Could for her trade wish better sign;
Her looks gave flavour to her wine,
And each guest feels it, as he sips,
Smack of the ruby of her lips.
Her looks gave flavour to her wine,
And each guest feels it, as he sips,
Smack of the ruby of her lips.
A smile for all, a welcome glad,—
A jovial coaxing way she had;
And,—what was more her fate than blame,—
A nine months' widow was our dame.
A jovial coaxing way she had;
And,—what was more her fate than blame,—
A nine months' widow was our dame.
But toil was hard, for trade was good,
And gallants sometimes will be rude.
"And what can a lone woman do?
The nights are long and eerie too.
And gallants sometimes will be rude.
"And what can a lone woman do?
The nights are long and eerie too.
Now, Guillot there's a likely man,
None better draws or taps a can;
He's just the man, I think, to suit,
If I could bring my courage to't."
None better draws or taps a can;
He's just the man, I think, to suit,
If I could bring my courage to't."
With thoughts like these her mind is crossed:
The dame, they say, who doubts, is lost.
"But then the risk? I'll beg a slice
Of Father Raulin's good advice."
The dame, they say, who doubts, is lost.
"But then the risk? I'll beg a slice
Of Father Raulin's good advice."
Prankt in her best, with looks demure,
She seeks the priest; and, to be sure,
Asks if he thinks she ought to wed:
"With such a business on my head,
I'm worried off my legs with care,
And need some help to keep things square.
She seeks the priest; and, to be sure,
Asks if he thinks she ought to wed:
"With such a business on my head,
I'm worried off my legs with care,
And need some help to keep things square.
I've thought of Guillot, truth to tell!
He's steady, knows his business well.
What do you think?" When thus he met her:
"Oh, take him, dear, you can't do better!"
He's steady, knows his business well.
What do you think?" When thus he met her:
"Oh, take him, dear, you can't do better!"
"But then the danger, my good pastor,
If of the man I make the master.
There is no trusting to these men."
If of the man I make the master.
There is no trusting to these men."
"Well, well, my dear, don't have him, then!"
"But help I must have; there's the curse.
I may go farther and fare worse."
"But help I must have; there's the curse.
I may go farther and fare worse."
"Why, take him, then!"
"But if he should
Turn out a thankless ne'er-do-good—
In drink and riot waste my all,
And rout me out of house and hall?"
Turn out a thankless ne'er-do-good—
In drink and riot waste my all,
And rout me out of house and hall?"
"Don't have him, then! But I've a plan
To clear your doubts, if any can.
To clear your doubts, if any can.
The bells a peal are ringing,—hark!
Go straight, and what they tell you mark.
If they say 'Yes!' wed, and be blest—
If 'No,' why—do as you think best."
Go straight, and what they tell you mark.
If they say 'Yes!' wed, and be blest—
If 'No,' why—do as you think best."
The bells rang out a triple bob:
Oh, how our widow's heart did throb,
As thus she heard their burden go,
"Marry, mar-marry, mar-Guillot!"
Oh, how our widow's heart did throb,
As thus she heard their burden go,
"Marry, mar-marry, mar-Guillot!"
Bells were not then left to hang idle:
A week,—and they rang for her bridal.
A week,—and they rang for her bridal.
But, woe the while, they might as well
Have rung the poor dame's parting knell.
The rosy dimples left her cheek,
She lost her beauties plump and sleek;
For Guillot oftener kicked than kissed,
And backed his orders with his fist,
Proving by deeds as well as words
That servants make the worst of lords.
Have rung the poor dame's parting knell.
The rosy dimples left her cheek,
She lost her beauties plump and sleek;
For Guillot oftener kicked than kissed,
And backed his orders with his fist,
Proving by deeds as well as words
That servants make the worst of lords.
She seeks the priest, her ire to wreak,
And speaks as angry women speak,
With tiger looks and bosom swelling,
Cursing the hour she took his telling.
And speaks as angry women speak,
With tiger looks and bosom swelling,
Cursing the hour she took his telling.
To all, his calm reply was this,—
"I fear you've read the bells amiss:
If they have led you wrong in aught,
Your wish, not they, inspired the thought.
"I fear you've read the bells amiss:
If they have led you wrong in aught,
Your wish, not they, inspired the thought.
Just go, and mark well what they say."
Off trudged the dame upon her way,
And sure enough their chime went so,—
"Don't have that knave, that knave Guillot!"
Off trudged the dame upon her way,
And sure enough their chime went so,—
"Don't have that knave, that knave Guillot!"
"Too true," she cried, "there's not a doubt
What could my ears have been about?"
She had forgot, that, as fools think,
The bell is ever sure to clink.
What could my ears have been about?"
She had forgot, that, as fools think,
The bell is ever sure to clink.
THE DEATH OF ISHMAEL.
[This and the six following poems are examples of that new achievement of modern song—which, blending the utile with the dulce, symbolises at once the practical and spiritual characteristics of the age,—and is called familiarly "the puff poetical."]
Died the Jew? "The Hebrew died.
On the pavement cold he lay,
Around him closed the living tide;
The butcher's cad set down his tray;
The pot-boy from the Dragon Green
No longer for his pewter calls;
The Nereid rushes in between,
Nor more her 'Fine live mackerel!' bawls."
On the pavement cold he lay,
Around him closed the living tide;
The butcher's cad set down his tray;
The pot-boy from the Dragon Green
No longer for his pewter calls;
The Nereid rushes in between,
Nor more her 'Fine live mackerel!' bawls."
Died the Jew? "The Hebrew died.
They raised him gently from the stone,
They flung his coat and neckcloth wide—
But linen had that Hebrew none.
They raised the pile of hats that pressed
His noble head, his locks of snow;
But, ah, that head, upon his breast,
Sank down with an expiring 'Clo!'"
They raised him gently from the stone,
They flung his coat and neckcloth wide—
But linen had that Hebrew none.
They raised the pile of hats that pressed
His noble head, his locks of snow;
But, ah, that head, upon his breast,
Sank down with an expiring 'Clo!'"
Died the Jew? "The Hebrew died,
Struck with overwhelming qualms
From the flavour spreading wide
Of some fine Virginia hams.
Would you know the fatal spot,
Fatal to that child of sin?
These fine-flavoured hams are bought
At 50 Bishopsgate Within!"
Struck with overwhelming qualms
From the flavour spreading wide
Of some fine Virginia hams.
Would you know the fatal spot,
Fatal to that child of sin?
These fine-flavoured hams are bought
At 50 Bishopsgate Within!"
Original Size
PARR'S LIFE PILLS
Twas in the town of Lubeck,
A hundred years ago,
An old man walked into the church,
With beard as white as snow;
Yet were his cheeks not wrinkled,
Nor dim his eagle eye:
There's many a knight that steps the street,
Might wonder, should he chance to meet
That man erect and high!
A hundred years ago,
An old man walked into the church,
With beard as white as snow;
Yet were his cheeks not wrinkled,
Nor dim his eagle eye:
There's many a knight that steps the street,
Might wonder, should he chance to meet
That man erect and high!
When silenced was the organ,
And hushed the vespers loud,
The Sacristan approached the sire,
And drew him from the crowd—
"There's something in thy visage,
On which I dare not look;
And when I rang the passing bell,
A tremor that I may not tell,
My very vitals shook.
And hushed the vespers loud,
The Sacristan approached the sire,
And drew him from the crowd—
"There's something in thy visage,
On which I dare not look;
And when I rang the passing bell,
A tremor that I may not tell,
My very vitals shook.
"Who art thou, awful stranger?
Our ancient annals say,
That twice two hundred years ago
Another passed this way
Like thee in face and feature;
And, if the tale be true,
'Tis writ, that in this very year
Again the stranger shall appear.
Art thou the Wandering Jew?"
Our ancient annals say,
That twice two hundred years ago
Another passed this way
Like thee in face and feature;
And, if the tale be true,
'Tis writ, that in this very year
Again the stranger shall appear.
Art thou the Wandering Jew?"
"The Wandering Jew, thou dotard!"
The wondrous phantom cried—
"'Tis several centuries ago
Since that poor stripling died.
He would not use my nostrums—
See, shaveling, here they are!
These put to flight all human ills,
These conquer death—unfailing pills,
And I'm the inventor, PARR!"
The wondrous phantom cried—
"'Tis several centuries ago
Since that poor stripling died.
He would not use my nostrums—
See, shaveling, here they are!
These put to flight all human ills,
These conquer death—unfailing pills,
And I'm the inventor, PARR!"
Original Size
TARQUIN AND THE AUGUR
Gingerly is good King Tarquin shaving,
Gently glides the razor o'er his chin,
Near him stands a grim Haruspex raving,
And with nasal whine he pitches in
Church extension hints,
Till the monarch squints,
Snicks his chin, and swears—a deadly sin!
Gently glides the razor o'er his chin,
Near him stands a grim Haruspex raving,
And with nasal whine he pitches in
Church extension hints,
Till the monarch squints,
Snicks his chin, and swears—a deadly sin!
"Jove confound thee, thou bare-legged impostor
From my dressing-table get thee gone!
Dost thou think my flesh is double Glo'ster?
There again! That cut was to the bone!
Get ye from my sight;
I'll believe you're right
When my razor cuts the sharpening hone!"
From my dressing-table get thee gone!
Dost thou think my flesh is double Glo'ster?
There again! That cut was to the bone!
Get ye from my sight;
I'll believe you're right
When my razor cuts the sharpening hone!"
Thus spoke Tarquin with a deal of dryness;
But the Augur, eager for his fees,
Answered—"Try it, your Imperial Highness;
Press a little harder, if you please.
There! the deed is done!"
But the Augur, eager for his fees,
Answered—"Try it, your Imperial Highness;
Press a little harder, if you please.
There! the deed is done!"
Through the solid stone
Went the steel as glibly as through cheese.
So the Augur touched the tin of Tarquin,
Who suspected some celestial aid:
But he wronged the blameless gods; for hearken!
Ere the monarch's bet was rashly laid,
With his searching eye
Did the priest espy
RODGERS' name engraved upon the blade.
Went the steel as glibly as through cheese.
So the Augur touched the tin of Tarquin,
Who suspected some celestial aid:
But he wronged the blameless gods; for hearken!
Ere the monarch's bet was rashly laid,
With his searching eye
Did the priest espy
RODGERS' name engraved upon the blade.
LA MORT d'ARTHUR
NOT BY ALFRED TENNYSON.
Slowly, as one who bears a mortal hurt,
Through which the fountain of his life runs dry,
Crept good King Arthur down unto the lake.
Through which the fountain of his life runs dry,
Crept good King Arthur down unto the lake.
A roughening wind was bringing in the waves
With cold dull plash and plunging to the shore,
And a great bank of clouds came sailing up
Athwart the aspect of the gibbous moon,
Leaving no glimpse save starlight, as he sank,
With a short stagger, senseless on the stones.
With cold dull plash and plunging to the shore,
And a great bank of clouds came sailing up
Athwart the aspect of the gibbous moon,
Leaving no glimpse save starlight, as he sank,
With a short stagger, senseless on the stones.
No man yet knows how long he lay in swound
But long enough it was to let the rust
Lick half the surface of his polished shield;
For it was made by far inferior hands,
Than forged his helm, his breastplate, and his greaves,
Whereon no canker lighted, for they bore
The magic stamp of MECHI'S SILVER STEEL.
But long enough it was to let the rust
Lick half the surface of his polished shield;
For it was made by far inferior hands,
Than forged his helm, his breastplate, and his greaves,
Whereon no canker lighted, for they bore
The magic stamp of MECHI'S SILVER STEEL.
Original Size
JUPITER AND THE INDIAN ALE
"Take away this clammy nectar!"
Said the king of gods and men;
"Never at Olympus' table
Let that trash be served again.
Said the king of gods and men;
"Never at Olympus' table
Let that trash be served again.
Ho, Lyæus, thou, the beery!
Quick—invent some other drink;
Or, in a brace of shakes, thou standest
On Cocytus' sulphury brink!"
Quick—invent some other drink;
Or, in a brace of shakes, thou standest
On Cocytus' sulphury brink!"
Terror shook the limbs of Bacchus,
Paly grew his pimpled nose,
And already in his rearward
Felt he Jove's tremendous toes;
When a bright idea struck him—
"Dash my thyrsus! I'll be bail—
For you never were in India—
That you know not HODGSON'S ALE!"
Paly grew his pimpled nose,
And already in his rearward
Felt he Jove's tremendous toes;
When a bright idea struck him—
"Dash my thyrsus! I'll be bail—
For you never were in India—
That you know not HODGSON'S ALE!"
"Bring it!" quoth the Cloud-compeller;
And the wine-god brought the beer—
"Port and claret are like water
To the noble stuff that's here!"
And the wine-god brought the beer—
"Port and claret are like water
To the noble stuff that's here!"
And Saturnius drank and nodded,
Winking with his lightning eyes,
And amidst the constellations
Did the star of HODGSON rise!
Winking with his lightning eyes,
And amidst the constellations
Did the star of HODGSON rise!
Original Size
THE LAY OF THE DONDNEY BROTHERS
Coats at five-and-forty shillings! trousers ten-and-six a
pair!
Summer waistcoats, three a sov'reign, light and comfort-
able wear!
Taglionis, black or coloured, Chesterfield and velveteen!
The old English shooting-jacket—doeskins, such as ne'er
were seen!
Army cloaks and riding-habits, Alberts at a trifling cost!
Do you want an annual contract? Write to DOUDNEYS'
by the post.
pair!
Summer waistcoats, three a sov'reign, light and comfort-
able wear!
Taglionis, black or coloured, Chesterfield and velveteen!
The old English shooting-jacket—doeskins, such as ne'er
were seen!
Army cloaks and riding-habits, Alberts at a trifling cost!
Do you want an annual contract? Write to DOUDNEYS'
by the post.
DOUDNEY BROTHERS! DOUDNEY BROTHERS! Not the men
that drive the van,
Plastered o'er with advertisements, heralding some paltry
plan,
How, by base mechanic stinting, and by pinching of their
backs,
Slim attorneys' clerks may manage to retrieve their
Income-tax:
But the old established business—where the best of clothes
are given
At the very lowest prices—Fleet Street, Number Ninety-
seven.
that drive the van,
Plastered o'er with advertisements, heralding some paltry
plan,
How, by base mechanic stinting, and by pinching of their
backs,
Slim attorneys' clerks may manage to retrieve their
Income-tax:
But the old established business—where the best of clothes
are given
At the very lowest prices—Fleet Street, Number Ninety-
seven.
Wouldst thou know the works of DOUDNEY? Hie thee
to the thronged Arcade,
To the Park upon a Sunday, to the terrible Parade.
to the thronged Arcade,
To the Park upon a Sunday, to the terrible Parade.
There, amid the bayonets bristling, and the flashing of the
steel,
When the household troops in squadrons round the bold
field-marshals wheel,
Shouldst thou see an aged warrior in a plain blue morning
frock,
Peering at the proud battalions o'er the margin of his
stock,—
Should thy throbbing heart then tell thee, that the veteran
worn and grey
Curbed the course of Bonaparte, rolled the thunders of
Assaye—
Let it tell thee, stranger, likewise, that the goodly garb
he wears
Started into shape and being from the DOUDNEY BROTHERS'
shears!
steel,
When the household troops in squadrons round the bold
field-marshals wheel,
Shouldst thou see an aged warrior in a plain blue morning
frock,
Peering at the proud battalions o'er the margin of his
stock,—
Should thy throbbing heart then tell thee, that the veteran
worn and grey
Curbed the course of Bonaparte, rolled the thunders of
Assaye—
Let it tell thee, stranger, likewise, that the goodly garb
he wears
Started into shape and being from the DOUDNEY BROTHERS'
shears!
Seek thou next the rooms of Willis—mark, where
D'Orsay's Count is bending,
See the trouser's undulation from his graceful hip
descending;
Hath the earth another trouser so compact and love-
compelling?
Thou canst find it, stranger, only, if thou seek'st the
DOUDNEYS' dwelling!
Hark, from Windsor's royal palace, what sweet voice
enchants the ear?
"Goodness, what a lovely waistcoat! Oh, who made it,
Albert dear?
'Tis the very prettiest pattern! You must get a dozen
others!"
And the Prince, in rapture, answers—"'Tis the work of
DOUDNEY BROTHERS!"
D'Orsay's Count is bending,
See the trouser's undulation from his graceful hip
descending;
Hath the earth another trouser so compact and love-
compelling?
Thou canst find it, stranger, only, if thou seek'st the
DOUDNEYS' dwelling!
Hark, from Windsor's royal palace, what sweet voice
enchants the ear?
"Goodness, what a lovely waistcoat! Oh, who made it,
Albert dear?
'Tis the very prettiest pattern! You must get a dozen
others!"
And the Prince, in rapture, answers—"'Tis the work of
DOUDNEY BROTHERS!"
PARIS AND HELEN
As the youthful Paris presses
Helen to his ivory breast,
Sporting with her golden tresses,
Close and ever closer pressed,
Helen to his ivory breast,
Sporting with her golden tresses,
Close and ever closer pressed,
"Let me," said he, "quaff the nectar,
"Which thy lips of ruby yield;
Glory I can leave to Hector,
Gathered in the tented field.
"Which thy lips of ruby yield;
Glory I can leave to Hector,
Gathered in the tented field.
"Let me ever gaze upon thee,
Look into thine eyes so deep;
With a daring hand I won thee,
With a faithful heart I'll keep.
Look into thine eyes so deep;
With a daring hand I won thee,
With a faithful heart I'll keep.
"Oh, my Helen, thou bright wonder,
Who was ever like to thee?
Jove would lay aside his thunder,
So he might be blest like me.
Who was ever like to thee?
Jove would lay aside his thunder,
So he might be blest like me.
"How mine eyes so fondly linger
On thy soft and pearly skin;
Scan each round and rosy finger,
Drinking draughts of beauty in!
On thy soft and pearly skin;
Scan each round and rosy finger,
Drinking draughts of beauty in!
"Tell me, whence thy beauty, fairest?
Whence thy cheek's enchanting bloom?
Whence the rosy hue thou wearest,
Breathing round thee rich perfume?"
Whence thy cheek's enchanting bloom?
Whence the rosy hue thou wearest,
Breathing round thee rich perfume?"
Thus he spoke, with heart that panted,
Clasped her fondly to his side,
Gazed on her with look enchanted,
While his Helen thus replied:
Clasped her fondly to his side,
Gazed on her with look enchanted,
While his Helen thus replied:
"Be no discord, love, between us,
If I not the secret tell!
'Twas a gift I had of Venus,—
Venus, who hath loved me well.
If I not the secret tell!
'Twas a gift I had of Venus,—
Venus, who hath loved me well.
"And she told me as she gave it,
'Let not e'er the charm be known;
O'er thy person freely lave it,
Only when thou art alone.'
'Let not e'er the charm be known;
O'er thy person freely lave it,
Only when thou art alone.'
"'Tis enclosed in yonder casket—
Here behold its golden key;
But its name—love, do not ask it,
Tell't I may not, even to thee!"
Here behold its golden key;
But its name—love, do not ask it,
Tell't I may not, even to thee!"
Long with vow and kiss he plied her;
Still the secret did she keep,
Till at length he sank beside her,
Seemed as he had dropped to sleep.
Still the secret did she keep,
Till at length he sank beside her,
Seemed as he had dropped to sleep.
Soon was Helen laid in slumber,
When her Paris, rising slow,
Did his fair neck disencumber
From her rounded arms of snow.
When her Paris, rising slow,
Did his fair neck disencumber
From her rounded arms of snow.
Then, her heedless fingers oping,
Takes the key and steals away,
To the ebon table groping,
Where the wondrous casket lay;
Takes the key and steals away,
To the ebon table groping,
Where the wondrous casket lay;
Eagerly the lid uncloses,
Sees within it, laid aslope,
PEAR'S LIQUID BLOOM OF ROSES,
Cakes of his TRANSPARENT SOAP!
Sees within it, laid aslope,
PEAR'S LIQUID BLOOM OF ROSES,
Cakes of his TRANSPARENT SOAP!
SONG OF THE ENNUYE
I'm weary, and sick, and disgusted
With Britain's mechanical din;
Where I'm much too well known to be trusted,
And plaguily pestered for tin;
Where love has two eyes for your hanker,
And one chilly glance for yourself;
Where souls can afford to be franker,
But when they're well garnished with pelf.
With Britain's mechanical din;
Where I'm much too well known to be trusted,
And plaguily pestered for tin;
Where love has two eyes for your hanker,
And one chilly glance for yourself;
Where souls can afford to be franker,
But when they're well garnished with pelf.
I'm sick of the whole race of poets,
Emasculate, misty, and fine;
They brew their small-heer, and don't know its
Distinction from full-bodied wine.
Emasculate, misty, and fine;
They brew their small-heer, and don't know its
Distinction from full-bodied wine.
I'm sick of the prosers, that house up
At drowsy St Stephen's,—ain't you?
I want some strong spirits to rouse up
A good revolution or two!
At drowsy St Stephen's,—ain't you?
I want some strong spirits to rouse up
A good revolution or two!
I'm sick of a land, where each morrow
Repeats the dull tale of to-day,
Where you can't even find a new sorrow
To chase your stale pleasures away.
Repeats the dull tale of to-day,
Where you can't even find a new sorrow
To chase your stale pleasures away.
I'm sick of blue stockings horrific,
Steam, railroads, gas, scrip, and consols:
So I'll off where the golden Pacific
Round islands of Paradise rolls.
Steam, railroads, gas, scrip, and consols:
So I'll off where the golden Pacific
Round islands of Paradise rolls.
There the passions shall revel unfettered,
And the heart never speak but in truth,
And the intellect, wholly unlettered,
Be bright with the freedom of youth!
There the earth can rejoice in her blossoms,
Unsullied by vapour or soot,
And there chimpanzees and opossums
Shall playfully pelt me with fruit.
And the heart never speak but in truth,
And the intellect, wholly unlettered,
Be bright with the freedom of youth!
There the earth can rejoice in her blossoms,
Unsullied by vapour or soot,
And there chimpanzees and opossums
Shall playfully pelt me with fruit.
There I'll sit with my dark Orianas,
In groves by the murmuring sea,
And they'll give, as I suck the bananas,
Their kisses, nor ask them from me.
They'll never torment me for sonnets,
Nor bore me to death with their own;
They'll ask not for shawls nor for bonnets,
For milliners there are unknown.
In groves by the murmuring sea,
And they'll give, as I suck the bananas,
Their kisses, nor ask them from me.
They'll never torment me for sonnets,
Nor bore me to death with their own;
They'll ask not for shawls nor for bonnets,
For milliners there are unknown.
There my couch shall be earth's freshest flowers,
My curtains the night and the stars,
And my spirit shall gather new powers,
Uncramped by conventional bars.
My curtains the night and the stars,
And my spirit shall gather new powers,
Uncramped by conventional bars.
Love for love, truth for truth ever giving,
My days shall be manfully sped;
I shall know that I'm loved while I'm living,
And be wept by fond eyes when I'm dead!
My days shall be manfully sped;
I shall know that I'm loved while I'm living,
And be wept by fond eyes when I'm dead!
CAROLINE
With, thy locks all raven-shaded,
From thy merry brow up-braided,
And thine eyes of laughter full,
Brightsome cousin mine!
From thy merry brow up-braided,
And thine eyes of laughter full,
Brightsome cousin mine!
Thou in chains of love hast bound me—
Wherefore dost thou flit around me,
Laughter-loving Caroline!
Wherefore dost thou flit around me,
Laughter-loving Caroline!
When I fain would go to sleep
In my easy-chair,
Wherefore on my slumbers creep—
Wherefore start me from repose,
Tickling of my hookèd nose,
Pulling of my hair?
Wherefore, then, if thou dost love me,
So to words of anger move me,
Corking of this face of mine,
Tricksy cousin Caroline?
In my easy-chair,
Wherefore on my slumbers creep—
Wherefore start me from repose,
Tickling of my hookèd nose,
Pulling of my hair?
Wherefore, then, if thou dost love me,
So to words of anger move me,
Corking of this face of mine,
Tricksy cousin Caroline?
When a sudden sound I hear,
Much my nervous system suffers,
Shaking through and through.
Cousin Caroline, I fear,
'Twas no other, now, but you,
Put gunpowder in the snuffers,
Springing such a mine!
Much my nervous system suffers,
Shaking through and through.
Cousin Caroline, I fear,
'Twas no other, now, but you,
Put gunpowder in the snuffers,
Springing such a mine!
Yes, it was your tricksy self,
Wicked-trickèd little elf,
Naughty cousin Caroline!
Wicked-trickèd little elf,
Naughty cousin Caroline!
Pins she sticks into my shoulder,
Places needles in my chair,
And, when I begin to scold her,
Tosses back her combed hair,
With so saucy-vexed an air,
That the pitying beholder
Cannot brook that I should scold her:
Then again she comes, and bolder,
Blacks anew this face of mine,
Artful cousin Caroline!
Places needles in my chair,
And, when I begin to scold her,
Tosses back her combed hair,
With so saucy-vexed an air,
That the pitying beholder
Cannot brook that I should scold her:
Then again she comes, and bolder,
Blacks anew this face of mine,
Artful cousin Caroline!
Would she only say she'd love me,
Winsome, tinsome Caroline,
Unto such excess 'twould move me,
Teazing, pleasing, cousin mine!
Winsome, tinsome Caroline,
Unto such excess 'twould move me,
Teazing, pleasing, cousin mine!
That she might the live-long day
Undermine the snuffer-tray,
Tickle still my hooked nose,
Startle me from calm repose
With her pretty persecution;
Undermine the snuffer-tray,
Tickle still my hooked nose,
Startle me from calm repose
With her pretty persecution;
Throw the tongs against my shins,
Run me through and through with pins,
Like a pierced cushion;
Run me through and through with pins,
Like a pierced cushion;
Would she only say she'd love me,
Darning-needles should not move me;
But, reclining back, I'd say,
"Dearest! there's the snuffer-tray;
Pinch, o pinch those legs of mine!
Darning-needles should not move me;
But, reclining back, I'd say,
"Dearest! there's the snuffer-tray;
Pinch, o pinch those legs of mine!
Cork me, cousin Caroline!"
TO A FORGET-ME-NOT
FOUND IN MY EMPORIUM OF LOVE-TOKENS.
Sweet flower, that with thy soft blue eye
Didst once look up in shady spot,
To whisper to the passer-by
Those tender words—Forget-me-not!
Didst once look up in shady spot,
To whisper to the passer-by
Those tender words—Forget-me-not!
Though withered now, thou art to me
The minister of gentle thought,—
And I could weep to gaze on thee,.
Love's faded pledge—Forget-me-not!
The minister of gentle thought,—
And I could weep to gaze on thee,.
Love's faded pledge—Forget-me-not!
Thou speak'st of hours when I was young,
And happiness arose unsought;
When she, the whispering woods among,
Gave me thy bloom—Forget-me-not!
And happiness arose unsought;
When she, the whispering woods among,
Gave me thy bloom—Forget-me-not!
That rapturous hour with that dear maid
From memory's page no time shall blot,
When, yielding to my kiss, she said,
"Oh, Theodore—Forget me not!"
From memory's page no time shall blot,
When, yielding to my kiss, she said,
"Oh, Theodore—Forget me not!"
Alas for love! alas for truth!
Alas for man's uncertain lot!
Alas for all the hopes of youth
That fade like thee—Forget-me-not!
Alas for man's uncertain lot!
Alas for all the hopes of youth
That fade like thee—Forget-me-not!
Alas for that one image fair,
With all my brightest dreams inwrought!
That walks beside me everywhere,
Still whispering—Forget me not!
With all my brightest dreams inwrought!
That walks beside me everywhere,
Still whispering—Forget me not!
Oh, Memory! thou art but a sigh
For friendships dead and loves forgot,
And many a cold and altered eye
That once did say—Forget me not!
For friendships dead and loves forgot,
And many a cold and altered eye
That once did say—Forget me not!
And I must bow me to thy laws,
For—odd although it may be thought—
I can't tell who the deuce it was
That gave me this Forget-me-not!
For—odd although it may be thought—
I can't tell who the deuce it was
That gave me this Forget-me-not!
Original Size
THE MISHAP
"Why art thou weeping, sister?
Why is thy cheek so pale?
Look up, dear Jane, and tell me
What is it thou dost ail?
Why is thy cheek so pale?
Look up, dear Jane, and tell me
What is it thou dost ail?
"I know thy will is froward,
Thy feelings warm and keen,
And that that Augustus Howard
For weeks has not been seen.
Thy feelings warm and keen,
And that that Augustus Howard
For weeks has not been seen.
"I know how much you loved him;
But I know thou dost not weep
For him;—for though his passion be,
His purse is noways deep.
But I know thou dost not weep
For him;—for though his passion be,
His purse is noways deep.
"Then tell me why those tear-drops?
What means this woeful mood?
Say, has the tax-collector
Been calling, and been rude?
What means this woeful mood?
Say, has the tax-collector
Been calling, and been rude?
"Or has that hateful grocer,
The slave! been here to-day?
Of course he had, by morrow's noon,
A heavy bill to pay!
The slave! been here to-day?
Of course he had, by morrow's noon,
A heavy bill to pay!
"Come, on thy brother's bosom
Unburden all thy woes;
Look up, look up, sweet sister;
Nay, sob not through thy nose."
Unburden all thy woes;
Look up, look up, sweet sister;
Nay, sob not through thy nose."
"Oh, John, 'tis not the grocer
For his account, although
How ever he is to be paid,
I really do not know.
For his account, although
How ever he is to be paid,
I really do not know.
"'Tis not the tax-collector;
Though by his fell command
They've seized our old paternal clock,
And new umbrella-stand!
Though by his fell command
They've seized our old paternal clock,
And new umbrella-stand!
"Nor that Augustus Howard,
Whom I despise almost,—
But the soot's come down the chimney, John,
And fairly spoiled the roast!"
Whom I despise almost,—
But the soot's come down the chimney, John,
And fairly spoiled the roast!"
COMFORT IN AFFLICTION
"Wherefore starts my bosom's lord?
Why this anguish in thine eye?
Oh, it seems as thy heart's chord
Had broken with that sigh!
Why this anguish in thine eye?
Oh, it seems as thy heart's chord
Had broken with that sigh!
"Rest thee, my dear lord, I pray,
Rest thee on my bosom now!
And let me wipe the dews away,
Are gathering on thy brow.
Rest thee on my bosom now!
And let me wipe the dews away,
Are gathering on thy brow.
"There, again! that fevered start!
What, love! husband! is thy pain?
There is a sorrow on thy heart,
A weight upon thy brain!
What, love! husband! is thy pain?
There is a sorrow on thy heart,
A weight upon thy brain!
"Nay, nay, that sickly smile can ne'er
Deceive affection's searching eye;
'Tis a wife's duty, love, to share
Her husband's agony.
Deceive affection's searching eye;
'Tis a wife's duty, love, to share
Her husband's agony.
"Since the dawn began to peep,
Have I lain with stifled breath;
Heard thee moaning in thy sleep,
As thou wert at grips with death.
Have I lain with stifled breath;
Heard thee moaning in thy sleep,
As thou wert at grips with death.
"Oh, what joy it was to see
My gentle lord once more awake!
Tell me, what is amiss with thee?
Speak, or my heart will break!"
My gentle lord once more awake!
Tell me, what is amiss with thee?
Speak, or my heart will break!"
"Mary, thou angel of my life,
Thou ever good and kind;
'Tis not, believe me, my dear wife,
The anguish of the mind!
Thou ever good and kind;
'Tis not, believe me, my dear wife,
The anguish of the mind!
"It is not in my bosom, dear,
No, nor my brain, in sooth;
But Mary, oh, I feel it here,
Here in my wisdom tooth!
No, nor my brain, in sooth;
But Mary, oh, I feel it here,
Here in my wisdom tooth!
"Then give,—oh, first best antidote,—
Sweet partner of my bed!
Give me thy flannel petticoat
To wrap around my head!"
Sweet partner of my bed!
Give me thy flannel petticoat
To wrap around my head!"
THE INVOCATION
"Brother, thou art very weary,
And thine eye is sunk and dim,
And thy neckcloth's tie is crumpled,
And thy collar out of trim;
There is dust upon thy visage,—
Think not, Charles, I would hurt ye,
When I say, that altogether
You appear extremely dirty.
And thine eye is sunk and dim,
And thy neckcloth's tie is crumpled,
And thy collar out of trim;
There is dust upon thy visage,—
Think not, Charles, I would hurt ye,
When I say, that altogether
You appear extremely dirty.
"Frown not, brother, now, but hie thee
To thy chamber's distant room;
Drown the odours of the ledger
With the lavender's perfume.
Brush the mud from off thy trousers,
O'er the china basin kneel,
Lave thy brows in water softened
With the soap of Old Castile.
To thy chamber's distant room;
Drown the odours of the ledger
With the lavender's perfume.
Brush the mud from off thy trousers,
O'er the china basin kneel,
Lave thy brows in water softened
With the soap of Old Castile.
"Smooth the locks that o'er thy forehead
'Now in loose disorder stray;
Pare thy nails, and from thy whiskers
Cut those ragged points away;
Let no more thy calculations
Thy bewildered brain beset;
Life has other hopes than Cocker's,
Other joys than tare and tret.
'Now in loose disorder stray;
Pare thy nails, and from thy whiskers
Cut those ragged points away;
Let no more thy calculations
Thy bewildered brain beset;
Life has other hopes than Cocker's,
Other joys than tare and tret.
"Haste thee, for I ordered dinner,
Waiting to the very last,
Twenty minutes after seven,
And 'tis now the quarter past.
'Tis a dinner which Lucullus
Would have wept with joy to see,
One, might wake the soul of Curtis
From death's drowsy atrophy.
Waiting to the very last,
Twenty minutes after seven,
And 'tis now the quarter past.
'Tis a dinner which Lucullus
Would have wept with joy to see,
One, might wake the soul of Curtis
From death's drowsy atrophy.
"There is soup of real turtle,
Turbot, and the dainty sole;
And the mottled row of lobsters
Blushes through the butter-bowl.
There the lordly haunch of mutton,
Tender as the mountain grass,
Waits to mix its ruddy juices
With the girdling caper-sauce.
Turbot, and the dainty sole;
And the mottled row of lobsters
Blushes through the butter-bowl.
There the lordly haunch of mutton,
Tender as the mountain grass,
Waits to mix its ruddy juices
With the girdling caper-sauce.
"There a stag, whose branching forehead
Spoke him monarch of the herds,
He whose flight was o'er the heather
Swift as through the air the bird's,
Yields for thee a dish of cutlets;
And the haunch that wont to dash
O'er the roaring mountain-torrent,
Smokes in most delicious hash.
Spoke him monarch of the herds,
He whose flight was o'er the heather
Swift as through the air the bird's,
Yields for thee a dish of cutlets;
And the haunch that wont to dash
O'er the roaring mountain-torrent,
Smokes in most delicious hash.
"There, besides, are amber jellies.
Floating like a golden dream;
Ginger from the far Bermudas,
Dishes of Italian pream;
And a princely apple-dumpling,
Which my own fair fingers wrought,
Shall unfold its nectared treasures
To thy lips all smoking hot.
Floating like a golden dream;
Ginger from the far Bermudas,
Dishes of Italian pream;
And a princely apple-dumpling,
Which my own fair fingers wrought,
Shall unfold its nectared treasures
To thy lips all smoking hot.
"Ha! I see thy brow is clearing,
Lustre flashes from thine eyes;
To thy lips I see the moisture
Of anticipation rise.
Hark! the dinner-bell is sounding!"
"Only wait one moment, Jane:
I'll be dressed, and down, before you
Can get up the iced champagne!"
Lustre flashes from thine eyes;
To thy lips I see the moisture
Of anticipation rise.
Hark! the dinner-bell is sounding!"
"Only wait one moment, Jane:
I'll be dressed, and down, before you
Can get up the iced champagne!"
THE HUSBAND'S PETITION
Come hither, my heart's darling,
Come, sit upon my knee,
And listen, while I whisper
A boon I ask of thee.
Come, sit upon my knee,
And listen, while I whisper
A boon I ask of thee.
You need not pull my whiskers
So amorously, my dove;
'Tis something quite apart from
The gentle cares of love.
So amorously, my dove;
'Tis something quite apart from
The gentle cares of love.
I feel a bitter craving—
A dark and deep desire,
That glows beneath my bosom
Like coals of kindled fire.
A dark and deep desire,
That glows beneath my bosom
Like coals of kindled fire.
The passion of the nightingale,
When singing to the rose,
Is feebler than the agony
That murders my repose!
When singing to the rose,
Is feebler than the agony
That murders my repose!
Nay, dearest! do not doubt me,
Though madly thus I speak—
I feel thy arms about me,
Thy tresses on my cheek:
Though madly thus I speak—
I feel thy arms about me,
Thy tresses on my cheek:
I know the sweet devotion
That links thy heart with mine,—
I know my soul's emotion
Is doubly felt by thine:
That links thy heart with mine,—
I know my soul's emotion
Is doubly felt by thine:
And deem not that a shadow
Hath fallen across my love:
No, sweet, my love is shadowless,
As yonder heaven above.
Hath fallen across my love:
No, sweet, my love is shadowless,
As yonder heaven above.
These little taper fingers—
Ah, Jane! how white they be!—
Can well supply the cruel want
That almost maddens me.
Ah, Jane! how white they be!—
Can well supply the cruel want
That almost maddens me.
Thou wilt not sure deny me
My first and fond request;
I pray thee, by the memory
Of all we cherish best—
My first and fond request;
I pray thee, by the memory
Of all we cherish best—
By all the dear remembrance
Of those delicious days,
When, hand in hand, we wandered
Along the summer braes;
Of those delicious days,
When, hand in hand, we wandered
Along the summer braes;
By all we felt, unspoken,
When 'neath the early moon,
We sat beside the rivulet,
In the leafy month of June;
When 'neath the early moon,
We sat beside the rivulet,
In the leafy month of June;
And by the broken whisper
That fell upon my ear,
More sweet than angel music,
When first I wooed thee, dear!
That fell upon my ear,
More sweet than angel music,
When first I wooed thee, dear!
By thy great vow which bound thee
For ever to my side,
And by the ring that made thee
My darling and my bride!
For ever to my side,
And by the ring that made thee
My darling and my bride!
Thou wilt not fail nor falter,
But bend thee to the task—
A BOILED SHEEP'S-HEAD ON SUNDAY Is all the boon I ask!
But bend thee to the task—
A BOILED SHEEP'S-HEAD ON SUNDAY Is all the boon I ask!
Original Size
Original Size
SONNET TO BRITAIN.
O Britain! O my country! Words like these
Have made thy name a terror and a fear
To all the nations. Witness Ebro's banks,
Assaÿe, Toulouse, Nivelle, and Waterloo,
Where the grim despot muttered—Sauve qui peut! And Ney fled darkling.—Silence in the ranks!
Have made thy name a terror and a fear
To all the nations. Witness Ebro's banks,
Assaÿe, Toulouse, Nivelle, and Waterloo,
Where the grim despot muttered—Sauve qui peut! And Ney fled darkling.—Silence in the ranks!
Inspired by these, amidst the iron crash
Of armies, in the centre of his troop
The soldier stands—unmovable, not rash—
Until the forces of the foeman droop;
Then knocks the Frenchman to eternal smash,
Pounding them into mummy. Shoulder, hoop!
Of armies, in the centre of his troop
The soldier stands—unmovable, not rash—
Until the forces of the foeman droop;
Then knocks the Frenchman to eternal smash,
Pounding them into mummy. Shoulder, hoop!