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The speaker's ideal entertainments

Chapter 107: “Swore Off.”
By George M. Vickers
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About This Book

A curated anthology of recitations, dialogues, and short dramas compiled for use in home, church, and school entertainments, accompanied by practical annotations on gesture, dramatic poses, and delivery. Selections include newly obtained manuscripts and engraved illustrations, and introductory guidance defines a system of hand positions and movement directions to shape expressive action. Hints on staging, tasteful modulation, and the distinctions between emphatic and conversational gestures aim to help novices and trained elocutionists alike, making the collection a hands-on resource for developing vocal technique and coordinated physical expression.

“Swore Off.”

This piece won the class medal at the Ninth Annual Commencement of the Mt. Vernon Institute of Elocution and Languages, 1892.

Sit on chair at right side of a common table.

Boys, take another![1409] To-night we’ll be gay,
For to-morrow, you know, is the New Year’s Day,
And I promised my Bessie to-night should be
The very last night I stayed on this spree.
I’ve been a good fellow—spent lots of “tin”
In sampling and drinking both whiskey and gin;
And yet I remember,[1410] a long while ago,
When the sight of a drunken man frightened me so.
I ran for a square.[1411] I remember quite well
When I even detested[1412] the very smell
Of the accursed stuff. I sometimes think
’Twas the devil[1413] who tempted me to take the first drink.
But why look back with remorse or regret?
I mustn’t remember[1414]—I want to forget.
[1415]Landlord, the bottle![1416] That’s pretty good stuff;
Though I reckon I’ve seen and tasted enough.
It’s a year since I’ve drawn a sober breath.
The doctors all say I will go to my death
If I do not leave off—you may laugh and scoff;
But somehow or other, between me and you,
I believe what the doctors tell me is true,
For at night when I try to be closing my eyes,
Such horrible visions[1417] before me arise
That I cannot rest, and I walk[1418] the floor
And long for the sleep that is mine no more.
To-night it winds up. Laugh on,[1419] but you’ll see[1420]
That this is the very last night of my spree.
I’ve promised my Bessie, and further, I swore—
She’s got the paper—to taste it no more
After to-night. When I told her I’d sign,
The look on her face made me think of the time
When she stood at the altar,[1421] a beautiful bride,
And I looked on my choice with a good deal of pride.
Ah! many’s the time since I’ve been on this spree,
I’ve seen this good woman get down[1422] on her knee
And ask God, in His goodness, have mercy on me.
To-night it ends up. Do you hear[1423] what I say?—
I’m a man[1424] once again from the New Year’s Day.
Take one with you? Why, I certainly will—[1425]
To-night is my last, and I’ll be drinking my fill.
“Good luck and good health!”—[1426] strange wishes to make
O’er each glass of whiskey and gin that we take.
Good luck! Well, now, fellows, be still,[1427] and we’ll see
The good luck I’ve had since I started this spree.
What with losing the job where I first learned my trade—
I’ve had twenty since, and I’m much afraid
The reason for losing them all is this glass.[1428]
The story of shame and disgrace let us pass;[1429]
I’ll sum up the whole. You all know[1430] it’s true
I could own a nice home—now the rent’s overdue,
Yet, during this time—it is true,[1431] what I say—
I wished myself luck at least ten times a day,
And as for good health! Now, do you think it right,[1432]
When you know it’s destroying your appetite,
To call it good health? Why, I’ve not tasted food
For days at a time. Do you call my health good?
One with the landlord?[1433] To be sure, ev’ry time—
His till has held many a dollar of mine.
Come! set up the poison! To-night is the last—
Then I’ll look upon rum as a thing of the past[1434]
Well, here’s to you,[1435] land— Ah! you’d play me a trick![1436]
Take off[1437] that red wig with the horns very quick,
Or I’ll put down this glass and be leaving the place.
Boys, look[1438] at the way he’s distorting his face!
Look![1439] look![1440] it’s the devil—a good masquerade[1441]
For those who engage in the rum-selling trade.
Go on[1442] with the game!—you’ll find I’m not afraid—
Ha, ha, ha, ha! at your by-play I scoff—
Whose blood-hound is this?[1443] Keep him off![1444] Keep him off![1445]
Get out,[1446] you big brute! Don’t you fellows see[1447]
He’s wicked? Will bite? That he’s snapping at me?
My God![1448] see his fangs! all reeking with gore—
[1449]Help! landlord, help! fell[1450] this brute to the floor.
Ah! he’s gone! Take another![1451] my nerves are unstrung,
Quick! Give me the bottle[1452] ere the midnight is rung,
[1453]Ah! whiskey’s[1454] the stuff that will make me feel gay,
And I’ve said I’ve sworn off from the New Year’s Day—
Quick! give me the bottle! Curse you![1455] don’t refuse,
Or I’ll pull you apart,[1456] if my temper I lose—
Now give me a glass! Come, boys, take a drink![1457]
It’s the last you’ll be taking with me, so I think—
O God! what is this?[1458] See, boys—it’s a snake!
Look! the bottle is full—hear the hissing they make—
They crawl[1459] from its neck. For God’s sake, a drink!
Thanks! Boys, here’s luck![1460]
(Midnight hour strikes.)
’Tis the New Year, I think.
My oath[1461]—yes my oath! Is this sound I hear[1462]
The hour of midnight? Aye, it is the New Year.
(Throws glass from him.)
Begone from my sight, thou demon of hell!
Boys, here they come![1463] there they go! Ah, the spell
Is o’er. I’m afire![1464] See! It shoots[1465] from my eyes!
I am burning within![1466] There[1467] the red demon lies.
What angel is this?[1468] ’Tis my Bessie to see
If my word has been kept about ending this spree—
No, no, it is black![1469] ’Tis the devil’s device—
He’s claiming a soul as a sacrifice.
Great God! Is this death?[1470] The blood-hound again!
Take him off![1471] Take him off![1472] Do I call you in vain?
He clutches my throat[1473]—he chokes out my life![1474]
Won’t some of you fellows go after my wife?
Must I die here alone? See! they beckon to me.
Oh! if Bessie, my heart-broken wife, could but see
That I kept my word. Won’t—you—kindly—say
I “swore off” for good on the New Year’s Day.[1475]
—J. N. Fort.

Gestures.