(From the Hypnotic Gazette, January 1, A. D. 2203.)
Workmen employed on the mesmeric dredge near what was in old times the bed of the Harlem River discovered yesterday a leaden box in which was the following manuscript, which gives us a vivid idea of the crude condition of the drama toward the close of the nineteenth century:
“FUN ON THE ROOF.”
Farce Comedy in Three Acts.
Act I.
Scene. A garden with practicable gate R. U. E.
Sparkle McIntyre (entering through gate). Well, this is a pretty state of affairs! Rosanna Harefoot lived only for me until that theatrical troupe came to town; but now she’s so stuck on singing and dancing and letting those actor men make love to her that I can’t get a moment with her. Hello! here comes the whole company. I guess they’re going to rehearse here. I’ll hide behind this tree and watch them do their acts.
Enter company of Players.
First Player. Well, this is a hot day; but while we’re trying to keep cool Miss Kitty Socks will sing “Under the Daisies.”
(Specialties by the entire company.)
First Player. Well, we’d better hurry away down the street, or else we’ll be late.
[Exeunt Omnes.
Sparkle McIntyre (emerging from behind tree). That looks easy enough. I guess I’ll see what I can do myself.
(Specialties.)
First Player (entering with company). Now that rehearsal is over, we’ll have a little fun for a few moments.
Sparkle (aside). Rosanna will be mine yet.
(Grand Finale.)
Curtain.
Act II.
Scene. Parlor of Sparkle McIntyre’s house; Sparkle discovered seated at table with brilliant dressing-gown on.
Sparkle. I invited all that theatrical company to spend the evening with me; but I’m afraid they won’t come. I just wanted to surprise them with that new song and dance of mine. Ah! here they come now.
Enter Theatrical Company.
First Player. We are a little late, Mr. McIntyre, but the fact is I had to go to the steamer to meet some friends of mine who were coming over to try their luck in glorious America; and as they’re all perfect ladies and gentlemen, I took the liberty of bringing them along. Allow me to introduce them to you: Mr. and Mrs. Lorenzo Sirocco and the Miss Siroccos from the Royal Alhambra in Rooshy.
Sparkle. Ladies and gentlemen, I’m pleased to meet you; and now, if you’ll favor us with an act, we’ll be greatly obliged.
(Specialties by everybody, and Finale.)
Curtain.
Act III.
Scene. Same as Act I.
Enter Rosanna.
Rosanna. This is the very garden where I used to meet my own true Sparkle. In fact, it’s right here that he used to spark me. Well, while I’m feeling so downhearted, I’ll do a little dance just to cheer myself up.
(Specialties by Rosanna.)
Sparkle (entering). What! you here. Rosanna? Then you must love me.
Rosanna. Yes, Sparkle, I do.
Sparkle (embracing her). Then, darling, we will be married this very day. Call the neighbors all in, and we will sing, dance, and be merry.
Enter Company.
(Specialties.)
Curtain.