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The Works of Thomas Hood; Vol. 01 (of 11) / Comic and Serious, in Prose and Verse, With All the Original Illustrations cover

The Works of Thomas Hood; Vol. 01 (of 11) / Comic and Serious, in Prose and Verse, With All the Original Illustrations

Chapter 102: PAIR’D NOT MATCH’D.
By Thomas Hood
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British LiteratureEssays, Letters & SpeechesHumourPoetry

About This Book

The collection presents comic and serious verse and prose by a single author, assembled with editorial prefaces and notes that trace development and textual variants. It juxtaposes playful sketches, whimsical essays and illustrative woodcuts with sober lyrics and social commentary that address domestic hardship and labor. Included are fugitive articles, occasional dramatic fragments, and lighter narrative pieces, all ordered to suggest the writer’s growth. The tone ranges from satire and buffoonery to poignant moral reflection, using concise rhymes, narrative sketches, and clear, accessible language aimed at general readers.

PAIR’D NOT MATCH’D.

OF wedded bliss
Bards sing amiss,
I cannot make a song of it;
For I am small,
My wife is tall,
And that’s the short and long of it.
When we debate
It is my fate
To always have the wrong of it;
For I am small,
And she is tall,
And that’s the short and long of it!
And when I speak
My voice is weak,
But hers—she makes a gong of it!
For I am small,
And she is tall,
And that’s the short and long of it!

RUNNING COUNTER.

She has, in brief,
Command in Chief,
And I’m but Aide-de-camp of it;
For I am small,
And she is tall,
And that’s the short and long of it!
She gives to me
The weakest tea,
And takes the whole Souchong of it;
For I am small,
And she is tall,
And that’s the short and long of it!

LONG COMMONS AND SHORT COMMONS.

She’ll sometimes grip
My buggy whip,
And make me feel the thong of it!
For I am small,
And she is tall,
And that’s the short and long of it!
Against my life
She’ll take a knife,
Or fork, and dart the prong of it;
For I am small,
And she is tall,
And that’s the short and long of it!
I sometimes think
I’ll take to drink,
And hector when I’m strong of it;
For I am small,
And she is tall,
And that’s the short and long of it!
O, if the bell
Would ring her knell,
I’d make a gay ding-dong of it;
For I am small,
And she is tall,
And that’s the short and long of it!

 “Man wants but little here below,
Nor wants that little long.”