THE ORDEAL
Historian (writing)—“The Yanko-Spanko war was brief, but very destructive. In the two or three months that it lasted the Americans had more than three thousand soldiers and a half-dozen sailors killed by the Spaniards and—”
Clio—Tut-tut! no romancing; less than three hundred were killed.
H. (writing)—“Their own officers. Armed with repeating incompetences, the latter were indeed formidable.”
Did you speak?
C.—No.
H. (writing)—“An effort was made to hold the commanding officers of the expeditionary forces responsible for the mortality among their troops, but ended in failure, for it could not be determined who was in command.”
Clio, dear, who was in command at Santiago?
C.—First Linares, then Toral.
H.—I mean, who commanded the Americans.
C.—I don’t know.
H.—What are you the Muse of History for if you don’t know such a thing as that?
C.—Ask me who really built the Great Pyramid, and why. Ask me who wrote the “Junius” letters. Ask me who was the Man in the Iron Mask. Ask me what Browning meant. Ask me anything in reason, but don’t ask me who commanded the American army in the Yanko-Spanko war. Settle it by turning a coin. You’ll be as likely to be right as wrong, and in History that will give good results. The historian who in the long run tells the truth half the time is a great historian.
H. (turning coin)—Head, Miles; tail, Shafter.
C.—Well?
H.—It is a smooth coin! (Writes) “The army before Santiago had no commander.”