hearing him.
I am not wholly unconscious of a peculiarity of mental organization which impels me, like the railroad-engine with its train of cars, to run backward for a short distance in order to obtain a fairer start. I may compare myself to one fishing from the rocks when the sea runs high, who, misinterpreting the suction of the undertow for the biting of some larger fish, jerks suddenly, and finds that he has caught bottom, hauling in upon the end of his line a trail of various algæ, among which, nevertheless, the naturalist may haply find somewhat to repay the disappointment of the angler. Yet have I conscientiously endeavoured to adapt myself to the impatient temper of the age, daily degenerating more and more from the high standard of our pristine New England. To the catalogue of lost arts I would mournfully add also that of listening to two-hour sermons. Surely we have been abridged into a race of pigmies. For, truly, in those of the old discourses yet subsisting to us in print, the endless spinal column of divisions and subdivisions can be likened to nothing so exactly as to the vertebræ of the saurians, whence the theorist may conjecture a race of Anakim proportionate to the withstanding of these other monsters. I say Anakim rather than Nephelim, because there seem reasons for supposing that the race of those whose heads (though no giants) are constantly enveloped in clouds (which that name imports) will never become extinct. The attempt to vanquish the innumerable heads of one of those aforementioned discourses may supply us with a plausible interpretation of the second labour of Hercules, and his successful experiment with fire affords us a useful precedent.
But while I lament the degeneracy of the age in this regard, I cannot refuse to succumb to its influence. Looking out through my study-window, I see Mr. Biglow at a distance busy in gathering his Baldwins, of which, to judge by the number of barrels lying about under the trees, his crop is more abundant than my own,—by which sight I am admonished to turn to those orchards of the mind wherein my labours may be more prospered, and apply myself diligently to the preparation of my next Sabbath's discourse.—H. W.]
GLOSSARY.
A.
- Act'lly, actually.
- Air, are.
- Airth, earth.
- Airy, area.
- Aree, area.
- Arter, after.
- Ax, ask.
B.
- Beller, bellow.
- Bellowses, lunge.
- Ben, been.
- Bile, boil.
- Bimeby, by and by.
- Blurt out, to speak bluntly.
- Bust, burst.
- Buster, a roistering blade;
- used also as a general superlative.
C.
- Caird, carried.
- Cairn, carrying.
- Caleb, a turncoat.
- Cal'late, calculate.
- Cass, a person with two lives.
- Close, clothes.
- Cockerel, a young cock.
- Cocktail, a kind of drink;
- also, an ornament peculiar to soldiers.
- Convention, a place where people are imposed on;
- a juggler's show.
- Coons, a cant term for a now defunct party;
- derived, perhaps, from the fact of their being commonly up a tree.
- Cornwallis, a sort of muster in masquerade;
- supposed to have had its origin soon after the Revolution, and to commemorate the surrender of Lord Cornwallis. It took the place of the old Guy Fawkes procession.
- Crooked stick, a perverse, froward person.
- Cunnle, a colonel.
- Cus, a curse;
- also, a pitiful fellow.
D.
- Darsn't, used indiscriminately, either in singular or plural number, for dare not, dares not, and dared not.
- Deacon off, to give the cue to;
- derived from a custom, once universal, but now extinct, in our New England Congregational churches. An important part of the office of deacon was to read aloud the hymns given out by the minister, one line at a time, the congregation singing each line as soon as read.
- Demmercrat, leadin', one in favour of extending slavery;
- a free-trade lecturer maintained in the custom-house.
- Desput, desperate.
- Doos, does.
- Doughface, a contented lick-spittle;
- a common variety of Northern politician.
- Dror, draw.
- Du, do.
- Dunno, dno, do not or does not know.
- Dut, dirt.
E.
- Eend, end.
- Ef, if.
- Emptins, yeast.
- Env'y, envoy.
- Everlasting, an intensive, without reference to duration.
- Ev'y, every.
- Ez, as.
F.
- Fer, for.
- Ferfle, ferful, fearful;
- also an intensive.
- Fin', find.
- Fish-skin, used in New England to clarify coffee.
- Fix, a difficulty, a nonplus.
- Foller, folly, to follow.
- Forrerd, forward.
- Frum, from.
- Fur, far.
- Furder, farther.
- Furrer, furrow.
- Metaphorically, to draw a straight furrow is to live uprightly or decorously.
- Fust, first.
G.
- Gin, gave.
- Git, get.
- Gret, great.
- Grit, spirit, energy, pluck.
- Grout, to sulk.
- Grouty, crabbed, surly.
- Gum, to impose on.
- Gump, a foolish fellow, a dullard.
- Gut, got.
H.
- Hed, had.
- Heern, heard.
- Hellum, helm.
- Hendy, handy.
- Het, heated.
- Hev, have.
- Hez, has.
- Holl, whole.
- Holt, hold.
- Huf, hoof.
- Hull, whole.
- Hum, home.
- Humbug, General Taylor's antislavery.
- Hut, hurt.
I.
- Idno, I do not know.
- In'my, enemy.
- Insines, ensigns;
- used to designate both the officer who carries the standard, and the standard itself.
- Inter, intu, into.
J.
- Jedge, judge.
- Jest, just.
- Jine, join.
- Jint, joint.
- Junk, a fragment of any solid substance.
K.
- Keer, care.
- Kep, kept.
- Killock, a small anchor.
- Kin', kin' o', kinder, kind, kind of.
L.
- Lawth, loath.
- Let day-light into, to shoot.
- Let on, to hint, to confess, to own.
- Lick, to beat, to overcome.
- Lights, the bowels.
- Lily-pads, leaves of the water-lily.
- Long-sweetening, molasses.
- Loon, the northern diver.
M.
- Mash, marsh.
- Mean, stingy, ill-natured.
- Min', mind.
N.
- Ned, a slang phrase, going it like Ned, equivalent to our 'going like old Harry.'
- Nimepunce, ninepence, twelve and a half cents.
- Nowers, nowhere.
O.
- Offen, often.
- Ole, old.
- Ollers, olluz, always.
- On, of;
- used before it or them, or at the end of a sentence, as on 't, on 'em, nut ez ever I heerd on.
- On'y, only.
- Ossifer, officer (seldom heard).
P.
- Peaked, pointed.
- Peek, to peep.
- Pickerel, the pike, a fish.
- Pint, point.
- Pocket full of rocks, plenty of money.
- Pooty, pretty.
- Pop'ler, conceited, popular.
- Pus, purse.
- Put out, troubled, vexed.
Q.
- Quarter, a quarter-dollar.
- Queen's arm, a musket.
R.
- Resh, rush.
- Revelee, the réveille.
- Rile, to trouble.
- Riled, angry;
- disturbed, as the sediment in any liquid.
- Riz, risen.
- Row, a long row to hoe, a difficult task.
- Rugged, robust.
- Row-de-dow, troublesome talk.
S.
- Sarse, abuse, impertinence.
- Sartin, certain.
- Saxon, sacristan, sexton.
- Scaliest, worst.
- Scringe, cringe.
- Scrouge, to crowd.
- Sech, such.
- Set by, valued.
- Shakes, great, of considerable consequence.
- Shappoes, chapeaux, cocked-hats.
- Sheer, share.
- Shet, shut.
- Shine, a fancy or liking, also written shindy.
- Shut, shirt.
- Skeered, scared.
- Skeeter, mosquito.
- Skooting, running or moving swiftly.
- Slarterin', slaughtering.
- Slim, contemptible.
- Snaked, crawled like a snake;
- but to snake any one out, is to track him to his hiding-place;
- to snake a thing out is to snatch it out.
- Soffies, sofas.
- Sogerin', soldiering;
- a barbarous amusement common among men in the savage state.
- Som'ers, somewhere.
- So 'st, so as that.
- Sot, set, obstinate, resolute.
- Spiles, spoils; objects of political ambition.
- Spry, active.
- Staddles, stout stakes driven into the salt marshes, on which the hay-ricks are set, and thus raised out of the reach of high tides.
- Streaked, uncomfortable, discomfited.
- Suckle, circle.
- Sutthin', something.
- Suttin, certain.
- Swan, to swear.
T.
- Take on, to sorrow.
- Talents, talons.
- Taters, potatoes.
- Tell, till.
- Tetch, touch.
- Tetch tu, to be able;
- used always after a negative in this sense.
- Tollable, tolerable.
- Toot, used derisively for playing on any wind instrument.
- Thru, through.
- Thundering, a euphemism common in New England, for the profane English expression devilish. Perhaps derived from the belief, common formerly, that thunder was caused by the Prince of the Air, for some of whose accomplishments consult Cotton Mather.
- Tu, to, too;
- commonly has this sound when used emphatically, or at the end of a sentence. At other times it has the sound of t in tough, as Ware ye goin' tu? Goin' ta Boston.
U.
- Ugly, ill-tempered, intractable.
- Uncle Sam, United States;
- the largest boaster of liberty and owner of slaves.
- Unrizzest, applied to dough or bread;
- heavy, most unrisen, or most incapable of rising.
V.
- V spot, a five-dollar bill.
- Vally, value.
W.
- Wake snakes, to get into trouble.
- Wal, well;
- spoken with great deliberation, and sometimes with the a very much flattened, sometimes (but more seldom) very much broadened.
- Wannut, walnut (hickory).
- Ware, where.
- Ware, were.
- Whopper, an uncommonly large lie;
- as, that General Taylor is in favour of the Wilmot Proviso.
- Wig, Whig;
- a party now dissolved.
- Wiz, to whiz;
- go off (like a rocket).
- Wunt, will not.
- Wus, worse.
- Wut, what.
- Wuth, worth;
- as, Antislavery perfessions 'fore 'lection aint wuth a Bungtown copper.
- Wuz, was, sometimes were.
Y.
- Yaller, yellow.
- Yeller, yellow.
- Yellers, a disease of peach-trees.
Z.
- Zach, Ole, a second Washington, an antislavery slaveholder, a humane buyer and seller of men and women, a Christian hero generally.
INDEX.
- A. B., information wanted concerning, 76.
- Adam, eldest son of, respected, 10.
- Æneas goes to hell, 101.
- Æolus, a seller of money, as is supposed by some, 101.
- Æschylus, a saying of, 51, note.
- Alligator, a decent one conjectured to be, in some sort, humane, 120.
- Alphonso the Sixth of Portugal, tyrannical act of, 120.
- Ambrose, Saint, excellent (but rationalistic) sentiment of, 35.
- "American Citizen," new compost so called, 104.
- American Eagle, a source of inspiration, 45
- Amos, cited, 34.
- Anakim, that they formerly existed, shown, 124.
- Angels, providentially speak French, 23
- —conjectured to be skilled in all tongues, ib.
- Anglo-Saxondom, its idea, what, 21.
- Anglo-Saxon mask, 21.
- Anglo-Saxon race, 16.
- Anglo-Saxon verse, by whom carried to perfection, 11.
- Antonius, a speech of, 40
- —by whom best reported, ib.
- Apocalypse, beast in, magnetic to theologians, 83.
- Apollo, confessed mortal by his own oracle, 83.
- Apollyon, his tragedies popular, 72.
- Appian, an Alexandrian, not equal to Shakspeare as an orator, 40.
- Ararat, ignorance of foreign tongues is an, 53.
- Arcadian background, 106.
- Aristophanes, 34.
- Arms, profession of, once esteemed especially that of gentlemen, 10.
- Arnold, 42.
- Ashland, 106.
- Astor, Jacob, a rich man, 91.
- Astræa, nineteenth century forsaken by, 102.
- Athenians, ancient, an institution of, 41.
- Atherton, Senator, envies the loon, 60.
- Austin, St., profane wish of, 43, note.
- Aye-Aye, the, an African animal, America supposed to be settled by, 25.
- Babel, probably the first Congress, 53
- —a gabble-mill, ib.
- Baby, a low-priced one, 98.
- Bagowind, Hon. Mr., whether to be damned, 63.
- Baldwin apples, 125.
- Baratarias, real or imaginary, which most pleasant, 102.
- Barnum, a great natural curiosity recommended to, 49.
- Barrels, an inference from seeing, 125.
- Bâton Rouge, 106
- —strange peculiarities of labourers at, 107.
- Baxter, R., a saying of, 35.
- Bay, Mattysqumscot, 119.
- Bay State, singular effect produced on military officers by leaving it, 21.
- Beast in Apocalypse, a loadstone, for whom, 83.
- Beelzebub, his rigadoon, 61.
- Behmen, his letters not letters, 76.
- Bellers, a saloon-keeper, 111
- —inhumanly refuses credit to a presidential candidate, 112.
- Biglow, Ezekiel, his letter to Hon. J. T. Buckingham, 1
- Biglow, Hosea, excited by composition, 2
- —a poem by, 3, 66
- —his opinion of war, 4
- —wanted at home by Nancy, 7
- —recommends a forcible enlistment of warlike editors, ib.
- —would not wonder, if generally agreed with, 9
- —versifies letter of Mr. Sawin, 11
- —a letter from, 12, 57, 77
- —his opinion of Mr. Sawin, 12
- —does not deny fun at Cornwallis, 14, note
- —his idea of militia glory, 17, note
- —a pun of, 18, note
- —is uncertain in regard to people of Boston, ib.
- —had never heard of Mr. John P. Robinson, 27
- —aliquid sufflaminandus, 28
- —his poems attributed to a Mr. Lowell, 33
- —is unskilled in Latin, ib.
- —his poetry maligned by some, 34
- —his disinterestedness, ib.
- —his deep share in commonweal, ib.
- —his claim to the presidency, ib.
- —his mowing, ib.
- —resents being called Whig, 35
- —opposed to tariff, ib.
- —obstinate, ib.
- —infected with peculiar notions, ib.
- —reports a speech, 40
- —emulates historians of antiquity, ib.
- —his character sketched from a hostile point of view, 52
- —a request of his complied with, 64
- —appointed at a public meeting in Jaalam, 77
- —confesses ignorance, in one minute particular, of propriety, ib.
- —his opinion of cocked hats, ib.
- —letter to, ib.
- —called "Dear Sir," by a general, ib.
- —probably receives same compliment from two hundred and nine, ib.
- —picks his apples, 125
- —his crop of Baldwins conjecturally large, ib.
- Billings, Dea. Cephas, 14.
- Birch, virtue of, in instilling certain of the dead languages, 100.
- Bird of our country sings hosanna, 16.
- Blind, to go it, 98.
- Blitz pulls ribbons from his mouth, 16.
- Bluenose potatoes, smell of, eagerly desired, 17.
- Bobtail obtains a cardinal's hat, 25.
- Bolles, Mr. Secondary, author of prize peace essay, 15
- Bonaparte, N., a usurper, 83.
- Boot-trees, productive, where, 100.
- Boston, people of, supposed educated, 18, note.
- Brahmins, navel-contemplating, 74.
- Bread-trees, 100.
- Brigadier-Generals in militia, devotion of, 38.
- Brown, Mr., engages in an unequal contest, 63.
- Browne, Sir T., a pious and wise sentiment of, cited and commended, 11.
- Buckingham, Hon. J. T., editor of the Boston Courier, letters to, 1, 12, 33, 57
- —not afraid, 13.
- Buffalo, a plan hatched there, 115
- —plaster, a prophecy in regard to, ib.
- Buncombe, in the other world supposed, 41.
- Bung, the eternal, thought to be loose, 7.
- Bungtown Fencibles, dinner of, 26.
- Butter in Irish bogs, 100.
- C., General, commended for parts, 29
- Cæsar, tribute to, 66
- —his veni, vidi, vici, censured for undue prolixity, 85.
- Cainites, sect of, supposed still extant, 10.
- Caleb, a monopoly of his denied, 15
- Calhoun, Hon. J. C., his cow-bell curfew, light of the nineteenth century to be extinguished at sound of, 55
- Cambridge Platform, use discovered for, 24.
- Canary Islands, 100.
- Candidate, presidential, letter from, 74
- Cape Cod clergymen, what, 24
- —Sabbath-breakers, perhaps, reproved by, ib.
- Carpini, Father John de Plano, among the Tartars, 123.
- Cartier, Jacques, commendable zeal of, 123.
- Cass, General, 59
- Castles, Spanish, comfortable accommodations in, 102.
- Cato, letters of, so called, suspended naso adunco, 76.
- C. D., friends of, can hear of him, 76.
- Chalk egg, we are proud of incubation of, 75.
- Chappelow on Job, a copy of, lost, 65.
- Cherubusco, news of, its effects on English royalty, 50.
- Chesterfield no letter-writer, 76.
- Chief Magistrate, dancing esteemed sinful by, 24.
- Children naturally speak Hebrew, 11.
- China-tree, 100.
- Chinese, whether they invented gunpowder before the Christian era, not considered, 25.
- Choate hired, 113.
- Christ shuffled into Apocrypha, 25
- Christianity, profession of, plebian, whether, 10.
- Christian soldiers, perhaps inconsistent, whether, 38.
- Cicero, an opinion of, disputed, 84.
- Cilley, Ensign, author of nefarious sentiment, 26.
- Cimex lectularius, 18.
- Cincinnatus, a stock character in modern comedy, 106.
- Civilization, progress of, an alias, 65
- —rides upon a powder-cart, 79.
- Clergymen, their ill husbandry, 64
- Cocked-hat, advantages of being knocked into, 77.
- College of Cardinals, a strange one, 25.
- Colman, Dr. Benjamin, anecdote of, 38.
- Coloured folks, curious national diversion of kicking, 19.
- Colquitt, a remark of, 60
- —acquainted with some principles of aerostation, ib.
- Columbia, District of, its peculiar climatic effects, 44
- —not certain that Martin is for abolishing it, 115.
- Columbus, a Paul Pry of genius, 74.
- Columby, 109.
- Complete Letter-Writer, fatal gift of, 82.
- Compostella, St. James of, seen, 22.
- Congress, singular consequence of getting into, 43.
- Congressional debates, found instructive, 53.
- Constituents, useful for what, 44.
- Constitution trampled on, 58
- —to stand upon, what, 78.
- Convention, what, 44.
- Convention, Springfield, 44.
- Coon, old, pleasure in skinning, 59.
- Coppers, caste in picking up of, 94.
- Copres, a monk, his excellent method of arguing, 54.
- Cornwallis, a, 14
- Cotton Mather, summoned as witness, 23.
- Country lawyers, sent providentially, 31.
- Country, our, its boundaries more exactly defined, 32
- —right or wrong, nonsense about exposed, ib.
- Courier, The Boston, an unsafe print, 52.
- Court, General, farmers sometimes attain seats in, 107.
- Cowper, W., his letters commended, 76.
- Creed, a safe kind of, 97.
- Crusade, first American, 23.
- Cuneiform script recommended, 85.
- Curiosity distinguishes man from brutes, 74.
- Davis, Mr., of Mississippi, a remark of his, 59.
- Day and Martin, proverbially "on hand," 2.
- Death, rings down curtain, 72.
- Delphi, oracle of, surpassed, 51, note
- —alluded to, 83.
- Destiny, her account, 49.
- Devil, the, unskilled in certain Indian tongues, 23.
- Dey of Tripoli, 55.
- Diaz, Bernal, has a vision, 22
- —his relationship to the Scarlet Woman, ib.
- Didymus, a somewhat voluminous grammarian, 83.
- Dighton rock character might be usefully employed in some emergencies, 84.
- Dimitry Bruisgins, fresh supply of, 73.
- Diogenes, his zeal for propagating certain variety of olive, 100.
- Dioscuri, imps of the pit, 23.
- District-Attorney, contemptible conduct of one, 55.
- Ditchwater on brain, a too common ailing, 54.
- Doctor, the, a proverbial saying of, 22.
- Doughface, yeast-proof, 69.
- Drayton, a martyr, 55
- —north star, culpable for aiding, whether, 62.
- Earth, Dame, a peep at her housekeeping, 56.
- Eating words, habit of, convenient in time of famine, 49.
- Eavesdroppers, 74.
- Editor, his position, 64
- Editors, certain ones who crow like cockerels, 7.
- Egyptian darkness, phial of, use for, 84.
- Eldorado, Mr. Sawin sets sail for, 100.
- Elizabeth, Queen, mistake of her ambassador, 41.
- Empedocles, 74.
- Employment, regular, a good thing, 93.
- Epaulets, perhaps no badge of saint-ship, 30.
- Episcopius, his marvellous oratory, 123.
- Eric, king of Sweden, his cap, 101.
- Evangelists, iron ones, 24.
- Eyelids, a divine shield against authors, 54.
- Ezekiel, text taken from, 64.
- Factory-girls, expected rebellion of, 60.
- Family-trees, fruit of jejune, 100.
- Faneuil Hall, a place where persons tap themselves for a species of hydrocephalus, 54
- —a bill of fare mendaciously advertised in, 100.
- Father of country, his shoes, 108.
- Female Papists, cut off in midst of idolatry, 104.
- Fire, we all like to play with it, 56.
- Fish, emblematic, but disregarded, where, 54.
- Flam, President, untrustworthy, 45.
- Fly-leaves, providential increase of, 54.
- Foote, Mr., his taste for field-sports, 58.
- Fourier, a squinting toward, 52.
- Fourth of Julys, boiling, 42.
- France, a strange dance begun in, 61.
- Fuller, Dr. Thomas, a wise saying of, 28.
- Funnel, Old, hurraing in, 15.
- Gawain, Sir, his amusements, 56.
- Gay, S. H., Esquire, editor of National Antislavery Standard, letter to, 74.
- Getting up early, 4, 20.
- Ghosts, some, presumed fidgety, (but see Stilling's Pneumatology,) 75.
- Giants formerly stupid, 56.
- Gift of Tongues, distressing case of, 53.
- Globe Theatre, cheap season-ticket to, 72.
- Glory, a perquisite of officers, 94
- —her account with B. Sawin, Esq., 99.
- Goatsnose, the celebrated interview, with, 84.
- Gray's letters are letters, 76.
- Great horn spoon, sworn by, 58.
- Greeks, ancient, whether they questioned candidates, 84.
- Green Man, sign of, 35.
- Ham, sandwich, an orthodox (but peculiar) one, 62.
- Hamlets, machine for making, 87.
- Hammon, 51, note, 83.
- Hannegan, Mr., something said by, 59.
- Harrison, General, how preserved, 82.
- Hat-trees, in full bearing, 100.
- Hawkins, Sir John, stout, something he saw, 100.
- Henry the Fourth, of England, a Parliament of, how named, 41.
- Hercules, his second labour probably what, 124.
- Herodotus, story from, 11.
- Hesperides, an inference from, 100.
- Holden, Mr. Shearjashub, Preceptor of Jaalam Academy, 83
- Hollis, Ezra, goes to a Cornwallis, 14.
- Hollow, why men providentially so constructed, 42.
- Homer, a phrase of, cited, 65.
- Horners, democratic ones, plums left for, 46.
- Howell, James, Esq. story told by, 41
- —letters of, commended, 76.
- Human rights out of order on the floor of Congress, 58.
- Humbug, ascription of praise to, 70
- —generally believed in, ib.
- Husbandry, instance of bad, 28.
- Icarius, Penelope's father, 32.
- Infants, prattlings of, curious observation concerning, 11.
- Information wanted (universally, but especially at page), 76.
- Jaalam Centre, Anglo-Saxons unjustly suspected by the young ladies there, 21
- Jaalam Point, light-house on charge of prospectively offered to Mr. H. Biglow, 81
- —meeting-house ornamented with imaginary clock, 102.
- Jakes, Captain, 119
- —reproved for avarice, ib.
- James the Fourth of Scots, experiment by, 11.
- Jarnagin, Mr., his opinion of the completeness of Northern education, 60.
- Jerome, Saint, his list of sacred writers, 76.
- Job, Book of, 10
- —Chappelow on, 65.
- Johnson, Mr., communicates some intelligence, 61.
- Jonah, the inevitable destiny of, 62
- —probably studied internal economy of the cetacea, 75.
- Jortin, Dr., cited 39, 51, note.
- Judea, everything not known there, 31.
- Juvenal, a saying of, 50, note.
- Kay, Sir, the, of modern chivalry, who, 56.
- Key, brazen one, 55.
- Keziah, Aunt, profound observation of, 3.
- Kinderhook, 106.
- Kingdom Come, march to, easy, 89.
- Königsmark, Count, 10.
- Lamb, Charles, his epistolary excellence, 76.
- Latimer, Bishop, episcopizes Satan, 10.
- Latin tongue, curious information concerning, 33.
- Launcelot, Sir, a trusser of giants formerly, perhaps would find less sport therein now, 56.
- Letters classed, 76
- Lewis Philip, a scourger of young native Americans, 50
- Liberator, a newspaper, condemned by implication, 35.
- Liberty unwholesome for men of certain complexions, 66.
- Lignum vitæ, a gift of this valuable wood proposed, 22.
- Longinus recommends swearing, 13, note (Fuseli did same thing).
- Long sweetening recommended, 90.
- Lost arts, one sorrowfully added to list of, 124.
- Louis the Eleventh of France, some odd trees of his, 100.
- Lowell, Mr. J. R., unaccountable silence of, 33.
- Luther, Martin, his first appearance as Europa, 22.
- Lyttelton, Lord, his letters, an imposition, 76.
- Macrobii, their diplomacy, 84.
- Mahomet, got nearer Sinai than some, 66.
- Mahound, his filthy gobbets, 23.
- Mangum, Mr., speaks to the point, 58.
- Manichæan, excellently confuted, 54.
- Man-trees, grew where, 100.
- Mares'-nests, finders of, benevolent, 75.
- Marshfield, 106, 113.
- Martin, Mr. Sawin used to vote for him, 115.
- Mason and Dixon's line, slaves north of, 58.
- Mass, the, its duty defined, 59.
- Massachusetts, on her knees, 8
- Masses, the, used as butter by some, 46.
- M. C., an invertebrate animal, 49.
- Mechanics' Fair, reflections suggested at, 87.
- Mentor, letters of, dreary, 76.
- Mephistopheles at a nonplus, 62.
- Mexican blood, its effect in raising price of cloth, 103.
- Mexican polka, 24.
- Mexicans charged with various breaches of etiquette, 22
- —kind feelings beaten into them, 70.
- Mexico, no glory in overcoming, 45.
- Military glory spoken disrespectfully of, 17, note
- —militia treated still worse, ib.
- Milk-trees, growing still, 100.
- Mills for manufacturing gabble, how driven, 53.
- Milton, an unconscious plagiary, 43, note
- —a Latin verse of, cited, 66.
- Missions, a profitable kind of, 67.
- Monarch, a pagan, probably not favoured in philosophical experiments, 12.
- Money-trees desirable, 100
- —that they once existed shown to be variously probable, ib.
- Montaigne, a communicative old Gascon, 75.
- Monterey, battle of, its singular chromatic effect on a species of two-headed eagle, 50.
- Moses held up vainly as an example, 65
- —construed by Joe Smith, ib.
- Myths, how to interpret readily, 84.
- Naboths, Popish ones, how distinguished, 25.
- Nation, rights of, proportionate to size, 20.
- National pudding, its effect on the organs of speech, a curious physiological fact, 25.
- Nephelim, not yet extinct, 124.
- New England overpoweringly honoured, 48
- Newspaper, the, wonderful, 70
- New York, Letters from, commended, 76.
- Next life, what, 72.
- Niggers, 5
- Ninepence a day low for murder, 14.
- No, a monosyllable, 25
- —hard to utter, ib.
- Noah, inclosed letter in bottle, probably, 75.
- Nornas, Lapland, what, 101.
- North, has no business, 58
- —bristling, crowded off roost, 81.
- North Bend, geese inhumanly treated at, 82
- —mentioned, 113.
- North Star, a proposition to indict, 62.
- Off ox, 70.
- Officers, miraculous transformation in character of, 21
- —Anglo-Saxon, come very near being anathematized, 22.
- O'Phace, Increase D., Esq., speech of, 40.
- Oracle of Fools, still respectfully consulted, 41.
- Orion, becomes commonplace, 73.
- Orrery, Lord, his letters (lord!), 76.
- Ostracism, curious species of, 41.
- Palestine, 23.
- Palfrey, Hon. J. G., 41, 50 (a worthy representative of Massachusetts.)
- Pantagruel recommends a popular oracle, 41.
- Panurge, his interview with Goatsnose, 84.
- Papists, female, slain by zealous Protestant bomb-shell, 104.
- Paralipomenon, a man suspected of being, 82.
- Paris, liberal principles safe as far away as, 66.
- Parliamentum Indoctorum sitting in permanence, 44.
- Past, the, a good nurse, 55.
- Patience, sister, quoted, 16.
- Paynims, their throats propagandistically cut, 23.
- Penelope, her wise choice, 32.
- People, soft enough, 68
- —want correct ideas, 97.
- Pepin, King, 76.
- Periwig, 80.
- Persius, a pithy saying of, 46, note.
- Pescara, Marquis, saying of, 10.
- Peter, Saint, a letter of (post-mortem), 76.
- Pharisees, opprobriously referred to, 66.
- Philippe, Louis, in pea-jacket, 71.
- Phlegyas quoted, 63.
- Phrygian language, whether Adam spoke it, 11.
- Pilgrims, the, 45.
- Pillows, constitutional, 49.
- Pinto, Mr., some letters of his commended, 76.
- Pisgah, an impromptu one, 100.
- Platform, party, a convenient one, 97.
- Plato, supped with, 75
- —his man, 82.
- Pleiades, the, not enough esteemed, 73.
- Pliny, his letters not admired, 76.
- Plotinus, a story of, 55.
- Plymouth Rock, Old, a Convention wrecked on, 45.
- Point Tribulation, Mr. Sawin wrecked on, 100.
- Poles, exile, whether crop of beans depends on, 19, note.
- Polk, President, synonymous with our country, 30
- Polka, Mexican, 24.
- Pomp, a runaway slave, his nest, 117
- Pontifical bull, a tamed one, 22.
- Pope, his verse excellent, 11.
- Pork, refractory in boiling, 22.
- Portugal, Alphonso the Sixth of, a monster, 123.
- Post, Boston, 33
- Pot-hooks, death in, 59.
- Preacher, an ornamental symbol, 65
- Present, considered as an annalist, 65
- —not long wonderful, 73.
- President, slaveholding natural to, 66
- Principle, exposure spoils it, 43.
- Principles, bad, when less harmful, 27.
- Prophecy, a notable one, 51, note.
- Proviso, bitterly spoken of, 79.
- Prudence, sister, her idiosyncratic teapot, 92.
- Psammeticus, an experiment of, 11.
- Public opinion a blind and drunken guide, 25
- Pythagoras a bean-hater, why, 84.
- Pythagoreans, fish reverenced by, why, 54.
- Quixote, Don, 57.
- Rag, one of sacred college, 25.
- Rantoul, Mr., talks loudly, 16
- —pious reason for not enlisting, ib.
- Recruiting sergeant, Devil supposed the first, 10.
- Representatives' Chamber, 54.
- Rhinothism, society for promoting, 74.
- Rhyme, whether natural not considered, 11.
- Rib, an infrangible one, 90.
- Richard the First of England, his Christian fervour, 23.
- Riches conjectured to have legs as well as wings, 62.
- Robinson, Mr. John P., his opinions fully stated, 27-31.
- Rocks, pocket full of, 91.
- Rough and Ready, 111
- Russian eagle turns Prussian blue, 50.
- Sabbath, breach of, 27.
- Sabellianism, one accused of, 82.
- Saltillo, unfavourable view of, 17.
- Salt-river in, Mexican, what, 17.
- Samuel, Uncle, riotous, 50
- Sansculottes, draw their wine before drinking, 61.
- Santa Anna, his expensive leg, 96.
- Satan, never wants attorneys, 22
- Satirist, incident to certain dangers, 28.
- Savages, Canadian, chance of redemption offered to, 123.
- Sawin, B., Esquire, his letter not written in verse, 11
- —a native of Jaalam, 12
- —not regular attendant on Rev. Mr. Wilbur's preaching, ib.
- —a fool, ib.
- —his statements trustworthy, ib.
- —his ornithological tastes, ib.
- —letter from, 13, 86, 106
- —his curious discovery in regard to bayonets, 15
- —displays proper family pride, ib.
- —modestly confesses himself less wise than the Queen of Sheba, 19
- —the old Adam in, peeps out, 21
- —a miles emeritus, 86
- —is made text for a sermon, ib.
- —loses a leg, 88
- —an eye, 89
- —left hand, ib.
- —four fingers of right hand, ib.
- —has six or more ribs broken, ib.
- —a rib of his infrangible, 90
- —allows a certain amount of preterite greenness in himself, 90, 91
- —his share of spoil limited, ib.
- —his opinion of Mexican climate, 92
- —acquires property of a certain sort, 93
- —his experience of glory, 93, 94
- —stands sentry, and puns thereupon, 95
- —undergoes martyrdom in some of its most painful forms, ib.
- —enters the candidating business, 96
- —modestly states the (avail) abilities which qualify him for high political station, 96, 99
- —has no principles, 96
- —a peaceman, ib.
- —unpledged, 97
- —has no objections to owning peculiar property, but would not like to monopolize the truth, 98
- —his account with glory, 99
- —a selfish motive hinted in, 100
- —sails for Eldorado, ib.
- —shipwrecked on a metaphorical promontory, ib.
- —parallel between, and Rev. Mr. Wilbur (not Plutarchian), 102
- —conjectured to have bathed in river Selemnus, 106
- —loves plough wisely, but not too well, ib.
- —a foreign mission probably expected by, 107
- —unanimously nominated for presidency, 108
- —his country's father-in-law, 109
- —nobly emulates Cincinnatus, 110
- —is not a crooked stick, ib.
- —advises his adherents, ib.
- —views of, on present state of politics, 110-117
- —popular enthusiasm for, at Bellers's, and its disagreeable consequences, 111
- —inhuman treatment of, by Bellers, 112
- —his opinion of the two parties, 113
- —agrees with Mr. Webster, ib.
- —his antislavery zeal, 115
- —his proper self-respect, ib.
- —his unaffected piety, ib.
- —his not intemperate temperance, 117
- —a thrilling adventure of, 117-122
- —his prudence and economy, 117
- —bound to Captain Jakes, but regains his freedom, 119
- —is taken prisoner, 121-122
- —ignominiously treated, 121-122
- —his consequent resolution, 122.
- Sayres, a martyr, 55.
- Scaliger, saying of, 28.
- Scarabæus pilularius, 18.
- Scott, General, his claims to the presidency, 34, 37.
- Scythians, their diplomacy commended, 84.
- Seamen, coloured, sold, 8.
- Selemnus, a sort of Lethean river, 106.
- Senate, debate in, made readable, 55.
- Seneca, saying of, 27
- Serbonian bog of literature, 54.
- Sextons, demand for, 61
- —heroic official devotion of one, 120.
- Shaking fever, considered as an employer, 93.
- Shakspeare, a good reporter, 40.
- Sham, President, honest, 45.
- Sheba, Queen of, 19.
- Sheep, none of Rev. Mr. Wilbur's turned wolves, 12.
- Shem, Scriptural curse of, 122.
- Show, natural to love it, 17, note.
- Silver spoon born in Democracy's mouth what, 43.
- Sinai suffers outrages, 66.
- Sin, wilderness of, modern, what, 66.
- Skin, hole in, strange taste of some for, 94.
- Slaughter, whether God strengthen us for, 24.
- Slaughterers and soldiers compared, 104.
- Slaughtering nowadays is slaughtering, 104.
- Slavery, of no colour, 6
- Smith, Joe, used as a translation, 65.
- Smith, John, an interesting character, 74.
- Smith, Mr., fears entertained for, 63
- —dined with, 75.
- Smith, N. B., his magnanimity, 75.
- Soandso, Mr., the great, defines his position, 75.
- Sol, the fisherman, 18
- —soundness of respiratory organs hypothetically attributed to, ib.
- Solon, a saying of, 25.
- South Carolina, futile attempt to anchor, 57.
- Spanish, to walk, what, 20.
- Speech-making, an abuse of gift of speech, 53.
- Star, north, subject to indictment, whether, 62.
- Store, cheap cash, a wicked fraud, 102.
- Strong, Governor Caleb, a patriot, 32.
- Swearing, commended as a figure of speech, 13, note.
- Swift, Dean, threadbare saying of, 34.
- Tag, elevated to the Cardinalate, 25.
- Taxes, direct, advantages of, 103.
- Taylor zeal, its origin, 111
- —General, greased by Mr. Choate, 113.
- Thanks, get lodged, 93.
- Thirty-nine articles might be made serviceable, 24.
- Thor, a foolish attempt of, 57.
- Thumb, General Thomas, a valuable member of society, 49.
- Thunder, supposed in easy circumstances, 90.
- Thynne, Mr., murdered, 10.
- Time, an innocent personage to swear by, 13, note
- —a scene-shifter, 72.
- Toms, Peeping, 74.
- Trees, various kinds of extraordinary ones, 100.
- Trowbridge, William, mariner, adventure of, 24.
- Truth and falsehood start from same point, 27
- Tuileries, exciting scene at, 51.
- Tully, a saying of, 43, note.
- Tweedledee, gospel according to, 66.
- Tweedledum, great principles of, 66.
- Ulysses, husband of Penelope, 32
- —borrows money, 101. (For full particulars of, see Homer and Dante.)
- University, triennial catalogue of, 36.
- Van Buren fails of gaining Mr. Sawin's confidence, 116
- —his son John reproved, ib.
- Van, Old, plan to set up, 115.
- Venetians, invented something once, 101.
- Vices, cardinal, sacred conclave of, 24.
- Victoria, Queen, her natural terror, 50.
- Vratz, Captain, a Pomeranian, singular views of, 10.
- Walpole, Horace, classed, 75
- —his letters praised, 76.
- Waltham Plain, Cornwallis at, 14.
- Walton, punctilious in his intercourse with fishes, 25.
- War, abstract, horrid, 79
- —its hoppers, grist of, what, 94.
- Warton, Thomas, a story of, 38.
- Washington, charge brought against, 109.
- Washington, city of, climatic influence of, on coats, 44
- Washingtons, two hatched at a time by improved machine, 109.
- Wate, Taunton, proverbially weak, 117.
- Water-trees, 100.
- Webster, some sentiments of, commended by Mr. Sawin, 113.
- Westcott, Mr., his horror, 61.
- Whig party, has a large throat, 35
- —but query as to swallowing spurs, 114.
- White-house, 81.
- Wife-trees, 100.
- Wilbur, Rev. Homer, A. M., consulted, 2
- —his instructions to his flock, 12
- —a proposition of his for Protestant bombshells, 24
- —his elbow nudged, 26
- —his notions of satire, 27
- —some opinions of his quoted with apparent approval by Mr. Biglow, 31
- —geographical speculations of, 32
- —a justice of the peace, ib.
- —a letter of, 33
- —a Latin pun of, ib.
- —runs against a post without injury, 34
- —does not seek notoriety (whatever some malignants may affirm), 36
- —fits youths for college, ib.
- —a chaplain during late war with England, 38
- —a shrewd observation of, 40
- —some curious speculations of, 52, 54
- —his martello-tower, 53
- —forgets he is not in pulpit, 62, 86
- —extracts from sermon of, 64, 70
- —interested in John Smith, 74
- —his views concerning present state of letters, 74, 77
- —a stratagem of, 82
- —ventures two hundred and fourth interpretation of Beast in Apocalypse, 83
- —christens Hon. B. Sawin, then an infant, 86
- —an addition to our sylva proposed by, 100
- —curious and instructive adventure of, 101, 102
- —his account with an unnatural uncle, 103
- —his uncomfortable imagination, 104
- —speculations concerning Cincinnatus, 106
- —confesses digressive tendency of mind, 123
- —goes to work on sermon (not without fear that his readers will dub him with a reproachful epithet like that with which Isaac Allerton, a Mayflower man, revenges himself on a delinquent debtor of his, calling him in his will, and thus holding him up to posterity, as "John Peterson, The Bore"), 125.
- Wilbur, Mrs., an invariable rule of, 37
- —her profile, ib.
- Wildbore, a vernacular one, how to escape, 54.
- Wind, the, a good Samaritan, 86.
- Wooden leg, remarkable for sobriety, 88
- —never eats pudding, 90.
- Wright, Colonel, providentially rescued, 18.
- Wrong, abstract, safe to oppose, 46.
- Zack, Old, 110.