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The Girl on the Boat

Chapter 5: ONE MOMENT!
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About This Book

The plot follows a young man who falls for an idealistic young woman he meets aboard an Atlantic liner; she seeks a paragon of chivalry and he briefly appears to fit the role through a fortunate misunderstanding but cannot sustain the part. A parrot-faced rival pursues the same woman, and both men trail her to a Hampshire country house where further schemes, blunders, and social embarrassments escalate into farcical episodes. The narrative blends romantic misadventure with gentle satire of upper-class manners, relying on comic timing, awkward situations, and a cast of eccentric relatives to generate humorous complications before a final reckoning.

ONE MOMENT!

Before my friend Mr. Jenkins—wait a minute, Herbert—before my friend Mr. Jenkins formally throws this book open to the public, I should like to say a few words. You, sir, and you, and you at the back, if you will kindly restrain your impatience.... There is no need to jostle. There will be copies for all. Thank you. I shall not detain you long.

I wish to clear myself of a possible charge of plagiarism. You smile. Ah! but you don’t know. You don’t realise how careful even a splendid fellow like myself has to be. You wouldn’t have me go down to posterity as Pelham the Pincher, would you? No! Very well, then. By the time this volume is in the hands of the customers, everybody will, of course, have read Mr. J. Storer Clouston’s “The Lunatic at Large Again.” (Those who are chumps enough to miss it deserve no consideration.) Well, both the hero of “The Lunatic” and my “Sam Marlowe” try to get out of a tight corner by hiding in a suit of armour in the hall of a country-house. Looks fishy, yes? And yet I call on Heaven to witness that I am innocent, innocent. And, if the word of Northumberland Avenue Wodehouse is not sufficient, let me point out that this story and Mr. Clouston’s appeared simultaneously in serial form in their respective magazines. This proves, I think, that at these cross-roads, at any rate, there has been no dirty work. All right, Herb., you can let ’em in now.

P. G. WODEHOUSE.

Constitutional Club,
    Northumberland Avenue.


Contents

WHAT THIS STORY IS ABOUT
ONE MOMENT!

I. A DISTURBING MORNING
II. GALLANT RESCUE BY WELL-DRESSED YOUNG MAN
III. SAM PAVES THE WAY
IV. SAM CLICKS
V. PERSECUTION OF EUSTACE
VI. SCENE AT A SHIP’S CONCERT
VII. SUNDERED HEARTS
VIII. SIR MALLABY OFFERS A SUGGESTION
IX. ROUGH WORK AT A DINNER TABLE
X. TROUBLE AT WINDLES
XI. MR. BENNETT HAS A BAD NIGHT
XII. THE LURID PAST OF JOHN PETERS
XIII. SHOCKS ALL ROUND
XIV. STRONG REMARKS BY A FATHER
XV. DRAMA AT A COUNTRY HOUSE
XVI. WEBSTER, FRIEND IN NEED
XVII. A CROWDED NIGHT