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The Works of William Shakespeare [Cambridge Edition] [Vol. 4 of 9] cover

The Works of William Shakespeare [Cambridge Edition] [Vol. 4 of 9]

Chapter 195: ACT II.
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About This Book

This volume gathers a sequence of history plays that dramatize struggles over kingship, succession, and national identity in late medieval England. Rulers confront rebellions, papal and foreign pressure, and challenges to legitimacy, while a young prince evolves from license to wartime command. Scenes range from courtly intrigue and parliamentary deposition to battlefield councils and siege drama, intermixing solemn meditation on power and right with earthy comic relief provided by a boisterous companion. Recurring themes include the burdens of rule, honor versus expediency, the manipulation of law and ceremony, and the formation of leadership through conflict.


ACT II.

Scene I. London. A street.

Enter Hostess, Fang and his Boy with her, and Snare following.[3466]

Host. Master Fang, have you entered the action?[3467]
Fang. It is entered.[3468]
Host. Where's your yeoman? Is't a lusty yeoman?[3469]
will a' stand to't?[3470]
Fang. Sirrah, where's Snare?5
Host. O Lord, ay! good Master Snare.[3471]
Snare. Here, here.
Fang. Snare, we must arrest Sir John Falstaff.
Host. Yea, good Master Snare; I have entered him[3472]
and all.10
Snare. It may chance cost some of us our lives, for he[3473]
will stab.
Host. Alas the day! take heed of him; he stabbed me
in mine own house, and that most beastly: in good faith,[3474]
he cares not what mischief he does, if his weapon be out:[3475]15
he will foin like any devil; he will spare neither man,
woman, nor child.
Fang. If I can close with him, I care not for his thrust.
Host. No, nor I neither: I'll be at your elbow.
Fang. An I but fist him once; an a' come but within[3476]20
my vice,—[3477]
Host. I am undone by his going; I warrant you, he's[3478]
an infinitive thing upon my score. Good Master Fang, hold
him sure: good Master Snare, let him not 'scape. A' comes[3479]
continuantly to Pie-corner—saving your manhoods—to buy[3480]25
a saddle; and he is indited to dinner to the Lubber's-head
in Lumbert street, to Master Smooth's the silkman: I pray[3481]
ye, since my exion is entered and my case so openly[3482]
known to the world, let him be brought in to his answer.
A hundred mark is a long one for a poor lone woman to[3483]30
bear: and I have borne, and borne, and borne; and have
been fubbed off, and fubbed off, and fubbed off, from this[3484]
day to that day, that it is a shame to be thought on. There
is no honesty in such dealing; unless a woman should be
made an ass and a beast, to bear every knave's wrong.35
Yonder he comes; and that arrant malmsey-nose knave,[3485]
Bardolph, with him. Do your offices, do your offices: Master
Fang and Master Snare, do me, do me, do me your offices.[3486]

Enter Falstaff, Page, and Bardolph.[3487]

Fal. How now! whose mare's dead? what's the matter?
Fang. Sir John, I arrest you at the suit of Mistress[3488][3489]40
Quickly.[3489]
Fal. Away, varlets! Draw, Bardolph: cut me off the
villain's head: throw the quean in the channel.[3490]
Host. Throw me in the channel! I'll throw thee in the[3490][3491]
channel. Wilt thou? wilt thou? thou bastardly rogue![3491][3492]45
Murder, murder! Ah, thou honey-suckle villain! wilt thou[3493]
kill God's officers and the king's? Ah, thou honey-seed[3493]
rogue! thou art a honey-seed, a man-queller, and a woman-queller.
Fal. Keep them off, Bardolph.50
Fang. A rescue! a rescue!
Host. Good people, bring a rescue or two. Thou wo't,[3494][3495]
wo't thou? thou wo't, wo't ta? do, do, thou rogue! do,[3495][3496]
thou hemp-seed!
Fal. Away, you scullion! you rampallian! you fustilarian![3497][3498]55
I'll tickle your catastrophe.

Enter the Lord Chief-Justice, and his men.[3499]

Ch. Just. What is the matter? keep the peace here, ho![3500]
Host. Good my lord, be good to me. I beseech you,
stand to me.
Ch. Just. How now, Sir John! what are you brawling here?[3501][3502]60
Doth this become your place, your time and business?[3502]
You should have been well on your way to York.[3502]
Stand from him, fellow: wherefore hang'st upon him?[3502][3503]
Host. O my most worshipful lord, an't please your
grace, I am a poor widow of Eastcheap, and he is arrested65
at my suit.
Ch. Just. For what sum?
Host. It is more than for some, my lord; it is for all,[3504]
all I have. He hath eaten me out of house and home; he[3504]
hath put all my substance into that fat belly of his: but I70
will have some of it out again, or I will ride thee o'nights
like the mare.
Fal. I think I am as like to ride the mare, if I have
any vantage of ground to get up.
Ch. Just. How comes this, Sir John? Fie! what man[3505]75
of good temper would endure this tempest of exclamation?
Are you not ashamed to enforce a poor widow to so rough
a course to come by her own?
Fal. What is the gross sum that I owe thee?
Host. Marry, if thou wert an honest man, thyself and the80
money too. Thou didst swear to me upon a parcel-gilt[3506]
goblet, sitting in my Dolphin-chamber, at the round table, by
a sea-coal fire, upon Wednesday in Wheeson week, when[3507]
the prince broke thy head for liking his father to a singing-man[3508]
of Windsor, thou didst swear to me then, as I was85
washing thy wound, to marry me and make me my lady thy
wife. Canst thou deny it? Did not goodwife Keech, the
butcher's wife, come in then and call me gossip Quickly?
coming in to borrow a mess of vinegar; telling us she had
a good dish of prawns; whereby thou didst desire to eat90
some; whereby I told thee they were ill for a green wound?
And didst thou not, when she was gone down stairs, desire[3509]
me to be no more so familiarity with such poor people;[3510]
saying that ere long they should call me madam? And didst
thou not kiss me and bid me fetch thee thirty shillings? I[3511]95
put thee now to thy book-oath: deny it, if thou canst.
Fal. My lord, this is a poor mad soul; and she says[3512]
up and down the town that her eldest son is like you: she
hath been in good case, and the truth is, poverty hath distracted
her. But for these foolish officers, I beseech you I100
may have redress against them.
Ch. Just. Sir John, Sir John, I am well acquainted
with your manner of wrenching the true cause the false
way. It is not a confident brow, nor the throng of words
that come with such more than impudent sauciness from105
you, can thrust me from a level consideration: you have,[3513]
as it appears to me, practised upon the easy-yielding spirit[3513]
of this woman, and made her serve your uses both in purse[3513]
and in person.[3513]
Host. Yea, in truth, my lord.[3514]110
Ch. Just. Pray thee, peace. Pay her the debt you owe[3515]
her, and unpay the villany you have done her: the one[3516]
you may do with sterling money, and the other with current
repentance.
Fal. My lord, I will not undergo this sneap without115
reply. You call honourable boldness impudent sauciness:
if a man will make courtesy and say nothing, he is virtuous:[3517]
no, my lord, my humble duty remembered, I will[3518]
not be your suitor. I say to you, I do desire deliverance[3519]
from these officers, being upon hasty employment in the[3520]120
king's affairs.
Ch. Just. You speak as having power to do wrong:
but answer in the effect of your reputation, and satisfy the[3521]
poor woman.
Fal. Come hither, hostess.125

Enter Gower.[3522]

Ch. Just. Now, Master Gower, what news?[3523]
Gow. The king, my lord, and Harry Prince of Wales[3524]
Are near at hand: the rest the paper tells.[3525]
Fal. As I am a gentleman.
Host. Faith, you said so before.[3526]130
Fal. As I am a gentleman. Come, no more words
of it.
Host. By this heavenly ground I tread on, I must be
fain to pawn both my plate and the tapestry of my
dining-chambers.135
Fal. Glasses, glasses, is the only drinking: and for thy
walls, a pretty slight drollery, or the story of the Prodigal,
or the German hunting in water-work, is worth a thousand[3527]
of these bed-hangings and these fly-bitten tapestries. Let[3528]
it be ten pound, if thou canst. Come, an 'twere not for[3529]140
thy humours, there's not a better wench in England. Go,[3530]
wash thy face, and draw the action. Come, thou must not[3531]
be in this humour with me; dost not know me? come,[3532]
come, I know thou wast set on to this.
Host. Pray thee, Sir John, let it be but twenty nobles:[3533]145
i' faith, I am loath to pawn my plate, so God save me, la![3534]
Fal. Let it alone; I'll make other shift: you'll be a[3535]
fool still.
Host. Well, you shall have it, though I pawn my[3536]
gown. I hope you'll come to supper. You'll pay me150
all together?[3537]
Fal. Will I live? [To Bardolph] Go, with her, with[3538]
her; hook on, hook on.
Host. Will you have Doll Tearsheet meet you at
supper?155
Fal. No more words; let's have her.

[Exeunt Hostess, Bardolph, Officers, and Boy.[3539]

Ch. Just. I have heard better news.[3540]
Fal. What's the news, my lord?[3541]
Ch. Just. Where lay the king last night?[3542]
Gow. At Basingstoke, my lord.[3543][3544]160
Fal. I hope, my lord, all's well: what is the news, my
lord?
Ch. Just. Come all his forces back?
Gow. No; fifteen hundred foot, five hundred horse,[3543][3545]
Are march'd up to my lord of Lancaster,[3545]165
Against Northumberland and the Archbishop.[3545]
Fal. Comes the king back from Wales, my noble lord?
Ch. Just. You shall have letters of me presently:
Come, go along with me, good Master Gower.
Fal. My lord![3546]170
Ch. Just. What's the matter?
Fal. Master Gower, shall I entreat you with me to[3547]
dinner?
Gow. I must wait upon my good lord here; I thank
you, good Sir John.175
Ch. Just. Sir John, you loiter here too long, being you[3548]
are to take soldiers up in counties as you go.[3548][3549]
Fal. Will you sup with me, Master Gower?
Ch. Just. What foolish master taught you these
manners, Sir John?180
Fal. Master Gower, if they become me not, he was a
fool that taught them me. This is the right fencing grace,
my lord; tap for tap, and so part fair.
Ch. Just. Now the Lord lighten thee! thou art a great
fool. [Exeunt.[3550]185

Scene II. London. Another street.

Enter Prince Henry and Poins.[3551]

Prince. Before God, I am exceeding weary.[3552]
Poins. Is't come to that? I had thought weariness[3553]
durst not have attached one of so high blood.
Prince. Faith, it does me; though it discolours the[3554]
complexion of my greatness to acknowledge it. Doth it5
not show vilely in me to desire small beer?
Poins. Why, a prince should not be so loosely studied
as to remember so weak a composition.
Prince. Belike then my appetite was not princely got;
for, by my troth, I do now remember the poor creature,[3555]10
small beer. But, indeed, these humble considerations make
me out of love with my greatness. What a disgrace is it
to me to remember thy name! or to know thy face
tomorrow! or to take note how many pair of silk stockings[3556]
thou hast, viz. these, and those that were thy peach-coloured[3557]15
ones! or to bear the inventory of thy shirts, as, one for[3558]
superfluity, and another for use! But that the[3559]
tennis-court-keeper knows better than I; for it is a low ebb of linen with
thee when thou keepest not racket there; as thou hast not[3560]
done a great while, because the rest of thy low countries[3561]20
have made a shift to eat up thy holland: and God knows[3562][3563]
whether those that bawl out the ruins of thy linen shall[3563][3564]
inherit his kingdom: but the midwives say the children[3563]
are not in the fault; whereupon the world increases, and[3563]
kindreds are mightily strengthened.[3563]25
Poins. How ill it follows, after you have laboured so
hard, you should talk so idly! Tell me, how many good
young princes would do so, their fathers being so sick as[3565]
yours at this time is?[3566]
Prince. Shall I tell thee one thing, Poins?30
Poins. Yes, faith; and let it be an excellent good thing.[3567]
Prince. It shall serve among wits of no higher breeding
than thine.
Poins. Go to; I stand the push of your one thing that
you will tell.[3568]35
Prince. Marry, I tell thee, it is not meet that I should[3569]
be sad, now my father is sick: albeit I could tell to thee, as
to one it pleases me, for fault of a better, to call my friend,
I could be sad, and sad indeed too.
Poins. Very hardly upon such a subject.40
Prince. By this hand, thou thinkest me as far in the[3570]
devil's book as thou and Falstaff for obduracy and persistency:
let the end try the man. But I tell thee, my heart
bleeds inwardly that my father is so sick: and keeping such[3571]
vile company as thou art hath in reason taken from me all45
ostentation of sorrow.
Poins. The reason?[3572]
Prince. What wouldst thou think of me, if I should
weep?
Poins. I would think thee a most princely hypocrite.50
Prince. It would be every man's thought; and thou art
a blessed fellow to think as every man thinks: never a man's
thought in the world keeps the road-way better than thine:
every man would think me an hypocrite indeed. And what
accites your most worshipful thought to think so?[3573]55
Poins. Why, because you have been so lewd, and so[3574]
much engraffed to Falstaff.
Prince. And to thee.
Poins. By this light, I am well spoke on; I can hear it[3575]
with mine own ears: the worst that they can say of me is[3576]60
that I am a second brother, and that I am a proper fellow
of my hands; and those two things, I confess, I cannot
help. By the mass, here comes Bardolph.[3577]

Enter Bardolph and Page.[3578]

Prince. And the boy that I gave Falstaff: a' had him[3579]
from me Christian; and look, if the fat villain have not[3580]65
transformed him ape.
Bard. God save your grace![3581]
Prince. And yours, most noble Bardolph!
Bard. Come, you virtuous ass, you bashful fool, must[3582]
you be blushing? wherefore blush you now? What a70
maidenly man-at-arms are you become! Is't such a[3583]
matter to get a pottle-pot's maidenhead?
Page. A' calls me e'en now, my lord, through a red[3584]
lattice, and I could discern no part of his face from the
window: at last I spied his eyes; and methought he had75
made two holes in the ale-wife's new petticoat and so[3585]
peeped through.
Prince. Has not the boy profited?[3586][3587]
Bard. Away, you whoreson upright rabbit, away![3586][3588]
Page. Away, you rascally Althæa's dream, away!80
Prince. Instruct us, boy; what dream, boy?
Page. Marry, my lord, Althæa dreamed she was[3589]
delivered of a fire-brand; and therefore I call him her dream.
Prince. A crown's worth of good interpretation: there
'tis, boy.[3590]85
Poins. O, that this good blossom could be kept from[3591]
cankers! Well, there is sixpence to preserve thee.
Bard. An you do not make him hanged among you,[3592]
the gallows shall have wrong.[3593]
Prince. And how doth thy master, Bardolph?90
Bard. Well, my lord. He heard of your grace's coming[3594]
to town: there's a letter for you.
Poins. Delivered with good respect. And how doth[3595]
the martlemas, your master?
Bard. In bodily health, sir.95
Poins. Marry, the immortal part needs a physician; but
that moves not him: though that be sick, it dies not.
Prince. I do allow this wen to be as familiar with me
as my dog; and he holds his place; for look you how he[3596]
writes.100
Poins. [Reads] 'John Falstaff, knight,'—every man must[3597]
know that, as oft as he has occasion to name himself: even[3598]
like those that are kin to the king; for they never prick
their finger but they say, 'There's some of the king's blood[3599]
spilt.' 'How comes that?' says he, that takes upon him105
not to conceive. The answer is as ready as a borrower's[3600]
cap, 'I am the king's poor cousin, sir.'[3600]
Prince. Nay, they will be kin to us, or they will fetch[3601]
it from Japhet. But to the letter:[3602]
Poins. [Reads] 'Sir John Falstaff, knight, to the son of the[3603]110
king, nearest his father, Harry Prince of Wales, greeting.' Why,[3604]
this is a certificate.
Prince. Peace!
Poins. [Reads] 'I will imitate the honourable Romans in[3605]
brevity:' he sure means brevity in breath, short-winded. 'I[3606]115
commend me to thee, I commend thee, and I leave thee. Be not[3607]
too familiar with Poins; for he misuses thy favours so much, that he
swears thou art to marry his sister Nell. Repent at idle times as thou
mayest; and so, farewell.
'Thine, by yea and no, which is as much as to say, as120
thou usest him, Jack Falstaff with my[3608]
familiars, John with my brothers and sisters, and Sir[3609]
John with all Europe.'
My lord, I'll steep this letter in sack, and make him eat it.[3610]
Prince. That's to make him eat twenty of his words.[3611]125
But do you use me thus, Ned? must I marry your sister?
Poins. God send the wench no worse fortune! But I[3612]
never said so.
Prince. Well, thus we play the fools with the time;[3613]
and the spirits of the wise sit in the clouds and mock us.130
Is your master here in London?
Bard. Yea, my lord.[3614]
Prince. Where sups he? doth the old boar feed in the[3615]
old frank?
Bard. At the old place, my lord, in Eastcheap.135
Prince. What company?
Page. Ephesians, my lord, of the old church.
Prince. Sup any women with him?
Page. None, my lord, but old Mistress Quickly and
Mistress Doll Tearsheet.140
Prince. What pagan may that be?
Page. A proper gentlewoman, sir, and a kinswoman of
my master's.
Prince. Even such kin as the parish heifers are to the[3616]
town bull. Shall we steal upon them, Ned, at supper?145
Poins. I am your shadow, my lord; I'll follow you.
Prince. Sirrah, you boy, and Bardolph, no word to
your master that I am yet come to town: there's for your[3617]
silence.
Bard. I have no tongue, sir.150
Page. And for mine, sir, I will govern it.
Prince. Fare you well; go. [Exeunt Bardolph and Page.][3618]
This Doll Tearsheet should be some road.[3619]
Poins. I warrant you, as common as the way between
Saint Alban's and London.155
Prince. How might we see Falstaff bestow himself to-night
in his true colours, and not ourselves be seen?[3620]
Poins. Put on two leathern jerkins and aprons, and[3621]
wait upon him at his table as drawers.[3622]
Prince. From a God to a bull? a heavy descension! it[3623][3624]160
was Jove's case. From a prince to a prentice? a low[3624][3625]
transformation! that shall be mine; for in every thing the[3624]
purpose must weigh with the folly. Follow me, Ned.

[Exeunt.

Scene III. Warkworth. Before the castle.

Enter Northumberland, Lady Northumberland, and Lady Percy.[3626]