I. GREETING
AND VERILY, A WOMAN
NEED KNOW BUT ONE
MAN WELL, IN ORDER
TO UNDERSTAND ALL
MEN; WHEREAS A MAN
MAY KNOW ALL WOMEN
AND UNDERSTAND NOT
ONE OF THEM
GREETING
Hearken, my Daughter, and give ear unto my wisdom, that thou mayest understand man—his goings and his comings, his stayings out and his return in the morning, his words of honey and his ways of guile.
Beloved, question me not, whence I have learned of man, his secrets. Have I not known one man well? And verily, a woman need know but one man, in order to understand all men; whereas a man may know all women and understand not one of them.
For men are of but one pattern, whereof thou needest but to discover the secret combination; but women are as the Yale lock—no two of them are alike.
Lo! What a paradox is man—even a puzzle which worketh backward!
He mistaketh a sweet scent for a sweet disposition, and a subtile sachet for a subtile mind.
He voweth, “I admire a discreet woman!”—and inviteth the froward blonde of the chorus to supper.
He muttereth unto his wife, “Lo! I will go unto the corner for a cigar”—and behold, he wandereth unto many corners and returneth by a circular route.
He kisseth the woman whom he loveth not, and avoideth her whom he loveth, lest his heart become entangled. Yea, he seeketh always the wrong woman that he may forget his heart’s desire.
Yet, whichever he weddeth, he regretteth it all the days of his life.
SELAH.