No. 224. [Addison.
From Tuesday, Sept. 12, to Thursday, Sept. 14, 1710.
Materiam superabat opus.—Ovid, Met. ii. 5.
From my own Apartment, Sept. 13.
It is my custom, in a dearth of news, to entertain myself with those collections of advertisements that appear at the end of all our public prints.[87] These I consider as accounts of news from the little world, in the same manner that the foregoing parts of the paper are from the great. If in one we hear that a sovereign prince is fled from his capital city, in the other we hear of a tradesman who hath shut up his shop, and run away. If in one we find the victory of a general, in the other we see the desertion of a private soldier. I must confess, I have a certain weakness in my temper that is often very much affected by these little domestic occurrences, and have frequently been caught with tears in my eyes over a melancholy advertisement.
But to consider this subject in its most ridiculous lights, advertisements are of great use to the vulgar: first of all, as they are instruments of ambition. A man that is by no means big enough for the Gazette, may easily creep into the advertisements; by which means we often see an apothecary in the same paper of news with a plenipotentiary, or a running-footman with an ambassador. An advertisement from Piccadilly[88] goes down to posterity with an article from Madrid; and John Bartlet[89] of Goodman's Fields is celebrated in the same paper with the Emperor of Germany. Thus the fable tells us, that the wren mounted as high as the eagle, by getting upon his back.
A second use which this sort of writings have been turned to of late years, has been the management of controversy, insomuch that above half the advertisements one meets with nowadays are purely polemical. The inventors of Strops for Razors[90] have written against one another this way for several years, and that with great bitterness; as the whole argument pro and con in the case of the Morning-gowns[91] is still carried on after the same manner. I need not mention the several proprietors of Dr. Anderson's pills;[92] nor take notice of the many satirical works of this nature so frequently published by Dr. Clark,[93] who has had the confidence to advertise upon that learned knight, my very worthy friend, Sir William Read.[94] But I shall not interpose in their quarrel; Sir William can give him his own in advertisements, that, in the judgment of the impartial, are as well penned as the doctor's.
The third and last use of these writings is, to inform the world where they may be furnished with almost everything that is necessary for life. If a man has pains in his head, colics in his bowels, or spots in his clothes, he may here meet with proper cures and remedies. If a man would recover a wife or a horse that is stolen or strayed; if he wants new sermons, electuaries,[95] ass's milk,[96] or anything else, either for his body or his mind, this is the place to look for them in.
The great art in writing advertisements, is the finding out a proper method to catch the reader's eye; without which, a good thing may pass over unobserved, or be lost among commissions of bankrupt. Asterisks and hands were formerly of great use for this purpose. Of late years, the N.B. has been much in fashion; as also little cuts and figures, the invention of which we must ascribe to the author of Spring Trusses. I must not here omit the blind Italian character, which being scarce legible, always fixes and detains the eye, and gives the curious reader something like the satisfaction of prying into a secret.
But the great skill in an advertiser is chiefly seen in the style which he makes use of. He is to mention the universal esteem, or general reputation, of things that were never heard of. If he is a physician or astrologer, he must change his lodgings frequently, and (though he never saw anybody in them besides his own family) give public notice of it, for the information of the nobility and gentry. Since I am thus usefully employed in writing criticisms on the works of these diminutive authors, I must not pass over in silence an advertisement which has lately made its appearance, and is written altogether in a Ciceronian manner. It was sent to me, with five shillings, to be inserted among my advertisements; but as it is a pattern of good writing in this way, I shall give it a place in the body of my paper:
"The highest compounded spirit of lavender, the most glorious (if the expression may be used) enlivening scent and flavour that can possibly be, which so raptures the spirits, delights the gust, and gives such airs to the countenance, as are not to be imagined but by those that have tried it. The meanest sort of the thing is admired by most gentlemen and ladies; but this far more, as by far it exceeds it, to the gaining among all a more than common esteem. It is sold (in neat flint bottles fit for the pocket) only at the Golden Key, in Warton's Court, near Holborn Bars, for 3s. 6d. with directions."
At the same time that I recommend the several flowers in which this spirit of lavender is wrapped up (if the expression may be used), I cannot excuse my fellow-labourers for admitting into their papers several uncleanly advertisements, not at all proper to appear in the works of polite writers. Among these I must reckon the Carminative Wind-expelling Pills.[97] If the doctor had called them only his carminative pills, he had been as cleanly as one could have wished; but the second word entirely destroys the decency of the first. There are other absurdities of this nature so very gross, that I dare not mention them; and shall therefore dismiss this subject, with a public admonition to Michael Parrot,[98] that he do not presume any more to mention a certain worm he knows of, which, by the way, has grown seven foot in my memory; for, if I am not much mistaken, it is the same that was but nine foot long about six months ago.
By the remarks I have here made, it plainly appears, that a collection of advertisements is a kind of miscellany; the writers of which, contrary to all authors, except men of quality, give money to the booksellers who publish their copies. The genius of the bookseller is chiefly shown in his method of ranging and digesting these little tracts. The last paper I took up in my hands, places them in the following order:
A Commission of Bankrupt being awarded against B. L., Bookseller, &c.[105]
FOOTNOTES:
[87] Addison wrote again on advertisements, in the Spectator (No. 547).
[88] "At the Golden Cupid, in Piccadilly, lives the widow Varick, who is leaving off her trade, hath some statues and boys, and a considerable parcel of flower-pots and vases second-hand, to be sold a great pennyworth" (Post-Man, September 16-19, 1710).
[89] Bartlet, "at the Golden Ball, by the Ship Tavern, in Prescot Street, in Goodman's Fields," advertised inventions for the cure of ruptures; "also divers instruments to help the weak and crooked." "His mother, the wife of the late Mr. Christopher Bartlet, lives at the place above mentioned, who is very skilful in the business to those of her own sex" (Tatler, No. 70). There was also an S. Bartlet, at the Naked Boy, in Dean Street, Red Lion Square, who carried on a similar business (Post-Man, September 2-5, 1710).
[90] "The so much-famed strops for setting razors, &c., are only to be had at Jacob's Coffee-house, in Threadneedle Street, with directions. Price 1s. each. Beware of counterfeits, for such are abroad. The trues ones, which deservedly have gained so much commendation, are only to be had as above. Golden snuff still to be had there, 6d. per paper" (Post-Man, March 23, 1703). Steele alluded twice to the author of "strops for razors" in the Spectator (Nos. 428 and 509). In No. 423 of the Spectator there was an advertisement of "the famous original Venetian strops." Swift, referring to rival imitations of the Tatler published in January 1711, says, "So there must be disputes which are genuine, like the strops for razors."
[91] "Morning gowns of men and women, of silks, stuffs, and calicoes (being the goods of persons that failed), which were to be disposed of at the Olive Tree and Still, are now to be sold at the Golden Sugar Loaf, up one pair of stairs, over against the Horse, at Charing Cross; with a fresh parcel at very low rates, the price being set on each gown" (Tatler, No. 222). A similar advertisement from "the Black Lion, over against Foster Lane, Cheapside" (Examiner, December 7-14, 1710).
[92] See No. 9. "The Scots Pills first made by Dr. Patrick Anderson, of the kingdom of Scotland, I John Gray do most faithfully and truly prepare, according to the doctor's method in his lifetime, and sell them as he sold them, that is, 5s. the whole box, 2s. 6d. the half box, 15d. the quarter box. Take notice, my pill has not that griping quality that is in the pill of a perpetual vain-boaster, whose pretended authority can never better the doctor's receipt who first invented them; the true knowledge whereof is in myself, as by my receipt, and further testimony of many famous doctors in this kingdom, it most plainly appears.... These pills are sold at my house, the Golden Head, between the Little Turnstile and the Bull Inn, in High Holborn. Signed, John Gray"(Post-Boy, January 3, 1699). "Dr. Anderson's, or the famous Scots Pills, are (by his Majesty's authority) faithfully prepared only by J. Inglish, now living at the Golden Unicorn, over against the Maypole, in the Strand; and to prevent counterfeits from Scotland, as well as in and about London, you are desired to take notice, that the true pills have their boxes sealed on the top (in black wax), with a lion rampant and three mullets argent; Dr. Anderson's head betwixt J. J., with his name round it, and Isabella Inglish underneath it in a scroll" (Post-Man, January 9, 1700). "The right Scotch Pills, made by the heirs of Dr. Anderson in Scotland, are to be had of Mrs. Man, at Old Man's Coffee-house, Charing Cross" (Post-Man, October 23, 1703).
[93] Dr. Clark, "sworn physician and oculist to King Charles and King James II.," advertised that his "ophthalmic secret" could be had from his house in Old Southampton Buildings, Holborn (Post-Man, August 24-26, 1710).
[94] See No. 9.
[95] "A noble electuary, which ... makes the heart merry, restores, strengthens, and adds life, courage, and vigour to either men or women, to a miracle.... Is to be had only at Mr. Spooner's, at the Golden Half Moon, in Lemon Street, in Goodman's Fields, at 5s. a pot, with directions" (Daily Courant, September 15, 1710).
[96] "Ass's milk to be had at Richard Stout's, at the sign of the Ass, at Knightsbridge, for three shillings and sixpence per quart; the ass to be brought to the buyer's door" (Post-Boy, December 6, 1711).
[97] This and other similar advertisements appeared in the Daily Courant for September 6, 1710.
[98] "Whereas I, Michael Parrot, have had brought away a worm of sixteen feet long, by taking the medicines of J. Moore, apothecary, in Abchurch Lane, London; witness my hand, Michael Parrot. Witness, Anth. Spyer" (Post-Boy, April 27-29, 1710).
[99] The True Spanish Blacking was advertised in opposition to "London Fucus for Shoes."
[100] "An incomparable beautifying cream for the face, neck, and hands; takes away all freckles, spots, pimples, wrinkles, roughness, scurf, yellowness, sun-burning; renders the skin admirably clear, fair, and beautiful; has an excellent pretty scent; is very safe and harmless, and vastly transcends all other things; for it truly nourishes the skin, making it instantly look plump, fresh, smooth, and delicately fair, though before wrinkled and discoloured. Sold only at Mr. Lawrence's Toy Shop at the Griffin, the corner of the Poultry near Cheapside, at 2s. 6d. a gallipot, with directions" (Tatler, No. 140).
[101] "Nectar and Ambrosia, the highest cordial in the world, being prepared from the richest spices, herbs, and flowers, and drawn from right brandy, comforting the stomach, immediately digesting anything that offends, cherishing the heart, fortifying the brain, and so cheers the spirits, that it makes the whole body lively, brisk, and vigorous. This is the cordial dram that the Czar of Muscovy so highly approved of. Sold in 1s. and 2s. bottles by some one person in many cities and county towns; and by wholesale by J. Hows, in Ram-head Innyard, Fenchurch Street, London" (Merlinus Liberatus; Partridge's Almanac for 1699).
[102] "Twenty freehold tenements to be sold, lying in Wapping.... Inquire at the Union Coffee-house, at King Edward's Stairs, in Wapping" (Tatler, No. 215).
[103] "Anglia Notitia; or, The Present State of England," was begun by Edward Chamberlayn in 1669, and was continued for a number of years by his son, John Chamberlayn, who died in 1724.
[104] "This day is published, 'Learned Annotations on the Tatler,' Part I. Printed for B. Lintott" (Daily Courant, August 31, 1710).
[105] I cannot find any notice in the London Gazette or elsewhere of the bankruptcy of Bernard Lintott, who is no doubt here referred to. It almost seems as if Addison inserted the initials of the flourishing bookseller in retaliation for the publication by Lintott of the satirical "Annotations on the Tatler."