The Works of William Shakespeare [Cambridge Edition] [Vol. 4 of 9]

King. Lords, give us leave; the Prince of Wales and I [2727]
Must have some private conference: but be near at hand,[2727][2728]
For we shall presently have need of you. [Exeunt Lords.
I know not whether God will have it so,[2729]
For some displeasing service I have done,5
That, in his secret doom, out of my blood
He'll breed revengement and a scourge for me;
But thou dost in thy passages of life [2730]
Make me believe that thou art only mark'd
For the hot vengeance and the rod of heaven10
To punish my mistreadings. Tell me else,
Could such inordinate and low desires,
Such poor, such bare, such lewd, such mean attempts,[2731]
Such barren pleasures, rude society,
As thou art match'd withal and grafted to,[2732]15
Accompany the greatness of thy blood
And hold their level with thy princely heart?

Prince. So please your majesty, I would I could [2733]
Quit all offences with as clear excuse
As well as I am doubtless I can purge20
Myself of many I am charged withal:
Yet such extenuation let me beg,
As, in reproof of many tales devised,[2734]
Which oft the ear of greatness needs must hear,
By smiling pick-thanks and base newsmongers,25
I may, for some things true, wherein my youth
Hath faulty wander'd and irregular,
Find pardon on my true submission.

King. God pardon thee! yet let me wonder, Harry,[2735]
At thy affections, which do hold a wing30
Quite from the flight of all thy ancestors.
Thy place in council thou hast rudely lost,
Which by thy younger brother is supplied,
And art almost an alien to the hearts
Of all the court and princes of my blood:35
The hope and expectation of thy time
Is ruin'd, and the soul of every man
Prophetically do forethink thy fall.[2736]
Had I so lavish of my presence been,
So common-hackney'd in the eyes of men,40
So stale and cheap to vulgar company,
Opinion, that did help me to the crown,
Had still kept loyal to possession
And left me in reputeless banishment,
A fellow of no mark nor likelihood.45
By being seldom seen, I could not stir [2737]
But like a comet I was wonder'd at;
That men would tell their children 'This is he;'
Others would say 'Where, which is Bolingbroke?'
And then I stole all courtesy from heaven,50
And dress'd myself in such humility
That I did pluck allegiance from men's hearts,
Loud shouts and salutations from their mouths,
Even in the presence of the crowned king.[2738]
Thus did I keep my person fresh and new;[2739]55
My presence, like a robe pontifical,
Ne'er seen but wonder'd at: and so my state,
Seldom but sumptuous, showed like a feast
And wan by rareness such solemnity.[2740]
The skipping king, he ambled up and down60
With shallow jesters and rash bavin wits,[2741]
Soon kindled and soon burnt; carded his state,[2742]
Mingled his royalty with capering fools,[2743]
Had his great name profaned with their scorns
And gave his countenance, against his name,65
To laugh at gibing boys and stand the push [2744]
Of every beardless vain comparative,
Grew a companion to the common streets,
Enfeoff'd himself to popularity;[2745]
That, being daily swallow'd by men's eyes,70
They surfeited with honey and began [2746]
To loathe the taste of sweetness, whereof a little[2746][2747]
More than a little is by much too much.
So when he had occasion to be seen,
He was but as the cuckoo is in June,75
Heard, not regarded; seen, but with such eyes
As, sick and blunted with community,
Afford no extraordinary gaze,[2748]
Such as is bent on sun-like majesty
When it shines seldom in admiring eyes;80
But rather drowzed and hung their eyelids down,[2749]
Slept in his face and render'd such aspect [2750]
As cloudy men use to their adversaries,[2751]
Being with his presence glutted, gorged and full.
And in that very line, Harry, standest thou;[2752]85
For thou hast lost thy princely privilege
With vile participation: not an eye
But is a-weary of thy common sight,
Save mine, which hath desired to see thee more;
Which now doth that I would not have it do,[2753]90
Make blind itself with foolish tenderness.

Prince. I shall hereafter, my thrice gracious lord,
Be more myself.

King. For all the world [2754]
As thou art to this hour was Richard then [2755]
When I from France set foot at Ravenspurgh,[2756]95
And even as I was then is Percy now.
Now, by my sceptre and my soul to boot,
He hath more worthy interest to the state [2757]
Than thou the shadow of succession;[2758]
For of no right, nor colour like to right,100
He doth fill fields with harness in the realm,
Turns head against the lion's armed jaws,
And, being no more in debt to years than thou,
Leads ancient lords and reverend bishops on [2759]
To bloody battles and to bruising arms.105
What never-dying honour hath he got
Against renowned Douglas! whose high deeds,[2760]
Whose hot incursions and great name in arms
Holds from all soldiers chief majority [2761]
And military title capital110
Through all the kingdoms that acknowledge Christ:
Thrice hath this Hotspur, Mars in swathling clothes,[2762]
This infant warrior, in his enterprizes
Discomfited great Douglas, ta'en him once,[2763]
Enlarged him and made a friend of him,115
To fill the mouth of deep defiance up [2764]
And shake the peace and safety of our throne.
And what say you to this? Percy, Northumberland,
The Archbishop's grace of York, Douglas, Mortimer,[2765]
Capitulate against us and are up.120
But wherefore do I tell these news to thee?
Why, Harry, do I tell thee of my foes,
Which art my near'st and dearest enemy?[2766]
Thou that art like enough, through vassal fear,[2767]
Base inclination and the start of spleen,125
To fight against me under Percy's pay,
To dog his heels and curtsy at his frowns,
o show how much thou art degenerate.[2768]

Prince. Do not think so; you shall not find it so:
And God forgive them that so much have sway'd [2769]130
Your majesty's good thoughts away from me!
I will redeem all this on Percy's head
And in the closing of some glorious day
Be bold to tell you that I am your son;
When I will wear a garment all of blood135
And stain my favours in a bloody mask,[2770]
Which, wash'd away, shall scour my shame with it:
And that shall be the day, whene'er it lights,
That this same child of honour and renown,
This gallant Hotspur, this all-praised knight,140
And your unthought-of Harry chance to meet.
For every honour sitting on his helm,[2771]
Would they were multitudes, and on my head [2772]
My shames redoubled! for the time will come,[2773]
That I shall make this northern youth exchange145
His glorious deeds for my indignities.
Percy is but my factor, good my lord,
To engross up glorious deeds on my behalf;[2774]
And I will call him to so strict account,
That he shall render every glory up,150
Yea, even the slightest worship of his time,[2775]
Or I will tear the reckoning from his heart.
This, in the name of God, I promise here:[2776]
The which if He be pleased I shall perform,[2777]
I do beseech your majesty may salve155
The long-grown wounds of my intemperance:[2778]
If not, the end of life cancels all bands;[2779]
And I will die a hundred thousand deaths [2780]
Ere break the smallest parcel of this vow.

King. A hundred thousand rebels die in this:160
Thou shalt have charge and sovereign trust herein.

Enter Blunt.[2781]

How now, good Blunt? thy looks are full of speed.[2782]

Blunt. So hath the business that I come to speak of.[2783]
Lord Mortimer of Scotland hath sent word
That Douglas and the English rebels met165
The eleventh of this month at Shrewsbury:
A mighty and a fearful head they are,
If promises be kept on every hand,
As ever offer'd foul play in a state.

King. The Earl of Westmoreland set forth to-day;[2784]170
With him my son, Lord John of Lancaster;
For this advertisement is five days old:
On Wednesday next, Harry, you shall set forward;[2785]
On Thursday we ourselves will march: our meeting [2786]
Is Bridgenorth: and, Harry, you shall march[2786][2787]175
Through Gloucestershire; by which account,[2786][2788]
Our business valued, some twelve days hence[2788]
Our general forces at Bridgenorth shall meet.
Our hands are full of business: let's away;
Advantage feeds him fat, while men delay.[2789] [Exeunt.180

Scene III. Eastcheap. The Boar's-Head Tavern.[2790]

Enter Falstaff and Bardolph.

Fal. Bardolph, am I not fallen away vilely since this
last action? do I not bate? do I not dwindle? Why, my skin
hangs about me like an old lady's loose gown; I am withered
like an old apple-john. Well, I'll repent, and that suddenly,
while I am in some liking; I shall be out of heart5
shortly, and then I shall have no strength to repent. An [2791]
I have not forgotten what the inside of a church is made of,
I am a peppercorn, a brewer's horse: the inside of a church!
Company, villanous company, hath been the spoil of me.

Bard. Sir John, you are so fretful, you cannot live long.10

Fal. Why, there is it: come sing me a bawdy song;
make me merry. I was as virtuously given as a gentleman [2792]
need to be; virtuous enough; swore little; diced not above
seven times a week; went to a bawdy-house not above once [2793]
in a quarter—of an hour; paid money that I borrowed,[2794]15
three or four times; lived well, and in good compass: and
now I live out of all order, out of all compass.[2795]

Bard. Why, you are so fat, Sir John, that you must
needs be out of all compass, out of all reasonable compass,
Sir John.20

Fal. Do thou amend thy face, and I'll amend my life:[2796]
thou art our admiral, thou bearest the lantern in the poop,[2797]
but 'tis in the nose of thee; thou art the Knight of the [2798]
Burning Lamp.

Bard. Why, Sir John, my face does you no harm.[2799]25

Fal. No, I'll be sworn; I make as good use of it as
many a man doth of a Death's-head or a memento mori:
I never see thy face but I think upon hell-fire, and Dives that
lived in purple; for there he is in his robes, burning,[2800]
burning. If thou wert any way given to virtue, I would swear [2801]30
by thy face; my oath should be, 'By this fire, that's God's [2802]
angel:' but thou art altogether given over; and wert indeed,[2802]
but for the light in thy face, the son of utter darkness.[2803]
When thou rannest up Gadshill in the night to catch my [2804]
horse, if I did not think thou hadst been an ignis fatuus [2805]35
or a ball of wildfire, there's no purchase in money. O, thou
art a perpetual triumph, an everlasting bonfire-light! Thou [2806]
hast saved me a thousand marks in links and torches,
walking with thee in the night betwixt tavern and tavern:
but the sack that thou hast drunk me would have bought me40
lights as good cheap at the dearest chandler's in Europe.[2807]
I have maintained that salamander of yours with fire any [2808]
time this two and thirty years; God reward me for it![2809]

Bard. 'Sblood, I would my face were in your belly![2810]

Fal. God-a-mercy! so should I be sure to be heartburned.[2811]45

Enter Hostess.[2812]

How now, Dame Partlet the hen! have you inquired yet
who picked my pocket?

Host. Why, Sir John, what do you think, Sir John? do
you think I keep thieves in my house? I have searched, I50
have inquired, so has my husband, man by man, boy by
boy, servant by servant: the tithe of a hair was never lost [2813]
in my house before.

Fal. Ye lie, hostess: Bardolph was shaved, and lost
many a hair; and I'll be sworn my pocket was picked.[2814]55
Go to, you are a woman, go.[2815]

Host. Who, I? no; I defy thee: God's light, I was [2816]
never called so in mine own house before.

Fal. Go to, I know you well enough.

Host. No, Sir John; you do not know me, Sir John.60
I know you, Sir John: you owe me money, Sir John; and
now you pick a quarrel to beguile me of it: I bought you a
dozen of shirts to your back.

Fal. Dowlas, filthy dowlas: I have given them away to
bakers' wives, and they have made bolters of them.[2817]65

Host. Now, as I am a true woman, holland of eight [2818]
shillings an ell. You owe money here besides, Sir John,[2818]
for your diet and by-drinkings, and money lent you, four [2819][2820]
and twenty pound.[2820][2821]

Fal. He had his part of it; let him pay.70

Host. He? alas, he is poor; he hath nothing.

Fal. How! poor? look upon his face; what call you
rich? let them coin his nose, let them coin his cheeks: I'll [2822]
not pay a denier. What, will you make a younker of me?
shall I not take mine ease in mine inn but I shall have my75
pocket picked? I have lost a seal-ring of my grandfather's
worth forty mark.

Host. O Jesu, I have heard the prince tell him, I know [2823]
not how oft, that that ring was copper![2824]

Fal. How! the prince is a Jack, a sneak-cup: 'sblood,[2825]80
an he were here, I would cudgel him like a dog, if he would [2826]
say so.

Enter the Prince and Peto, marching, and Falstaff meets them playing on his truncheon like a fife.[2827]

How now, lad! is the wind in that door, i' faith? must we [2828][2829]
all march?[2829]

Bard. Yea, two and two, Newgate fashion.[2830]85

Host. My lord, I pray you, hear me.

Prince. What sayest thou, Mistress Quickly? How
doth thy husband? I love him well; he is an honest man.[2831]

Host. Good my lord, hear me.

Fal. Prithee, let her alone, and list to me.90

Prince. What sayest thou, Jack?

Fal. The other night I fell asleep here behind the
arras, and had my pocket picked: this house is turned
bawdy-house; they pick pockets.

Prince. What didst thou lose, Jack?95

Fal. Wilt thou believe me, Hal? three or four bonds
of forty pound a-piece, and a seal-ring of my grandfather's.[2832]

Prince. A trifle, some eight-penny matter.

Host. So I told him, my lord; and I said I heard
your grace say so: and, my lord, he speaks most vilely of100
you, like a foul-mouthed man as he is; and said he would [2833]
cudgel you.

Prince. What! he did not?

Host. There's neither faith, truth, nor womanhood in
me else.105

Fal. There's no more faith in thee than in a stewed [2834]
prune; nor no more truth in thee than in a drawn fox; and [2835]
for womanhood, Maid Marian may be the deputy's wife of
the ward to thee. Go, you thing, go.[2836]

Host. Say, what thing? what thing?110

Fal. What thing! why, a thing to thank God on.[2837]

Host. I am no thing to thank God on, I would thou[2837][2838]
shouldst know it; I am an honest man's wife: and, setting
thy knighthood aside, thou art a knave to call me so.

Fal. Setting thy womanhood aside, thou art a beast115
to say otherwise.

Host. Say, what beast, thou knave, thou?

Fal. What beast! why, an otter.

Prince. An otter, Sir John! why an otter?

Fal. Why, she's neither fish nor flesh; a man knows120
not where to have her.

Host. Thou art an unjust man in saying so: thou or [2839]
any man knows where to have me, thou knave, thou!

Prince. Thou sayest true, hostess; and he slanders
thee most grossly.125

Host. So he doth you, my lord; and said this other
day you ought him a thousand pound.[2840]

Prince. Sirrah, do I owe you a thousand pound?

Fal. A thousand pound, Hal! a million: thy love is
worth a million: thou owest me thy love.130

Host. Nay, my lord, he called you Jack, and said he
would cudgel you.

Fal. Did I, Bardolph?

Bard. Indeed, Sir John, you said so.

Fal. Yea, if he said my ring was copper.135

Prince. I say 'tis copper: darest thou be as good as
thy word now?

Fal. Why, Hal, thou knowest, as thou art but man, I [2841]
dare: but as thou art prince, I fear thee as I fear the roaring [2842]
of the lion's whelp.140

Prince. And why not as the lion?

Fal. The king himself is to be feared as the lion: dost
thou think I'll fear thee as I fear thy father? nay, an I do,[2843]
I pray God my girdle break.[2844]

Prince. O, if it should, how would thy guts fall about145
thy knees! But, sirrah, there's no room for faith, truth,
nor honesty in this bosom of thine; it is all filled up with [2845]
guts and midriff. Charge an honest woman with picking [2846]
thy pocket! why, thou whoreson, impudent, embossed
rascal, if there were anything in thy pocket but150
tavern-reckonings, memorandums of bawdy-houses, and one poor
penny-worth of sugar-candy to make thee long-winded, if
thy pocket were enriched with any other injuries but
these, I am a villain: and yet you will stand to it; you will
not pocket up wrong: art thou not ashamed?155

Fal. Dost thou hear, Hal? thou knowest in the state
of innocency Adam fell; and what should poor Jack Falstaff [2847]
do in the days of villany? Thou seest I have more
flesh than another man; and therefore more frailty. You
confess then, you picked my pocket?160

Prince. It appears so by the story.

Fal. Hostess, I forgive thee: go, make ready breakfast;[2848]
love thy husband, look to thy servants, cherish thy[2848][2849]
guests: thou shalt find me tractable to any honest reason:[2848][2850]
thou seest I am pacified still. Nay, prithee, be gone.[2848][2851]165
[Exit Hostess.] Now, Hal, to the news at court: for the [2852]
robbery, lad, how is that answered?

Prince. O, my sweet beef, I must still be good angel [2853][2854]
to thee: the money is paid back again.[2853]

Fal. O, I do not like that paying back; 'tis a double170
labour.

Prince. I am good friends with my father, and may
do any thing.

Fal. Rob me the exchequer the first thing thou doest,
and do it with unwashed hands too.175

Bard. Do, my lord.

Prince. I have procured thee, Jack, a charge of foot.

Fal. I would it had been of horse. Where shall I find
one that can steal well? O for a fine thief, of the age of [2855]
two and twenty or thereabouts! I am heinously [2856]180
unprovided. Well, God be thanked for these rebels, they offend [2857]
none but the virtuous: I laud them, I praise them.

Prince. Bardolph!

Bard. My lord?

Prince. Go bear this letter to Lord John of Lancaster,[2858]185
to my brother John; this to my Lord of Westmoreland.[2858][2859]
[Exit Bardolph.] Go, Peto, to horse, to horse; for thou and[2858][2860]
I have thirty miles to ride yet ere dinner time. [Exit Peto.][2858][2861]
Jack, meet me to-morrow in the temple hall at two o'clock[2858]
in the afternoon.[2858][2862]190
There shalt thou know thy charge; and there receive [2863]
Money and order for their furniture.[2863]
The land is burning; Percy stands on high;
And either we or they must lower lie. [Exit.[2864]

Fal. Rare words! brave world! Hostess, my breakfast, come![2865]195
O, I could wish this tavern were my drum! [Exit.[2866]

The Works of William Shakespeare [Cambridge Edition] [Vol. 4 of 9]

About This Book

Scene III. Eastcheap. The Boar's-Head Tavern.[2790]