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The Modern Traveller

Chapter 7: VI.
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About This Book

A satirical cycle of comic poems voiced by a self-styled traveller who recounts episodic portraits of eccentric adventurers, botched expeditions, and social absurdities encountered abroad. The pieces parody conventional travel narratives, using concise verse, caricature, and dark wit to expose vanity, bravado, and commercial ambition; short lyrical chapters alternate anecdote, mock-heroic scenes, and pointed reflection, blending humorous narration with verse illustration.

VI.

[4]

But when we went away, we found
A deficit of several pound.
We wondered how this fellow made
Himself so readily obeyed,
And why the natives were so meek;
Until by chance we heard him speak,
And then we clearly understood
How great a Power for Social Good
The African can be.
He said with a determined air:
“You are not what your fathers were;
Liberians, you are Free!
Of course, if you refuse to go—”
And here he made a gesture
so.
He also gave us good advice
Concerning Labour and its Price.
“In dealing wid de Native Scum,
Yo’ cannot pick an’ choose;
Yo’ hab to promise um a sum
Ob wages, paid in Cloth and Rum.
But, Lordy! that’s a ruse!
Yo’ get yo’ well on de Adventure,
And change de wages to Indenture.”
We did the thing that he projected,
The Caravan grew disaffected,
And Sin and I consulted;
Blood understood the Native mind.
He said: “We must be firm but kind.”
A Mutiny resulted.
I never shall forget the way
That Blood upon this awful day
Preserved us all from death.
He stood upon a little mound,
Cast his lethargic eyes around,
And said beneath his breath:
“Whatever happens we have got
The Maxim Gun, and they have not.”
He marked them in their rude advance,
He hushed their rebel cheers;
With one extremely vulgar glance
He broke the Mutineers.
(I have a picture in my book
Of how he quelled them with a look.)
We shot and hanged a few, and then
The rest became devoted men.
And here I wish to say a word
Upon the way my heart was stirred
By those pathetic faces.
Surely our simple duty here
Is both imperative and clear;
While they support us, we should lend
Our every effort to defend,
And from a higher point of view
To give the full direction due
To all the native races.
And I, throughout the expedition,
Insisted upon
this position.