FRENCH AND ENGLISH.
“Good Heaven! Why even the little children in France speak French!”—ADDISON.
I.
NEVER go to France
Unless you know the lingo,
If you do, like me,
You will repent by jingo.
Staring like a fool,
And silent as a mummy,
There I stood alone,
A nation with a dummy.
Chaises stand for chairs,
They christen letters Billies,
They call their mothers mares,
And all their daughters fillies;
Strange it was to hear,
I’ll tell you what’s a good ’un,
They call their leather queer,
And half their shoes are wooden.
III.
Signs I had to make
For every little notion,
Limbs all going like
A telegraph in motion;
For wine I reel’d about,
To show my meaning fully,
And made a pair of horns,
To ask for “beef and bully.”
IV.
Moo! I cried for milk;
I got my sweet things snugger,
When I kissed Jeannette,
’Twas understood for sugar.
If I wanted bread,
My jaws I set a-going,
And asked for new-laid eggs,
By clapping hands and crowing?
V.
If I wish’d a ride,
I’ll tell you how I got it;
On my stick astride,
I made believe to trot it;
Then their cash was strange,
It bored me every minute,
Now here’s a hog to change,
How many sows are in it?
VI.
Never go to France,
Unless you know the lingo;
If you do, like me,
You will repent, by jingo;
Staring like a fool,
And silent as a mummy,
There I stood alone,
A nation with a dummy!