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Thrills of a Bell Boy

Chapter 17: XVI.
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About This Book

The collection presents a series of comic, first-person monologues by a hotel bellboy who idolizes actresses and imagines alternate lives as a wealthy lover or stage star. Through colloquial, humorous verses he recounts bouquet-throwing mishaps, backstage glimpses, romantic fantasies, and the deflating discovery of performers’ ordinary realities, while reflecting on appearances, social aspiration, and gossip. Light irony and working-class vernacular punctuate moments of yearning and self-deprecating wit, shifting between dreamy ambition and pragmatic resignation across short, episodic poems.

XVI.

THE other day we had excitement here;
The news-stand caught afire, and I thought
I’d be heroic Johnny-on-the-spot;
I grabbed the operator, yellin’: “Dear,
I’m here to save your life, so never fear.”
But just about that time I felt a swat,
And there was lots of things that I fergot
While Morton dragged me with him by the ear.
They’d doused the blaze before it got a start,
And I’d fergot our fire-drill, you see,
That’s what made Morton come and jump on me—
He nearly tore my head and ear apart—
That Alexander’s too dumnation smart.
They’re all a-kiddin’ me fer what I done,
And she looks on and seems to think it’s fun
Confound it! that’s What nearly breaks my heart.