III
[Before the Pleasure Gardens. Enter AVANTI, KOSHALA, KANCHI, and other KINGS]
AVANTI.
Will the King of this place not receive us?
KANCHI.
What manner of governing a country is this? The King is having a festival in a
forest, where even the meanest and commonest people can have easy access!
KOSHALA.
We ought to have had a separate place set apart and ready for our reception.
KANCHI.
If he has not prepared such a place yet, we shall compel him to have one
erected for us.
KOSHALA.
All this makes one naturally suspect if these people have really got any King
at all—it looks as if an unfounded rumour has led us astray.
AVANTI.
It may be so with regard to the King, but the Queen Sudarshana of this place
isn’t at all an unfounded rumour.
KOSHALA.
It is only for her sake that I have cared to come at all. I don’t mind
omitting to see one who never makes himself visible, but it would be a stupid
Inistake if we were to go away without a sight of one who is eminently worth a
visit.
KANCHI.
Let us make some definite plan, then.
AVANTI.
A plan is an excellent thing, so long as you are not yourself entangled in it.
KANCHI.
Hang it, who are these vermin swarming this way? Here! who are you?
[Enter GRANDFATHER and the boys]
GRANDFATHER.
We are the Jolly Band of Have-Nothings.
AVANTI.
The introduction was superfluous. But you will take yourselves away a little
further and leave us in peace.
GRANDFATHER.
We never suffer from a want of space: we can afford to give you as wide a berth
as you like. What little suffices for us is never the bone of contention
between any rival claimants. Is not that so, my little friends? [They
sing.]
SONG.
We have nothing, indeed we have nothing at all!
We
sing merrily fol de rol de rol!
Some build high walls of their
houses
On the bog of the sands of gold.
We stand
before them and sing
Fol de rol de
rol.
Pickpockets hover about us
And honour us with
covetous glances.
We shake our empty pockets and
sing
Fol de rol de rol.
When death,
the old hag, steals to our doors
We snap our fingers at
her face,
And we sing in a chorus with gay
flourishes
Fol de rol de rol.
KANCHI.
Look over there, Koshala, who are those coming this way? A pantomime? Somebody
is out masquerading as a King.
KOSHALA.
The King of this place may tolerate all this tomfoolery, but we won’t.
AVANTI.
He is perhaps some rural chief.
[Enter GUARDS on foot]
KANCHI.
What country does your King come from?
First Soldier.
He is the King of this country. He is going to command the festivities.
[They go out.]
KOSHALA.
What! The King of this country come out for the festivities!
AVANTI.
Indeed! We shall then have to return with a sight of him only—leaving the
delectable Queen unseen.
KANCHI.
Do you really think that fellow spoke the truth? Anybody can pass himself off
as the King of this kingless country. Can you not see that the man looks like a
dressed-up King—much too over-dressed?
AVANTI.
But he looks handsome—his appearance is not without a certain pleasing
attractiveness.
KANCHI.
He may be pleasing to your eye, but if you look at him closely enough there can
be no mistaking him . You will see how I expose him before you all.
[Enter the trumped-up “KING.”]
“KING”.
Welcome, princes, to our kingdom! I trust your reception has been properly
looked after by my officials?
KINGs.
[with feigned courtesy] Oh yes—nothing was lacking in the
reception.
KANCHI.
If there was any shortcoming at all, it has been made up by the honour of our
sight of your Majesty.
“KING”.
We do not show ourselves to the general public, but your great devotion and
loyalty to us has made it a pleasure for us not to deny ourselves to you.
KANCHI.
It is truly hard for us, your Majesty, to bear the weight of your gracious
favours.
“KING”.
We are afraid we shall not be able to stop here long.
KANCHI.
I have thought so, already: you do not quite look up to it.
“KING”.
In the meantime if you have any favours to ask of us
KANCHI.
We have: but we would like to speak a little more in private.
“KING”.
[to his attendants] Retire a little from our presence. (They retire.)
Now you can express your desires without any reserve.
KANCHI.
There will be no reserve on our part—our only fear is that you might
think restraint necessary for yourself.
“KING”.
Oh no, you need have no scruples on that score.
KANCHI.
Come, then, do us honage by placing your head on the ground before us.
“KING”.
It seems my servants have distributed the Varuni spirits too liberally in the
reception camps.
KANCHI.
False pretender, it is you who are suffering from an overdose of arrogant
spirits. Your head will soon kiss the dust.
“KING”.
Princes, these heavy jokes are not worthy of a king.
KANCHI.
Those who will jest properly with you are near at hand. General!
“KING”.
No more, I entreat you. I can see plainly I owe homage to you all. The head is
bowing down of itself—there is no need for the application of any sharp
methods to lay it low. So here I do my obeisance to you all. If you kindly
allow me to escape I shall not inflict my presence long on you.
KANCHI.
Why should you escape? We will make you king of this place—let us carry
our joke to its legitimate finish. Have you got any following?
“KING”.
I have. Every one who sees me in the streets flocks after me. When I had a
meagre retinue at first every one regarded me with suspicion, but now with the
increasing crowd their doubts are waning and dissolving. The crowd is being
hypnotised by its own magnitude. I have not got to do anything now.
KANCHI.
That’s excellent! From this moment we all promise to help and stand by
you. But you will have to do us one service in return.
“KING”.
Your commands and the crown you are putting on my head will be equally binding
and sacred to me.
KANCHI.
At present we want nothing more than a sight of the Queen Sudarshana. You will
have to see to this.
“KING”.
I shall spare no pains for that.
KANCHI.
We cannot put much faith on your pains—you will be solely directed by our
instructions. But now you can go and join the festivities in the royal arbour
with all possible splendour and magnificence.[They go out.]
[Enter GRANDFATHER and a band of people]
FIRST CITIZEN.
Grandfather, I cannot help saying—yes, and repeating it five hundred
times—that our King is a perfect fraud.
GRANDFATHER.
Why only five hundred times? There is no need to practise such heroic
self-control—you can say it five thousand times if that adds to your
pleasure.
SECOND CITIZEN.
But you cannot keep up a dead lie forever.
GRANDFATHER.
It has made me alive, my friend.
THIRD CITIZEN.
We shall proclaim to the whole world that our King is a lie, the merest and
emptiest shadow!
FIRST CITIZEN.
We shall all shout from our housetops that we have no King—let him do
whatever he likes if he exists.
GRANDFATHER.
He will do nothing at all.
SECOND CITIZEN.
My son died untimely at twenty-five of raging fever in seven days. Could such a
calamity befall me under the rule of a virtuous King?
GRANDFATHER.
But you still have got two sons left: while I have lost all my five children
one after another.
THIRD CITIZEN.
What do you say now?
GRANDFATHER.
What then? Shall I lose my King too because I have lost my children?
Don’t take me for such a big fool as that.
FIRST CITIZEN.
It is a fine thing to argue whether there is a King or not when one is simply
starving for want of food! Will the King save us?
GRANDFATHER.
Brother, you are right. But why not find the King who owns all the food? You
certainly will not find by your wailings at home.
SECOND CITIZEN.
Look at the justice of our King! That Bhadrasen—you know what a touching
sight he is when he is speaking of his King—the sentimental idiot! He is
reduced to such a state of penury that even the bats that infest his house find
it a too uncomfortable place.
GRANDFATHER.
Why, look at me! I am toiling and slaving night and day for my King, but I have
not yet received so much as a brass farthing for my pains.
THIRD CITIZEN.
Now, what do you think of that?
GRANDFATHER.
What should I think? Does any one reward his friends? Go, my friends, and say
if you like that our King exists nowhere. That is also a part of our ceremony
in celebrating this festival.