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The Works of William Shakespeare [Cambridge Edition] [Vol. 6 of 9]

Chapter 62: ACT II.
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About This Book

The volume collects four dramatic works that range from a historical drama focused on court politics and questions of succession to a skeptical treatment of love and honor amid a prolonged war. Another play examines pride, civic unrest, and the fraught relationship between a celebrated public figure and the populace, ending in alienation and political catastrophe. A final piece delivers a brutal revenge tragedy where cycles of atrocity and retaliation escalate into extreme violence. The edition pairs the plays with scholarly notes and textual commentary that document variant readings and editorial decisions.


ACT II.

Scene I. The Grecian camp.[1262]

Enter Ajax and Thersites.

Ajax. Thersites!
Ther. Agamemnon—how if he had boils—full, all[1263]
over, generally?[1264]
Ajax. Thersites!
Ther. And those boils did run?—Say so,—did not the 5
general run then? were not that a botchy core?[1265]
Ajax. Dog!
Ther. Then would come some matter from him; I see[1266]
none now.
Ajax. Thou bitch-wolf's son, canst thou not hear? 10
Feel, then. [Strikes him.[1267]
Ther. The plague of Greece upon thee, thou mongrel
beef-witted lord!
Ajax. Speak then, thou vinewed'st leaven, speak: I[1268]
will beat thee into handsomeness. 15
Ther. I shall sooner rail thee into wit and holiness: but,
I think, thy horse will sooner con an oration than thou[1269]
learn a prayer without book. Thou canst strike, canst[1270]
thou? a red murrain o' thy jade's tricks![1271]
Ajax. Toadstool, learn me the proclamation.[1272] 20
Ther. Dost thou think I have no sense, thou strikest
me thus?
Ajax. The proclamation!
Ther. Thou art proclaimed a fool, I think.[1273]
Ajax. Do not, porpentine, do not; my fingers itch.[1274] 25
Ther. I would thou didst itch from head to foot, and I
had the scratching of thee; I would make thee the loathsomest
scab in Greece. When thou art forth in the incursions,[1275]
thou strikest as slow as another.[1275]
Ajax. I say, the proclamation! 30
Ther. Thou grumblest and railest every hour on Achilles,
and thou art as full of envy at his greatness as Cerberus
is at Proserpina's beauty, ay, that thou barkest at him.[1276]
Ajax. Mistress Thersites![1277]
Ther. Thou shouldst strike him.[1278] 35
Ajax. Cobloaf![1278][1279]
Ther. He would pun thee into shivers with his fist, as a[1278][1280]
sailor breaks a biscuit.
Ajax. [Beating him] You whoreson cur![1281][1282]
Ther. Do, do.[1283] 40
Ajax. Thou stool for a witch!
Ther. Ay, do, do; thou sodden-witted lord! thou hast[1284]
no more brain than I have in my elbows; an assinego[1285]
may tutor thee: thou scurvy-valiant ass! thou art here but[1286]
to thrash Trojans; and thou art bought and sold among[1287] 45
those of any wit, like a barbarian slave. If thou use to
beat me, I will begin at thy heel and tell what thou art by
inches, thou thing of no bowels, thou![1288]
Ajax. You dog!
Ther. You scurvy lord! 50
Ajax. [Beating him] You cur![1281]
Ther. Mars his idiot! do, rudeness; do, camel, do, do.

Enter Achilles and Patroclus.[1289]

Achil. Why, how now, Ajax! wherefore do ye thus?[1290]
How now, Thersites! what's the matter, man?
Ther. You see him there, do you? 55
Achil. Ay; what's the matter?
Ther. Nay, look upon him.
Achil. So I do: what's the matter?
Ther. Nay, but regard him well.
Achil. 'Well!' why, so I do.[1291] 60
Ther. But yet you look not well upon him; for, whosoever[1292]
you take him to be, he is Ajax.
Achil. I know that, fool.
Ther. Ay, but that fool knows not himself.
Ajax. Therefore I beat thee. 65
Ther. Lo, lo, lo, lo, what modicums of wit he utters! his
evasions have ears thus long. I have bobbed his brain more[1293]
than he has beat my bones: I will buy nine sparrows for a[1294]
penny, and his pia mater is not worth the ninth part of a
sparrow. This lord, Achilles, Ajax, who wears his wit in 70
his belly and his guts in his head, I'll tell you what I say[1295]
of him.
Achil. What?
Ther. I say, this Ajax— [Ajax offers to strike him.[1296]
Achil. Nay, good Ajax. 75
Ther. Has not so much wit—
Achil. Nay, I must hold you.
Ther. As will stop the eye of Helen's needle, for whom
he comes to fight.
Achil. Peace, fool! 80
Ther. I would have peace and quietness, but the fool
will not: he there: that he: look you there!
Ajax. O thou damned cur! I shall—
Achil. Will you set your wit to a fool's?
Ther. No, I warrant you; for a fool's will shame it.[1297] 85
Patr. Good words, Thersites.[1298]
Achil. What's the quarrel?
Ajax. I bade the vile owl go learn me the tenour of the[1299]
proclamation, and he rails upon me.
Ther. I serve thee not. 90
Ajax. Well, go to, go to.
Ther. I serve here voluntary.
Achil. Your last service was sufferance, 'twas not voluntary;
no man is beaten voluntary: Ajax was here the
voluntary, and you as under an impress. 95
Ther. E'en so; a great deal of your wit too lies in[1300]
your sinews, or else there be liars. Hector shall have a
great catch, if he knock out either of your brains: a' were[1301]
as good crack a fusty nut with no kernel.
Achil. What, with me too, Thersites? 100
Ther. There's Ulysses and old Nestor, whose wit was
mouldy ere your grandsires had nails on their toes, yoke[1302]
you like draught-oxen, and make you plough up the wars.[1303]
Achil. What? what?
Ther. Yes, good sooth: to, Achilles! to, Ajax! to![1304] 105
Ajax. I shall cut out your tongue.
Ther. 'Tis no matter; I shall speak as much as thou[1305]
afterwards.
Patr. No more words, Thersites; peace![1306]
Ther. I will hold my peace when Achilles' brooch bids[1307] 110
me, shall I?
Achil. There's for you, Patroclus.
Ther. I will see you hanged, like clotpoles, ere I come[1308]
any more to your tents: I will keep where there is wit stirring,
and leave the faction of fools. [Exit. 115
Patr. A good riddance.
Achil. Marry, this, sir, is proclaim'd through all our
host:
That Hector, by the fifth hour of the sun,[1309]
Will with a trumpet 'twixt our tents and Troy
To-morrow morning call some knight to arms 120
That hath a stomach, and such a one that dare
Maintain—I know not what: 'tis trash. Farewell.[1310]
Ajax. Farewell. Who shall answer him?[1311]
Achil. I know not; 'tis put to lottery; otherwise
He knew his man. 125
Ajax. O, meaning you. I will go learn more of it.[1312]

[Exeunt.

Scene II. Troy. A room in Priam's palace.[1313]

Enter Priam, Hector, Troilus, Paris, and Helenus.

Pri. After so many hours, lives, speeches spent,[1314]
Thus once again says Nestor from the Greeks:
'Deliver Helen, and all damage else,[1315]
As honour, loss of time, travail, expense,[1316]
Wounds, friends, and what else dear that is consumed 5
In hot digestion of this cormorant war,[1317]
Shall be struck off.' Hector, what say you to't?[1318]
Hect. Though no man lesser fears the Greeks than I
As far as toucheth my particular,[1319][1320]
Yet, dread Priam,[1319] 10
There is no lady of more softer bowels,[1321]
More spongy to suck in the sense of fear,
More ready to cry out 'Who knows what follows?'
Than Hector is: the wound of peace is surety,[1322][1323]
Surety secure: but modest doubt is call'd[1323] 15
The beacon of the wise, the tent that searches
To the bottom of the worst. Let Helen go.[1324]
Since the first sword was drawn about this question,
Every tithe soul, 'mongst many thousand dismes,
Hath been as dear as Helen; I mean, of ours: 20
If we have lost so many tenths of ours,
To guard a thing not ours, nor worth to us,[1325]
Had it our name, the value of one ten,[1326]
What merit's in that reason which denies[1327]
The yielding of her up?
Tro. Fie, fie, my brother! 25
Weigh you the worth and honour of a king,[1328]
So great as our dread father, in a scale[1329]
Of common ounces? will you with counters sum
The past proportion of his infinite?[1330]
And buckle in a waist most fathomless[1331] 30
With spans and inches so diminutive
As fears and reasons? fie, for godly shame![1332]
Hel. No marvel, though you bite so sharp at reasons,[1333]
You are so empty of them. Should not our father[1334]
Bear the great sway of his affairs with reasons,[1335] 35
Because your speech hath none that tells him so?[1336]
Tro. You are for dreams and slumbers, brother priest;
You fur your gloves with reason. Here are your reasons:[1337]
You know an enemy intends you harm;
You know a sword employ'd is perilous, 40
And reason flies the object of all harm:
Who marvels then, when Helenus beholds
A Grecian and his sword, if he do set
The very wings of reason to his heels,
And fly like chidden Mercury from Jove,[1338] 45
Or like a star disorb'd? Nay, if we talk of reason,[1338]
Let's shut our gates, and sleep: manhood and honour[1339]
Should have hare hearts, would they but fat their thoughts[1340]
With this cramm'd reason: reason and respect
Make livers pale and lustihood deject.[1341] 50
Hect. Brother, she is not worth what she doth cost[1342]
The holding.[1342]
Tro. What's aught, but as 'tis valued?[1343]
Hect. But value dwells not in particular will;
It holds his estimate and dignity[1344]
As well wherein 'tis precious of itself 55
As in the prizer: 'tis mad idolatry[1345]
To make the service greater than the god;[1346]
And the will dotes, that is attributive[1347]
To what infectiously itself affects,
Without some image of the affected merit.[1348] 60
Tro. I take to-day a wife, and my election
Is led on in the conduct of my will;
My will enkindled by mine eyes and ears.[1349]
Two traded pilots 'twixt the dangerous shores[1350]
Of will and judgement: how may I avoid,[1351] 65
Although my will distaste what it elected,[1351]
The wife I chose? there can be no evasion[1351][1352]
To blench from this, and to stand firm by honour.
We turn not back the silks upon the merchant
When we have soil'd them, nor the remainder viands[1353] 70
We do not throw in unrespective sieve,[1354]
Because we now are full. It was thought meet[1355]
Paris should do some vengeance on the Greeks:
Your breath of full consent bellied his sails;[1356]
The seas and winds, old wranglers, took a truce, 75
And did him service: he touch'd the ports desired;
And for an old aunt whom the Greeks held captive
He brought a Grecian queen, whose youth and freshness
Wrinkles Apollo's and makes stale the morning.[1357]
Why keep we her? the Grecians keep our aunt: 80
Is she worth keeping? why, she is a pearl,
Whose price hath launch'd above a thousand ships,
And turn'd crown'd kings to merchants.
If you'll avouch 'twas wisdom Paris went,
As you must needs, for you all cried 'Go, go,' 85
If you'll confess he brought home noble prize,[1358]
As you must needs, for you all clapp'd your hands
And cried 'Inestimable!' why do you now
The issue of your proper wisdoms rate,[1359]
And do a deed that Fortune never did,[1360] 90
Beggar the estimation which you prized
Richer than sea and land? O, theft most base,
That we have stol'n what we do fear to keep![1361]
But thieves unworthy of a thing so stol'n,[1362]
That in their country did them that disgrace[1363] 95
We fear to warrant in our native place!
Cas. [Within] Cry, Trojans, cry![1364][1365]
Pri. What noise? what shriek is this?
Tro. 'Tis our mad sister, I do know her voice.
Cas. [Within] Cry, Trojans![1365]
Hect. It is Cassandra. 100

Enter Cassandra, raving, with her hair about her ears.[1366]

Cas. Cry, Trojans, cry! lend me ten thousand eyes,[1367]
And I will fill them with prophetic tears.
Hect. Peace, sister, peace!
Cas. Virgins and boys, mid age and wrinkled old,[1368]
Soft infancy, that nothing canst but cry,[1369] 105
Add to my clamours! let us pay betimes[1370]
A moiety of that mass of moan to come.
Cry, Trojans, cry! practise your eyes with tears!
Troy must not be, nor goodly Ilion stand;
Our firebrand brother, Paris, burns us all. 110
Cry, Trojans, cry! a Helen and a woe:
Cry, cry! Troy burns, or else let Helen go. [Exit.
Hect. Now, youthful Troilus, do not these high strains[1371]
Of divination in our sister work
Some touches of remorse? or is your blood 115
So madly hot that no discourse of reason,
Nor fear of bad success in a bad cause,
Can qualify the same?
Tro. Why, brother Hector,
We may not think the justness of each act[1372]
Such and no other than event doth form it; 120
Nor once deject the courage of our minds,
Because Cassandra's mad: her brain-sick raptures
Cannot distaste the goodness of a quarrel
Which hath our several honours all engaged
To make it gracious. For my private part, 125
I am no more touch'd than all Priam's sons:[1373]
And Jove forbid there should be done amongst us
Such things as might offend the weakest spleen
To fight for and maintain!
Par. Else might the world convince of levity[1374] 130
As well my undertakings as your counsels:[1375]
But I attest the gods, your full consent[1376]
Gave wings to my propension and cut off
All fears attending on so dire a project.
For what, alas, can these my single arms? 135
What propugnation is in one man's valour,
To stand the push and enmity of those
This quarrel would excite? Yet, I protest,
Were I alone to pass the difficulties[1377]
And had as ample power as I have will, 140
Paris should ne'er retract what he hath done,
Nor faint in the pursuit.
Pri. Paris, you speak
Like one besotted on your sweet delights:
You have the honey still, but these the gall;
So to be valiant is no praise at all. 145
Par. Sir, I propose not merely to myself
The pleasures such a beauty brings with it;
But I would have the soil of her fair rape
Wiped off, in honourable keeping her.
What treason were it to the ransack'd queen, 150
Disgrace to your great worths, and shame to me,
Now to deliver her possession up
On terms of base compulsion! Can it be
That so degenerate a strain as this
Should once set footing in your generous bosoms?[1378] 155
There's not the meanest spirit on our party,[1379]
Without a heart to dare or sword to draw
When Helen is defended, nor none so noble,[1380]
Whose life were ill bestow'd or death unfamed
Where Helen is the subject: then, I say, 160
Well may we fight for her, whom, we know well,
The world's large spaces cannot parallel.
Hect. Paris and Troilus, you have both said well;
And on the cause and question now in hand[1381]
Have glozed, but superficially; not much[1382] 165
Unlike young men, whom Aristotle thought[1383]
Unfit to hear moral philosophy.
The reasons you allege do more conduce
To the hot passion of distemper'd blood
Than to make up a free determination 170
'Twixt right and wrong; for pleasure and revenge
Have ears more deaf than adders to the voice[1384]
Of any true decision. Nature craves
All dues be render'd to their owners: now,
What nearer debt in all humanity 175
Than wife is to the husband? If this law
Of nature be corrupted through affection,
And that great minds, of partial indulgence
To their benumbed wills, resist the same,
There is a law in each well-order'd nation[1385] 180
To curb those raging appetites that are
Most disobedient and refractory.[1386]
If Helen then be wife to Sparta's king,
As it is known she is, these moral laws
Of nature and of nations speak aloud[1387] 185
To have her back return'd: thus to persist
In doing wrong extenuates not wrong,
But makes it much more heavy. Hector's opinion
Is this in way of truth: yet, ne'ertheless,
My spritely brethren, I propend to you 190
In resolution to keep Helen still;
For 'tis a cause that hath no mean dependance
Upon our joint and several dignities.
Tro. Why, there you touch'd the life of our design:[1388]
Were it not glory that we more affected 195
Than the performance of our heaving spleens,
I would not wish a drop of Trojan blood
Spent more in her defence. But, worthy Hector,
She is a theme of honour and renown;
A spur to valiant and magnanimous deeds, 200
Whose present courage may beat down our foes,
And fame in time to come canonize us:
For, I presume, brave Hector would not lose
So rich advantage of a promised glory
As smiles upon the forehead of this action 205
For the wide world's revenue.
Hect. I am yours,
You valiant offspring of great Priamus.
I have a roisting challenge sent amongst
The dull and factious nobles of the Greeks
Will strike amazement to their drowsy spirits:[1389] 210
I was advertised their great general slept,
Whilst emulation in the army crept:[1390]
This, I presume, will wake him. [Exeunt.

Scene III. The Grecian camp. Before the tent of Achilles.[1391]

Enter Thersites, solus.