THE CAROLINA PARROT.
Parrots, with all their cleverness, are not capable of keeping up a dialogue; otherwise we might suppose something like the following to be in character with their humour and experience.
Poll’s Mistress.
I’ve heard of imp, I’ve heard of sprite;
Of fays and fairies of the night;
Of that renowned fiend Hobgoblin,
Running, racing, jumping, hobbling;
Of Puck, brimful of fun; also
Of roguish Robin Goodfellow.
I’ve seen a hearth where, as is told,
Came Hobthrush in the days of old,
To make the butter, mend the linen,
And keep the housewife’s wheel a-spinning.
I’ve heard of pigmies, pixies, lares,
Shoirim, gemedim, and fairies:—
And, Parrot, on my honest word,
I hardly think thou art a bird;—
Thou art so pixy, quaint and queer;
Thou art not canny, Poll, I fear!
Look at that impish leer of thine!
List to thy scream, thy shout, thy whine,
And none will doubt but thou must be
A creature of the faery.
Or tell me, Poll, art thou not kin
To Jack o’ lanthern? Come, begin!
Answer me, Poll, was’t ’mong the fairies
Thou learnt thy many strange vagaries?
Speak, pretty Poll!
Poll.
Well, I don’t care if I tell you all.
You’ve got some company, I see; a short gentleman and a tall;
Many ladies, too, altogether two or three dozen,
I should not wonder if they are some of you uncles and cousins!
Pray am I not a very fine bird,
Green, and yellow, and scarlet?—
Upon my word!
That man has a coat on like our Captain!
Captain.
Poll, how do you do, my dear?
You look well; it’s fine living here!
Poll.
Ha, Captain, how do you do?—Captain, your health, I say;
Captain, I’ll have the pleasure of drinking your health to-day! ha! ha! ha!
I’m very glad to see you!—You remember, perhaps,
That wood in Carolina, the guns and all the traps;—
To be sure you do!—Ladies, I’m a Carolina bird,—
Some come from the East Indies, from the Cape too, I have heard;
But I’m of Carolina—to the Big-bone lick I’ve been,—
Now in that country there is something to be seen!
Our Captain knows that! Ay, Captain, I say,
Do you remember crossing the Cedar Swamp one particular day,
When I got out of your pocket and flew away?
Ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! How it makes me laugh!
You’d a pretty chase after me!—ha! ha! a pretty chase!
And I sat in the hickory trees, laughing in your face!
Ha! ha! ha! how I did laugh.
What cypress-berries, cockel-burs, and beach-nuts grew there!
You many look all this country over, and find none anywhere.
And what fun it was—me, and a thousand beside,
To fly in the merry sunshine through those forests wide,
And build our nests—Oh, what nests we had?—
Did you ever see one of our nests—Captain? Eh, my lad?
Captain.
I’ve heard of nests of cinnamon,
With the great Phœnix set thereon;
And swallows’ nests, so rich and sweet
Of which the Chinese people eat;
But of your nests I never heard,
What kind are they, I pray thee, bird?
Parrot.
Nests! ha! ha! ha! what sort of nests should they be?
You may fancy if you please, but you’ll never know from me!
I never blab, not I! What sort of nest is built?
Ha! ha! ha! with sheets and blankets and a fine Marseilles quilt! ha! ha! ha!
Put it down in your little book,—a four-post bed, I say,
With damask moreen hangings, and made every day! ha! ha! ha!
Oh, how it makes me laugh! ha! ha! ha!
I shall split my sides with laughing some of these days! ha! ha! ha!
Captain.
Come, now, you silly prate-a-pace
Tell us about the Big-bone place,
Where our acquaintance first began;
And of those swamps, untrode by man,
Where you came, impudent and merry,
For cockle-burr and hackle-berry,
Parrot.
Of the Big-bone lick, did you say?—Ay, we used to go there,
A Parrot’s very fond of salt! I really declare
I’ve seen ten thousand of us there altogether,—
A beautiful sight it was, in fine summer weather,
Like a grand velvet carpet, of orange, green and yellow,
Covering the ground! Ah, Captain! my good fellow,
I had reason to rue the day you came there with your gun!
I would laugh if I could, but to me it was no fun—heigh-ho!
No fun at all, Captain, heigh-ho!
Captain.
Nay, Poll, cheer up, you’re better here
Than at the Big-bone lick, my dear!
Parrot.
Captain, how you talk! we Parrots love each other—
There you shot dozens of us,—my father and my mother,—
I shall not forget it in a hurry,—what wailing and crying,—
What flying round and round there was! What comforting the dying!
You, yourself, laid down your gun,—overcome by the sight,
And said you would not shoot again, at least that night!
Heigh-ho! I am just ready to cry! And I think I shall cry before I have done!
(She cries like a child.)
There, now, I am better! but my throat is quite hot;
Can’t I have a glass of water?—(She coughs.) Bless me, what a cold I’ve got!
Do, shut that window, Jenny, or we shall all die of cold;
And mend the fire, can’t you, as you already have been told!
And let’s have a cup of tea, for I’m just tired to death.
What a shocking cold it is! and I’m so short of breath!—(She coughs again.)
(She speaks in another voice.)
Tea’s ready, if you please. Ready is it? With the water in the pot?
Yes, ma’am: Well, then, I’ll go and have my tea, while the muffin’s hot!
Exit Poll.