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The Book of Clever Beasts: Studies in Unnatural History

Chapter 13: CATALOGUE
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About This Book

A witty collector of natural anecdotes relocates to a rural cabin with his cat and keeps an observation ledger while recounting a series of animal sketches. Each chapter treats a different creature through humorous, anthropomorphic episodes that mix mock-scientific classification, imaginative field notes, and playful illustration. The pieces alternate between gentle satire of nature-writing and affectionate portraits of animal behavior, closing with an appendix and bibliographic acknowledgments that situate the lighthearted vignettes within contemporary natural-history reading.

CATALOGUE

Printed at a Logging Camp on Genuine Wood Pulp Paper.
  • A1 Photograph of Tom-Tom taken just before we went to the woods.
  • A2 Photograph of grandmother’s cabin in the clearing.
  • A3 Picture of Little Upsidaisi.
  • A4 Mainspring of my jewelled repeater.
  • A5 One of Tom-Tom’s boots.
  • A6 Umbrella with which I wrote messages in the sand.
  • A7 Straw from the broom, slit at one end.
  • A8 Cat egg, blown.
  • A9 Square of red blanket.
  • A10 Returned manuscript.
  • A11 The same.
  • A12 The same.
  • A13 Another one.
  • A14 Cigar box in which Little Upsidaisi slept. Notice tail slot.
  • A15 Morse Code, in my writing.
  • A16 Empty cyanide bottle.
  • A17 Postage stamp, such as is used for manuscripts (cancelled).
  • B1 Photograph of Porcupine Hill.
  • B2 Picture of the post-office.
  • B3 Porcupine quill.
  • B4 Goatsrue, dried.
  • B5 The empty flask.
  • B6 An unpaid bill.
  • B7 Broken link from chain filed by Jagg.
  • B8 Pen-and-ink sketch of Ab.
  • B9 Jagg’s hat.
  • B10 Photograph of Jagg’s headstone.
  • C1 Cotton, such as I put into my ears.
  • C2 Copy of The Ladies’ Own (much worn, but still legible).
  • C3 The prescription.
  • C4 Copy of The Girlies’ Close Companion.
  • C5 Literary note from New York Times, date appended.
  • C6 Bear trap, half size.
  • C7 Geyser House, from hotel advertisement.
  • C8 Slab of near-food, motto, “Excelsior.”
  • C9 Astronomical charts of Ursa Major and Ursa Minor.
  • C10 Pen-and-ink sketch of Snoof and Snooflet, star-gazing.
  • C11 Story of Goldenhair and the Three Bears, type-written.
  • C12 Bottle of water from the sulphur spring, where Growler bathed.
  • C13 Comb, such as is used by Bears.
  • C14 Miranda’s china mug.
  • C15 My clothes, which Growler wore.
  • C16 Miranda’s croquet mallet.
  • D1 Receipted hotel William (framed).
  • D2 Enlarged portrait of Kitchi-Kitchi.
  • D3 A home-made biscuit.
  • D4 Blue Jay feather.
  • D5 Music of Squirrel duet, melody only.
  • D6 Squirrel egg, blown.
  • D7 Boat from Squirrel fleet.
  • E1 Picture of Jim Crow.
  • E2 Photograph of broken window.
  • E3 Section of crowbar.
  • E4 Crocus bulb.
  • E5 Eye of potato, in alcohol.
  • E6 Fragments of the clay cast.
  • E7 Jim’s crutch.
  • E8 Cornet half full of molasses. Guests may blow it free.
  • E9 Spectacle frames.
  • E10 Pressed burdock leaf.
  • E11 Poe’s poem, The Raven (Arnheim edition).
  • E12 The cordial glass.
  • E13 My diamond pin (in glass case).
  • E14 Section of Johnny-cake, main formation.
  • E15 Photograph of perch.
  • E16 Picture of me, showing crow’s feet around eyes.
  • E17 Milk pan.
  • E18 Malted milk bottle.
  • F1 Pen drawing of Uncle Antonio’s organ.
  • F2 Score of Il Trovatore.
  • F3 Pressed foxglove.
  • F4 Pen sketch of Hoop-La, from memory.
  • F5 Pen drawing of imaginary encounter between Uncle and a cross country tramp.
  • F6 Bottle of capers.
  • F7 Sketch, from memory, of the quilt pattern.
  • F8 A new cent, 1904 mintage.
  • F9 Recipe for spaghetti, written in gold, framed, and chained to the counter. Guests may obtain permission to copy at cashier’s desk.
  • F10 Photograph of horse in bridle chamber.
  • F11 Impressionist picture of the rescue of Jocko.
  • G1 My concertina, in picture in catalogue.
  • G2 Score of Bedelia.
  • G3 Copy of Uncle Remus.
  • G4 Snake discovered by Chee-Wee.
  • G5 Brier Rose (my writing).
  • G6 Toothpick.
  • G7 Bottle of sand.
  • G8 Pen sketch of Jenny drawing map.
  • G9 Better picture of same thing, Wild Animals I Have Known, page 122.
  • G10 Minnow, stuffed.
  • G11 Curry-comb, used by Rabbits.
  • G12 Box of Squirrel bark.
  • G13 Drawing of Jenny’s blanket.
  • G14 Square of Brussels carpet with nap gone.
  • G15 Working drawing of Rabbit’s nose.
  • G16 Bottle of Hare tonic (sealed).
  • G17 Rabbit form.
  • G18 Drawing from memory of Jenny’s school.
  • G19 My overalls.
  • G20 Drawing of Rabbit entertainment.
  • G21 Superior picture of same thing, Ways of Wood Folk, page 50.
  • G22 Bottle of beer made from Frog hops (open).
  • H1 Remnants of grandmother’s Mink muff.
  • H2 Diagram of Owl’s nest.
  • H3 Working drawing of Owl’s stomach.
  • H4 Crystals of hydrochloric acid.
  • H5 Undigested securities.
  • H6 The same.
  • H7 More.
  • H8 More.
  • H9 The same.
  • H10 Another one.
  • H11 Picture of beach.
  • H12 Picture of Owl.
  • H13 Pen drawing of Owl and Duck, flirting.
  • H14 Owl file, petrified.
  • H15 Mussel, in alcohol.
  • H16 Skin of poor pussy.
  • H17 Necklace and bangle.
  • H18 The beef stake.
  • H19 Blue pencil.
  • H20 Empty brandy bottle.
  • H21 Alarm clock.
  • H22 Page from observation ledger, showing Hoot-Mon’s tracks.
  • H23 The rug.
  • H24 Photograph of Hoot-Mon, life size.
  • H25 Sheet of foolscap.
  • H26 Pattern of Colonial hat.
  • H27 Hoot-Mon’s shawl.
  • H28 Rabbit’s tail in alcohol. (This exhibit has the words, “A tragedy,” lettered on the bottle, being the end of a wild animal.)