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The Collected Writings of Dougal Graham, "Skellat" Bellman of Glasgow, Vol. 2 of 2 cover

The Collected Writings of Dougal Graham, "Skellat" Bellman of Glasgow, Vol. 2 of 2

Chapter 18: Preface.
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About This Book

A volume gathers short chapbook tales, songs, ballads, and comic sketches rendered in Scots vernacular that depict courtships, domestic quarrels, funerals, practical jokes, and mock-sermons. Its pieces alternate dialogue-driven episodes and lyrical or satirical interludes, showcasing local customs, superstitions, gossip, and the foibles of everyday folk. Interspersed are parodic catechisms, epitaphs, and humorous wills, with a glossary to aid readers; the tone ranges from bawdy humour to affectionate caricature of small‑town life.

THE HISTORY OF JOHN CHEAP THE CHAPMAN.


Preface.

John Cheap the chapman, was a very comical short thick fellow, with a broad face and a long nose; both lame and lazy, and something leacherous among the lasses: he chused rather to sit idle than work at any time, as he was a hater of hard labour. No man needed to offer him cheese and bread after he curst he would not have it; for he would blush at bread and milk, when hungry, as a beggar doth at a babee. He got the name of John Cheap the chapman, by his selling 20 needles for a penny, and twa leather laces for a farthing. He swore no oaths but one, which was, Let me never sin.

He used no imprecations, But let me never cheat nor be cheated, but rather cheat, &c.

He gave bad counsel to none but children, to burn the bonecombs, that their mother might buy another when he came again.

He never fought with any but dogs,[71] and the good wives daughters in their daffing, and that’s not dangerous.