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The Modern Traveller

Chapter 6: V.
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About This Book

A satirical cycle of comic poems voiced by a self-styled traveller who recounts episodic portraits of eccentric adventurers, botched expeditions, and social absurdities encountered abroad. The pieces parody conventional travel narratives, using concise verse, caricature, and dark wit to expose vanity, bravado, and commercial ambition; short lyrical chapters alternate anecdote, mock-heroic scenes, and pointed reflection, blending humorous narration with verse illustration.

V.

Far Land of Ophir! Mined for gold
By lordly Solomon of old,
Who sailing northward to Perim
Took all the gold away with him,
And left a lot of holes;
Vacuities that bring despair
To those confiding souls
Who find that they have bought a share
In marvellous horizons, where
The Desert terrible and bare
Interminably rolls.
Great Island! Made to be the bane
Of Mr. Joseph Chamberlain.
Peninsula! Whose smouldering fights
Keep Salisbury awake at nights;
And furnished for a year or so
Such sport to M. Hanotaux.
Vast Continent! Whose cumbrous shape
Runs from Bizerta to the Cape
(Bizerta on the northern shore,
Concerning which, the French, they swore
It never should be fortified,
Wherein that cheerful people lied).
Thou nest of Sultans full of guile,
Embracing Zanzibar the vile
And Egypt, watered by the Nile
(Egypt, which is, as I believe,
The property of the Khedive):—
Containing in thy many states
Two independent potentates,
And one I may not name.
(Look carefully at number three,
Not independent quite, but he
Is more than what he used to be.)
To thee, dear goal, so long deferred
Like old Æneas—in a word
To Africa we came.
We beached upon a rising tide
At Sasstown on the western side;
And as we touched the strand
I thought—(I may have been mistook)—
I thought the earth in terror shook
To feel its Conquerors land.