The Prose Works of Jonathan Swift, D.D. — Volume 09 / Contributions to The Tatler, The Examiner, The Spectator, and The Intelligencer

[Footnote 3: There were four factions, or parties, distinguished by their colours, which contended in the ancient circus at Constantinople. The white and the red were the most ancient. In the sixth century the dissension between the green (or Prasini) and the blue (or Veneti) was so violent, that 40,000 men were killed, and the factions were abolished from that time. See also Gibbon's "Rome," chap. xl. [T.S.]]

[Footnote 4: The Guelfs were the Papal and popular party in Italy, and the Ghibellines were the imperial and aristocratic. It is said that these names were first used as war cries at the battle of Weinsberg in 1140. [T.S.]]

[Footnote 5: These terms came into use about 1641. [T.S.]]

[Footnote 6: Writing under date, 1681, Burnet says "At this time the distinguishing names of Whig and Tory came to be the denominations of the parties" ("Hist. Own Times," i. 499) [T.S.]

Whig a more was a nick name given to the western peasantry of Scotland, from then using the words frequently in driving strings of horses. Hence, as connected with Calvinistical principles in religion, and republican doctrines in policy, it was given as a term of reproach to the opposition party in the latter years of Charles II. These retorted upon the courtiers the word Tory, signifying an Irish free-booter, and particularly applicable to the Roman Catholic followers of the Duke of York. [S]

Macaulay's explanation of the origin of these two terms is somewhat different from that given by Scott. "In Scotland," he says, "some of the persecuted Covenanters, driven mad by oppression, had lately murdered the Primate, had taken aims against the government," etc. "These zealots were most numerous among the rustics of the western lowlands, who were vulgarly called Whigs. Thus the appellation of Whig was fastened on the Presbyterian zealots of Scotland, and was transferred to those English politicians who showed a disposition to oppose the court, and to treat Protestant Nonconformists with indulgence. The bogs of Ireland, at the same time, afforded a refuge to Popish outlaws, much resembling those who were afterwards known as Whiteboys. These men were then called Tories. The name of Tory was therefore given to Englishmen who refused to concur in excluding a Roman Catholic prince from the throne." ("History of England," vol. i, chap. ii) [T.S.]]

[Footnote 7: The Convention was summoned by the Prince of Orange in December, 1688. After a lengthened debate they resolved, on February 12th, 1688/9, that the Prince and Princess of Orange should "be declared King and Queen." The Sovereigns were proclaimed on February 13th, and on the 20th the Convention was voted a Parliament. [T.S.]]

[Footnote 8: The bishops who were deprived for refusing to take the oath of allegiance to King William were: Sancroft, the Archbishop of Canterbury; Ken, Bishop of Bath; White, Bishop of Peterborough; Turner, Bishop of Ely; Frampton, Bishop of Gloucester; and Lloyd, Bishop of Norwich. [T.S.]]

[Footnote 9: Writing to Stella, under date October 10th, 1711, Swift complains that "The Protestant Post-Boy" says "that an ambitious tantivy, missing of his towering hopes of preferment in Ireland, is come over to vent his spleen on the late ministry," etc. (vol. ii., p. 258, of present edition). [T.S.]]

[Footnote 10: "The most virtuous and pious enemy to their wicked principles [i.e., to those of the Calves-Head Club] is always cried down as a high-flyer, a Papist, and a traitor to his country" ("Secret History of the Calves-Head Club," 7th edit., 1709). [T.S.]]

[Footnote 11: Prince George of Denmark died October 28th, 1708. [T.S.]]

NUMB. 45.[1]

FROM THURSDAY MAY 31, TO THURSDAY JUNE 7, 1711.[2]

Whoever calls to mind the clamour and the calumny, the artificial fears and jealousies, the shameful misrepresentation of persons and of things, that were raised and spread by the leaders and instruments of a certain party, upon the change of the last ministry, and dissolution of Parliament; if he be a true lover of his country, must feel a mighty pleasure, though mixed with some indignation, to see the wishes, the conjectures, the endeavours, of an inveterate faction entirely disappointed; and this important period wholly spent, in restoring the prerogative to the prince, liberty to the subject, in reforming past abuses, preventing future, supplying old deficiencies, providing for debts, restoring the clergy to their rights, and taking care of the necessities of the Church: and all this unattended with any of those misfortunes which some men hoped for, while they pretended to fear.

For my own part, I must confess, the difficulties appeared so great to me, from such a noise and shew of opposition, that I thought nothing but the absolute necessity of affairs, could ever justify so daring an attempt. But, a wise and good prince, at the head of an able ministry, and of a senate freely chosen; all united to pursue the true interest of their country, is a power, against which, the little inferior politics of any faction, will be able to make no long resistance. To this we may add one additional strength, which in the opinion of our adversaries, is the greatest and justest of any; I mean the vox populi, so indisputably declarative on the same side. I am apt to think, when these discarded politicians begin seriously to consider all this, they will think it proper to give out, and reserve their wisdom for some more convenient juncture.

It was pleasant enough to observe, that those who were the chief instruments of raising the noise, who started fears, bespoke dangers, and formed ominous prognostics, in order scare the allies, to spirit the French, and fright ignorant people at home; made use of those very opinions themselves had broached, for arguments to prove, that the change of ministers was dangerous and unseasonable. But if a house be swept, the more occasion there is for such a work, the more dust it will raise; if it be going to ruin, the repairs, however necessary, will make a noise, and disturb the neighbourhood a while. And as to the rejoicings made in France,[4] if it be true, that they had any, upon the news of those alterations among us; their joy was grounded upon the same hopes with that of the Whigs, who comforted themselves, that a change of ministry and Parliament, would infallibly put us all into confusion, increase our divisions, and destroy our credit; wherein, I suppose, by this time they are equally undeceived.

But this long session, being in a manner ended,[5] which several circumstances, and one accident, altogether unforeseen, have drawn out beyond the usual time; it may be some small piece of justice to so excellent an assembly, barely to mention a few of those great things they have done for the service of their QUEEN and country; which I shall take notice of, just as they come to my memory.

The credit of the nation began mightily to suffer by a discount upon exchequer bills, which have been generally reckoned the surest and most sacred of all securities. The present lord treasurer, then a member of the House of Commons, proposed a method, which was immediately complied with, of raising them to a par with specie;[6] and so they have ever since continued.

The British colonies of Nevis and St. Christopher's,[7] had been miserably plundered by the French, their houses burnt, their plantations destroyed, and many of the inhabitants carried away prisoners: they had often, for some years past, applied in vain for relief from hence; till the present Parliament, considering their condition as a case of justice and mercy, voted them one hundred thousand pound by way of recompense, in some manner, for their sufferings.

Some persons, whom the voice of the nation authorizes me to call her enemies, taking advantage of the general Naturalization Act, had invited over a great number of foreigners of all religions, under the name of Palatines;[8] who understood no trade or handicraft, yet rather chose to beg than labour;[9] who besides infesting our streets, bred contagious diseases, by which we lost in natives, thrice the number of what we gained in foreigners. The House of Commons, as a remedy against this evil, brought in a bill for repealing that Act of general Naturalization, which, to the surprise of most people, was rejected by the L[or]ds.[10] And upon this occasion, I must allow myself to have been justly rebuked by one of my weekly monitors, for pretending in a former paper, to hope that law would be repealed; wherein the Commons being disappointed, took care however to send many of the Palatines away, and to represent their being invited over, as a pernicious counsel.[11]

The Qualification Bill,[12] incapacitating all men to serve in Parliament, who have not some estate in land, either in possession or certain reversion, is perhaps the greatest security that ever was contrived for preserving the constitution, which otherwise might, in a little time, lie wholly at the mercy of the moneyed interest: And since much the greatest part of the taxes is paid, either immediately from land, or from the productions of it, it is but common justice, that those who are the proprietors, should appoint what portion of it ought to go to the support of the public; otherwise, the engrossers of money, would be apt to lay heavy loads on others, which themselves never touch with one of their fingers.

The public debts were so prodigiously increased, by the negligence and corruption of those who had been managers of the revenue; that the late m[iniste]rs, like careless men, who run out their fortunes, were so far from any thoughts of payment, as they had not the courage to state or compute them. The Parliament found that thirty-five millions had never been accounted for; and that the debt on the navy, wholly unprovided for, amounted to nine millions.[13] The late chancellor of the exchequer, suitable to his transcendent genius for public affairs, proposed a fund to be security for that immense debt, which is now confirmed by a law, and is likely to prove the greatest restoration and establishment of the kingdom's credit.[14] Nor content with this, the legislature hath appointed commissioners of accompts, to inspect into past mismanagements of the public money, and prevent them for the future.[15]

I have, in a former paper, mentioned the Act for building fifty new Churches in London and Westminster,[16] with a fund appropriated for that pious and noble work. But while I am mentioning acts of piety, it would be unjust to conceal my lord high treasurer's concern for religion, which have extended even to another kingdom: his lordship having some months ago, obtained of her Majesty a remission of the first-fruits and tenths to the clergy of Ireland,[17] as he is known to have formerly done for that reverend body in this kingdom.

The Act for carrying on a Trade to the South-Sea,[18] proposed by the same great person, whose thoughts are perpetually employed, and always with success, on the good of his country, will, in all probability, if duly executed, be of mighty advantage to the kingdom, and an everlasting honour to the present Parliament.[19]

I might go on further, and mention that seasonable law against excessive gaming;[20] the putting a stop to that scandalous fraud of false musters in the Guards;[21] the diligent and effectual enquiry made by the Commons into several gross abuses.[22] I might produce many instances of their impartial justice in deciding controverted election, against former example, and great provocations to retaliate.[23] I might shew their cheerful readiness in granting such vast supplies; their great unanimity, not to be broken by all the arts of a malicious and cunning faction; their unfeigned duty to the QUEEN; and lastly, that representation made to her Majesty from the House of Commons, discovering such a spirit and disposition in that noble assembly, to redress all those evils, which a long mal-administration had brought upon us.[24]

It is probable, that trusting only to my memory, I may have omitted many things of great importance; neither do I pretend further in the compass of this paper, than to give the world some general, however imperfect idea, how worthily this great assembly hath discharged the trust of those who so freely chose them; and what we may reasonably hope and expect from the piety, courage, wisdom, and loyalty of such excellent patriots, in a time so fruitful of occasions to exert the greatest abilities.

And now I conceive the main design I had in writing these papers, is fully executed. A great majority of the nation is at length thoroughly convinced, that the Qu[een] proceeded with the highest wisdom, in changing her ministry and Parliament. That under a former administration, the greatest abuses of all kinds were committed, and the most dangerous attempts against the constitution for some time intended. The whole kingdom finds the present persons in power, directly and openly pursuing the true service of their QUEEN and country; and to be such whom their most bitter enemies cannot tax with bribery, covetousness, ambition, pride, insolence, or any pernicious principles in religion or government.

For my own particular, those little barking pens which have so constantly pursued me, I take to be of no further consequence to what I have writ, than the scoffing slaves of old, placed behind the chariot, to put the general in mind of his mortality;[25] which was but a thing of form, and made no stop or disturbance in the shew. However, if those perpetual snarlers against me, had the same design, I must own they have effectually compassed it; since nothing can well be more mortifying, than to reflect that I am of the same species with creatures capable of uttering so much scurrility, dullness, falsehood and impertinence, to the scandal and disgrace of human nature.

[Footnote 1: No. 44 in the reprint. [T.S.]]

[Footnote 2: To Stella, about this time, Swift wrote giving a decided hint of the end of his term on "The Examiner." Under date June 7th, 1711, he says: "As for the 'Examiner,' I have heard a whisper, that after that of this day, which tells what this Parliament has done, you will hardly find them so good. I prophesy they will be trash for the future; and methinks in this day's 'Examiner' the author talks doubtfully, as if he would write no more" (vol. ii., pp. 192-3 of present edition). [T.S.]]

[Footnote 3: "Great is the power, great the name, of a Senate which is unanimous in its opinions."—H.T. RILEY, [T.S.]]

[Footnote 4: See No. 24, ante, and note on p. 145. [T.S.]]

[Footnote 5: The session did not actually close till June 12th. [T.S.]]

[Footnote 6: The House of Commons had resolved on January 16th, 1710/1, to provide for converting all non-specie exchequer bills into specie. [T.S.]]

[Footnote 7: The Act for licensing and regulating hackney coaches, etc. (9 Ann. c. 16) provided that a sum of £103,003 11s. 4d. should be distributed among those proprietors and inhabitants of Nevis and St. Christopher's who had suffered "very great losses by a late invasion of the French." [T.S.]]

[Footnote 8: See note on p. 264. [T.S.]]

[Footnote 9: A petition was presented to the House of Commons on January 15th, 1710/1, against the Palatines as likely to spread disease and to become chargeable to the parish. [T.S.]

The exactions of the French armies in the Palatinate, in the year 1709, drove from their habitations six or seven thousand persons of all descriptions and professions, who came into Holland with a view of emigrating to British America. It was never accurately ascertained, with what view, or by whose persuasions, their course was changed, but, by direction from the English ministers, they were furnished with shipping to come to England. In the settlements, they would have been a valuable colony; but in the vicinity of London, this huge accession to the poor of the metropolis was a burthen and a nuisance. They were encamped on Blackheath, near Greenwich, where, so soon as their countrymen heard that they were supported by British charity, the number of the fugitives began to increase by recruits from the Continent, till government prohibited further importation. A general Naturalization Act, passed in favour of the French Protestants, greatly encouraged this influx of strangers. This matter was inquired into by the Tory Parliament, who voted, that the bringing over the Palatines was an oppression on the nation, and a waste of the public money, and that he who advised it was an enemy to his country. The unfortunate fugitives had been already dispersed; some of them to North America, some to Ireland, and some through Britain. The pretence alleged for the vote against them, was the apprehension expressed by the guardians of the poor in several parishes, that they might introduce contagious diseases; but the real reason was a wish to gratify the prejudice of the common people against foreigners, and to dimmish the number of Dissenters. [S.]]

[Footnote 10: See No. 26, ante, and note on p. 160. [T.S.]]

[Footnote 11: On the invitation of the lord lieutenant 3,000 Palatines were sent into Ireland in August, 1709, and 800 in the following February. Many of them subsequently returned to England in the hope that they would be sent to Carolina. Large numbers had been brought to England from Holland at the Queen's expense, after the passing of the Naturalization Act. The government spent £22,275 in transporting 3,300 of them to New York and establishing them there, undertaking to maintain them until they could provide for themselves. These sums were to be repaid within four years. [T.S.]]

[Footnote 12: See No. 35, ante, and note on p. 225. [T.S.]]

[Footnote 13: See No. 41, ante, and note on p. 264. The debt on the navy is a portion of the thirty-five millions referred to. [T.S.]]

[Footnote 14: Harley proposed a scheme, on May 2nd, 1711, by which all public and national debts and deficiencies were to be satisfied. Resolutions were passed on May 3rd, and a Bill brought in on the 17th, which was the origin of the celebrated South Sea scheme referred to later in the text. [T.S.]]

[Footnote 15: The Bill for examining the Public Accounts (9 Ann. c. 18) became law on May 16th. [T.S.]]

[Footnote 16: See No. 43, ante, pp. 278 et seq. [T.S.]]

[Footnote 17: On August 15th, 1711, Swift wrote to Archbishop King: "He [the lord treasurer] told me, 'he had lately received a letter from the bishops of Ireland, subscribed (as I remember) by seventeen, acknowledging his favour about the first-fruits'" (Scott's edition, xv. 465). [T.S.]]

[Footnote 18: The South Sea Company was established in pursuance of the Act 9 Ann. c. 15. [T.S.]]

[Footnote 19: The disastrous results of the South Sea scheme, when the company failed in 1720-21, are matter of history. [T.S.]]

[Footnote 20: A Bill for the better preventing of Excessive and Deceitful Gaming, was introduced January 25th, 1710/1, passed April 11th, and obtained the Royal Assent, May 16th (9 Ann. c. 19). A similar bill, which had passed the House of Commons in 1709/10, was dropped in the House of Lords. [T.S.]]

[Footnote 21: A committee of the House of Commons was appointed, on February 5th, 1710/1 to inquire into alleged false musters in the Guards. A petition was presented to the House on February 13th, complaining that tradesmen were listed in Her Majesty's Guards "to screen and protect them from their creditors." A clause was inserted in the Recruiting Bill to remedy this evil (10 Ann. c. 12; see sec. 39), and the House passed a strong resolution against the practice, on May 26th, when considering the report of the committee. [T.S.]]

[Footnote 22: The House of Commons, on June 4th, presented a representation to the Queen on mismanagements and abuses. [T.S.]]

[Footnote 23: A large number of petitions to the House of Commons concerning controverted elections had been considered in December, 1710. [T.S.]]

[Footnote 24: Towards the close of the very long representation addressed to the Queen on June 4th, the Commons said: "We ... beseech your Majesty ... that you would employ in places of authority and trust such only, as have given good testimonies of their duty to your Majesty, and of their affection to the true interest of your kingdom." [T.S.]]

[Footnote 25: In a Roman triumph a slave accompanied the victorious general to whisper in his ear: "Remember that thou art but a man." [T.S.]]

NUMB. 46.[1]

FROM THURSDAY JUNE 7, TO THURSDAY JUNE 14, 1711.[2]

When a general has conquered an army, and reduced a country to obedience, he often finds it necessary to send out small bodies, in order to take in petty castles and forts, and beat little straggling parties, which are otherwise, apt to make head and infest the neighbourhood: This case exactly resembles mine; I count the main body of the Whigs entirely subdued; at least, till they appear with new reinforcements, I shall reckon them as such; and therefore do now find myself at leisure to Examine inferior abuses. The business I have left, is, to fall on those wretches that will be still keeping the war on foot, when they have no country to defend, no forces to bring into the field, nor any thing remaining, but their bare good-will towards faction and mischief: I mean, the present set of writers, whom I have suffered, without molestation, so long to infest the town. Were there not a concurrence from prejudice, party, weak understanding, and misrepresentation, I should think them too inconsiderable in themselves to deserve correction: But as my endeavour hath been to expose the gross impositions of the fallen party, I will give a taste, in the following petition, of the sincerity of these their factors, to shew how little those writers for the Whigs were guided by conscience or honour, their business being only to gratify a prevailing interest.

"To the Right Honourable the present M[inist]ry, the humble Petition of the Party Writers to the late M[inist]ry.

"HUMBLY SHEWETH,

"That your petitioners have served their time to the trade of writing pamphlets and weekly papers, in defence of the Whigs, against the Church of England, and the Christian religion, and her Majesty's prerogative, and her title to the crown: That since the late change of ministry, and meeting of this Parliament, the said trade is mightily fallen off, and the call for the said pamphlets and papers, much less than formerly; and it is feared, to our further prejudice, that the 'Examiner' may discontinue writing, whereby some of your petitioners will be brought to utter distress, forasmuch as through false quotations, noted absurdities, and other legal abuses, many of your petitioners, to their great comfort and support, were enabled to pick up a weekly subsistence out of the said 'Examiner.'

"That your said poor petitioners, did humbly offer your Honours to write in defence of the late change of ministry and Parliament, much cheaper than they did for your predecessors, which your Honours were pleased to refuse.

"Notwithstanding which offer, your petitioners are under daily apprehension, that your Honours will forbid them to follow the said trade any longer; by which your petitioners, to the number of fourscore, with their wives and families, will inevitably starve, having been bound to no other calling.

"Your petitioners desire your Honours will tenderly consider the premisses, and suffer your said petitioners to continue their trade (those who set them at work, being still willing to employ them, though at lower rates) and your said petitioners will give security to make use of the same stuff, and dress it in the same manner, as they always did, and no other. And your petitioners" &c.

[Footnote 1: No. 45 in the reprint. [T.S.]]

[Footnote 2: In his "Journal to Stella," under date June 22nd, 1711, Swift writes: "Yesterday's was a sad 'Examiner,' and last week was very indifferent, though, some little scraps of the old spirit, as if he had given some hints; but yesterday's is all trash. It is plain the hand is changed." (vol. ii., p, 195).

On November 2nd he gives the following account: "I have sent to Leigh the set of 'Examiners'; the first thirteen were written by several hands; some good, some bad; the next three-and-thirty were all by one hand, that makes forty-six: then that author, whoever he was, laid it down on purpose to confound guessers; and the last six were written by a woman" (vol. ii., p. 273). [T.S.]]

[Footnote 3: Horace, "Satires," II. i. 45. "'Better not touch me, friend,' I loud exclaim."—P. FRANCIS. [T.S.]]

CONTRIBUTION TO "THE SPECTATOR."

NOTE.

"THE SPECTATOR," projected by Steele, assisted and made famous by Addison, was first started on March 1st, 1710/1, and continued to be issued daily until December 6th, 1712. An interval of eighteen months then occurred, during six of which these two writers were busy with "The Guardian." On June 18th, 1714, however, "The Spectator" was resumed, and appeared daily until its final number on December 20th of that year. As with "The Tatler," so with "The Spectator," its success proved too great a temptation to be resisted; so that we find a spurious "Spectator" also. This was begun on Monday, January 3rd, 1714/5, and concluded August 3rd of the same year. Its sixty numbers (for it was issued twice a week) were afterwards published as "The Spectator, volume ninth and last." The principal writer to this spurious edition was said to be Dr. George Sewell.

Of the contributions to Steele's "Spectator," by far the greater number were written by the projector and Addison. The other contributors were Eustace Budgell, John Hughes, John Byrom, Henry Grove, Thomas Parnell, "Orator" Henley, Dr. Zachary Pearce, Philip Yorke, and a few others whose identity is doubtful. Swift's contribution consisted of one paper only, and (probably) a single paragraph in another. [T.S.]

THE SPECTATOR, NUMB. L.[1]

FRIDAY, APRIL 27. 1711.

When the four Indian kings[3] were in this country about a twelvemonth ago, I often mixed with the rabble and followed them a whole day together, being wonderfully struck with the sight of everything that is new or uncommon. I have, since their departure, employed a friend to make many enquiries of their landlord the upholsterer[4] relating to their manners and conversation, as also concerning the remarks which they made in this country: for next to the forming a right notion of such strangers, I should be desirous of learning what ideas they have conceived of us.

The upholsterer finding my friend very inquisitive about these his lodgers, brought him some time since a little bundle of papers, which he assured him were written by King Sa Ga Yean Qua Rash Tow, and, as he supposes, left behind by some mistake. These papers are now translated, and contain abundance of very odd observations, which I find this little fraternity of kings made during their stay in the isle of Great Britain. I shall present my reader with a short specimen of them in this paper, and may perhaps communicate more to him hereafter. In the article of London are the following words, which without doubt are meant of the church of St. Paul.

"On the most rising part of the town there stands a huge house, big enough to contain the whole nation of which I am king. Our good brother E Tow O Koam king of the Rivers, is of opinion it was made by the hands of that great God to whom it is consecrated. The kings of Granajah and of the Six Nations believe that it was created with the earth, and produced on the same day with the sun and moon. But for my own part, by the best information that I could get of this matter, I am apt to think that this prodigious pile was fashioned into the shape it now bears by several tools and instruments; of which they have a wonderful variety in this country. It was probably at first an huge mis-shapen rock that grew upon the top of the hill, which the natives of the country (after having cut it into a kind of regular figure) bored and hollowed with incredible pains and industry, till they had wrought in it all those beautiful vaults and caverns into which it is divided at this day. As soon as this rock was thus curiously scooped to their liking, a prodigious number of hands must have been employed in chipping the outside of it, which is now as smooth as polished marble;[5] and is in several places hewn out into pillars that stand like the trunks of so many trees bound about the top with garlands of leaves. It is probable that when this great work was begun, which must have been many hundred years ago, there was some religion among this people; for they give it the name of a temple, and have a tradition that it was designed for men to pay their devotions in. And indeed, there are several reasons which make us think, that the natives of this Country had formerly among them some sort of worship; for they set apart every seventh day as sacred: but upon my going into one of those holy houses on that day, I could not observe any circumstance of devotion in their behaviour: There was indeed a man in black who was mounted above the rest, and seemed to utter something with a great deal of vehemence; but as for those underneath him, instead of paying their worship to the Deity of the place, they were most of them bowing and curtsying to one another, and a considerable number of them fast asleep.

"The Queen of the country appointed two men to attend us, that had enough of our language to make themselves understood in some few particulars. But we soon perceived these two were great enemies to one another, and did not always agree in the same story. We could make a shift to gather out of one of them, that this island was very much infested with a monstrous kind of animals, in the shape of men, called Whigs; and he often told us, that he hoped we should meet with none of them in our way, for that if we did, they would be apt to knock us down for being kings.

"Our other interpreter used to talk very much of a kind of animal called a Tory, that was as great a monster as the Whig, and would treat us as ill for being foreigners.[6] These two creatures, it seems, are born with a secret antipathy to one another, and engage when they meet as naturally as the elephant and the rhinoceros. But as we saw none of either of these species, we are apt to think that our guides deceived us with misrepresentations and fictions, and amused us with an account of such monsters as are not really in their country.

"These particulars we made a shift to pick out from the discourse of our interpreters; which we put together as well as we could, being able to understand but here and there a word of what they said, and afterwards making up the meaning of it among ourselves. The men of the country are very cunning and ingenious in handicraft works; but withal so very idle, that we often saw young lusty raw-boned fellows carried up and down the streets in little covered rooms by a couple of porters who are hired for that service. Their dress is likewise very barbarous, for they almost strangle themselves about the neck, and bind their bodies with many ligatures, that we are apt to think are the occasion of several distempers among them which our country is entirely free from. Instead of those beautiful feathers with which we adorn our heads, they often buy up a monstrous bush of hair, which covers their heads, and falls down in a large fleece below the middle of their backs; with which they walk up and down the streets, and are as proud of it as if it was of their own growth.

"We were invited to one of their public diversions, where we hoped to have seen the great men of their country running down a stag or pitching a bar, that we might have discovered who were the men of the greatest perfections in their country;[7] but instead of that, they conveyed us into an huge room lighted up with abundance of candles, where this lazy people sat still above three hours to see several feats of ingenuity performed by others, who it seems were paid for it.

"As for the women of the country, not being able to talk with them, we could only make our remarks upon them at a distance. They let the hair of their heads grow to a great length; but as the men make a great show with heads of hair that are none of their own, the women, who they say have very fine heads of hair, tie it up in a knot and cover it from being seen. The women look like angels, and would be more beautiful than the sun, were it not for little black spots[8] that are apt to break out in their faces, and sometimes rise in very odd figures. I have observed that those little blemishes wear off very soon; but when they disappear in one part of the face, they are very apt to break out in another, insomuch that I have seen a spot upon the forehead in the afternoon, which was upon the chin in the morning."

The author then proceeds to shew the absurdity of breeches and petticoats, with many other curious observations, which I shall reserve for another occasion. I cannot however conclude this paper without taking notice, that amidst these wild remarks there now and then appears something very reasonable. I cannot likewise forbear observing, that we are all guilty in some measure of the same narrow way of thinking which we meet with in this abstract of the Indian journal; when we fancy the customs, dresses, and manners of other countries are ridiculous and extravagant, if they do not resemble those of our own.[9]

[Footnote 1: On March 16th, 1711, Swift writes to Stella: "Have you seen the 'Spectator' yet, a paper that comes out every day? 'Tis written by Mr. Steele, who seems to have gathered new life, and have a new fund of wit; it is in the same nature as his 'Tatlers,' and they have all of them had something pretty. I believe Addison and he club." On April 28th he writes again: "'The Spectator' is written by Steele with Addison's help: 'tis often very pretty. Yesterday it was made of a noble hint I gave him long ago for his 'Tatlers,' about an Indian supposed to write his travels into England. I repent he ever had it. I intended to have written a book on that subject. I believe he has spent it all in one paper, and all the under hints there are mine too" (vol. ii., pp. 139 and 166 of present edition). [T.S.]]

[Footnote 2: Juvenal, "Satires," xiv. 321.

[Footnote 3: Steele's paper on the four Indian kings appeared in "The Tatler" for May 13th, 1710 (No. 171):—"Who can convince the world that four kings shall come over here, and He at the Two Crowns and Cushion, and one of them fall sick, and the place be called King Street, and all this by mere accident?"—The so-called kings were four Iroquois chiefs who came over to see Queen Anne. The Queen saw them on April 19th, 1710. During their visit here Colonel Schuyler and Colonel Francis Nicholson were appointed to attend them. [T.S.]]

[Footnote 4: They lodged over the shop of Mr. Arne—father of Dr. Arne and Mrs. Cibber—in King Street, Covent Garden. [T.S.]]

[Footnote 5: The edition of 1712 has, "as the surface of a pebble." [T.S.]]

[Footnote 6: In "The Tatler" for February 4th, 1709/10 (No. 129), Steele prints a letter from "Pasquin of Rome," in which he says: "It would also be very acceptable here to receive an account of those two religious orders which are lately sprung up amongst you, the Whigs and the Tories, with the points of doctrine, severities in discipline, penances, mortifications, and good works, by which they differ one from another." [T.S.]]

[Footnote 7: The edition of 1712 has: "the persons of the greatest abilities among them." [T.S.]]

[Footnote 8: See "The Spectator," No. 81, and "The Examiner," No. 32. The "black spots" are the patches ladies stuck on their faces. [T.S.]]

[Footnote 9: This paper is signed "C.", in the edition of 1712, which is one of the signatures used by Addison. See, however, Swift's "Journal," quoted above. [T.S.]]

[The following paragraph in "The Spectator," No. 575 Monday, August 2. 1714. is believed to have been contributed by Swift.]

"The following question is started by one of the schoolmen. Supposing the whole body of the earth were a great ball or mass of the finest sand, and that a single grain or particle of this sand should be annihilated every thousand years. Supposing then that you had it in your choice to be happy all the while this prodigious mass of sand was consuming by this slow method till there was not a grain of it left, on condition you were to be miserable for ever after; or, supposing that you might be happy for ever after, on condition you would be miserable till the whole mass of sand were thus annihilated at the rate of one sand in a thousand years: Which of these two cases would you make your choice?"

CONTRIBUTIONS TO "THE INTELLIGENCER."

NOTE.

"THE INTELLIGENCER" was published in Dublin, commencing May 11th, 1728, and continued for nineteen numbers. On June 12th, 1731, Swift, writing to Pope, gives some account of its inception, and the amount of writing he did for it: "Two or three of us had a fancy, three years ago, to write a weekly paper, and call it an 'Intelligencer.' But it continued not long; for the whole volume (it was reprinted in London, and I find you have seen it) was the work only of two, myself, and Dr. Sheridan. If we could have got some ingenious young man to have been the manager, who should have published all that might be sent him, it might have continued longer, for there were hints enough. But the printer here could not afford such a young man one farthing for his trouble, the sale being so small, and the price one halfpenny; and so it dropped. In the volume you saw, (to answer your questions,) the 1, 3, 5, 7, were mine. Of the 8th I writ only the verses, (very uncorrect, but against a fellow we all hated [Richard Tighe],) the 9th mine, the 10th only the verses, and of those not the four last slovenly lines; the 15th is a pamphlet of mine printed before, with Dr. Sheridan's preface, merely for laziness, not to disappoint the town: and so was the 19th, which contains only a parcel of facts relating purely to the miseries of Ireland, and wholly useless and unentertaining" (Scott's edition, xvii. 375-6).

Of the contributions thus acknowledged, Nos. 1, 3, and 19 are reprinted here from the original edition; Nos. 5 and 7 were included by Pope in the fourth volume of "Miscellanies," under the title "An Essay on the Fates of Clergymen"; No. 9 he entitled "An Essay on Modern Education"; No. 15 was a reprint of the pamphlet "A Short View of the State of Ireland"— these will be found in this edition under the above titles. The verses in No. 8 ("Mad Mullinix and Timothy") and in No. 10 ("Tim and the Fables") are in Swift's "Poems," Aldine edition, vol. iii., pp. 132-43.

The nineteen numbers of "The Intelligencer" were collected and published in one volume, which was reprinted in London in 1729, "and sold by A. Moor in St. Paul's Church-yard." Monck Mason never saw a copy of the London reprint referred to by Swift. He had in his possession the original papers; "they are twenty in number," he says; "the last is double." The second London edition, published in 12mo in 1730, as "printed for Francis Cogan, at the Middle-Temple-Gate in Fleet-street," includes No. 20, "Dean Smedley, gone to seek his Fortune," and also a poem, "The Pheasant and the Lark. A Fable." In the poem, several writers are compared to birds, Swift being the nightingale:

The poem was written by Swift's friend, Dr. Delany. The title-page of this second edition ascribes the authorship, "By the Author of a Tale of a Tub."

"The Intelligencer," in the words of W. Monck Mason, "served as a vehicle of satire against the Dean's political and literary enemies; of these the chief were, Richard Tighe, Sir Thomas Prendergast, and Jonathan Smedley, Dean of Clogher" ("Hist, and Antiq. of St. Patrick's," pp. 376-7). [T.S.]