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The Works of Thomas Hood; Vol. 01 (of 11) / Comic and Serious, in Prose and Verse, With All the Original Illustrations cover

The Works of Thomas Hood; Vol. 01 (of 11) / Comic and Serious, in Prose and Verse, With All the Original Illustrations

Chapter 74: THE GHOST. A VERY SERIOUS BALLAD.
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About This Book

The collection presents comic and serious verse and prose by a single author, assembled with editorial prefaces and notes that trace development and textual variants. It juxtaposes playful sketches, whimsical essays and illustrative woodcuts with sober lyrics and social commentary that address domestic hardship and labor. Included are fugitive articles, occasional dramatic fragments, and lighter narrative pieces, all ordered to suggest the writer’s growth. The tone ranges from satire and buffoonery to poignant moral reflection, using concise rhymes, narrative sketches, and clear, accessible language aimed at general readers.

THE GHOST.
A VERY SERIOUS BALLAD.


“I’ll be your second.”—LISTON.


IN Middle Row, some years ago,
There lived one Mr. Brown;
And many folks considered him
The stoutest man in Town.
But Brown and stout will both wear out,
One Friday he died hard,
And left a widow’d wife to mourn
At twenty pence a yard.
Now widow B. in two short months
Thought mourning quite a tax;
And wished, like Mr. Wilberforce,
To manumit her blacks.
With Mr. Street she soon was sweet;
The thing thus came about,
She asked him in at home, and then
At church he asked her out!
Assurance such as this the man
In ashes could not stand;
So like a Phœnix he rose up
Against the Hand in Hand.
One dreary night the angry sprite
Appeared before her view;
It came a little after one,
But she was after two!
“Oh Mrs. B., oh Mrs. B.!
Are these your sorrow’s deeds,
Already getting up a flame,
To burn your widow’s weeds?
“It’s not so long since I have left
For aye the mortal scene;
My memory—like Roger’s,
Should still be bound in green!
“Yet if my face you still retrace
I almost have a doubt—
I’m like an old For-get-me-Not,
With all the leaves torn out!
“To think that on that finger-joint,
Another pledge should cling;
O Bess! upon my very soul,
It struck like ‘Knock and Ring.’
“A ton of marble on my breast
Can’t hinder my return;
Your conduct, Ma’am, has set my blood
A-boiling in my urn!
“Remember on! remember how
The marriage rite did run—
If ever we one flesh should be,
’Tis now—when I have none!
“And you, Sir—once a bosom friend—
Of perjured faith convict,
As ghostly too can give no blow,
Consider you are kick’d.
“A hollow voice is all I have,
But this I tell you plain,
Marry come up!—you marry, Ma’am,
And I’ll come up again.”
More he had said, but chanticleer
The spritely shade did shock
With sudden crow, and off he went,
Like fowling-piece at cock!

COCK OF THE WALK.