TWO FAVORITES
Wood, a Medicated Warrior. Miles, a Soldier. Satan, a
Statesman. Chorus of Citizens.
MILES (to Wood):
Sir, I have ventured to observe with what
I hope is a becoming modesty, that not
In vain have been your sacrifices, nor
Quite thrown away your aptitude for war.
Service and genius—these are things that count,
With (if you’re cavalry) the skill to mount.
Somewhat, too, doubtless, it promotes your gains
In rank and honors to possess the brains
To know enough to go in when it rains.
WOOD:
Some know enough to note the fine effect
Of sunshine on their uniform.
MILES:
Correct:
I’ve keener joy to see the daybeam smite
My gay attire than you to see it light
Your military record. Let’s get through—
I’d rather bandy swords than words with you.
But you’re a man of peace—a doctor, sir;
To save life, not to take it, you prefer;
And in the Spanish War your taste was shown
In saving with consummate skill your own.
By that you earned, according to my notion,
More leather medals, not so much promotion.
CHORUS OF CITIZENS:
By that he earned, according to our notion,
More leather medals, not so much promotion.
MILES:
When you’re a general in chief command,
May peace dwell ever in this happy land!
CHORUS OF CITIZENS:
When he’s a general in chief command,
May peace dwell ever in this happy land!
WOOD:
From Santiago’s veins I drained the fever.
MILES:
When shown by Lawton how to make it leave her.
WOOD:
I washed Havana.
MILES:
Yes, you made the mud flow
Right lively when you had been taught by Ludlow.
WOOD:
My service——
MILES:
’Twas of silver, was it not?—
Given you by gamblers for the Lord knows what!
Well, take your honors—they’re well earned, I think,
By working for yourself with printer’s ink
And feats of fawning—all the arts, in fine,
Whereby our peace-time heroes rise and shine.
Rather than witness more of your intrigues
I’ll mount a bronco and ride thirty leagues!
WOOD:
Well, two Administrations, you’ll agree,
I have been served and honored by.
SATAN:
Dear me,
I’ve had the favor and support of three.