CONTENTS
| Page | |
| Two Letters and a Dedication | 5 |
| Introduction | 17 |
| Breaking Into the Writing Game | 27 |
| Settling the Corset Problem of This Country | 39 |
| How to Tell a Butler, And Other Etiquette | 47 |
| Defending My Soup Plate Position | 57 |
| Helping the Girls With Their Income Taxes | 69 |
| The Greatest Document in American Literature | 77 |
| Prospectus for “The Remodeled Chewing Gum Corporation” | 87 |
| Inside Stuff on the Total Eclipse | 99 |
| It’s Time Somebody Said a Word for California | 111 |
| Promoting the Oceanless One-Piece Suit | 121 |
| Warning to Jokers: Lay Off the Prince | 131 |
| Spring Is Here, With Poems and Bath Tubs | 141 |
| My Ford and Other Political Self-Starters | 151 |
| Wilson Could Laugh at a Joke on Himself | 159 |
| A Job With the James Family | 171 |
| Let’s Treat Our Presidents Like Human Beings | 181 |
| What With Fruit Juice and Consomme, It Was a Wild Party | 193 |
| What We Need Is More Fred Stones | 203 |
| One Oil Lawyer Per Barrel | 217 |
| Another Confession in the Oil Scandal | 227 |
| The Whole Truth and Nothing But the Truth | 237 |
| Well, Who Is Prunes? | 249 |
| Politics Getting Ready to Jell | 261 |
| Two Long-Lost Friends Found at Last | 269 |
| They Nominated Everybody But The Four Horsemen | 279 |
| In the Midst of a 7-Year Hitch | 287 |
| “Will Rogers, Jr.” Reports the Convention For His Father, Worn Out By Long Service | 297 |
| Roping a Critic | 305 |
| “The World Tomorrow,” After the Manner of Great Journalists[A] | 313 |
| Settling the Affairs of the World in My Own Way | 323 |
| A Skinny Dakota Kid Who Made Good | 333 |
| Taking the Cure, By the Shores of Cat Creek | 345 |
FOOTNOTES:
[A] With apologies to Arthur Brisbane.