CURTAIN
COUNTESS MIZZIE
OR
THE FAMILY REUNION
(Komtesse Mizzi oder der Familientag)
A COMEDY IN ONE ACT
1907
PERSONS
| Count Arpad Pazmandy | ||
| Mizzie | } | His daughter |
| Prince Egon Ravenstein | ||
| Lolo Langhuber | ||
| Philip | ||
| Professor Windhofer | ||
| Wasner | ||
| The Gardener | ||
| The Valet |
COUNTESS MIZZIE
The garden of Count Arpad. In the background, tall iron fence. Near the middle of this, but a little more to the right, there is a gate. In the foreground, at the left, appears the façade of the two-storied villa, which used to be an imperial hunting lodge about 180 years ago and was remodeled about thirty years ago. A narrow terrace runs along the main floor, which is raised above the ground. Three wide stairs lead from the terrace down to the garden. French doors, which are standing open, lead from the terrace into the drawing-room. The windows of the upper floor are of ordinary design. Above that floor appears a small balcony, to which access is had through a dormer window. This balcony holds a profusion of flowering plants. A garden seat, a small table and an armchair stand under a tree at the right, in the foreground.
COUNT (enters from the right; he is an elderly man with gray mustaches, but must still be counted decidedly good-looking; his bearing and manners indicate the retired officer; he wears a riding suit and carries a crop)
VALET (entering behind the Count)
At what time does Your Grace desire to have dinner to-day?
COUNT (who speaks with the laconism affected by his former colleagues, and who, at that particular moment, is engaged in lighting a huge cigar) At two.
VALET
And when is the carriage to be ready, Your Grace?
MIZZIE1 (appearing on the balcony with a palette and a bunch of brushes in one hand, calls down to her father) Good morning, papa.
COUNT
Morning, Mizzie.
MIZZIE
You left me all alone for breakfast again, papa. Where have you been anyhow?
COUNT
Most everywhere. Rode out by way of Mauer and Rodaun.2 Perfectly splendid day. And what are you doing? At work already? Is there anything new to be seen soon?
MIZZIE
Yes, indeed, papa. Nothing but flowers though, as usual.
COUNT
Isn't the professor coming to see you to-day?
MIZZIE
Yes, but not until one.
COUNT
Well, don't let me interrupt you.
MIZZIE (throws a kiss to him and disappears from the balcony)
COUNT (to the valet)
What are you waiting for? Oh, the carriage. I'm not going out again to-day. Joseph can take a holiday. Or wait a moment. (He calls up to the balcony) Say, Mizzie....
MIZZIE (reappears on the balcony)
COUNT
Sorry to disturb you again. Do you think you'll want the carriage to-day?
MIZZIE
No, thank you, papa. I can think of nothing.... No, thanks. (She disappears again)
COUNT
So Joseph can do what he pleases this afternoon. That's—oh, see that Franz gives the nag a good rubbing down. We got a little excited this morning—both of us.
VALET (goes out)
COUNT (sits down on the garden seat, picks up a newspaper from the table and begins to read)
GARDENER (enters)
Good morning, Your Grace.
COUNT
Morning, Peter. What's up?
GARDENER
With Your Grace's permission, I have just cut the tea roses.
COUNT
Why all that lot?
GARDENER
The bush is full up. It ain't wise, Your Grace, to leave 'em on the stem much longer. If maybe Your Grace could find some use....
COUNT
Haven't got any. Why do you stand there looking at me? I'm not going to the city. I won't need any flowers. Why don't you put them in some of those vases and things that are standing about in there? Quite the fashion nowadays, isn't it? (He takes the bunch of flowers from the gardener and inhales their fragrance while he seems to be pondering something) Wasn't that a carriage that stopped here?
GARDENER
That's His Highness' pair of blacks. I know 'em by their step.
COUNT
Thanks very much then. (He hands back the roses)
PRINCE (comes in by the gate)
COUNT (goes to meet him)
GARDENER
Good morning, Your Highness.
PRINCE
Hello, Peter.
GARDENER (goes out toward the right)
PRINCE (wears a light-colored Summer suit; is fifty-five, but doesn't look it; tall and slender; his manner of speech suggests the diplomat, who is as much at home in French as in his native tongue)
COUNT
Delighted, old chap. How goes it?
PRINCE
Thanks. Splendid day.
COUNT (offers him one of his gigantic cigars)
PRINCE
No, thank you, not before lunch. Only one of my own cigarettes, if you permit. (He takes a cigarette from his case and lights it)
COUNT
So you've found time to drop in at last. Do you know how long you haven't been here? Three weeks.
PRINCE (glancing toward the balcony)
Really that long?
COUNT
What is it that makes you so scarce?
PRINCE
You mustn't mind. But you are right, of course. And even to-day I come only to say good-by.
COUNT
What—good-by?
PRINCE
I shall be off to-morrow.
COUNT
You're going away? Where?
PRINCE
The sea shore. And you—have you made any plans yet?
COUNT
I haven't given a thought to it yet—this year.
PRINCE
Well, of course, it's wonderful right here—with your enormous park. But you have to go somewhere later in the Summer?
COUNT
Don't know yet. But it's all one.
PRINCE
What's wrong now?
COUNT
Oh, my dear old friend, it's going downhill.
PRINCE
How? That's a funny way of talking, Arpad. What do you mean by downhill?
COUNT
One grows old, Egon.
PRINCE
Yes, and gets accustomed to it.
COUNT
What do you know about it—you who are five years younger?
PRINCE
Six almost. But at fifty-five the springtime of life is pretty well over. Well—one gets resigned to it.
COUNT
You have always been something of a philosopher, old chap.
PRINCE
Anyhow, I can't see what's the matter with you. You look fine. (Seats himself; frequently during this scene he glances up at the balcony; pause)
COUNT (with sudden decision)
Have you heard the latest? She's going to marry.
PRINCE
Who's going to marry?
COUNT
Do you have to ask? Can't you guess?
PRINCE
Oh, I see. Thought it might be Mizzie. And that would also.... So Lolo is going to marry.
COUNT
She is.
PRINCE
But that's hardly the "latest."
COUNT
Why not?
PRINCE
It's what she has promised, or threatened, or whatever you choose to call it, these last three years.
COUNT
Three, you say? May just as well say ten. Or eighteen. Yes, indeed. In fact, since the very start of this affair between her and me. It has always been a fixed idea with her. "If ever a decent man asks me to marry him, I'll get off the stage stante pede." It was almost the first thing she told me. You have heard it yourself a couple of times. And now he's come—the one she has been waiting for—and she's to get married.
PRINCE
Hope he's decent at least.
COUNT
Yes, you're very witty! But is that your only way of showing sympathy in a serious moment like this?
PRINCE
Now! (He puts his hand on the Count's arm)
COUNT
Well, I assure you, it's a serious moment. It's no small matter when you have lived twenty years with somebody—in a near-marital state; when you have been spending your best years with her, and really shared her joys and sorrows—until you have come to think at last, that it's never going to end—and then she comes to you one fine day and says: "God bless you, dear, but I'm going to get wedded on the sixteenth...." Oh, damn the whole story! (He gets up and begins to walk about) And I can't blame her even. Because I understand perfectly. So what can you do about it?
PRINCE
You've always been much too kind, Arpad.
COUNT
Nothing kind about it. Why shouldn't I understand? The clock has struck thirty-eight for her. And she has said adieu to her profession. So that anybody can sympathize with her feeling that there is no fun to go on as a ballet dancer retired on half pay and mistress on active service to Count Pazmandy, who'll be nothing but an old fool either, as time runs along. Of course, I have been prepared for it. And I haven't blamed her a bit—'pon my soul!
PRINCE
So you have parted as perfect friends?
COUNT
Certainly. In fact, our leave-taking was quite jolly. 'Pon my soul, I never suspected at first how tough it would prove. It's only by degrees it has come home to me. And that's quite a remarkable story, I must say....
PRINCE
What's remarkable about it?
COUNT
I suppose I had better tell you all about it. On my way home that last time—one night last week—I had a feeling all of a sudden—I don't know how to express it ... tremendously relieved, that's what I felt. Now you are a free man, I said to myself. Don't have to drive to Mayerhof Street3 every night God grants you, merely to dine and chatter with Lolo, or just sit there listening to her. Had come to be pretty boresome at times, you know. And then the drive home in the middle of the night, and, on top of it, to be called to account when you happened to be dining with a friend in the Casino or taking your daughter to the opera or a theater. To cut it short—I was in high feather going home that night. My head was full of plans already.... No, nothing of the kind you have in mind! But plans for traveling, as I have long wanted to do—to Africa, or India, like a free man.... That is, I should have brought my little girl along, of course.... Yes, you may well laugh at my calling her a little girl still.
PRINCE
Nothing of the kind. Mizzie looks exactly like a young girl. Like quite a young one. Especially in that Florentine straw hat she was wearing a while ago.
COUNT
Like a young girl, you say! And yet she's exactly of an age with Lolo. You know, of course! Yes, we're growing old, Egon. Every one of us. Oh, yes.... And lonely. But really, I didn't notice it to begin with. It was only by degrees it got hold of me. The first days after that farewell feast were not so very bad. But the day before yesterday, and yesterday, as the time approached when I used to start for Mayerhof Street.... And when Peter brought in those roses a moment ago—for Lolo, of course—why, then it seemed pretty plain to me that I had become a widower for the second time in my life. Yes, my dear fellow. And this time forever. Now comes the loneliness. It has come already.
PRINCE
But that's nonsense—loneliness!
COUNT
Pardon me, but you can't understand. Your way of living has been so different from mine. You have not let yourself be dragged into anything new since your poor wife died ten years ago. Into nothing of a serious nature, I mean. And besides, you have a profession, in a sense.
PRINCE
Have I?
COUNT
Well, as a member of the Upper House.
PRINCE
Oh, I see.
COUNT
And twice you have almost been put into the cabinet.
PRINCE
Yes, almost....
COUNT
Who knows? Perhaps you will break in some time. And I'm all done. Had myself retired three years ago in the bargain—like a fool.
PRINCE (with a smile)
That's why you are a free man now. Perfectly free. With the world open before you.
COUNT
And no desire to do a thing, old man. That's the whole story. Since that time I haven't gone to the Casino even. Do you know what I have been doing the last few nights? I have sat under that tree with Mizzie—playing domino.
PRINCE
Well, don't you see? That's not to be lonely. When you have a daughter, and particularly such a sensible one, with whom you have always got on so well.... What does she say about your staying at home nights anyhow?
COUNT
Nothing. Besides, it has happened before, quite frequently. She says nothing at all. And what could she say? It seems to me she has never noticed anything. Do you think she can have known about Lolo?
PRINCE (laughing)
Man alive!
COUNT
Of course. Yes, I know. Of course, she must have known. But then, I was still almost a young man when her mother died. I hope it hasn't hurt her feelings.
PRINCE
No, that wouldn't. (Casually) But being left so much alone may have troubled her at times, I should think.
COUNT
Has she complained of me? There's no reason why you shouldn't tell me.
PRINCE
I am not in her confidence. She has never complained to me. And, heavens, it may never have troubled her at all. She has so long been accustomed to this quiet, retired life.
COUNT
Yes, and she seems to have a taste for it, too. And then she used to go out a good deal until a few years ago. Between you and me, Egon, as late as three years ago—no, two years ago—I still thought she might make the plunge after all.
PRINCE
What plunge? Oh, I see....
COUNT
If you could only guess what kind of men have been paying attention to her quite recently....
PRINCE
That's only natural.
COUNT
But she won't. She absolutely won't. What I mean is, that she can't be feeling so very lonely ... otherwise she would ... as she has had plenty of opportunity....
PRINCE
Certainly. It's her own choice. And then Mizzie has an additional resource in her painting. It's a case like that of my blessed aunt, the late Fanny Hohenstein, who went on writing books to a venerable old age and never wanted to hear a word about marriage.
COUNT
It may have some connection with her artistic aspirations. At times I'm inclined to look for some psychological connection between all these morbid tendencies.
PRINCE
Morbid, you say? But you can't possibly call Mizzie morbid.
COUNT
Oh, it's all over now. But there was a time....
PRINCE
I have always found Mizzie very sensible and very well balanced. After all, painting roses and violets doesn't prove a person morbid by any means.
COUNT
You don't think me such a fool that her violets and roses could make me believe.... But if you remember when she was still a young girl....
PRINCE
What then?
COUNT
Oh, that story at the time Fedor Wangenheim wanted to marry her.
PRINCE
O Lord, are you still thinking of that? Besides, there was no truth in it. And that was eighteen or twenty years ago almost.
COUNT
Her wanting to join the Ursuline Sisters rather than marry that nice young fellow, to whom she was as good as engaged already—and then up and away from home all at once—you might call that morbid, don't you think?
PRINCE
What has put you in mind of that ancient story to-day?
COUNT
Ancient, you say? I feel as if it happened last year only. It was at the very time when my own affair with Lolo had just begun. Ah, harking back like that...! And if anybody had foretold me at the time...! You know, it really began like any ordinary adventure. In the same reckless, crazy way. Yes, crazy—that's it. Not that I want to make myself out worse than I am, but it was lucky for all of us that my poor wife had already been dead a couple of years. Lolo seemed ... my fate. Mistress and wife at the same time. Because she's such a wonderful cook, you know. And the way she makes you comfortable. And always in good humor—never a cross word.... Well, it's all over. Don't let us talk of it.... (Pause) Tell me, won't you stay for lunch? And I must call Mizzie.
PRINCE (checking him)
Wait—I have something to tell you. (Casually, almost facetiously) I want you to be prepared.
COUNT
Why? For what?
PRINCE
There is a young man coming here to be introduced.
COUNT (astonished)
What? A young man?
PRINCE
If you have no objection.
COUNT
Why should I object? But who is he?
PRINCE
Dear Arpad—he's my son.
COUNT (greatly surprised)
What?
PRINCE
Yes, my son. You see, I didn't want—as I'm going away....
COUNT
Your son? You've got a son?
PRINCE
I have.
COUNT
Well, did you ever...! You have got a young man who is your son—or rather, you have got a son who is a young man. How old?
PRINCE
Seventeen.
COUNT
Seventeen! And you haven't told me before! No, Egon ... Egon! And tell me ... seventeen...? My dear chap, then your wife was still alive....
PRINCE
Yes, my wife was still alive at the time. You see, Arpad, one gets mixed up in all sorts of strange affairs.
COUNT
'Pon my soul, so it seems!
PRINCE
And thus, one fine day, you find yourself having a son of seventeen with whom you go traveling.
COUNT
So it's with him you are going away?
PRINCE
I am taking that liberty.
COUNT
No, I couldn't possibly tell you.... Why, he has got a son of seventeen!... (Suddenly he grasps the hand of the Prince, and then puts his arms about him) And if I may ask ... the mother of that young gentleman, your son ... how it happens ... as you have started telling me....
PRINCE
She's dead long ago. Died a couple of weeks after he was born. A mere slip of a girl.
COUNT
Of the common people?
PRINCE
Oh, of course. But a charming creature. I may as well tell you everything about it. That is, as far as I can recall it myself. The whole story seems like a dream. And if it were not for the boy....
COUNT
And all that you tell me only now! To-day only—just before the boy is coming here!
PRINCE
You never can tell how a thing like that may be received.
COUNT
Tut, tut! Received, you say...? Did you believe perhaps ... I'm something of a philosopher myself, after all.... And you call yourself a friend of mine!
PRINCE
Not a soul has known it—not a single soul in the whole world.
COUNT
But you might have told me. Really, I don't see how you could.... Come now, it wasn't quite nice.
PRINCE
I wanted to wait and see how the boy developed. You never can tell....
COUNT
Of course, with a mixed pedigree like that.... But you seem reassured now?
PRINCE
Oh, yes, he's a fine fellow.
COUNT (embracing him again)
And where has he been living until now?
PRINCE
His earliest years were spent a good way from Vienna—in the Tirol.
COUNT
With peasants?
PRINCE
No, with a small landowner. Then he went to school for some time at Innsbruck. And during the last few years I have been sending him to the preparatory school at Krems.4
COUNT
And you have seen him frequently?
PRINCE
Of course.
COUNT
And what's his idea of it anyhow?
PRINCE
Up to a few days ago he thought that he had lost both his parents—his father as well—and that I was a friend of his dead father.
MIZZIE (appearing on the balcony)
Good morning, Prince Egon.
PRINCE
Good morning, Mizzie.
COUNT
Well, won't you come down a while?
MIZZIE
Oh, if I am not in the way.... (She disappears)
COUNT
And what are we going to say to Mizzie?
PRINCE
I prefer to leave that to you, of course. But as I am adopting the boy anyhow, and as a special decree by His Majesty will probably enable him to assume my name in a few days ...
COUNT (surprised)
What?
PRINCE
... I think it would be wiser to tell Mizzie the truth at once.
COUNT
Certainly, certainly—and why shouldn't we? Seeing that you are adopting him.... It's really funny—but, you see, a daughter, even when she gets to be an old maid, is nothing but a little girl to her father.
MIZZIE (appears; she is thirty-seven, but still very attractive; wears a Florentine straw hat and a white dress; she gives the Count a kiss before holding out her hand to the Prince) Well, how do you do, Prince Egon? We don't see much of you these days.
PRINCE
Thank you.—Have you been very industrious?
MIZZIE
Painting a few flowers.
COUNT
Why so modest, Mizzie? (To the Prince) Professor Windhofer told her recently that she could safely exhibit. Won't have to fear comparison with Mrs. Wisinger-Florian herself.5
MIZZIE
That's so, perhaps. But I have no ambition of that kind.
PRINCE
I'm rather against exhibiting, too. It puts you at the mercy of any newspaper scribbler.
MIZZIE
Well, how about the members of the Upper House—at least when they make speeches?
COUNT
And how about all of us? Is there anything into which they don't poke their noses?
PRINCE
Yes, thanks to prevailing tendencies, there are people who would blackguard your pictures merely because you happen to be a countess, Mizzie.
COUNT
Yes, you're right indeed.
VALET (entering)
Your Grace is wanted on the telephone.
COUNT
Who is it? What is it about?
VALET
There is somebody who wishes to speak to Your Grace personally.
COUNT
You'll have to excuse me a moment. (To the Prince, in a lowered voice) Tell her now—while I am away. I prefer it. (He goes out followed by the valet)
MIZZIE
Somebody on the telephone—do you think papa can have fallen into new bondage already? (She seats herself)
PRINCE
Into new bondage, you say?
MIZZIE
Lolo used always to telephone about this time. But it's all over with her now. You know it, don't you?
PRINCE
I just heard it.
MIZZIE
And what do you think of it, Prince Egon. I am rather sorry, to tell the truth. If he tries anything new now, I'm sure he'll burn his fingers. And I do fear there is something in the air. You see, he's still too young for his years.
PRINCE
Yes, that's so.
MIZZIE (turning so that she faces the Prince)
And by the way, you haven't been here for ever so long.
PRINCE
You haven't missed me very much ... I fear.... Your art ... and heaven knows what else....
MIZZIE (without affectation)
Nevertheless....
PRINCE
Awfully kind of you.... (Pause)
MIZZIE
What makes you speechless to-day? Tell me something. Isn't there anything new in the world at all?
PRINCE (as if he had thought of it only that moment)
Our son has just passed his examinations for the university.
MIZZIE (slightly perturbed)
I hope you have more interesting news to relate.
PRINCE
More interesting....
MIZZIE
Or news, at least, that concerns me more closely than the career of a strange young man.
PRINCE
I have felt obliged, however, to keep you informed about the more important stages in the career of this young man. When he was about to be confirmed, I took the liberty to report the fact to you. But, of course, we don't have to talk any more about it.
MIZZIE
He pulled through, I hope?
PRINCE
With honors.
MIZZIE
The stock seems to be improving.
PRINCE
Let us hope so.
MIZZIE
And now the great moment is approaching, I suppose.
PRINCE
What moment?
MIZZIE
Have you forgotten already? As soon as he had passed his examinations, you meant to reveal yourself as his father.
PRINCE
So I have done already.
MIZZIE
You—have told him already?
PRINCE
I have.
MIZZIE (after a pause, without looking at him)
And his mother—is dead...?
PRINCE
She is—so far.
MIZZIE
And forever. (Rising)
PRINCE
As you please.
[The Count enters, followed by the valet.
VALET
But it was Your Grace who said that Joseph could be free.
COUNT
Yes, yes, it's all right.
VALET (goes out)
MIZZIE
What's the matter, papa?
COUNT
Nothing, my girl, nothing. I wanted to get somewhere quick—and that infernal Joseph.... If you don't mind, Mizzie, I want to have a few words with Egon.... (To the Prince) Do you know, she has been trying to get me before. I mean Lolo. But she couldn't get the number. And now Laura telephones—oh, well, that's her maid, you know—that she has just started on her way here.
PRINCE
Here? To see you?
COUNT
Yes.
PRINCE
But why?
COUNT
Oh, I think I can guess. You see, she has never put her foot in this place, of course, and I have been promising her all the time that she could come here once to have a look at the house and the park before she married. Her standing grievance has always been that I couldn't receive her here. On account of Mizzie, you know. Which she has understood perfectly well. And to sneak her in here some time when Mizzie was not at home—well, for that kind of thing I have never had any taste. And so she sends me a telephone message, that the marriage is set for the day after to-morrow, and that she is on her way here now.
PRINCE
Well, what of it? She is not coming here as your mistress, and so I can't see that you have any reason for embarrassment.
COUNT
But to-day of all days—and with your son due at any moment.
PRINCE
You can leave him to me.
COUNT
But I don't want it. I'm going to meet the carriage and see if I can stop her. It makes me nervous. You'll have to ask your son to excuse me for a little while. Good-by, Mizzie. I'll be back right away. (He goes out)
PRINCE
Miss Lolo has sent word that she's coming to call, and your papa doesn't like it.
MIZZIE
What's that? Has Lolo sent word? Is she coming here?
PRINCE
Your father has been promising her a chance to look over the place before she was married. And now he has gone to meet the carriage in order to steer her off.
MIZZIE
How childish! And how pathetic, when you come to think of it! I should really like to make her acquaintance. Don't you think it's too silly? There is my father, spending half his lifetime with a person who is probably very attractive—and I don't get a chance—don't have the right—to shake hands with her even. Why does he object to it anyhow? He ought to understand that I know all about it.
PRINCE
Oh, heavens, that's the way he is made. And perhaps he might not have minded so much, if he were not expecting another visit at this very moment....
MIZZIE
Another visit, you say?
PRINCE
For which I took the liberty to prepare him.
MIZZIE
Who is it?
PRINCE
Our son.
MIZZIE
Are you ... bringing your son here?
PRINCE
He'll be here in half an hour at the most.
MIZZIE
I say, Prince ... this is not a joke you're trying to spring on me?
PRINCE
By no means. On a departed ... what an idea!
MIZZIE
Is it really true? He's coming here?
PRINCE
Yes.
MIZZIE
Apparently you still think that nothing but a whim keeps me from having anything to do with the boy?
PRINCE
A whim...? No. Seeing how consistent you have been in this matter, it would hardly be safe for me to call it that. And when I bear in mind how you have had the strength all these years not even to ask any questions about him....
MIZZIE
There has been nothing admirable about that. I have had the strength to do what was worse ... when I had to let him be taken away ... a week after he was born....
PRINCE
Yes, what else could you—could we have done at the time? The arrangements made by me at the time, and approved by you in the end, represented absolutely the most expedient thing we could do under the circumstances.
MIZZIE
I have never questioned their expediency.
PRINCE
It was more than expedient, Mizzie. More than our own fate was at stake. Others might have come to grief if the truth had been revealed at the time. My wife, with her weak heart, had probably never survived.
MIZZIE
Oh, that weak heart....
PRINCE
And your father, Mizzie.... Think of your father!
MIZZIE
You may be sure he would have accepted the inevitable. That was the very time when he began his affair with Lolo. Otherwise everything might not have come off so smoothly. Otherwise he might have been more concerned about me. I could never have stayed away several months if he hadn't found it very convenient at that particular moment. And there was only one danger connected with the whole story—that you might be shot dead by Fedor Wangenheim, my dear Prince.
PRINCE
Why I by him? It might have taken another turn. You are not a believer in judgment by ordeal, are you? And the outcome might have proved questionable from such a point of view even. You see, we poor mortals can never be sure how things of that kind are regarded up above.
MIZZIE
You would never talk like that in the Upper House—supposing you ever opened your mouth during one of its sessions.
PRINCE
Possibly not. But the fundamental thing remains, that no amount of honesty or daring could have availed in the least at the time. It would have been nothing but useless cruelty toward those nearest to us. It's doubtful whether a dispensation could have been obtained—and besides, the Princess would never have agreed to a divorce—which you know as well as I do.
MIZZIE
Just as if I had cared in the least for the ceremony...!
PRINCE
Oh....
MIZZIE
Not in the least. Is that new to you? Didn't I tell you so at the time? Oh, you'll never guess what might ... (her words emphasized by her glance) what I ... of what I might have been capable at that time. I would have followed you anywhere—everywhere—even as your mistress. I and the child. To Switzerland, to America. After all, we could have lived wherever it happened to suit us. And perhaps, if you had gone away, they might never even have noticed your absence in the Upper House.
PRINCE
Yes, of course, we might have run away and settled down somewhere abroad.... But do you still believe that a situation like that would have proved agreeable in the long run, or even bearable?
MIZZIE
No, I don't nowadays. Because, you see, I know you now. But at that time I was in love with you. And it is possible that I—might have gone on loving you for a long time, had you not proved too cowardly to assume the responsibility for what had happened.... Yes, too much of a coward, Prince Egon.
PRINCE
Whether that be the proper word....
MIZZIE
Well, I don't know of any other. There was no hesitation on my part. I was ready to face everything—with joy and pride. I was ready to be a mother, and to confess myself the mother of our child. And you knew it, Egon. I told you so seventeen years ago, in that little house in the woods where you kept me hidden. But half-measures have never appealed to me. I wanted to be a mother in every respect or not at all. The day I had to let the boy be taken away from me, I made up my mind never more to trouble myself about him. And for that reason I find it ridiculous of you to bring him here all of a sudden. If you'll allow me to give you a piece of good advice, you'll go and meet him, as papa has gone to meet Lolo—and take him back home again.
PRINCE
I wouldn't dream of doing so. After what I have just had to hear from you again, it seems settled that his mother must remain dead. And that means that I must take still better care of him. He is my son in the eyes of the world too. I have adopted him.
MIZZIE
Have you...?
PRINCE
To-morrow he will probably be able to assume my name. I shall introduce him wherever it suits me. And of course, first of all to my old friend—your father. If you should find the sight of him disagreeable, there will be nothing left for you but to stay in your room while he is here.
MIZZIE
If you believe that I think your tone very appropriate....
PRINCE
Oh, just as appropriate as your bad temper.
MIZZIE
My bad temper...? Do I look it? Really, if you please ... I have simply permitted myself to find this fancy of yours in rather poor taste. Otherwise my temper is just as good as ever.
PRINCE
I have no doubt of your good humor under ordinary circumstances.... I am perfectly aware, for that matter, that you have managed to become reconciled to your fate. I, too, have managed to submit to a fate which, in its own way, has been no less painful than yours.
MIZZIE
In what way? To what fate have you had to submit...? Everybody can't become a cabinet minister. Oh, I see ... that remark must refer to the fact that His Highness did me the honor ten years ago, after the blissful departure of his noble spouse, to apply for my hand.
PRINCE
And again seven years ago, if you'll be kind enough to remember.
MIZZIE
Oh, yes, I do remember. Nor have I ever given you any cause to question my good memory.
PRINCE
And I hope you have never ascribed my proposals to anything like a desire to expiate some kind of guilt. I asked you to become my wife simply because of my conviction that true happiness was to be found only by your side.
MIZZIE
True happiness!... Oh, what a mistake!
PRINCE
Yes, I do believe that it was a mistake at that moment. Ten years ago it was probably still too early. And so it was, perhaps, seven years ago. But not to-day.
MIZZIE
Yes, to-day too, my dear Prince. Your fate has been never to know me, never to understand me at all—no more when I loved you than when I hated you, and not even during the long time when I have been completely indifferent toward you.
PRINCE
I have always known you, Mizzie. I know more about you than you seem able to guess. Thus, for instance, I am not unfamiliar with the fact that you have spent the last seventeen years in more profitable pursuits than weeping over a man who, in all likelihood, was not worthy of you at the time in question. I am even aware that you have chosen to expose yourself to several disillusionments subsequent to the one suffered at my hands.
MIZZIE
Disillusionments, you say? Well, for your consolation, my dear Prince, I can assure you that some of them proved very enjoyable.
PRINCE
I know that, too. Otherwise I should hardly have dared to call myself familiar with the history of your life.
MIZZIE
And do you think that I am not familiar with yours? Do you want me to present you with a list of your mistresses? From the wife of the Bulgarian attaché in 1887 down to Mademoiselle Therese Grédun—if that be her real name—who retained the honors of her office up to last Spring at least. It seems likely that I know more than you even, for I can give you a practically complete list of those with whom she has deceived you.
PRINCE
Oh, don't, if you please. There is no real pleasure in knowledge of that kind when you don't uncover it yourself.
[A carriage is heard stopping in front of the house.
PRINCE
That's he. Do you want to disappear before he comes out here? I can detain him that long.
MIZZIE
Don't trouble yourself, please. I prefer to stay. But don't imagine that there is anything astir within me.... This is nothing but a young man coming to call on my father. There he is now.... As to blood being thicker than water—I think it's nothing but a fairy tale. I can't feel anything at all, my dear Prince.
PHILIP (comes quickly through the main entrance; he is seventeen, slender, handsome, elegant, but not foppish; shows a charming, though somewhat boyish, forwardness, not quite free from embarrassment) Good morning. (He bows to Mizzie)
PRINCE
Good morning, Philip.—Countess, will you permit me to introduce my son? This is Countess Mizzie, daughter of the old friend of mine in whose house you are now.
PHILIP (kisses the hand offered him by Mizzie; brief pause)
MIZZIE
Won't you be seated, please?
PHILIP
Thank you. Countess. (All remain standing)
PRINCE
You came in the carriage? Might just as well send it back, as mine is here already.
PHILIP
Won't you come back with me instead, papa? You see, I think Wasner does a great deal better than your Franz with his team of ancients.
MIZZIE
So Wasner has been driving you?
PHILIP
Yes.
MIZZIE
The old man himself? Do you know that's a great honor? Wasner won't take the box for everybody. Up to about two years ago he used to drive my father.
PHILIP
Oh....
PRINCE
You're a little late, by the way, Philip.
PHILIP
Yes, I have to beg your pardon. Overslept, you know. (To Mizzie) I was out with some of my colleagues last night. You may have heard that I passed my examinations a couple of weeks ago, Countess. That's why we rather made a night of it.6
MIZZIE
You seem to have caught on to our Viennese ways pretty quickly, Mister....
PRINCE
Oh, dear Mizzie, call him Philip, please.
MIZZIE
But I think we must sit down first of all, Philip. (With a glance at the Prince) Papa should be here any moment now. (She and the Prince sit down)
PHILIP (still standing)
If you permit me to say so—I think the park is magnificent. It is much finer than ours.
MIZZIE
You are familiar with the Ravenstein park?
PHILIP
Certainly, Countess. I have been living at Ravenstein House three days already.
MIZZIE
Is that so?
PRINCE
Of course, gardens cannot do as well in the city as out here. Ours was probably a great deal more beautiful a hundred years ago. But then our place was still practically outside the city.
PHILIP
It's a pity that all sorts of people have been allowed to run up houses around our place like that.
MIZZIE
We are better off in that respect. And we shall hardly live to see the town overtake us.
PHILIP (affably)
But why not, Countess?
MIZZIE
A hundred years ago these grounds were still used for hunting. The place adjoins the Tiergarten, you know. Look over that wall there, Philip. And our villa was a hunting lodge once, belonging to the Empress Maria Theresa. The stone figure over there goes back to that period.
PHILIP
And how old is our place, papa?
PRINCE (smiling)
Our place, sonny, dates back to the seventeenth century. Didn't I show you the room in which Emperor Leopold spent a night?
PHILIP
Emperor Leopold, 1648 to 1705.
MIZZIE (laughs)
PHILIP
Oh, that's an echo of the examinations. When I get old enough.... (He interrupts himself) I beg your pardon! What I meant to say was simply—all that stuff will be out of my head in a year. And, of course, when I learned those dates, I didn't know Emperor Leopold had been such a good friend of my own people.
MIZZIE
You seem to think your discovery enormously funny, Philip?
PHILIP
Discovery, you say.... Well, frankly speaking, it could hardly be called that. (He looks at the Prince)
PRINCE
Go on, go on!
PHILIP
Well, you see, Countess, I have always had the feeling that I was no Philip Radeiner by birth.
MIZZIE
Radeiner? (To the Prince) Oh, that was the name...?
PRINCE
Yes.
PHILIP
And, of course, it was very pleasant to find my suspicions confirmed—but I have really known it all the time. I can put two and two together. And some of the other boys had also figured out—that I.... Really, Countess, that story about Prince Ravenstein coming to Krems merely to see how the son of his late friend was getting along—don't you think it smacked a little too much of story book ... Home and Family Library, and that sort of thing? All the clever ones felt pretty sure that I was of noble blood, and as I was one of the cleverest....
MIZZIE
So it seems.... And what are your plans for the future, Philip?
PHILIP
Next October I shall begin my year as volunteer with the Sixth Dragoons, which is the regiment in which we Ravensteins always serve. And what's going to happen after that—whether I stay in the army or become an archbishop—in due time, of course....
MIZZIE
That would probably be the best thing. The Ravensteins have always been strong in the faith.
PHILIP
Yes, it's mentioned in the Universal History even. They were Catholic at first; then they turned Protestant in the Thirty Years War; and finally they became Catholic again—but they always remained strong in their faith. It was only the faith that changed.
PRINCE
Philip, Philip!
MIZZIE
That's the spirit of the time, Prince Egon.
PRINCE
And an inheritance from his mother.
MIZZIE
You have been working hard, your father tells me, and have passed your examinations with honors.
PHILIP
Well, that wasn't difficult, Countess. I seem to get hold of things quickly. That's probably another result of the common blood in me. And I had time to spare for things not in the school curriculum—such as horseback riding and ...
MIZZIE
And what?
PHILIP
Playing the clarinet.
MIZZIE (laughing)
Why did you hesitate to tell about that?
PHILIP
Because.... Well, because everybody laughs when I say that I play the clarinet. And so did you, too, Countess. Isn't that queer? Did anybody ever laugh because you told him that you were painting for a diversion?
MIZZIE
So you have already heard about that?
PHILIP
Yes, indeed, Countess—papa told me. And besides, there is a floral piece in my bedroom—a Chinese vase, you know, with a laburnum branch and something purplish in color.
MIZZIE
That purplish stuff must be lilacs.
PHILIP
Oh, lilacs, of course. I saw that at once. But I couldn't recall the name just now.
VALET (entering)
There is a lady who wishes to see the Count. I have showed her into the drawing-room.
MIZZIE
A lady...? You'll have to excuse me for a moment, gentlemen. (She goes out)
PHILIP
That's all right, papa—if it's up to me, I have no objection.
PRINCE
To what? Of what are you talking?
PHILIP
I have no objection to your choice.
PRINCE
Have you lost your senses, boy?
PHILIP
But really, papa, do you think you can hide anything from me? That common blood in me, you know....
PRINCE
What put such an idea into your head?
PHILIP
Now look here, papa! You have been telling me how anxious you were to introduce me to your old friend, the Count. And then the Count has a daughter—which I have known all the time, by the way.... The one thing I feared a little was that she might be too young.
PRINCE (offended, and yet unable to keep serious)
Too young, you say....
PHILIP
It was perfectly plain that you had a certain weakness for that daughter.... Why, you used to be quite embarrassed when talking of her. And then you have been telling me all sorts of things about her that you would never have cared to tell otherwise. What interest could I have in the pictures of a Countess X-divided-by-anything, for instance—supposing even that you could tell her lilacs from her laburnums by their color? And, as I said, my one fear was that she might be too young—as my mother, that is, and not as your wife. Of course, there is not yet anybody too young or beautiful for you. But now I can tell you, papa, that she suits me absolutely as she is.
PRINCE
Well, if you are not the most impudent rogue I ever came across...! Do you really think I would ask you, if I should ever....
PHILIP
Not exactly ask, papa ... but a happy family life requires that all the members affect each other sympathetically ... don't you think so?
[Mizzie and Lolo Langhuber enter.
MIZZIE
You must look around, please. I am sure my father would be very sorry to miss you. (She starts to make the usual introductions) Permit me to....
LOLO
Oh, Your Highness.
PRINCE
Well, Miss Pallestri....
LOLO
Langhuber, if you please. I have come to thank the Count for the magnificent flowers he sent me at my farewell performance.
PRINCE (introducing)
My son Philip. And this is Miss ...
LOLO
Charlotta Langhuber.
PRINCE (to Philip)
Better known as Miss Pallestri.
PHILIP
Oh, Miss Pallestri! Then I have already had the pleasure....
PRINCE